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@MediaMK
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Les chiens aboient, La caravane passe | Communication Solutions Expert | VP | Retweets are not endorsements
Nairobi
Joined September 2009
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Which PR agency handles Tatu City? I wanna buy them donuts (Nick donuts) that unveil of Wamatangi and his CEC looked like a scene out of Parks and Recs 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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DCI has placed a full page of 'Wanted Suspects' in the papers, and wants our help in FINDING THEM ... but when they want to arrest someone for telling a Senate Member to use their brain, they do it without involving us.
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In Rwanda, Bodaboda are metered through one company. That meter also is GPS enabled and heavy fines are placed if riders are found to be operating with faulty or switched off meters.
We need that here, asap.
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Celebrate, hydrate, flex fingers and continue to fiiiinyaaaaa
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Good Morning
@kipmurkomen
so this expressway, price went up 'cause of the dollar kosokoso - so anyway, the situation has changed, when is that downward revision coming through?
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Yaani, the health CS has said nothing all day and WILL allow docs to sleep outside her HQ. Eh, EVIL, CLUELESS
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How will our friends at Kamiti, register for their SIM cards?
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Went to see Fairfield Estate in Syokimau. Super impressed whoa! Whoa!
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Why is 'Patient 1' (COVID 19) on a media tour in Kenya? ... other countries have registered re-infections! Why is she being allowed to prance around like she found gold at the end of the fucking rainbow!!? Get out of the ward AND INTO isolation
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When the president questioned the number of people reportedly dead from Githurai, he followed up with ‘where would you hide so many bodies’
Been on TikTok live huko Kware ,looks like its more than 15 bodies now ,sieeet and even walikua wanaweka two bodies kwa gunia moja 😭😭😭😭 ,seen a baby and mother in one sack 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Imagine, buying an apartment for over 20 Million Bob and now your balcony view is a Petrol station. Hectic
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hizi maswali za ‘una do nini hizi sides’ tuache 2019! Pls! Umalaya haina area code
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So, the cab guy who brought me home in the morning - I paid him 7,500 😭😭😭 I’m a generous drunk
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Also, these men who are saying they need to be cooked for sijui their clothes ironed.
You lack ambition.
Make enough money and hire a chef and several house managers. You and your queen should always feel like you’re in a hotel 24/7
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Six months of growing arabica grass in (hot hot) Machakos and it’s doing well so far
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So, Koroga is back in June <gather your coins, squad, mbogi, fam>
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Carrefour has teamed up with Jumia for home deliveries
GOD PLEASE TOUCH THIS PARTNERSHIP
'cause Jumia has done us dirty too many times
You might order nyanya and they deliver someone's cucu
PRISS
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If the sport’s ministry is re-doing the olympic ceremonial fits, then people need to go to jail for wasting public funds!
@AbabuNamwamba
- designers, et al ata wewe
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if we meet in a boardroom (and our previous interaction has been in a bar) please, you are meeting ME FOR THE FIRST time
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I wonder, hii Anti-Counterfeit agency ilikuwa wapi when KRA, KEBS etcetera were clearing the China Square goods at the port ... ama, these goods landed in Ruiru like Manna from Heaven?
Government seizes goods worth Ksh50 million at China Square
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Gin really does goes straight to the umalaya cells. Natuma wozaps kama wale watu wa UberEats ‘have you eaten here before?’
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Dear Uber Eats Kenya, we have rice at home.
Two emails per day, are unnecessary.
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The USA security teams must be wondering why Osama is trending in East Africa
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Anyway, lots and lots of you are in the Jada and Will situation ... ni venye tu mmoja wenyu ako clueless
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Kidero is rejecting votes - we can queue again and humiliate him a second time
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DCI placed a full colour newspaper page of screen grabs from parliament’s CCTV cameras 😂😂 the CS internal security and CS defence also LOUDLY said they saw the CCTV footage, then enter the clown force with this dubious Kelvin story
What was the actual state of the CCTVs on the day of the anti-Finance Bill protests?
