Jacquie H ๐ช๐บ๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
@shroommuse
Followers
4,269
Following
4,064
Media
6,913
Statuses
92,919
Scottish ex-pat-Archer, artist,music lover and mycophile. Slave to chocolate. Best friends with my inner child #KeepJohnsonOut @Shroommuse @mstdn .social
Germany
Joined June 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
McDonald
• 483989 Tweets
Flamengo
• 220833 Tweets
Corinthians
• 191379 Tweets
Charles
• 173048 Tweets
Fenerbahรงe
• 157157 Tweets
#USGP
• 145693 Tweets
Gavi
• 126090 Tweets
Giants
• 121085 Tweets
Lions
• 93364 Tweets
Ferrari
• 89142 Tweets
Franco
• 88364 Tweets
Norris
• 85247 Tweets
Watson
• 80352 Tweets
Lando
• 72228 Tweets
Browns
• 66396 Tweets
Chiefs
• 64847 Tweets
Colapinto
• 62306 Tweets
Verstappen
• 59732 Tweets
Packers
• 59639 Tweets
Pedri
• 56024 Tweets
Vikings
• 52749 Tweets
Sevilla
• 46858 Tweets
Bruno Henrique
• 34550 Tweets
Rossi
• 33924 Tweets
49ers
• 33640 Tweets
Achilles
• 31569 Tweets
#GHDBT7
• 30568 Tweets
Daronco
• 29679 Tweets
Gerson
• 28878 Tweets
Wesley
• 20000 Tweets
Mahomes
• 19468 Tweets
Panthers
• 18599 Tweets
#AustinGP
• 15653 Tweets
Yuri Alberto
• 14091 Tweets
Pablo Torre
• 12550 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
"Conversion therapy". The only people who need it are the wankspangles who can't accept & love people exactly as they are, and need changing into decent human beings.
I could NEVER do that to a child of mine. Never. Their happiness is ALL that matters to me.
#LGBTQ
+
๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
18
22
171
So...my youngest, who struggled all the way through school, has passed all of her exams, and after 4 years of working & training as a geriatric care assistant, has been offered a place to study to become a geriatric care nurse. She wants to specialise in dementia care.
506
507
12K
Can someone explain to me why
@Keir_Starmer
is being subjected to more scrutiny in & by the press in his 1st week as PM (at which he's made a flying start!) than any of his...hang on...5 predecessors ever were during the 14 years they spent fucking absolutely everything up?๐คจ
702
1K
8K
Got this from my 84 year old mother in law today. Hope it makes you smile too....
239
946
8K
@sandyhook
Jesus Christ! I'm Scottish. We've had one school mass shooting, 23 years ago. 16 5 &6 yr olds were killed, along with their teacher. As a result private ownership of handguns was banned. It was that simple. That this film is necessary disgusts me.
123
476
7K
@NadineDorries
Says the woman who tried to get a radio host she didn't like fired, & now wants to sell off the only channel in the UK with sufficient independence to hold this govt's feet to the fire for their incompetence & corruption. He sets UK taxes, & his wife doesn't pay them.
It matters
11
215
3K
@DuBarryPie
@ProudResister
Jesus Christ! 4 years ago my 12 yo daughter complained of hip pain. Bottom line, a week in hospital, emergency surgery, screws in both hips, 3 months on crutches, daily injections, 3.5yrs of follow ups, 2nd op in Oct 2019 to remove screws. Cost...? 0$ Your medical system is crazy
30
162
3K
My lovely husband WhatsApqped me the other day to say that limes were on special offer at the cash 'carry, and did I want some?
"Yes please!" said I.
I love limes....
Anyone got any recipes for using up FOUR FUCKING KILOS of limes?
