Shaun Ranks the Theme Parks
@rankingthemouse
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Everything theme parks MUST be ranked 🏰📝 • Stay-at-Home Dad & Disney/Universal Travel Agent 👶 • He/Him • @jessmarie_253 • @theresortrating • Christ-follower
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Welcome to the world, Julian Nico Garcia Knight ❤️
Our pride & joy was born at 10:30pm on 8/28, at 28 weeks gestation & 3lbs
Mom & Julian are both recovering from a traumatic few days & are doing well. As an extreme-premie, baby boy has a long journey ahead, but he's a fighter
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One of these days we will ask why the hell this news broke at 10pm ET on a Sunday night BUT WHO GIVES A SH*T RIGHT NOW. I'M SO RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY.
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That dude that got banned from Disney & now is at Universal doing the same stuff is wild. People will literally do anything for social media clout. He'll regret this all in a few years when he's banned from every theme park in Florida.
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Indoor masks returning to Universal Hollywood in 2 weeks & potentially Disneyland Resort as well. Stay safe everybody 🙏
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My passion & love for the Disney Parks is as low as its ever been. Sad. I really wish I didnt feel this way.
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This might end up being one of the greatest theme park lands ever constructed, inside what is probably already the greatest theme park ever constructed. Absurdity.
NEW: Disney announced the names of 4 rides coming to Fantasy Springs, the port themed to Frozen, Tangled, and Peter Pan opening next year at Tokyo DisneySea:
Anna and Elsa’s Frozen Journey
Rapunzel’s Lantern Festival
Peter Pan’s Neverland Adventure
Fairy Tinkerbell’s Busy Buggy
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I'm personally not a fan of the redneck vibe & there were 2 too many "Lets Go Brandon" shirts for my liking, but I'm not gonna sit here & act like that wasn't one of the best "cheap" meals I've ever had in my life......
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The bus taking guests from the Anaheim Convention Center to the Honda Center. Unbelievably impressive
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When you overhear a random group of strangers talking about theme parks
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Prayers out to anyone that was at Mickey & Friends tonight, & the family of the deceased individual. So incredibly sad & heart-breaking & scary.
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The guest behavior in Magic Kingdom is 100x worse than any other park.
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Absolutely wild Disney fact of the day that I just learned like 2 months ago:
The Barnstormer & MK's Space Mountain only have a 2 mph difference in max speed 😳🤯
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Anytime I randomly think about Mickey & Minnie's Runway Railway, it re-blows my mind that Disneyland really gained an elite E-ticket dark ride & lost..basically nothing.
It's insane Imagineers found room for that attraction + top-tier queue in ToonTown/backstage. We're so lucky.
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Gov. DeSantis wants WDW (and all of Florida) to remove ALL preventive health measures & just have a free-for-all shxt show with no masks, distancing, or ANYTHING.
Gov. Newsom won't let DLR (or large chunks of Cali) even ATTEMPT to re-open safely.
What an insane difference. Wow.
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I'm about 55% sure this is Disney testing out guest reaction to a potential Country Bear takeover/overlay of Grizzly River Run
Would check off many boxes, including a much-needed IP for GRR, plus CB rep
I'm probably wrong, but it makes sense why they'd build this beauty here 🐻
There’s a new gigantic Big Al statue in Grizzly Peak in Disney California Adventure.
I’m sorry Michelangelo and Praxiteles, but this is the best statue ever created by humans.
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1) Not even remotely the highest point 🎢
2) Vapes right after talking to security
3) Proud & boastful of the multiple times hes broken park rules & ruined an experience for hundreds of guests
4) Disney not being harder on this stuff encourages wild behavior for TikTok views
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When people complain about food prices at Disney/Universal, remind them of this
At Six Flags a chicken tenders combo- tenders, fries and drink- with the dumb $0.99 surcharge added is $25.48!(!!!!!!!)
How can families afford to go to parks anymore?
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Wanna feel old?
This was Polar Express boy in 2004; this is Polar Express boy now in 2025's live-action Snow White
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I'm eternally grateful to Bob Chapek for helping me discover my love for Universal Studios & Knotts Berry Farm.
Thank you Bob, without you I'd probably only be passionate about Disney!
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Disney fans: "We need more theme park investment!!!!"
