#REJECTFINANCEBILL2024
@serut101
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Don't fight fair, you'll never win. #YNWA
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Joined January 2011
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Laundry isn't the only thing coming out of your closet
If my wife can't do my laundry then I'd rather marry a fellow man. Because then we'd have a lot of interesting things to talk about like football etc
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Today I am sad, I have lost the man who made me who I am today. Rest well dad. I love you, keep watching over me.
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Just remembered that Raila swore himself in as president. Kenya has been wild for a long time 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Mostly arises if the relationship isn't defined. If we're exclusive ata wiki moja nadoze huko. Mtanipata base ya mutura na sweatpants zimeandikwa 'juicy' kwa haga.
It's not exactly a red flag, but dudes who say they can't sleep over at a woman's house are just not my people.
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Stay guided
With a salary of 6k per month, where can you stay in Nairobi?.
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Please don't attend the funeral.
Received with sadness the death of the Mayor of Mogadishu, Abdirahman Omar Osman, who has succumbed to injuries inflicted on him during a terror attack in his office last week. Mayor Osman was a close friend who was determined to restore peace in Mogadishu and Somalia in general.
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Uhuru lazima alikuwa mnoma sana 3 sticks juu kazi tu ni kuextend
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Petrol station attendant: Ati niongeze nini?
Me: PUMSSSSS
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I just met my daughter, can't wait to love her for the rest of my life ❤
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Hey guys, so a lot of you don’t know me but I’m here requesting your help today. My father’s name is John Serut and he’s been unwell for a while now. He was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in January of 2020. Since then, we’ve had medical bills totaling to about 20 million.
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Ukifika VIP pale club Timba eldoret upate mandume tisa na madame wawili wamezunguka KC moja
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Guys let's amplify this
#FINDBEASLEY
Has anyone seen Beasley Kamau.
We have tried reaching him but we can't find him.
Kindly dm me if you have any information on his whereabouts.
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Lakini ukiangalia poa ata People Daily hupeanwa kwa watu wako kwa gari pekoe. Kama unatembea labda you just read the room.
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The guy you need to get yourself a reservation at giraffe manor
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Lol coming for my sister
@MishSerut
because she asked someone to verify claims he made on twitter? It's cool, get your likes my people
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Hey guys, my dad needs blood again. Y’all have really been coming through for me and I need you to come through again.
Patient: John Serut
Hospital: Nairobi hospital
Blood type: O-
Contact: 0702553953 ( Michelle)
Please retweet widely.
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Posting this everywhere coz it's just a really nice photo
Me na mans wangu 😊
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Msee amecome na konyagi Kwa BYOB alafu anakunywa Glen Kwa bash:
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Jidinye btw
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It's been a year now, still a bit lost without you, still a bit bitter that you went when you went, still grateful for who you were and grateful for who I am because of you.
Fly on 🕊️
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I'd be very disappointed if Buddhists don't start their prayers with 'Buddha boss'
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We laid the mandem to rest jana. I will really miss this guy. Rest easy my G.
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Happy 67th to the mandem! Thanks for being an amazing dad!
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Haikosi ilikuwa inaringia wenzake venye insisting soft life
Hii ujinga imekuwa ikinikulia mayai ya kuku for like a month now.. But finally nimeiwahi
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We tend to expect our friends to be there for us in the ways we perceive we were there for them. This is setting yourself up for disappointment.
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Me: Please pass me the salt
Her: Naona hawa madame wako wengine wanajaza chumvi wakikupikia
Me:
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Happy birthday to the mandem. I really miss you man.
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Where I'd rather be, I really miss the mandem today.