998
144
3K
Anyone else find it...odd that a story about a front bench minister watching porn in the HoC should break on the very same day that the govt are found guilty in court of, effectively, murderous negligence in the way they filled care homes with Corona patients, or is it just me?๐ค
126
803
2K
@DuBarryPie
@ProudResister
To have to go through the unimaginable pain of losing a child, AND then be effectively mugged by various hospitals, doctors & insurance companies is inhuman! I'm so very sorry for your loss.x
8
83
2K
@PhilippaVereker
@TulipSiddiq
@trussliz
@BorisJohnson
Johnson, just pay the damn money Britain owes! It's not a ransom, it's a debt! If it helps, get them to sign a docket for some PPE that'll never arrive. You had no problems dishing out millions to mates for precisely that last year. ๐ก
33
222
2K
@DeborahMeaden
I said goodbye to my dad via smartphone. He was past knowing I was there, I think. I would give everything I have to go back and hold his hand. So no. Fuck "moving on"!
72
108
2K
Today is a shameful day in British history. Utterly, utterly shameful.
324
164
2K
@TheFreds
Tell me something. At the height of the AIDS crisis, how did you feel about condoms?
42
68
2K
Dear all, I see
@BorisJohnson
and his chums at
@DailyMailUK
are currently pushing some ridiculous wank about burning your Christmas trees in your own hearth.
Let me give you some advice. Don't!
Burn it in the garden, if you must, but pine trees are full of resin. They take...
59
253
1K
@DeborahMeaden
To add insult to injury he had a shitty little funeral and no wake. He was one of 12! Two of his brothers came. His best friend sent a video message.
It SHOULD have been a celebration of what an amazing man he was. It SHOULD have been a party. It fucking wasn't.
#NotMovingOn
33
63
1K
Can we get one thing straight
@DailyMailUK
a big ask, I know, but...
The placing of a tracheostomy is done very carefully, by a skilled team, and does NOT involve "punching a hole" in anyone's throat, especially not someone not even requiring CPAP! Now fuck off with this BS!
33
335
1K
Dear 68 year old women, can you PLEASE stop reinventing the fucking bra and trying to flog your Front-Fastening masterpiece on T(w)itter?! Seriously, go you and all that, but so far about 3000 of you have popped up in my TL and it's getting bloody boring!
180
92
1K
@SimonScarrow
@baratheongirl
I think they'll leave it as late as they can get away with to give themselves more time to inflict more damage on the country, thus making the recovery as difficult as possible for the incoming Labour govt. Imagine if Ireland decided to reunite under a Labour govt...๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ
42
121
1K
@Depheruk
Also this...not entirely true. There are those who need charities. But the government hasn't outsourced their responsibility for looking after those most in need to them
14
129
1K
@DPJHodges
The optics aren't great. Bloke who criticises govt policy for using language reminiscent of 1930s Germany (true), is taken off air by the state broadcaster, currently headed by the guy who fixed an ยฃ800,000 loan for said govt's disgraced former poster boy.
12
183
1K
@jimmykimmel
@BarackObama
@realDonaldTrump
Anyone else struck by the fact Obama made his matter-of-fact statement apparently in a hallway, no frou-frou, no fanfare, whereas trump needs more flags and banners than a boyscout jamboree to bolster his fragile ego, whilst talking like a six year old on a sugar high?
19
49
909
In light of
@RishiSunak
doing as little as possible to help Britain's poorest today, I'll just leave this here.
Reminded of it by
@mrjamesob
today
14
461
939
@i_iratus
What the everlasting fuck is "ethnically British"? Britain is an Island of, pardon the term, mongrels. Bit of Roman, bit of French, bit of Viking, bit of Celt, bit of Pict...& the rest. People have settled in Britain for millennia from all over the world. "Ethnically British " ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
52
93
970
"That's my life now..." I shot this off earlier without really appreciating the enormity of it. The rest of my life, the rest of the lives of tens, hundreds, of thousands of people in the UK and beyond, will be lived wondering if those we loved and lost during
@BorisJohnson
's..
@suzeb57
@jacquep
I don't blame myself, exactly. I just feel so unbelievably dreadful that I wasn't there for him. It really haunts me. Did he think I didn't care, or wasn't trying? Did he even know? That's my life now. That's the life of 1000s of people who are expected to take Johnson again! No!