Universal: *builds brand new massive, gorgeous, multi-billion dollar theme park*
Disney fans: "What's the point of this? Looks stupid."
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Disney accidentally releasing (then immediately deleting) an official Press Release for Tiana's opening announcement instead of waiting until American Idol tonight like originally planned is hilarious 😂
This company loves accidental early announcements hahaha
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When a non-theme park friend tells me about a "Disney hack" they heard out about while reading Inside the Magic
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1/10/2023
- Tron opening
- HarmonioUS/EPCOT Forever dates
- Enchantment/HEA dates
- DLR Park-hopping @ 11am
- WDW Attraction Photos included w G+
- More Tier-0 pricing @ DLR
- MKs periodically back on-sale @ DLR
- WDW hotel guests free parking
- No ressies after 2pm for WDW APs
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Julian Nico has began receiving 5min breaks twice a day from his CPAP Breathing Machine, which means Jess & I got to see our baby's whole face for the first time in his life. It was probably the most emotional moment of my entire life, & I cried for hours. I love my son so much
Welcome to the world, Julian Nico Garcia Knight ❤️
Our pride & joy was born at 10:30pm on 8/28, at 28 weeks gestation & 3lbs
Mom & Julian are both recovering from a traumatic few days & are doing well. As an extreme-premie, baby boy has a long journey ahead, but he's a fighter
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I first realized that I'm not as big of a Disney Parks fan as I thought when I saw fans directly contacting Disney over their displeasure of an animatronic's placement inside an attraction.
I really don't have the same passion & dedication as so many friends in this community
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In 2021, I nearly lost my marriage, home, & life to a crippling 3-year gambling addiction. I was one relapse away from a 1-year in-patient recovery program.
Today I celebrate TWO YEARS clean from gambling! My life has never been better 🙌
Addiction is real. Help is out there 🙏
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TIANA MEDIA PREVIEW ON JUNE 9TH 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
TIANA WILL HAVE (PRIVATELY-INVITED) RIDERS ON JUNE 9TH!!!!!!
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Wait wait wait.... WAIT wait......WAIT........
WHAT?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!
Today I leaned that you can track a Disney bus traveling through your resort in the Google Maps app.
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Last night, one of my biggest theme park anxiety's came to fruition. I know this may be a bucket list for many but 120ft down w nothing but a handrail does crazy things to your mind & legs. I have stronger thoughts about Disney's laughable evac & post-evac policy for another time
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Rough, rough day for Tiana's Bayou Adventure haters out there
THIS SUMMER CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH 😩
NEW: Disney shared new photos of the innovative Audio-Animatronics figures coming to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure this summer at Walt Disney World, and later this year at Disneyland Resort.
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THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!!!!
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Julian Nico - Graduate, THE Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, c/o 2023 🎓👶
After 66 total days in the hospital, our baby boy has officially graduated to the real world. He is now living at home with mom, dad, & doggy brother Dante
Julian is finally & officially a FREE BABY 👶
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I'm convinced some fans will never be happy no matter what is announced
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First look (sound?) at the original Michael Giacchino score for the upcoming Fantastic 4: First Steps from Marvel Studios.
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I'm not being dramatic when I say this is LITERALLY one of my worst nightmares possible on this earth - stuck for more than ~5min on a completely vertical lift hill. I cant even begin to think how my body or brain would react in this situation
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Josh D'Amaro immediately apologizing for 2022 D23 Expo at the very beginning hahaha wild. Very bold but very aware of him
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The rednecks found my Texas Roadhouse tweet & they aren't happy about my pronouns in bio
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"Hi DisTwitter, am I a cutie with my mask off?! The doctors say I am breathing so well that I get daily 5min breaks without my mask now!! I even open my eyes for about 30 minutes a day!! Also crazy about that Disney bear today. Okay I'm going back to sleep now bye"
- Julian Nico
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This is heartbreaking & devastating to watch. Praying for the safety of all CMs & guests. Seeing Murphy go down like this makes me legitimately emotional & sad. Wow.
Damn. Fantasmic is definitely gonna be down/B-mode for a hot minute.
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I just got a Boarding Group for 19 people at 7am. More impressed with myself today than at my college graduation.
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Julian got approval for a few hours out of his incubator today. Second time ever getting to hold my son.
Life in the NICU is tough, but every moment of progress - like this one - is so unbelievably rewarding & joy-filled.
