sir lady knight π
@medievalmusings
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from the river to the sea π΅πΈπ΅πΈπ΅πΈ thy local gallant cavalier, protector of the realm, and purveyor of shit posts. she/they
Castle Doune
Joined May 2024
trigger warning: vampires.//. //. SHE PUT HER CANINE TEETH IN THE SIDE OF MINE NECK.
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tis likely that i am nonbinary, but i hath a dragon to defeat so idrc about that rn.
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took her to the pond today. she likes to go for strolls.
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depressed at 13 was crazy. i should have been at the faire.
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(knight unhooking your bra): clank clank clank clank.
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hear ye, hear ye:. infamous evil twink to be executed at dawn.
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was 'avin a bath and some lady rose out the water an' hit me across the head with this. #newsword
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art thou neurodivergent? could be a sign of fae lineage. ask thine doctor.
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(giving advice mid battle): ye hath toβοΈβοΈπ‘οΈπ‘οΈπ‘οΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈπ‘οΈπ‘οΈβοΈπ‘οΈ stβοΈartβοΈβοΈ putting π‘οΈπ‘οΈβοΈβοΈβοΈβοΈ thyself first, girl.βοΈβοΈβοΈπ‘οΈπ₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π.
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STOP ASKING IF I LIKED IT YOU FOOLS I WAS BEING MAULED!!!1!.
trigger warning: vampires.//. //. SHE PUT HER CANINE TEETH IN THE SIDE OF MINE NECK.
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yes. good. .
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thou art in her dms, i am her dm. she is mad that i killed her favorite npc.
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I HATE THE WORD SITUATIONSHIP THE ONLY SITUATION WE ART IN IS BATTALE!!! TASTW MINE BLADE!!!.
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a personal favorite.
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the maiden said she loved me. i yelled quest at her and ran away. stupid foolish knight. stupid stupid stupid.
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apologies for the lack of bangers, i hath been courting a maiden.
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do's and don'ts for keeping warm in these dark times. DO:.- wear layers.- seek shelter/populated areas.- stay nourished.- share resources. DON'T:.- light thyself on fire.- light others on fire.- listen to the figures offering warmth beyond the gates.- buy from the evil council.
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2025 in's:.- chainmail.- airy stone castles.- pledges of fealty and honor.- questing.2025 out's:.- scales.- cave lairs.- kidnapping maidens.- setting fiefdoms ablaze with merely one's breath.
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whenst thou calls me a fool, this be whom thou art speaking to. whenst thou shakes thy fist in the air and threatens to turn me into a toad, this is whom thou casts thine ill will upon.
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ne'er smoking hobbit weed with the soothsayer again. she became a vessel for the old gods and inhaled the entire months ration of canembert.
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reminder that it's okay to punch nazis. hold people accountable.
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snow white and the seven shawties.
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love yourself out of spite. if not anything else.
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autism be damned, that page can wield a sword.
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"where's your sword?" we art fighting vampires. fool. π.
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thine title of sleep enjoyer is a falsehood. i can see thee doom scrolling the forbidden texts.
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bouncing on it. the normal way. with mine feet.
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fair maiden: oh how i wish to looketh upon my rescuer! shed thine helm, dear knight, so that i may see thee who hath freed me!. ouppy knight:
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"wench this, wench that" i am revoking thine wench card. tis over drawn, thou cannot be trusted with it.
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the alchemist claims to hath "milked" an oat. now this i must see.
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there art only two factions in this order it seems.
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you all have terrible survival instincts. anyway:.
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"the nightlife in this city is so underrated". aye, 'tis. 'tis.
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the only thing i yearn for is quests. i am normal. they should call me sir lady knight the normal and mundane.
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i hath contracted the plague.
good luck babe at the vmas. styling @/genesiswbb .mua @/1800andrewdahling .hair @/domforletta .nails @/byjuanalvear .wearing @/zanabayne.@/drmartens.@/skankchic.@/crushedleather. tailor @/suzyyun @/migpena
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i am a knight, not a cop. swim in the moat to thine heart's content.
No swimming in the moat (and complain not about it).
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sir lady knight (and the girl behind the armor)
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fun fact: lycanthropy is an allegory for menstrual cycles.
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@BimbleWizard do not worry bimble, tis in chess. today is finally the day that i wipe the board with that scaley fiend. 14th time is the charm i swear.
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chiitan, if you see this, show us thine blade.
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WHERE IN THE HELLS DIDST ALL OF YE COME FROM???
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ah. the bards art playing the music of mine people. (Hozier).
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quest of the day: locating the fair maiden's face underneath the locks of hair that fell loose whilst we were making out.
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doth ye think angels enjoy being called "pretty bird"?.
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perhaps it is my turn to be rescued from the tower.
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forgive me, for i hath sinned. i hath never played eldin ring.
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bugs art like tiny knights, art they not? if not knight, why possess armor? think about it.
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the horses art so negative all of the time. trying to hold a conversation and all they will say is nay :/.
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moot 1: titties.moot 2: titties.moot 3: booty yargh.moot 4: titties.moot 5: titties.moot 6: titties.moot 7: i was the second shooter.moot 8: pondering them orbs and by orbs i mean titties.
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why doth all of ye live in this one spot??.
@ some mutuals that you would find here βΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈ
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she is referred to as her highness because oft is she high off her ass.
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Who wants to make out and eat dirt.
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when i am sick, i send an italian plumber and his scrawny cohort to rescue maidens in mine place.
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SIRE STOP "GETTIN JIGGY WIT IT"!!! YE ART SCARING THE MAIDENS!!!.
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paladin bumped their head once during a quest and we could hear nothing from them save the sounds of sheet metal wobbling for three long minutes.
I RESCIND THIS STATEMENT. EVERYTHING I SAY IS MUCH MORE CUNNING AND SMART THAN ANY OF YE MIGHT DARE TO EVEN COMPREHEND.
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she hath the apple bottom petticoats and the boots with the fur, dareth i say the whole court was looking at her.
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. it seems the castle will need more defenses.
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if ye art cold, they art cold. let them be cold. stop inviting monsters into thy place of residence.
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"why are. your hands. so cold. ?". a wizard froze them. next question.
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soothsayer: i sense that terrible evils will encroach upon us. i: ah, me as well. tis called anxiety.
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subtly hinting i'm a lesbian by defeating enemies in battle and running my sword through their lower torso, avoiding major vital organs yet inviting a slow death by sepsis if left untreated.
Subtly hinting im a lesbian by kissing a woman on the mouth.
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ye dive in her cervix? WEAK!! I DIED IN HER SERVICE!!!.
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is it normal to want to kill thyself when a pretty maiden asks thee out? how dost one be normal in the presence of maidens?.
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thou wouldst ne'er last a mere minute, let alone an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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this year hath been a blur!. - joined the paladin's guild.- quested.- got maimed by a vampire.- joined the dawn guard.- battled evil doers and a dragon.- quested.- briefly became a prophet of the false sun.- (allegedly) got adopted by a (different) vampire.- quested.
qrt with your enchanted forest yearly recap! i want to hear about all the stuff everyone has done this year.
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I FORGOT I LOCKED THE CAPS AND I HATH LOST THE KEY.
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woah there! finally awake art we? looks like ye had a pretty bad fall! huh? what's that? talk tuah podcast. ? how strange. come, let's get thee back on thy steed and go for a ride, shall we?.
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silent night? nay the armor maketh quite a racket.
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in 20 years you'll be happy you didn't support colonization and genocide βΊοΈ.
in 20 years ur gonna be happy u ordered the Collectorβs Meal. out now.
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