12
53
386
25
223
920
@MendelsonImages
Never, EVER underestimate grannies in improbably big coats. They're hiding superpowers under all that insulation.
8
28
893
@Haggis_UK
I'm not an expert but I ama mum who can spot a fib a mile off, & it's interesting to watch his blink rate shoot up at the mention of Lebedev, his eyes closing both times he says "no", the fidgeting & avoidance of eye contact after that. Mum verdict: guilty wee shite.
28
74
824
Bizarrely there are people actually having a dig at Keir Starmer for having the nouse to check the weather forecast and bring a Team GB cagoule to the OC, instead of using a horrible, throwaway plastic poncho! Seriously???
29
21
844
@stephenjubb1
@AngelaRayner
Given how many single mothers your boy Johnson is personally responsible for having created, I'd wind my neck in if I were you.
8
17
797
@genwilliams
@markdavyd
@NadineDorries
What do they think will happen to the economy when all of these pubs, clubs small & medium businesses go to the wall, with the attendant rise in unemployment, as people already cut back on spending? The lack of urgency from govt on this crisis beggars belief!
36
114
795
@mrjamesob
Watching Starmer put together a team of people best qualified to serve the people of Britain, and the emphasis is on "serve", is a thing of beauty. Timpson was a stroke of pure genius.
14
58
790
@pjth10
@janetm50723412
@BBCPolitics
@BBCNews
@metpoliceuk
How come they can hear Steve, but can't hear an illegal Abba party in full swing going on literally 6 feet above their bloody heads?
7
86
758
@MarcusRashford
@England
As a Scottish mum, whose natural skin colour isn't even white, it's sort of pale blue, I just want to give you and ALL of your teammates & GS a great big cuddle. You've been outstanding, on and off the pitch. If you know your mums are proud of you, well... nothing else matters.
4
31
687
Every single word of this. It was never, ever just about cake, cheese, wine or fucking tinsel...
8
268
665
...forever to season, and even then they still produce horribly gunky, sticky soot which will goo up your chimney and hugely increase your risk of a chimney fire. Pine makes shit firewood, but great tables, so give it to IKEA. The end.
9
45
638
Fuck, fuck and fuck again. Just heard that a friend, who seemed to have everything to live for, has taken his own life. I'm gutted. I've been there. It's NEVER, EVER that bad. If it feels like it is, please talk to someone! Me, if you've no-one else. Fuck.
97
91
624
So, I'm guessing every civil servant in the country that doesn't already have one, is busy on Amazon, ordering themselves a rainbow lanyard, express delivery.
57
69
643
@jacquep
No. I fucking didn't. My kids didn't say a last goodbye to their grandad. Only 2 of my dad's siblings came to his funeral, out of 10 who could have, under normal circumstances. He had no wake. Neither did my uncle. His widow worried herself sick about spending her 1st Christmas..
11
50
605
My baby, 19, came home last night with a teeth-shaped bruise on her face.
"The fuck?!!!"
Some guy in a club, 35, kept hitting on her, trying to kiss her on the mouth. She'd clocked the wedding ring, but he was "what she doesn't know about doesn't count".
She told him to fuck off.
73
58
609
Persisting when you've been pied isn't gallant. It isn't cute. It isn't funny. It isn't sexy. It isn't WANTED! It isn't being "an alpha male", it's being a cunt.
It's creepy and totally out of order.
If she says no, take the hint and fuck off!
Rant over. As you were.
6
18
586
Ok, if I tell you that I've seen this behaviour before, it probably tells you quite a lot about my somewhat adventurous youth, no?
116
147
579
@PublicPriestley
I've said it all along. If he faced a serious threat of being booted, he'd call the GE out of pure spite, knowing how many face losing their seats.
