Melody Rhymes
@rhymes_melody
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Following
1,025
Media
1,980
Statuses
26,606
Lover of music. Prince is my paisley baby. Slightly acerbic, buoyant and sardonic (or so I’ve been told). “Twitter is an orchard of crap.”
California
Joined December 2020
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Pinned Tweet
I live in a highly populated area but when I see that someone from twitter lives here too, it kinda makes me giddy. Then I block them.
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@ItsSamG
3 kids here. One could not sit at a booth for an entire meal-he’d want to wander around. We waited to go out to eat at a restaurant until he matured. In the meantime we’d go to places like MCD (quick and loud) as practice until we could see he could behave. It can be done.
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@_amontoyaa
I have a candidate right now who is asking for a lot less than we’re budgeting for. I’ve been struggling with whether I should tell him. Though I see this as a red flag that he doesn’t know what he’s worth.
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I’m always the first one up so I can pretend I live by myself.
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@weIcome2thedawn
Hmm. Beck looked up to Prince a lot and got a lot of his styling from Prince. I’m sure it was a big moment for Beck. Kinda wish Prince was a little more gracious.
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Why does an app that allows porn scold you when you use the word “fuck”?
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@consequence
I feel like I no longer care about what drugs she takes or who she sleeps with.
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@DanRegan_Comedy
Whenever I travel I look for a hotel with a gym. It’s a prerequisite. I’ve used the gym zero times.
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@R_S_Fowler
@realsarahpolley
@whatdoesntkillu
The article says these schools we’re running up until the 1990s. My guess is there are still people alive who were responsible.
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@justinbaragona
@thefdpodcast
I don’t get it. I get being loyal and faithful to your politician of choice. But the hate, how one man can bring out that hate in so many people, I don’t get it. So scary.
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Strong work ethic.
Sarcastic sense of humor.
That I was loved and important.
I can do it if I step back, assess the situation, and apply logic.
Math is fun.
(Okay, I guess that was more than one)
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@KaylaChowShow
This really happened to a male friend of mine before they we’re about to seal the deal, “I have a shallow vagina”
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So I’m thinking these lemons are fair game. Any rules of the road in these situations?
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I don’t get The Bachelor. If a dude was having a hard time deciding if he wanted me or another chick, I’m outta there. Amirite?
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@ItsSamG
We’d pick very loud places at first just to be safe. And then slowly transition to better places. When people go out to eat it’s a special time. They want to relax, celebrate,etc.
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@pcbrynn
@JAMES0NTIME
Reading these comments, people are focusing on weapons. You need to start at the root of the problem—access to mental health. Better detection, better access to resources, less stigma.
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Imagine doing what you love till you’re 96. RIP Tony.
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@ThatEricAlper
My favorite was seeing Muhammad Ali when I was a kid at a magic shop in Hollywood. My grandma YELLED “Cashus Clay!” He laughed at started doing magic tricks for me and my cousins. He was incredibly cool and loved the attention.
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@perry_ron
It’s funny. I see people coming on twitter to use their energy only to be mean to someone and hurt their feelings. And then there’s people who use their energy like this. What a human!
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Not to brag, but I went for a run this morning after two cups of coffee and I didn’t shit myself.
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Say your 23 yr old still lives at home. Do you let him bring his girlfriend to his room, door shut, when his room is close to your room?
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@WKRPinCanada
@ThatEricAlper
He embodies what I think of when I think of Canada.
Oh, and hot guys in flannel shirts chopping stuff.
Oh, and hot guys playing hockey and ramming into other hot guys.
Oh, and hot guys explaining quantum physics to reporters.
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@CrockettForReal
@adamgreattweet
So...a zucchini, a carrot, and a cucumber walk into a bar..,
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No skips allowed; what is an album that is a perfect 10/10 LP, in your opinion?
My pick: Zep IV
A no skip trip!!
No skips allowed; what is an album that is a perfect 10/10 LP, in your opinion?
My pick: London Calling … The Clash
A double album’s worth of no skiptatude!
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@adamgreattweet
@perlhack
Nice to random people
Doesn’t dwell on the problem but focuses on the solution
Quick witted
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@SistahAsali
@DanPriceSeattle
Then you understand that the private bank relationship makes enough money to absorb the costs of overdrafts. The lower balance relationships do not.
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The way I eat when I have the house to myself is something no human should see.
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How does nobody on Jeopardy accidentally say “oh shit” when they miss a question?
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A friend took their kids to Knott’s Berry Farm (an amusement park with the best funnel cake) and brought sliced cucumbers for snacks. I’m think of calling social services.
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Eh is to Canadians as huh is to Americans.
Learned that on Twitter.
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Why are we only concerned about salt being kosher? Why does pepper get a free ride?
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@FixingEducation
I can tell you that teachers are tired of dealing with parents and it spoils all the joy of teaching. Parents who beg the teacher at the end of the semester to give their kid a better grade than they deserve.
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I closed my Facebook account. Is there a support group where everyone gives me a high five and we all celebrate?
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@RealHousewifeMi
@Alyssa_Milano
My son did Cooperstown. And the whole team did. There was fundraising, they have a lot of time to raise the money. I would NEVER ask strangers to foot the bill when I could easily. So gross.
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Yesterday at the grocery store I had not one but two cashiers cracking up, along with the guy behind me and my teen could not be more mortified. I don’t get it. Isn’t it cool to have a funny mom?
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Yellow Ledbetter. My favorite song about whatever the fuck he’s talking about.
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Girl, are you a donut? Cuz I wanna squirt my jelly in your hole.
(I would kill it as a dude)
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@silentkil_er
If you call a business and want them to resolve your problem, GIVE them the solution instead of asking what they can do.
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My son saw a punk band last night, Snuffed on Sight. He had a great time.
Last week he asked me to turn down my stereo because Simon and Garfunkel was too loud for him.
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Accidentally found my boss’s twitter account and his Twitter handle is Willy Lickerbush.
(Fine, that was a total lie)
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Can we vow to never use the word “totality” again, ever?
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So how do I invest in this Omicron? I’m late to the party on this cyber currency shit.
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@mahnamematt
Lol. So many times I see guys shopping with their ear to the phone, “I don’t see it, all they have is…”
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Got a Peleton last year and I’ve really broken it in. I can almost fit two loads of laundry on it.
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Why do old ladies always wear white pants? Are they flaunting the fact they don’t have periods?
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@ThatEricAlper
That if I ate those little berries I would die and that I always had to be on the lookout for quick sand.
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You’re not gonna tell me I don’t know how to find a bargain.
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What kind of hobbies are you guys into? I’m thinking of starting a new one but want to hear yours.
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The thought of sitting in one place for four hours at someone else’s house gives me anxiety.
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There’s a record store I go to where the music is blasting and the owners are always high as a kite. I love that place.
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@JustSayinAb
@ThatEricAlper
@ABBA
I’ll listen to Dave reading the phone book. (Ya, that was a thing kids)
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Not sure what this says about my sex life, but I had a vibrator dream last night.
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@geostylegeo
Yes, you got to slam the phone down when you’re were mad. And that’s satisfaction.
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Got one of those massage guns for my sciatica. On another note. My vibrator’s battery just died.
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Growing up when Pat Benatar and Madonna were new was super cool.
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