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Happy birthday
@MishSerut
thank you for growing up fast and still being a baby at the same time. May the best of your today's be the worst of your tomorrow's. I love you toto
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Boss toa hizi vitu fake hapa. Hata hujui 12th July ni Friday? Tumia akili kidogo tu
The leaderless group has an assembly...if you are not invited here, you simply do not matter in the movement
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You will forever be known as the CJ who watched as Kenyans were abducted and killed. You can keep your statement
Statement on Allegations of Abductions of Protesters and the Rights of Arrested Persons
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Where I'd rather be right now. Happy birthday to my guy. Pewa Fanta mbili Kwa bill yangu, nitalipa tukipatana 🕊️
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Multiple myeloma is a type of blood cancer that affects multiple organs eg the kidneys, bones and liver. So far, we’ve handled this as a family but we’re now reaching out to you for help.
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I think we can universally agree that pawpaws are a trash fruit. However, the worst thing about pawpaws is how they masquerade as mangoes in a fruit salad. Not cool.
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On a bus
White person: Stand up
Rosa Parks: I am not getting off this chair
White person:
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If it was me in Usher's position
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Hii ni kama kusema kamande ni better than njahi. Doesn't really count.
Andrew Kibe is better than Amerix. Always has been, Always will be.
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Mkiwa mnachangia mzinga alafu mans aseme yeye hukunywa tusker cider pekee
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Our most recent bill was slightly over five million and we need the amount on top to cater for an insurance cover as we have exhausted the existing one due to bills amounting to 14 million this year alone. Below is the link. Please retweet widely. Thanks in advance
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Hear me out, Shazam but for picking up other people's traumas
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Mr Steal your girl hapa
Happy birthday to me ☺️☺️☺️
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My boss bought my significant other and I this notebook coz she knows we are expecting a child soon. She is honestly such a wonderful boss and human being.
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Don't be ashamed. A world exists where we
#REJECTFINANCEBILL2024
and still chase the bag. All the best to you.
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Me and my boy at 61 pale waterfront when the beat drops
I get surprised kuona wamama na wababa wa 25 years and above wakienda concerts ...juu kwani mlikua mnafanya nini at age 19-24? Mlikua mnadoo?
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Possibly the best photo ever taken in the history of photos. I love you
@MishSerut
I'm the luckiest big brother in the world
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Just coz nafanya kazi finance it doesn't mean nina pesa mingi 😔
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Unapewa last chance na mtu ID yake inaanza na 40
Getting stressed by a girl born in the 2000s is crazy.
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It's the 'n' from the people who say 'Gong' road
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Mshawai kuwa coitus alafu you reach your destination but your significant other was close but didn't quite make it, hapo ndio unaendesha gari na flat tyre afike pia yeye. Common courtesy 😊
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She paid for my haircut, now let me go show her how it looks between her thighs 😉
Moses as always came thru with that fresh fade! Oh and he does house calls...halla at him on 0743687254
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Hii silhouette challenge kama sio autocorrect sijui kama mngekuwa mnaiongelea
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If you black out at a house party, I make sure I cover you.
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@_CrazyNairobian
Full marks for creativity. You're a fool, I weep for your family. Hii ujinga yako ni ya kuzaliwa
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House party ilikuwa Na entrance fee? Considering she doesn't do free events
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All this time I thought kuanza 1-0 Ni kunyonga before mechi
Yes but under 3 circumstances. Listed below.
1. The kid’s father is dead. - if anaishi high chances utakuliwa bibi bro.
2. Age of the kid. - the younger the better.
3. Nijikute
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Original Whirlpool single door refrigerator.
Comes with egg tray & two ice cube trays. Has a 12 hour cooling retention. Also has a defrost function to melt any frost build up.
Height: 113cm Width: 52cm
Purchased new September 2019
1year warranty expired.
Asking price- Ksh 25,000
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Ukiwa na chai moto sana just hope it rains coz when it rains it poaz
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Happy birthday mummy dearest! You are a blessing in my life.
Nakupenda zaidi!
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It's been a tough year, we can all attest to that. I don't think I've cried more in any other year. But right now it all seems like a distant memory, right now, at this very moment, I am happy 😊 ☺ 😀
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Met a guy named Karani over the weekend and I'll be really disappointed if he doesn't refer to his family as 'The secretariat"
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