7
39
572
@andrewmeyerson
My dad spent 6 weeks on ICU. His doctors came from all over the world. The nurses who washed him, shaved him, wiped his bottom came from all over the world. His physios, his nursing assistants. Every single one of them were beautiful, kind, loving people. Thank you so much x
8
19
528
@mikegalsworthy
On my dad's 70th he was in a coma, intubated, ventilated and not expected to survive. He was so ill, I was allowed in to see him. His son wasn't. His partner wasn't. Just one visitor allowed. I took cake for the nurses, because it was his birthday. It was his last.
24
82
519
@NadineDorries
That's called "spreading misinformation", and coming from the woman who wants to make Britain's internet "the safest internet in the world", it's utterly unacceptable.
2
35
506
@MarinaPurkiss
Jesus wept! Like being told your syphilis has cleared up, but now you have gonorrhea.
12
32
492
@MrHarryCole
Really? Gosh. It's almost as though all the "Brexit benefits" we warned you about, and you chose to dismiss as "project fear" are coming home to roost. Hope you aren't taking any gear with you, 'cos you'll need a carnet ata for that, and they're ยฃ300 + VAT & security fee.
8
31
477
@jules_su
@tonyposnanski
For comparison....this photo of Obama meeting families of Sandy Hook victims. This photo released by the family themselves.
15
69
446
@archer_rs
I mean, if I was organising my daughter's wedding, I would invite the groom's longest standing ex!
3
15
468
I'd just like to thank
@IsabelOakeshott
and
@TiceRichard
, two bloody horrible human beings, for getting their panties in a bunch about a soap company not being complete **nts. If they hadn't I wouldn't be able to share this lovely image.
@LushLtd
well done! ๐๐๐๐๐
17
189
458
He didn't want to hear that. Kept trying. Every time he got near she turned away from him.
HE BIT HER FUCKING FACE!!!!
I am proud and delighted to say she fucking skelped him one!
I hope she left him with a bruise he has to explain to his wife!
I'd have put him in A&E.
8
10
466
I had a suspicion this morning's open rant was going to be epic, but 34 minutes of
@mrjamesob
forensically shredding Johnson's resignation whinge is one for the Greatest Hits collection. About to hit the 3rd break and still not taken a call....๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
23
60
456
@JohninBucuresti
@LBC
@mrjamesob
Oh, those ads really piss me off. My particular "favourite" is the one that tells you to "turn down the heating in rooms you're not using". How many rooms do they think the average home has?! We don't all have boot rooms, games rooms, 7 extra bedrooms and a sodding library!
20
50
441
Apologies for all of the "f-bombs" but I'm still shaking with rage. I'd give everything I have for 5 minutes with that fella in a room with no windows and no CCTV.
23
3
434
I'm still shaking with anger. I want to cry. I'm a mum. I cannot imagine the agony of having a child of mine murdered. To then have to witness the PM, the leader of my country, make a crass remark about the social group my murdered child belonged to, I can't. I just can't.
27
126
433
@mrjamesob
Why this obsession with Rwanda, of all places? Where's the money and who's trousering it? There's something deeply, deeply suspect about the whole thing.
28
38
434
@amandajplatell
@BorisJohnson
How do I "move on" from this? How do I "move on" from not being able to give my darling dad the funeral he had earned, with his family and friends able to say a long goodbye, with drinks and food, stories, jokes, his favourite music? We were 15 & no hymns...while Johnson partied
10
47
421
Thankfully she was with friends. They piled in around her. Protected her. Got her home. She's shocked, angry and frankly bewildered. I'm fucking furious!
Her gf obviously offered lots of comfort, if the hickies are anything to go by.
Lads, NO MEANS NO...
7
8
398
@suzeb57
@jacquep
I don't blame myself, exactly. I just feel so unbelievably dreadful that I wasn't there for him. It really haunts me. Did he think I didn't care, or wasn't trying? Did he even know? That's my life now. That's the life of 1000s of people who are expected to take Johnson again! No!
12
53
386
@adamsonjon
Oh, ffs! Seriously? I was a nanny when the now discredited MMR scare broke back in the early 90s. The damage Andrew Wakefield and subsequent anti-vax have done is just horrendous! Measles can be a killer!