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As the wise poet Future once theorized: "Mask on? F**k it, MASK OFF"
MY BABY BOY IS OFFICIALLY CPAP-FREE & BREATHING ON HIS OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE 🫁🌬👨🍼
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For the record, we received no safety spiel after being released from our harnesses by maintenance. Received not a single word from ANY Disney employee after harness release, including after reaching the ground. Not an apology, not a Lightning Lane, not even an acknowledgement.
Last night, one of my biggest theme park anxiety's came to fruition. I know this may be a bucket list for many but 120ft down w nothing but a handrail does crazy things to your mind & legs. I have stronger thoughts about Disney's laughable evac & post-evac policy for another time
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Today marks 15 months clean from a lifelong gambling addiction that almost cost me my life. Here's to the next 15 months of sobriety 🥳
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Theme Parks as decorative pillows:
Disney:
H🏰ME
Uni:
H🌎ME
LEGOLAND:
H🧱ME
Knotts:
H🫐ME
SeaWorld:
H🐬ME
Dollywood:
H🪕ME
Cedar Fair:
H🎢ME
Six Flags:
H🗑ME
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Hoping everyone was okay during the earthquake in Japan. Donald showing guests how to duck & cover is amazing.
トレイル入った瞬間に鳴ったからびっくりした…皆様無事ですか？
トレドナちゃんも頭守りながら、目の前でこっち気遣ってくれてて優しさに安心出来た🥹💕ありがとう😭💦
#むぅはトレドナ限界オタク
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It's too late for the "is this seriously the best we can do?" comments
We all have to be fully aboard the Biden train now for the next 9 months. Yall can bitch & complain about Biden AFTER the W is secured. Our country's future is on the balance.
Joe Biden and Donald Trump have officially secured enough delegates to become the Democratic and Republican nominees for President, cementing a rematch between the two in November.
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This is a terrible take & it's crazy to me it has 250+ likes
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D23 Announcement Awards:
Most Confusing:
Spider-Man ride at HKDL
Most Underrated:
Unique, non-IP story coming to 1/3rd of Tropical America's land
Most Unanimously Hype:
Villain's land
Most Out-of-Left-Field:
Mando & Grogu in Millennium Falcon
Perfect Fit:
Coco Ride at DCA
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Even if Tiana's is having major operational issues, all tweets/public posts about its issues immediately draw insane Save Splash Mtn accts sprinting in to yell about DEI & reverse racism & how shitty the ride is. It's insane.
Rise & Hagrid's also had poor ops for months/years.
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No. No it is not. Exactly why this announcement from Disney was a bad idea.
BREAKING: Coco, Encanto, Villains Expansion Coming to Magic Kingdom
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This is an extremely strange thread
Our Honest truth about China after several trips out there :
- Infrastructure is 10+ years ahead of the United States & Europe
-Extremely safe due to tons of cameras
- Very clean & No graffiti anywhere
Western media always portrays China as a bad country.
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If you don't think Avengers Campus is one of the greatest theme park lands of all time SIMPLY for what they've done with characters, you're wild
Werewolf By Night in Avengers Campus looks amazing. Wow.
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Our baby has dropped under 3lbs post-birth but is still a fantastic size for an extreme-premie, according to his doctors. He has 6 more weeks on the CPAP Breathing Machine but is happy & healthy & loves the few hours a day he gets to lay skin-to-skin with his mom & dad<33
Welcome to the world, Julian Nico Garcia Knight ❤️
Our pride & joy was born at 10:30pm on 8/28, at 28 weeks gestation & 3lbs
Mom & Julian are both recovering from a traumatic few days & are doing well. As an extreme-premie, baby boy has a long journey ahead, but he's a fighter
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SCOTT GUSTIN YOU BETTER NOT BE HACKED. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE NOT THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE LIFE.
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"Good morning friends 😁
I'm a big boy now, I get to move to an OPEN CRIB!! Since I'm finally able to fully regulate my temperature, my doctors said I don't need my incubator anymore:))
I am a happy boy & all my nurses say I'm the cutest baby they've ever met!!"
- Julian Nico
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No more thrill rides for
@jessmarie_253
for awhile! 😲🙈
Baby Boy Ranking coming Nov. 2023 👶🥳
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Unironically one of my favorite places to chill in all of Disneyland Resort. So incredibly peaceful & relaxing.
