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june Profile
june

@porchsides

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20,956

writer & other things

chicago
Joined March 2019
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@porchsides
june
1 year
hi everyone i wrote a short piece for HAD's cowboys and aliens submission call and i'd love it if you gave it a read!! thank you to them and to @felixthepoet for taking my piece and putting it out there!!
"We meet at the gallows. Her crime? Shooting a man dead, back turned, cold blood. Hot stuff. Mine? Horse thievery." 🔥🐎💘 today from June Villers!!
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@porchsides
june
5 months
humanizing and beautiful to me that she has kind of an ugly phone case
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jocelyn 🔪
5 months
a guy just made me cancel and redo his transaction because he accidentally tipped $3
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@porchsides
june
7 months
i think about this one a lot
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@porchsides
june
7 months
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@youngtiddy
teryn
7 months
myrrh? i hardly nyrrh
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@porchsides
june
4 months
listening to alex g
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@porchsides
june
7 months
dream couple’s costume sorry
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@porchsides
june
8 months
wait guys casual sex did not fill the void. has anyone written about this? am i feeling a novel feeling? should i kill myself?
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@porchsides
june
8 months
i don’t need a girlfriend but i do need a buddy i can text things like “toilet clogged this morning!!! killing myself”
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@porchsides
june
8 months
@feelingsstores literally idk how people can “dislike children” for throwing tantrums or being gross or whatever when that was obviously all of us once. feels like a very deep unkindness to your most innocent past self
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@porchsides
june
30 days
weekend in the life of a 28 year old living in chicago illinois
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@porchsides
june
1 year
it is so sick and twisted that we've made up a system where post high school and then AGAIN post college all your friends scatter to the winds and you just gotta get lonelier. you gotta brace yourself for that impact. we should go back to villages. no one should be doing this
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@porchsides
june
4 years
u offend one uchicago phil major and here come all their friends 🙄🙄🙄🙄 pack it up dead poets society
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@porchsides
june
7 months
one time i posted a selfie that was meant for one specific person and that person didn't like it and i told my friend and he said "classic gatsbian error." i still think about that
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@porchsides
june
22 days
hearing him say "wait wait wait" because he's realizing he should make a moment out of this.... it's so fucking unfortunate that he's somehow the only person with good political instincts in this country since obama
@spectatorindex
The Spectator Index
22 days
BREAKING: Trump raising fist as blood drips on his ear and face
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@porchsides
june
3 years
ohhhhh my god ur doing a production of shakespeare but both love interests are women? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite judith butler
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@porchsides
june
3 years
just saw someone with microbangs walking out of the village discount we’re not gonna find anything
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@porchsides
june
8 months
@wowzowee (sagely) berkeley california daughter
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@porchsides
june
3 years
hey everyone! this is just a tweet to say that i'm going to be trying out the name june and they/she pronouns for now—i'm telling myself that these might not be permanent changes, but i think i'm prepared to try it on a larger scale for a bit! thanks and have a nice day
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@porchsides
june
3 years
don't get me wrong but i feel like joking about hating men while having a boyfriend is simply the girlbossification of boomer men joking about hating their wives
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@porchsides
june
2 years
you can tell uchicago doesn’t have an engineering major because if they did they’d have figured out how to keep the quad from flooding on a rainy day
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@porchsides
june
3 years
(not mine)
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@porchsides
june
4 years
@GoetheGF honestly? ideal ruler
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@porchsides
june
12 days
can i say something without people getting mad
@JoeyMannarinoUS
Joey Mannarino
14 days
Remember, Kamala Harris has NO NATURAL CHILDREN because children cannot be conceived via the esophagus. BUT the child she did raise, who was from her husband’s first marriage, turned out like this.
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@porchsides
june
3 years
call shel silverstein
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@porchsides
june
13 days
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@porchsides
june
3 years
the university of chicago
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@porchsides
june
8 months
@wowzowee i had a hard time knowing how to “form a relationship” with professors at all i cannot imagine getting drinks with them. i did that once for the new voices in fiction thing and only because it was, like, part of the event lol
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@porchsides
june
4 months
name me one thing more slightly ominous than the risk factor list for schizophrenia
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@porchsides
june
4 months
in college all you needed was a beautiful soul and so much love to give. now i need 2-3 years experience and, in an unexpected twist, a drivers license
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@porchsides
june
3 years
on top of the bomb threat why have literally like three uchicago students been shot and killed in the past year this is getting crazy, a grad student a recent grad and an undergrad
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@porchsides
june
9 months
meghan took this and FINALLY i have a photo of myself where i’m giving tragic dead wife. the accident wasn’t your fault…. i want you to move on…..