9
6
385
@MrJohnNicolson
Thank you. Misconduct in public office has been tolerated for quite long enough.
1
27
376
@Moongirl7117
@nicki_weston
@BriteRedOctober
@DuBarryPie
@ProudResister
Why ANYONE would want to be a doctor in USA is beyond me. You take an oath to "do no harm", then turn away sick children because they have the wrong insurance. Absolutely disgusting!
8
26
356
German hubby just made me spit my G&T. Discussing Tories we'd like to never see again, Rees-Mogg came top of his list. We got to wondering how that could have fathered 6 or 7 kids..."But it's like that wobbly,scruffy cunt, Bozo! What woman looks at that & drops her drawers?!"...
32
25
366
@Paul_pawpaw
Pile on if you feel you must, but that child's family allowed this. Nothing about the media circus they've stirred up around the tragic loss of their beautiful wee boy sits easily with me. Nothing.
10
4
360
What the fuck has happened to Britain when someone can say something as disgusting as this, something so rank even JH-B rails against it, and remain a political candidate?!!!! Jesus Christ!
Someone pinch me, Julia Hartley Brewer has said something sensible ๐ฒ
JHB, "You would leave asylum seekers to drown in the channel?"
Ben Habib, "Absolutely"
JHB, "That is not a policy that a civilised country should endorse"
BH, "Why is that uncivilised?"
JHB, "Because we
1K
2K
9K
35
166
360
@mrjamesob
putting it in the back of the net....again.
"It's, I'm afraid, absolutely bonkersโฆ"
@mrjamesob
reacts to Liz Truss alleging that transgender activists in the civil service 'sabotaged her leadership', while she was in Washington speaking alongside Donald Trump.
131
592
2K
8
81
365
@rhipratchett
Oh, I hope you did! Been a huge fan for over 30 years. Your dad, via his books, particularly the Witches, pulled, pushed, cajoled and enticed me through my darkest times, reminded me that I'm stronger than I ever suspected I'd need to be. If you did, I bet you made her day. X
3
1
363
@AndyShepp_rd
@DPJHodges
FFS! I have been saying this since June! Truss was put in place precisely to be such an absolute skip-fire the return of the shag-happy yeti would be seen as welcome!
17
16
350
@RealSaavedra
@DebbieJuneToo1
Gosh! For a woman so sensitive about "false statements", she sure picked a strange husband.
58
12
296
@marksporter
@skynewsniall
I was very, very fortunate that when my dad was at death's door in October, I was able to visit & hold his hand. After he died I saw him I was wearing a mask, and bizarrely so was he! I could only touch him over the blanket, and couldn't give him a last hug. I hear you x
6
15
347
If you haven't seen the video of the fun & games being had in Downing Street at Christmas, the Christmas where YOU couldn't see your mum, or cuddle your grandchildren, I suggest you watch it. And if you can still vote Tory after that, I'm sorry but you're a cvnt.
14
50
346
@pritipatel
Evil witch. This is glorified people trafficking. And no, we haven't forgotten that the PM is a criminal facing more charges.
6
20
344
@jessphillips
Can you get a sneaky video out. Having a lousy evening and could do with cheering up.
4
7
345
@thatginamiller
@FT
If he'd grabbed my boobs it'd be the last time he'd need a dentist....
14
17
342
@kylegriffin1
@MandaScott
Outgoing presidents should not be allowed to make appointments or executive decisions during interregnum without the cooperation & consent of incoming parties. They should be purely ornamental.
6
11
311
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
No, they shouldn't. Nobody knows that more than they do. So isn't it utterly shameful that after 13 years of Tory they feel that they have no other option?
0
14
346
@PippaCrerar
@horton_official
This is the sector I work in Pippa. Solar farms on conventional arable land (agrisolar or agrivoltaics) is the way forward everywhere but the UK... it's insane.