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This is unironically the best Disney news we've received in YEARS 😩😩😩
NEW: Disneyland Resort updated its website with official guidelines for pin trading in theme parks and officially banned the use of benches to display pins.
"Benches or any other structures for the display of pins will not be permitted. Benches are for seating purposes only."
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I love both parks at Universal more than most theme parks in America, but they realllyyyy need atleast 1 or 2 of their 3 massive empty theaters to be filled with some daily entertainment.
Would do WONDERS for the full-day status of both parks
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We've been inside of Disneyland Paris for 10min & I've already demoted Magic Kingdom 43 spots in my Disney Parks ranking. This park shits on MK in every single way imaginable.
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Road-tripping thru Arizona today
First stop?
One of the only McDonalds on the planet with non-golden arches
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Time for her to go permanently.
Simpsons ride having clear issues as has been unexpected closed random days of this month and I’ve been told now it’s down all this week for a previously unscheduled refurb
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You're offered 2 billion, but you can never ride Tomorrowland Speedway ever again. Can you do it?? 🤔
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Just got in a car crash. Airbag deployed & totalled my car. Dumbass in a Chevy took an illegal left turn in front of me then drove away. Luckily had witnesses & police to corroborate for me. Feeling banged up & scared. God is good for keeping me safe - could have been much worse
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Universal's decade:
2019: Hagrid's / Jurassic World
2021: VelociCoaster / SLoP
2023: Super Nintendo World USH / Minion Land
2024: DreamWorks Land (+New Entertainment)
2025: EPIC
2026: Uni Kids Resort / Fast & Furious Hollywood Drift
2027: Horror Unleashed in Vegas? USH Hotel? 👀
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Conspiracy theory that isn't actually true: Disney purposely made the first Jollywood Nights way worse so bloggers would start going to the 2nd or 3rd nights at future events instead of the 1st to help spread out crowds
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My friend who rarely goes to Disney & knew nothing about the creation of Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge says today while exploring Batuu:
"Where are the aliens & the Star Wars music? There needs to be aliens & music."
The GP has spoken.
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The fact that Disney Vacation Club members cannot currently buy Annual Passes to Walt Disney World is one of the wildest business decisions I've ever seen
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Islands of Adventure is a top-tier theme park, but it's being drastically held back by its current lack of live entertainment. A true nighttime show, the Lagoon Theater, & the Sinbad Theater would do wonders in bringing that park back up towards the top of the theme park rankings
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Lookout Cay looks gorgeous, as expected, but I'm truly blown away by the pier. 20-min (ish) journey from ship to actually on your tram in crazy humidity or rain seems the exact opposite of a relaxing vacation to me (esp given DCL pricing). I'm shocked this was their best option
The Disney Magic made its debut in 1998 as the first ship in the Disney Cruise Line fleet - and it’s now the first ship to dock at Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point.
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I love Disney more than any other company in the world, but I truly am sad over the corporate conglomerate machine its become. Inevitable & normal, of course, but exhausting & frustrating.
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If you're an Orlando local, 90% chance you think EPCOT is the best park.
If you're an out-of-state tourist who goes a few times a year, 90% chance you think EPCOT is the worst park.
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Made it thru the entire day with ZERO setbacks!! Baby is still cooking & nurses have told us we can start making the room our home. Jess can't leave the hospital until baby pops so it could be a long few weeks for her but she's ready for the longhaul!! She's 5cm dilated & baby is
Got woken up in the middle of the night by a rush of nurses as babies heart rate dropped around 3am & Jess' contractions increased to every 3 minutes, but everything stabilized around 5am & we woke up another morning with baby still in the womb. Every hour he stays in is a huge W
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Holy shit Disney really outplayed the hell out of the new board. Absolutely genius
The board seemingly just figured this out?! They can complain - but as Disney outlined, these updates were done in public view.
According to
@HazenWESH
, the board claims the new agreements include a clause that says changes stay in place no matter what.
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Today marks our 43rd day living at the hospital & Julian's (hopeful) NICU-release date is Nov 18, meaning our time here is HALFWAY OVER 👏
I wouldn't change the last 43 days for the world. No sleep, constant stress & nasty hospital food has been worth every second with my son 🙏
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DEAR REPUBLICANS. IF YOU STILL ACTIVELY VOTE FOR A CONVINCTED FELON, SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU
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Swifties gonna murder me for this but a rain show this severe sounds absolutely atrocious in person & I would hate every second of it.