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@porchsides
june
3 years
have the "just go to therapy" people ever actually tried getting a therapist? this shit's scary like what if they're not very good
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@porchsides
june
17 days
millennial bug woman
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@porchsides
june
17 days
have to hand it to her that “like that one sex scene in mulholland drive” is a crazy line to put in a fun pop song
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@porchsides
june
2 months
THEY CALL HER FULL EMPLOYMENT!!!! ever since i was a little girl i’ve always wanted to be an ADMIN ASSISTANT at UNIVERSITY (not uchicago!)
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@porchsides
june
3 years
now tell me why i met a visibly transfem coworker who went out of her way to tell me her pronouns yesterday only to then turn to me and say “he/him, i assume?” hello??? a semi-woke cis person would know better
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@porchsides
june
3 years
[progressive] uchicagx
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@porchsides
june
3 years
twitter be like omg this is how bisexuals sit 🤧🤧 no! 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ this is how guanyin of the southern sea sits
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@porchsides
june
8 months
@synanthropy this is a fascinating tweet of yours to go viral. like why
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@porchsides
june
2 years
most insane viral tweet follow up i’ve ever seen coming from someone with uchicago 23 in bio AAAA
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@porchsides
june
1 year
@feelingsstores the mitski effect
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@porchsides
june
3 years
i have to be the sexiest person in the hyde park target for some reason
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@porchsides
june
2 months
giving sooooo died in 2004 of a treatable illness here
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@porchsides
june
4 years
i really cannot believe ev*ta d*ffy has a career basically because she was horrifically, monstrously wrong about covid. literally failing upwards
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@porchsides
june
1 year
:)
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@porchsides
june
3 years
isn’t that that one high school
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@porchsides
june
7 months
(girl who wants to go to more house parties in 2024) they’re saying chicago house parties are IN for 2024
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@porchsides
june
3 years
yo they made tennis courts from lorde in real life??
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@porchsides
june
1 year
come see me read a lil ol story excerpt, next week wednesday 6 pm in logan penthouse :)
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@porchsides
june
2 years
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@porchsides
june
4 years
one time at a party first year an upperclassman snitchcock dude said in the same breath that he'd had a personal french tutor growing up and also that some people are just intrinsically wired better for language learning and i still think about it a lot lol
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@porchsides
june
3 years
college students be like ugh! i HATE living in dorms 😤😡💢🤬 i cannot WAIT to move off campus 😇😍☺️🥰 the off-campus apartment:
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@porchsides
june
3 months
went to an apartment party tn
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@porchsides
june
4 months
belt to go with it finally arrived and i'm so excited to be called brave while wearing this
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@porchsides
june
3 years
national girlfriends day is a conspiracy by Big Girlfriend to sell more girlfriends
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@porchsides
june
3 years
demolish the hyde park whole foods and build an aldi in its place
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@porchsides
june
3 years
why the fuck is it still SO HOT i should be wearing my sweaters by now!!!!!
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@porchsides
june
7 months
OUT: boyfriends the kind of guy who tries to win you over the kind of guy who makes love cuz he’s in it boring old shit letters and sodas IN: fuck and run fuck and run fuck and run
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@porchsides
june
3 years
can’t believe i came out as nonbinary only to end up an amab nonbinary (nonbinary boy version) (intruding on women’s spaces version) (not quite fruity enough to have fag hags)
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@porchsides
june
3 years
took my yass pill this morning
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@porchsides
june
3 years
Am not against Uchicago student s . But some of you are so Anoying . God bles .