7
70
340
@AdamButters3
@NIKIT101
@jk_rowling
No. Grammar and spelling are ALWAYS important. We all make the odd typo/ spelling mistake, and the world keeps turning, but when you can't put a coherent sentence together, either written or verbal, you look like donald trump.
14
10
321
@in_bloke
It's not "many women", it's all of us. At some point or another every single woman you know will have quickened her pace, ducked into a shop, grabbed the keys in her pocket, pretended to phone a friend. Every. Single. One. We know it's not "all men", but we don't know which men.
9
14
323
@Nigelrefowens
The bible also says you shouldn't wear mixed fabrics, and I will literally be damned if I'm giving up my new wool-mix Winter coat or jeans! Burn it, Nigel. Burn it & move on. People like this are clearly so unhappy in themselves they want to make others miserable. Don't let them.
4
9
318
@BowenBBC
@leedurant
@ProducerKathy
We say "no parent should have to bury their child", but this poor woman burying her only son in the garden with her bare hands... it's beyond unspeakable.
0
19
308
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg
Oh yeah, because when the average earner is wondering how the f*ck they're going to feed their kids, heat the house AND pay the rent, what Britain really needs is more housing stock being bought up "cheaply" by the very wealthy who will then rent it out for an exorbitant sum.
4
17
283
@campbellclaret
@BBCSteveR
Doesn't "do news", but does "do" the paid stuff like HIGNFY, or buggering off to Australia to make an appearance on I'm A Celebrity (you're, really, really not love!) in her constituents' time? I see......
2
46
285
@DominicRaab
@Telegraph
If there's one thing I hate more than a bully, it's a bully that starts greetin' to all and sundry about how unfair it is when someone who's not afraid of them turns round and smacks them in the dish.
You brought this on yourself. Suck it up.
2
16
286
@MrHarryCole
If he got curry for 30 people, AND beers, for ยฃ200 I definitely want him as next PM! Clearly knows a bit about getting a proper bargain, and not someone who'll spaff billions up the wall on shite and stuff that never appears. Go Keir!
#DontVoteConservative
5
27
281
@jules_su
@tonyposnanski
What I love about this is that, while these tiny tots had had their world turned upside down, here's someone who has made them smile, laugh. Made them put the heartache to one side. Cuddled them like a dad. These kids obviously feel comfortable, happy, if somewhat overawed
6
14
250
@EmmaKennedy
Yep. There are quite stringent laws in the EU about just rocking up and telling your staff to fuck off, then replacing them with cheaper people.
5
18
272
@chrisgreybrexit
What an incredible life! I'm glad you told his story. And I'm so bloody tired of what an inward-looking, xenophobic, spiteful, nasty place Britain has been turned into, or at least is managing to get itself portrayed as being. It's the anathema of what "British" should/used to be
5
21
267
@SallyAnn1066
@mikegalsworthy
Forgive me for asking, but how did you vote, what, a fortnight ago, in the vote of no confidence? Johnson hasn't changed. Not in 20 years. So please, explain your change of heart....
5
15
267
@SI6266
This is clearly a couple. The only person anywhere near them needn't be. Perhaps they live locally. Perhaps they have no garden. Perhaps this is the first fresh air they've had all week. Some pictures tell you bugger all....
17
9
254
Oh God...just caught
@mrjamesob
giving his take on Agent Orange's latest, most desperately pathetic money-making wheeze during my lunch break. Now I have pot noodle coming out of my nose....๐๐๐๐๐๐
16
14
269
@Whit_Llandaff
It looks ridiculous and effectively creates a desert environment for wildlife. It doesn't drain well, and will eventually break down into microplastic. It's a dreadful solution.
0
11
268
@ladylilo2
How very odd
Just back from France, and live in Germany, and have seen absolutely no sign of staff shortages of which you speak. Far from it. Are you sure you're in France dear, not Folkestone?
4
23
261
@Con_Tomlinson
@calvinrobinson
Says someone literally craving attention on social media.....
0
6
265
@LBC
@SangitaMyska
I bet that caller is just fine with American born Johnson, of German, French & Turkish descent.
7
10
260