june
@porchsides
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hi everyone i wrote a short piece for HAD's cowboys and aliens submission call and i'd love it if you gave it a read!! thank you to them and to
@felixthepoet
for taking my piece and putting it out there!!
"We meet at the gallows. Her crime? Shooting a man dead, back turned, cold blood. Hot stuff. Mine? Horse thievery."
🔥🐎💘 today from June Villers!!
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humanizing and beautiful to me that she has kind of an ugly phone case
a guy just made me cancel and redo his transaction because he accidentally tipped $3
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wait guys casual sex did not fill the void. has anyone written about this? am i feeling a novel feeling? should i kill myself?
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i don’t need a girlfriend but i do need a buddy i can text things like “toilet clogged this morning!!! killing myself”
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@feelingsstores
literally idk how people can “dislike children” for throwing tantrums or being gross or whatever when that was obviously all of us once. feels like a very deep unkindness to your most innocent past self
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it is so sick and twisted that we've made up a system where post high school and then AGAIN post college all your friends scatter to the winds and you just gotta get lonelier. you gotta brace yourself for that impact. we should go back to villages. no one should be doing this
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u offend one uchicago phil major and here come all their friends 🙄🙄🙄🙄 pack it up dead poets society
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one time i posted a selfie that was meant for one specific person and that person didn't like it and i told my friend and he said "classic gatsbian error." i still think about that
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hearing him say "wait wait wait" because he's realizing he should make a moment out of this.... it's so fucking unfortunate that he's somehow the only person with good political instincts in this country since obama
BREAKING: Trump raising fist as blood drips on his ear and face
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ohhhhh my god ur doing a production of shakespeare but both love interests are women? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite judith butler
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just saw someone with microbangs walking out of the village discount we’re not gonna find anything
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hey everyone! this is just a tweet to say that i'm going to be trying out the name june and they/she pronouns for now—i'm telling myself that these might not be permanent changes, but i think i'm prepared to try it on a larger scale for a bit! thanks and have a nice day
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don't get me wrong but i feel like joking about hating men while having a boyfriend is simply the girlbossification of boomer men joking about hating their wives
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you can tell uchicago doesn’t have an engineering major because if they did they’d have figured out how to keep the quad from flooding on a rainy day
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can i say something without people getting mad
Remember, Kamala Harris has NO NATURAL CHILDREN because children cannot be conceived via the esophagus.
BUT the child she did raise, who was from her husband’s first marriage, turned out like this.
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@wowzowee
i had a hard time knowing how to “form a relationship” with professors at all i cannot imagine getting drinks with them. i did that once for the new voices in fiction thing and only because it was, like, part of the event lol
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name me one thing more slightly ominous than the risk factor list for schizophrenia
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in college all you needed was a beautiful soul and so much love to give. now i need 2-3 years experience and, in an unexpected twist, a drivers license
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on top of the bomb threat why have literally like three uchicago students been shot and killed in the past year this is getting crazy, a grad student a recent grad and an undergrad
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meghan took this and FINALLY i have a photo of myself where i’m giving tragic dead wife. the accident wasn’t your fault…. i want you to move on…..
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have the "just go to therapy" people ever actually tried getting a therapist? this shit's scary like what if they're not very good
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have to hand it to her that “like that one sex scene in mulholland drive” is a crazy line to put in a fun pop song
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THEY CALL HER FULL EMPLOYMENT!!!! ever since i was a little girl i’ve always wanted to be an ADMIN ASSISTANT at UNIVERSITY (not uchicago!)
