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@scott_almhjell
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Fuck around and find out 💅🏻
The older I get the more I side with the witches from fairy tales who moved out to the woods and killed someone who bothered them.
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@rebmasel
“Pain is weakness leaving the body” said my (ex) doctor regarding my sciatica, now I have Cauda Equina Syndrome (it’s not great!) womp womp
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Done playing with this HOA. Leave a bin on the sidewalk, you’re getting a note. This shit? Y’all towed my truck, from an actual parking spot, but let hillbilly boy park wherever he wants like this all the time? Hope you enjoyed your time because it ends now you fucks
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@rebmasel
Wild how little is known about the massive 2010 DuPuy hip implant recall too. That’s my twice replaced left hip. It’s ceramic now, light lavender 💅
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Six fucking years of this shit stopped dead in its tracks by a cup of goddamn weed coffee lol. Six fucking years of shoulder shrugs about why. Rawdogging shitty sleep because fuck meds. Jesus fucking Christ I don’t dread going to sleep anymore
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We saw an elderly dude laying on sidewalk, wheeled around to park, and by that time another vehicle had stopped. We got him on his feet, gave him some water, and thankfully the dude that stopped spoke Spanish (yay north Phoenix) and we found out he lived close
Couple things:
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*blows nose*
I felt like giving up today and then I realized it runs in the family.
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Reya update: had her one week now. She’s finding her voice and has started to bark. Good girl. Previously had a shock collar. Yeah. Anyway. She also snores, ditched the crate for bedtime, and she’s been sleeping with us now. She loves to play and cuddle and lick my face all over
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Fuck, and I mean this with the utmost contempt I’m physically capable of mustering, you. In case you’re confused, again, fuck you
Dealing with chronic pain? Prioritize your mental health with:
-Psychotherapy
-Psychiatric care
-Peer support
-Meditation & mindfulness
-Stress reduction techniques
Discover support and strategies here:
#ChronicPain
#MentalHealth
#SelfCare
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@AshleyGWinter
The amount of dudes in my spinal cord injury groups that think women get aroused from using a catheter… incredible stuff
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The young man at the tire shop today didn’t believe me when I told him I was mounting and balancing tires when I was nine years of age, hell the look on his face at the “pumping gas” comment... Full serve is long gone amigo. Anyway, who knows what this is used for?
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I mean Desert Storm is right there, how the myth of the mighty Russian equipment survived that is beyond me
....almost everything in our arsenal was designed to kill the Soviets pushing through the Fulda Gap. Functionally VERY VERY little is *new* since then. It's almost all just improvements on what we already had.
And brother: we are REALLLLLY good at killing Soviet & Russian shit.
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Adrian, in the white truck (nice), thanks for pulling over man. I could not have done it without you. You’re a real one
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A year ago I had no feeling below the waist, no future, no girl, no dog, no hope really. No regrets, I’ve had a good run. Great really. Then a girl drove up to Globe AZ to meet me and well… still no feeling below the waist but I’ll be damned if she don’t still love me anyway
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Despite the tooth pain, today has low key been one of the best birthdays ever. Noice and chill
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Walter White driving an Aztek fueled his rage more than anything imo
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@JAHattaway
Oh I know, my nail lady took hers on and is currently pushing their shit in with the help of the AG. I’m just going to call out the double standards and shine the light on some of these cockroaches. I hear you and I appreciate you 🙏🏻
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The other dude went ahead to find man’s apt and family, I’m good at holding, don’t move real quick still. Couple dudes get off work walk up and notice, who’s this white boy standing there with him… they knew him, other guy found the family, was able to pass everyone off
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I was happy to see a pig drive by and not stop. By the time we got him on his feet, another vehicle had stopped. She wanted to call 911, old boy didn’t, and I said fire not police if you do please
He was dressed really nice. Coat and tie, Sunday best
One more thing:
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I’m begging, with tears in my eyes, advertisers please for the love of good stop using doorbells in your stupid ads. Assholes
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You kept this dog in a (too large) crate, in the garage, with a shock collar. With Trazodone
You stupid bitch I can pet a fucking javelina. After 10 minutes with you, we can see why she was neurotic. Telling the rescue place she was being abused… oh honey, you done fucked up
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40 kids crammed in a portable with Mr. Halbert’s halitosis. Good times
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@jonesjeffre
It’s personal, I’ve got the time, inclination, and unbridled rage for the job my good man. We’re sending it
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Parking in a fire lane now because fuck everyone I do what I want
Done playing with this HOA. Leave a bin on the sidewalk, you’re getting a note. This shit? Y’all towed my truck, from an actual parking spot, but let hillbilly boy park wherever he wants like this all the time? Hope you enjoyed your time because it ends now you fucks
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@hilaryagro
I visited Vietnam and Thailand and desperately wanted to visit Cambodia and Laos. I was in awe of this wreckage of a B-52 in a pond in Hanoi, the Vietnamese were some of the kindest most gracious people I’ve ever met
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I’m glad you’re alive. Happy birthday to the pep in my step, the apple of my eye, the girl who saw me, and I see you. To the most special gal a guy could have, here’s to so many more trips around the sun and everywhere else our hearts desire. All of my love, to you 😌
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I was heavily recruited in the military. They knew I had what it takes.