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I never bother listening to voicemail in Kenya - all you hear is background noise and the occasional ‘ghai, amezima simu’ ‘ime enda voicemail’ ‘hiki hakishiki simu’
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I gave someone a lift and minutes later ... he was lecturing me ‘cause I told him I don’t have kids. He is 35 with three kids (and he wanted me to lend him 8K)
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This one is trying a Diamond with 13 bob to his name. Tiring
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Yenyewe growth is growth. Nilikuwa nakuja all the way to Karen for strokes 😂😂😂😂😂 foolishness
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I came to Tamasha for a haircut and the wash lady offered a massage. Heh, dagagio nginya daita ruta ta ngombe ya Guernsey. He na hado ahihinya hau mgongo dathituka dahuhuka dore imwe! Mwili haina adabu
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The man was recruiting via Wozap yesterday 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Statehouse propaganda these days falls apart within minutes
— They fronted a ‘nyanza youth alliance’ that was calling off maandamano - turns out the charlatan that signed off the statement works for the government spokesman 😂😂😂😂
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Have you ever noticed the Peugeot emblem has always been prepping to hit the sickest odi
#Peugeot3008
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Woke up to fantastic news, we won a business I have been eyeing for two years!!!!!
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I'm sure Obado's daughter has friends on this platform and they're probably on wozap groups dropping motivational nonsense like 'your enemies shall be defeated' and other morning TV inspirational preachings
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Just wrapped a call in Kikuyu and the Uber driver says to me
‘usifanye nianguke’
I ask him why
‘Nie direciria we mu nigeria’
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The Koroga Festival is back to Nairobi!!! 12th and 13th November!!!!!
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A lot of people will send their ‘manifesting/Universe align’ tweets after deals have been signed.
They’ll come back weeks later to retweet the ‘manifesting’ tweet to announce a deal.
So, don’t let those tweets make you think you’re doing life wrong. They’re staged
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Oh shit! The ICT hub in Ruiru is the new CCI HQ in Tatu City?
CCI? looooooooool
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A friend just dropped this for a lady in the office
What a cute name, and a cute brand story
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Suicide is not about giving up, it's seeking relief. It's not selfish, it's redemption.
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For the last six months, I’ve been the Project Manager on the first season of East Africa Got Talent.
Super proud of the amazing teams and sponsors that made this possible.
🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
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The Ivy and Julie conversation on Over 25 this week is beautiful.
Friendships are a journey - and it will not always be roses, but honesty and taking a break to talk it out is so so necessary
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Most Kilimani peeps would rather eat grass than give you way on the road - and they’re rushing to drink ice cold water x sugar syrup and 22 ML of a spirit in the name of happy hour at NewsCafe. Jiheshimu
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There is a generation of lazy lazy men in Nairobi who have refused to grow up
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My neighbour is really taking the pipe this afternoon. Her moans have fikad the ‘Wakería ni ngumía na Watiga ningúkua’ stage
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The current class of politicians is packed with demonic, greedy, fence sitters. Fuck
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There is a number I keep thinking about ‘12 billion shillings in 9 months for internal travel by Statehouse Nairobi’ that is a shit load of money, shouldn’t it somehow impacted the hospitality space positively??
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Anyway, you’re here looooudly ‘fighting’ for traditions - na salo ya wife ikichelewa karibu upate limonia. Broke ass traditionalists makachieth
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Who is in charge of street lighting in Nairobi? Driving between Karen, Ngong Road, Mbagathi Way, Langata Road, and then M Road after dark is very very scary.
(also, when did they stop marking bumps?) 'cause driving on unfamiliar roads at night is just vibes and inshallah
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If you have access to information that might derail the movement - SHARE IT - gatekeeping the names of those were paid earlier in the week led to this mess … calling them out would have wrecked STATE HOUSE plans.
PAZA SAUTI KWENYE MAOVU
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I say this often
Reach out to your friends
Hit them up with an occasional
‘Are you okay?’
Nairobi is a harsh city
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'mimi sitaki kunyimwa chai ya saa kumi state house'
As a responsible citizen, I have raised some issues on the Finance bill, especially touching on the creative economy. I have engaged both formally and informally and I am confident action will be taken. That said creatives are not opposed to paying taxes, we are just asking for
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Re: the disappearance of six minors
The math is not adding up, who is the adult who was hosting them for those 11 days. That is the person the focus should be on
Yes, truancy is also at play BUT WHO IS THE ADULT abetting it?
Mocking relatives for their worry is idiocy
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‘You’re in your 30’s, single and childless’ is not an insult in this economy - brethren
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Communication team has officially been thrown under the bus 💀
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Context: Lucy responded to a tweet asking for help ‘cause her kids only have one school uniform set. Instead, she didn’t get help, she was abused. Lucy’s number is 0718915672 I just sent her some cash, if you can - please do
Tetemesheni MPESA ya Lucy Gatimu. We can’t let an internet asshole win. Not today.
