lady seacaptain
@sailor__girlie
Followers
909
Following
92
Media
47
Statuses
880
if you’re reading this, SWAB THE DECK. you are NOT allowed to pet me
boat
Joined April 2024
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FIRE THE CANONS
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what the hell is riptide
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me crew: where’s the captain? how are we supposed to set sail without her?
me two drinks in trying to flirt with a girl at the bar:
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woah that’s not 8 followers
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some of you need to catch up
if you like all of my tweets you get a kiss on the lips
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WHERE IS MY SHIP
going back to my ship soon i hope nothing happened to it!
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me: argh where is this treasure? i can’t see anything in this fog
the nefarious sirens trying to drown me:
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why are you all into pet play can you be into pirate play instead
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hi this is lady seacaptain. im unemployed and gay. can you venmo me $200
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telling off the nefarious sea beast for trying to eat a hole into me ship
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they don’t call her blackbeard bc she had a beard they call her blackbeard bc she has a bush
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locking my account just to make sure it doesnt cost me a new job. i'll be back in a few days, promise! <3
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dropped my anchor in your mom last night
missed opportunity these last 6 months not making jokes about anchors i think
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way to go smart guy you just dropped the anchor on the siren's head. now neither of us are getting laid
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sorry to dm like this but i saw ye retweeted blackbeard and uh she be canceled so can ye please delete ?
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give me one good reason why ye should be part of me crew ⬇️
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the internet is so cool you’re telling me i can flirt with girls on the other side of the ocean ? and i don’t even have to sail there?
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forgot i was a pirate and put gasoline in my ship thinking it needs it and now my boats on fire
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you’re in her dms im firing a cannonball into her window
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
going after the treasure of a long-forgotten warlock who lives in a cave known for his transmogrification spells and not being afraid to use said transmogrification spells soon wish me luck
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(loud sigh) i guess ye got what ye wanted huh
ALRIGHT MATEYS. HELP ME BUILD A NEW SHIP. I NEED YE TO VOTE HOW MUCH SPACE WE PUTTING INTO EACH PART OF THE BOAT
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what if behind the eyepatch is simply a girl with a whole lot of mental problems would you love her just the same
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woah that’s not 8 followers
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I SEE YE. GIVE ME THE TREASURE
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ye cannot say me be having a “hit tweet” because i be screaming WE BE HIT⁉️⁉️ WHERE ⁉️⁉️
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would ye all still like me if i was a sea urchin or maybe a barnacle
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hey guys im gay
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im a normal straight pirate i’ve never been gay in my life and you can’t prove shit
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a witch stuck me in her cauldron to make dinner but me alcohol content so high that i be better as a sauce of some kind
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who wants to go on an aquarium date where i try to fight the sharks
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this is your reminder that piracy is good and you should do it
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born to be a goth skater girl forced to be a pirate on twitter
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the masculine urge to put on an eyepatch and hook hand and peg leg and spend a night on the sea being teased by other pretty pirates
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do u fw pirate captains or do i make you walk the plank
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NOT ALLOWED TO COMPARE ME TO JRWI ON THIS POST I AM A PERSON THIS IS SPECIAL TO ME
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trans lesbians reply to this tweet so i can follow u
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i appreciate everyone in my replies. sadly i am super socially anxious. i may not reply but i will stare at you with love and admiration
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when you say the girls and the gays can you also include the sea captain. im already both those things im just more important
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if ye kill me, me natural body crumbles into ash. in the middle of it lie a simple dabloon i ate when i be 4
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not to be political on main. but i think i should be allowed to plunder whoever i want
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never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, or a captain how much booty she’s plundered
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OPENED MY BOOKMARKS BY ACCIDENT AND GOT JUMPSCARED BY TITS
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i be a perfectly normal captain on a perfectly normal ship there be no jolly roger on me flag i just be passin by they can not tell that i be high right now
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woah that’s not 8 followers
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if i reach 1000 followers by the end of the month i’ll get pregnant
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if you like all of my tweets you get a kiss on the lips
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when the mage is trying to blow me up after stealing all her crystal balls
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day 4 of being stranded on this island by bimble. i’ve been waiting for anyone to come by but no luck. im thinking about women to pass the time away. how i miss you women
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i be settin off on me voyage soon to find the land of beautiful women who’s flag is 🏳️⚧️
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don’t worry cap’n will make dinner. (hands you half a bottle of beer and a wet cigarette)
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i be letting her sheath her sword in me treasure chests if ye catch my wave oh shit what is that
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(carrier seagull drops a message on my head) ah the news.. i hope i didn’t miss a- THEY HIT THE PENTAGON?
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do u guys point at my posts and pog and go LADY SEACAPTAIN⁉️⁉️⁉️
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captains so anxious she wants to barf can you guys send funny animals or something to me
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okay attempt 2 if i reach 1000 followers by the end of the month i’ll get pirate pregnant ^_^
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i be so bad at tweeting i ran out of jokes ages ago . anyone got a pirate joke i can plunder
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a like on me tweet is a kiss on the cheek. retweet is on the mouth. following me? sister that be third base
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IVE BEEN TURNED INTO A HIDEOUS BEAST OF NATURE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i like making these tweets bc they’re funny but also i Lose followers every time. weeding out those who won’t support my pirate pregnancy
okay attempt 2 if i reach 1000 followers by the end of the month i’ll get pirate pregnant ^_^
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4 bottles o rum in and im running out of me pirate jokes and the hot mage still won’t look me way
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this account is gonna stay closed for the time being. thanks for the good time. see you all in therapy
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spell your name only using the letters l, a, d, y, s, e, c, p, t, and n
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big fan of this trend of mutuals posting their face. nice to know everyone in this world is more beautiful than i ever could’ve imagined
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in a recent plunderin’ one of me girls grabbed a talisman housing a genie. we were ecstatic she wasted the wishes on cigarettes
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[on megaphone] WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WANT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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three types of fantasy twt accounts:
- people who are dedicated roleplayers
- people who play a character, but its mostly a joke
- lady seacaptain
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going after the treasure of a long-forgotten warlock who lives in a cave known for his transmogrification spells and not being afraid to use said transmogrification spells soon wish me luck
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WHY IS SHE SHAKING THERES NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF IM JUST A PIRATE
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i only have one woman in my
life and that be the sea. oh and that mage too i guess
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every follower i lose is me shoving scalliwags off the plank
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