I was heavily recruited in the military. They knew I had what it takes.
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And we all met on this hellsite lol
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Don’t fall asleep on guard duty and don’t ratfuck the MREs, don’t matter who you love
I remember being assigned, as a Cpl, to babysit a Pvt being separated for (intentionally) coming out as a lesbian.
I’m glad I don’t have to be embarrassed about it, bc I wasn’t an ass to her about it. She even chipped in for beer runs on weekends, which is what really counts.
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Really proud of my girl, the last 11 months have been a helluva ride lol. On the 3rd “date” pretty much never left. Lost her sweet girl Chloe and found her new girl Reya. Lost 40 pounds with zero effort. Me too! Got a new knee. Celebrated her bday at her favorite spot… ❤️
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Son of a bitches
DHS bulldozed thousands of saguaros & other native cacti to build the border wall.
In an effort to deflect from severe public outcry, they transplanted a few and wrote a congratulatory press release calling themselves conservationists.
The fate of the transplanted saguaros:
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Serious question for the boomers. Why do you hate water? Dead ass serious. My dad never drinks water. I’ve asked quite a few of you, and the answer is always the same: it’s disgusting
Water is disgusting… water. WATER!
What is wrong with you?
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That time a customer was verbally abusive to me, found out who I was, apologized and said, and I quote, “I thought you were just the cashier”. To which I replied, I am, and I’m also the owner. Walked him off my property while he was trying to “apologize”. Lol fuck off devil
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@CovidSafSoCal
@rebmasel
Aw jeez your poor mom, my goodness. My surgeon wouldn’t replace my hip until I got clearance from a spinal doctor. He said my outcomes were death or paralysis if he messed with my spine. Yeah no. Give your mom a hug for me please 🙏🏻🫶🏻
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They’re great for us hard of hearing folks too. Subtitles!
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I’m a combat veteran. I don’t need a weapon to defend myself. You can have one, and I’ll take it from you. You can fight me in an “even match,” and I’ll prove that it was a mistake. I am WELL-TRAINED, not reliant on equipment.
I’m a combat veteran. I don’t need a weapon to defend myself. You can have one, and I’ll take it from you. You can fight me in an “even match,” and I’ll prove that it was a mistake. I am WELL-TRAINED, not reliant on equipment.
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Highest man in Arizona. Broken back, bilateral hip and knee replacements, still made it to the top. Oh yeah, that was after my Legionnaires disease infection. Weed saved me from that one too. Should be dead, but I’m still here, and it’s everyone’s problem 🫶🏻
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This is what I do all day, relearn how to walk. No calves, no problem amirite?
It doesn’t get easier, you get stronger. Nothing has changed. I still retain urine, I still can’t feel piss or shit come out, calves are still dead, I just have no chill. Skill issue
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Had the pleasure of meeting a young man last night, somehow spotted that I was a veteran (fuck me for not wearing the polka dot compression socks). He was a Marine. Complete opposite ends of the spectrum, politically, but we had a civil conversation that I *mostly* enjoyed
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Alcohol is a solvent. It dissolves everything it touches. Your organs. Your friendships. Your bank account. Your relationships…
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Honestly what was everyone doing in the 50s? What drugs? Y’all were wild
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Potato salad uniforms 💀
We cannot lose to the Diamondbacks in their potato salad uniforms. We just can’t.
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I wanted to make sure everyone knew her name was Paulette Larwinsky. Not a 72 year old homeless woman that was SA’d, beaten, and had her meager possessions stolen by a drunk 22 year old shitbag
And every media company fucked my name up, which, fair
And my friends, the best 🤌🏻
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Ma’s outta surgery, everything went well, overnight and then home tomorrow. Then the fun begins 🥳
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Domestic autos were shit for a long time because racist old timers refused to buy “Jap cars or rice burners” so maybe stfu with all the DEI nonsense you competition hating clowns
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@1goodtern
I didn’t have tachycardia before my *first* *mild* infection in June. I started nodding off in Target and just wanted to go to sleep, my HR was 135 because I had the audacity to walk lol
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This dingbat survived living feral in the harsh AZ desert, got his name Dodger from being dodged tryna be rescued (I get it, the feral life slaps)
He wouldn’t come into the kitchen for *bacon* because he was scared of the noise from the fridge lol
He got lots of bacon
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“Fine the homeless” is some real galaxy brain shit guys good job
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My nickname amongst my lady friends has commonly been “their gay friend” all my life. Am I gay? I wish. Fabulous and straight is a curse tbh. Why? Because they felt safe, knew I’d never ever try and get with them, could trust me, stuff like that. No better friend, no worse enema
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