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😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 you guys are giving him a 10 year old car and
@IsuzuKenya
is giving him a brand new car from the showroom. Jiheshimu
And the
#NRGi8Challenge
is ON.. If we manage to get to 1 Million followers on Instagram by tomorrow morning at 9 am, this BEAUTIFUL baby, the BMW i8 will be delivered to
@EliudKipchoge
by
@ericomondi_
. Let's do this 💪🏽💪🏽.
#KipchogeRadio
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So first lady, second lady, third lady offices will no longer be funded in the new financial year? 😂😂 auditor general, over to you
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I've ordered a bunch of feminine products for the house 'cause I always have girls over and it never struck me, they might need them someday when they're around!
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Oil Libya Westlands has tooooooo many storos about Nairobi Night Life 😂😂😂😂😂😂 hands up, if you have never been there after the club
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Mau ni mabati mekeretwo nyumba ya mirioni naite? Kae mutare mutugo? Brare makoro ma duma, atunyani aya
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When a white person sends you an invite to a house party - kula kwako priss. Me, I cannot handle sijui olives na mahuti wa rugiri
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NTSA has ONE supplier producing metal number plates. That supplier has been unable to meet demand for the last six weeks / they’re blaming the cold front in Nairobi for the slow production (we dry number plates in the sun like maize)
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I want to gentrify Ndumas and open a restaurant (you eat off a shovel, sit on 3 legged stools and drink cocktails out of calabashes) then call the restaurant 'NyongYe More' and have quirky names for my Nduma meals like 'Shook me a Litu' 'Guitwo ruciini' and make loads of cash
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The concept of brunch in an enclosed space in sunny Nairobi is quite mediocre.
Brunch is supposed be airy and a certain lightness with alcohol (hence Mimosas and Prosecco) drinking cognac at 11 is alcoholism
My fav brunch spaces - Tribe Hotel, Hemingways and Radisson Blu
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This morning, Standard Group radio stations are only playing music. Their on-air presenters have started their strike. Haibo!
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Parents on the TL, how many ‘wacha’ ‘SHUKAAA’ ‘nitakuCHAPA’ ‘ZIMA’ ‘NO’ have you shouted today?
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I want to gentrify Ndumas and open a restaurant (you eat off a shovel, sit on 3 legged stools and drink cocktails out of calabashes) then call the restaurant 'Nyongah More' and have quirky names for my Nduma meals like 'Shook me a Litu' 'Guitwo ruciini'
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We don’t have a fuel shortage, what we have a broke government that is defaulting on payments (and now resorting to bullying OMCs)
That should be the headline, everything else is potpourri
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Haiya!!! HBR has been bought by Radio Africa?!!
So I guess Kiss will also share their flashdisk with 100 songs
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It’s quite telling, the president’s advisors chose an alcoholic to moderate a sober discussion with the populace.
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You can ask you buddies at StateHouse, tutigithie goma
Someone... anyone... please tell me what was going on in Zimmerman and Mirema last night.
Call in on +254711046105 or reply to this. Requesting for information tafadhali.....
#MainaAndKingangi
@Classic105Kenya
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You’ve created a whole brand around ‘personal finance’ but speaking on punitive tax proposals is where you draw the line? Okay
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Disney has trademarked 'Hakuna Matata'
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WHO MADE THIS?!!!!
I WANT MORE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Fuck!!!!! I can’t stop laughing hahahahahahahahaha
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Kenya Originals are launching four new locally made gin brands. They will be available from next week
Classic
Tambuzi (Rose and Cucumber)
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Spiced Orange
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Huyo ako na heels ... mwambie siwezi shindwa kuhesabu misumare hardware 😍😍😍
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The cake says. Joyce
We take pride in creating delightful and memorable experiences for all our guests. This week, we celebrate with our young guest flying to London on KQ 100. Happy birthday Walter !🎂🎂🎂 it was a pleasure having you on board The Pride Of Africa.
#MyKQMoment
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That relationship is holding you back from so much … and you know it, dump them!!
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I have never worked in gava, so please indulge me - WHY are all these counties going abroad for all these training sessions? So what, does The Kenya School of Government, with six campuses across Kenya - do?
They even have online courses!
In FY 2023/2024, Nakuru Governor & MCAs spent Ksh 47.81M on foreign travel
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every quarter, I host ‘drink talk learn’ at home. Q1 session (late) is now in session
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Glad to hear Talia Oyando is moving to Radio Jambo 7-9pm Weekdays for a Reggae Show. If you are old as I am. You would know Talia as the ‘Night Nurse’ on Nation FM in the early 2000’s. Ital Talia! MO FAAYA!!!!
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