xiao sliccmic π€
@sliccmic
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Flat earth
Joined August 2017
i was just running up the stairs to catch the train and this guy goes youre not gonna make it. and his gf was like WHATS WRONG WITH YOU and they started arguing omfggg.
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one of my favorite family guy jokes is when peter is trying to think of a fake name so he lists everything he sees and its like pea. tear. griffin.
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im at the dentist and i had to hold in my laugh so bad because i kept feeling like this
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let me tell you girls something about men who work in finance.
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if a vampire bit me i would not be scared id probably start jacking it if im being honest.
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βwe knew each other in a past lifeβ isnt cute to me anymore because im starting to remember why i stopped fucking with you in 1922.
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he always has that hole showing. .
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no offense but. i love 2 get on. i love 2 get 2 on. .
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no because what is wrong with his dumb ass im sitting on said train right now.
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i think dating is too hard for me i should maybe go get addicted to drugs or something.
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my breakdown turned into a breakthrough lets go girls
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now imagine being 27.
being 22 is crazy bc i just talked to someone my age working in a cardiology department meanwhile im hoping to land a job at spirit halloween.
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i actually cured my hypochondria by not having health insurance my brain was like we cant afford to have that disease actually. .
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im not a person who watches movies like ever so i can honestly say midsommar did to my brain what sprite would do to a caveman.
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i could never be an uber driver because if 2 people start laughing in the backseat im gonna get self conscious.
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once i find out someone didnt watch spongebob growing up thats all i think about every time i see them.
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he doesnt give a FUCK! next question.
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i love when people are like "do you remember when you said _____" honestly no but if its something funny i believe you.
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very important to stay busy at all times or else the thinking begins. .
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@foxysexygrandpa CHEATERS!!!! they are the biggest cheaters ever. i work near wall street and i would NEVERRRR date one and their breath stank.
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still checking my phone even though i clearly got ghosted
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me 5 minutes after having the craziest emotional outburst anyone has ever seen
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this is so funny because 2013-2018 was like the best time to be in that age group. you guys didnt get to have any of the fun parts of life, your concerts cost like 3x what we paid and honestly you guys can barely read.
18 in 2013 is wild.
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some people come into your life just to be weird and leave.
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i am so excited to get too high and freak out in the theater.
In celebration of its 15th Anniversary, βCORALINEβ will be re-released in Remastered 3D worldwide this August.
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i think its so weird when people have jobs you need to come outside and play with me.
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what happened to putlocker???? 123movies??? we used to be a society π.
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this is what my mom sees when i smoke my morning joint
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it really bothers me when straight men dont know how ugly they are.
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why god why do i live in the $20 sandwich $2000 to rent a BEDROOM timeline.
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I am starting to believe natalie nunn is actually jojo siwa's real mom but she gave her up for adoption when she was born and theyre both on their hero's journey back to each other.
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i absolutely have whatever azealia banks and kanye west have i just havent been interviewed yet.
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i love when im watching an old movie and theres an old person in it like wow you have to be old af to be old in the 50s.
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working on your period should be illegal. we need menstrual leave ASAP.
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guy who fumbled you and now watches all of your stories in silence.
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my exes dont come back because i black out and tell them to kill themselves LMFAO.
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moving in silence (i just told 15 different people all my plans for the future).
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men kinda snapped when they invented paying for my dinner.
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"2014 tumblr" if you werent in the TRENCHES of 2011-2012 tumblr i dont wanna hear it.
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the root of all suffering is actually not having a routine.
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this guy ghosted me so horribly i want to take his face and run it through the chubby filter on face app 100 times because he told me he was insecure about being fat as a kid.
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when i eat a mango i close my eyes and pretend im a gay little monkey in the jungle.
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everyone who mistreats me burns in hell for eternity. so think about that.
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i wasnt going to smoke today but i got in an argument with my cat (again) so i have no choice.
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instead of renting an apartment im going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.
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i love the word pathetic. it just really gets the job done.
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accidentally getting violently high before i leave the house
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What's your first tweet when you search for "gay" in your page?.
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im going to invent an app that shoots you in the hand if you try to open hinge.
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my inner monologue: i am so beautiful hideous i love my life i cant take it anymore im going to rip my skin off i deserve a treat.
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cooking high as fuck thinking this is just like cooking mama.
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i dont think talking shit is a low vibrational thing i think its worse to hold that in. plus it makes me laugh so if anything its uplifting.
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cats can sense when youre broke asf and decide they need to go to the vet asap.
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women can be full of lust thats fine but when men do it eww youre disgusting.
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andy samberg look alike competition at my house this weekend dm for addy.
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ive been singing "this time next year i'll be living so good i swearrrrr" for about 7 years now. .
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im trying to watch girls but lena dunham looks like she smells like cheese i cant focus.
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that one person you have an undeniable karmic link to and no matter how hard you try to push it down it will always in the back of your mind every day for the rest of your life but theres a bigger lesson about detachment and surrender so you just have to accept it is what it is.
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i hate when i feel a past life connection like. did you cheat on me in 1943 be honest.
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if they had dating apps on sex and the city they wouldve had 10000 bodies EACH.
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i shouldve had a baby when i was in high school i would have someone to play mario party with by now.
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i literally watched that shit like 3 years ago and im still thinking about it make it stop.
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the killer:.
Walk more. Walk alone. Walk with friends. Walk in silence. Walk with great tunes. Walk with nowhere to go, drenched in sweat, 5 miles for absolutely no reason. Walking reveals answers. Just walk.
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me when i say i want to kms but ive been saying that since i was 9 so nobody gaf
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i knew it was wrong when i was typing it but i just kept going.
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hey guys im working at the pyramid tonight if anyone wants to stop by.
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me after a long day of thinking everyone hates me and im weird
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inflation is probably never going back down, you cant really enjoy life because everyone is always recording and everything is so sterilized because there is very little authenticity. you guys live in a completely different society than we did in a very bad wayπ₯².
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If a white woman ever tells you she likes horses you should be scared but if a white woman ever corrects you and says theyre βequestriansβ you better fucking RUN.
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π€ and π are the two most insane but powerful emojis if you see anyone using them please refer them to a psychiatric facility immediately.
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its not enough to kill myself i need to get murdered so everyone can feel extra bad.
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