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@porchsides
june
3 years
met my girlfriend’s lesbian mother this morning and i said “sksksksk chromatica uwu yearning girl in red go off wlw queen 💖👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩” and she roundhouse kicked me in the head
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@porchsides
june
3 years
omg wtf stream city of ghosts on netflix
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@porchsides
june
2 months
@sierralayko i think it's a reasonable assumption given that NYU is actually like really expensive. or at least it was when i was applying to colleges, like i remember thinking abt it and then immediately discarding it when i realized that they barely give out fin aid. kinda a rich kid school
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@porchsides
june
2 years
uchicago has forced me to learn what “stuyvesant” is and that’s unforgivable
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@porchsides
june
3 years
why would they dramatically halt the rollout of a vaccine people are already so hesitant about for such a rare side effect.... i don’t understand... there have to be millions of antivaxxers who are feeling “right” right about now
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@porchsides
june
8 months
social conservative christian moms be like welcome home my beautiful male son
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@porchsides
june
5 months
it’s always “happy international women’s day” and not “happy birthday june, it’s awesome that your birthday is on international women’s day, thereby cementing your status as the Most woman”
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@porchsides
june
3 years
did i just overhear “can you imagine walking though this museum as a poor person, i’d probably kill myself” or is that too ridiculous to have actually been said
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@porchsides
june
4 years
the three classes in the US are actually 1) your high school has an extensive alumni organization 2) your high school has an alumni facebook group 3) no one from your high school would refer to themselves as an "alum" of that school lmao wtf is that
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@porchsides
june
3 years
like for a tbh has scared me ever since this boy a year above me in high school was about to graduate and was like "screenshot for a tbh!" on snapchat and he literally messaged me like "you should screenshot my story" and then he confessed to having a 2 year long crush on me
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@porchsides
june
3 years
collectively these jackets would go for 10 million USD on depop
@itsleague
league
3 years
The wind didn't stand a fucking chance.
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@porchsides
june
7 months
i tweet so much because i just love to have girls in my notifications tab
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@porchsides
june
3 years
i’m glad they extended the lyft rides but re: making it like 24/7 or something there’s something very off to me about uchicago students wanting to basically be chauffeured around hyde park lmao
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@porchsides
june
3 years
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@porchsides
june
4 years
me when i'm in hyde park
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@porchsides
june
3 years
comedy is dead now because it used to be that every comedian was from like wisconsin or michigan and went to marquette university or w/e (inherently funny) and now they all just went to an east coast ivy or NYU or something. and there’s nothing funny about that no sir
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@porchsides
june
3 years
on wisconsin i guess!!!!! where are my pfizer pharaohs
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@porchsides
june
3 years
immunocompromised gf’s gonna be fully vaxxed next time we see each other.... FINALLY i can cheat without being immoral
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@porchsides
june
3 years
lake michigan is the ocean, to me
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@porchsides
june
2 years
they don’t write lyrics like they used to
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@porchsides
june
4 years
please, my father was mr. the elephant. call me cage
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@porchsides
june
3 years
favorite new yorkers list just got an update
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@porchsides
june
3 years
was no one gonna tell me boris johnson was born in new york
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@porchsides
june
4 years
i toss and turn at night bc im trying to cook myself evenly
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@porchsides
june
5 months
cathedrals
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@porchsides
june
2 years
Wow, I love to sit in Norris University Center—the student union at Northwestern University, the school I attend!
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@porchsides
june
4 years
[taking an advil] god this is just like queen's gambit
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@porchsides
june
3 years
just realized i can literally say bitch now. finally, after all these years
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@porchsides
june
3 years
the women and nonbinary ultimate frisbee team subtly pointed me to the general ultimate frisbee team at the RSO fair yesterday, but i signed up for the listhost anyway, only to find that this is the listhost name lol
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@porchsides
june
3 years
mormons when they hear a song they really like: "damn this shit soaks"
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@porchsides
june
3 years
me when i’m part of an in-group: haha fuck yeah!! yes!!!! me when i’m part of an out-group: well this fucking sucks. what the fuck
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@porchsides
june
2 years
cardigan moment #NewProfilePic
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@porchsides
june
1 year
1 year on T <3
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@porchsides
june
3 months
@maximumgraves actually better at doing internet voice than the excerpt it’s parodying. thank you max
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@porchsides
june
4 years
the university of chicago
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@porchsides
june
1 month
what it feels like to walk around the campus of a college you didn’t go to
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@porchsides
june
3 years
Looking to update your style?
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@porchsides
june
5 months
i was just at a little function with a lot of chicago music ppl. this guy gives me a ride home. we chitchat. he says he plays for a band called "beach money." i arrive home. there is no band called "beach money." my ride home was the guitarist for beach bunny. i am killing myself
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@porchsides
june
3 years
@swagbaddie AAA WHERE WAS THIS??? i'm so jealous it's crazy
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@porchsides
june
8 months
@lakeeater i’ve always said it’s my lifelong dream to be one of the 2-3 most stressful women
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@porchsides
june
3 years
what’s the CTA line that goes straight to hell
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