Won't lie that it's amazing to watch on video though
🚨| Taylor Swift performing “Invisible” at tonight’s show of ‘The Eras Tour’!
#TSTheErasTour
#FoxboroughTSTheErasTour
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We need more Lilo & Stitch representation in Disney Parks
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This Pete/Dis story is sickening & so sad. Massive thoughts out to any & all of the victims. It's horrifying to me how awful people that exist in our theme park community can be
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My hot take for Twitter this week is this movie (while absurdly flawed) is nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be & was an extremely enjoyable theater experience for me
On this day in 2019, Star Wars: Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker was released. What was something positive you enjoyed about it?
#starwars
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Things we knew before today:
- Disney IT sucks
- Disney launch days for anything new suck
- Bloggers & content creators will always try new things Day 1 & critique accordingly
- Said new things will always get better by Day 10+
Things we learned today:
- See above
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The most fleshed out & immersive theme park to ever exist on this planet is about to open one of the most anticipated & impressive theme park expansions in years.
Insane.
Fantasy Springs at Tokyo DisneySea opens on June 6, 2024. The port features areas themed to Frozen, Tangled, and Peter Pan and includes 4 attractions:
Anna and Elsa’s Frozen Journey, Rapunzel’s Lantern Festival, Peter Pan’s Neverland Adventure, Fairy Tinkerbell’s Busy Buggy
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David Blaine just mind-f*cked the entire crowd. Absolutely wild. I'm speechless.
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Julian is officially bottle-feeding! After over 2 months of being fed only through a feeding tube, this little boy can finally eat on his own 🍼
Another huge milestone passed in his
#NICUJourney
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Holy shit. The SECOND Splash Mountain closes down will be the biggest celebration of my damn life. Idgaf about the ride itself, I just can't wait for real life clowns like this to shut the hell up. This is the INSANITY were dealing with.
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Avatar Flight of Passage posted wait time: 120min
Avatar Flight of Passage actual wait time (to 1st pre-show room):
29min
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A very quick TikTok, Google, or YouTube search will give you all the physical receipts you need. Really not that hard.
I wanna see real hard evidence of all the people “abusing” the DAS system. I want physical receipts. Show me the videos! You can’t tell me people are abusing it all the time when NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE.
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Baby update:
Doctors were able to slow Jess' labor & her contractions have gone from 30 an hour to 2 an hour. They now think that baby will be coming out in days (or weeks!🤞) instead of hours. It's truly a miracle based on where Jess was earlier in the day. We still will not be
Jess woke up at 1am with bad contractions & bleeding. Took her to the hospital & they immediately told us she is going into pre-term labor - 3 months early. They rushed her via ambulance to the closest Level 4 NICU. She's in good health & on magnesium to help slow down the labor
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The biggest con to Islands of Adventure is how poorly that park handles weather delays. Almost 80% of their headliner attractions go down anytime lightning is in the area, & for a park without many filler-rides & basically 0 indoor entertainment, it leaves you very little to do
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Im usually a man of many words when it comes to anything Disney, but I truly dont have words for Oogie Boogie Bash. One of the best nights I have ever had at any theme park event or day in my life.
Not sure a whole lot can ever top what Disney has accomplished with this party.
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Most underrated animatronic in any Disney Park?!?
So crazy they built something so expensive & so impressive in a niche gift shop - not an attraction, show, queue, or even dining venue. My guyyyyyy 👽
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Call me an environment-killer but paper straws are trash. Literally.
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The NBA Finals Game 5 is tonight.
Disney & the NBA literally made it the ENTIRE BUBBLE (2+ months) without a single positive COVID test. Over 900 people were in the bubble at some point or another, tested daily.
ZERO positives.
Disney & the NBA - ALL the kudos to you both!!!
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HOLY SHIT ITS NOT PANDORA FROM WDW. IDC HOW BAD IT TURNS OUT I'M SO HAPPY THEY'RE NOT CLONING PANDORA 😩😩
NEW: Disney shares a NEW look at the Avatar experience planned for Disneyland Resort:
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Easily the best interaction in the replies on social media today. Maybe the whole week.
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