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now tell me why i met a visibly transfem coworker who went out of her way to tell me her pronouns yesterday only to then turn to me and say “he/him, i assume?” hello??? a semi-woke cis person would know better
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twitter be like omg this is how bisexuals sit 🤧🤧 no! 🙅♀️🙅♀️ this is how guanyin of the southern sea sits
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most insane viral tweet follow up i’ve ever seen coming from someone with uchicago 23 in bio AAAA
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i have to be the sexiest person in the hyde park target for some reason
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i really cannot believe ev*ta d*ffy has a career basically because she was horrifically, monstrously wrong about covid. literally failing upwards
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(girl who wants to go to more house parties in 2024) they’re saying chicago house parties are IN for 2024
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come see me read a lil ol story excerpt, next week wednesday 6 pm in logan penthouse :)
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one time at a party first year an upperclassman snitchcock dude said in the same breath that he'd had a personal french tutor growing up and also that some people are just intrinsically wired better for language learning and i still think about it a lot lol
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college students be like ugh! i HATE living in dorms 😤😡💢🤬 i cannot WAIT to move off campus 😇😍☺️🥰
the off-campus apartment:
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belt to go with it finally arrived and i'm so excited to be called brave while wearing this
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national girlfriends day is a conspiracy by Big Girlfriend to sell more girlfriends
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why the fuck is it still SO HOT i should be wearing my sweaters by now!!!!!
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OUT:
boyfriends
the kind of guy who tries to win you over
the kind of guy who makes love cuz he’s in it
boring old shit
letters and sodas
IN:
fuck and run
fuck and run
fuck and run
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can’t believe i came out as nonbinary only to end up an amab nonbinary (nonbinary boy version) (intruding on women’s spaces version) (not quite fruity enough to have fag hags)
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Am not against Uchicago student s . But some of you are so Anoying . God bles .
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met my girlfriend’s lesbian mother this morning and i said “sksksksk chromatica uwu yearning girl in red go off wlw queen 💖👩❤️💋👩” and she roundhouse kicked me in the head
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@sierralayko
i think it's a reasonable assumption given that NYU is actually like really expensive. or at least it was when i was applying to colleges, like i remember thinking abt it and then immediately discarding it when i realized that they barely give out fin aid. kinda a rich kid school
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uchicago has forced me to learn what “stuyvesant” is and that’s unforgivable
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why would they dramatically halt the rollout of a vaccine people are already so hesitant about for such a rare side effect.... i don’t understand... there have to be millions of antivaxxers who are feeling “right” right about now
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social conservative christian moms be like welcome home my beautiful male son
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it’s always “happy international women’s day” and not “happy birthday june, it’s awesome that your birthday is on international women’s day, thereby cementing your status as the Most woman”
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did i just overhear “can you imagine walking though this museum as a poor person, i’d probably kill myself” or is that too ridiculous to have actually been said
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the three classes in the US are actually
1) your high school has an extensive alumni organization
2) your high school has an alumni facebook group
3) no one from your high school would refer to themselves as an "alum" of that school lmao wtf is that
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like for a tbh has scared me ever since this boy a year above me in high school was about to graduate and was like "screenshot for a tbh!" on snapchat and he literally messaged me like "you should screenshot my story" and then he confessed to having a 2 year long crush on me
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collectively these jackets would go for 10 million USD on depop
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i tweet so much because i just love to have girls in my notifications tab
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i’m glad they extended the lyft rides but re: making it like 24/7 or something there’s something very off to me about uchicago students wanting to basically be chauffeured around hyde park lmao
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comedy is dead now because it used to be that every comedian was from like wisconsin or michigan and went to marquette university or w/e (inherently funny) and now they all just went to an east coast ivy or NYU or something. and there’s nothing funny about that no sir
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immunocompromised gf’s gonna be fully vaxxed next time we see each other.... FINALLY i can cheat without being immoral
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favorite new yorkers list just got an update
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Wow, I love to sit in Norris University Center—the student union at Northwestern University, the school I attend!
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just realized i can literally say bitch now. finally, after all these years
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the women and nonbinary ultimate frisbee team subtly pointed me to the general ultimate frisbee team at the RSO fair yesterday, but i signed up for the listhost anyway, only to find that this is the listhost name lol
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mormons when they hear a song they really like: "damn this shit soaks"
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me when i’m part of an in-group: haha fuck yeah!! yes!!!!
me when i’m part of an out-group: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck
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@maximumgraves
actually better at doing internet voice than the excerpt it’s parodying. thank you max
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what it feels like to walk around the campus of a college you didn’t go to
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i was just at a little function with a lot of chicago music ppl. this guy gives me a ride home. we chitchat. he says he plays for a band called "beach money." i arrive home. there is no band called "beach money." my ride home was the guitarist for beach bunny. i am killing myself
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