ODDnigerian
@oddnigerian
Followers
6K
Following
97K
Media
307
Statuses
33K
NGMI w/o the 'N' || a satirist for the social media age.
Nigeria
Joined November 2014
Storytelling = narration. Storyselling = persuasion. Storyshowing = presentation. If you need help with any of the above (basically you require the services of a wordsmith), I'm your man. Just tag me @oddnigerian and we'll take it from there.
0
5
11
Igbo MEN (emphasis intended) have hacked this community thing sha. So I went to conduct a transaction with a used laptop merchant at Wuse Neighborhood Center last week Tuesday. Throughout our negotiation that morning, he kept receiving alerts back to back. .
Trending video of Igbo businessmen donating funds to re-establish a comrade who suffered heavy business losses at coal camp, Enugu state.
55
773
4K
His Igbo "brethren" in the community came to his rescue, with a crowdfunding target of 400k (half to settle his hospital bill, the other half to cater for his family during the period of his hospitalization, as he couldn't go to work). As at "story time", they had crossed 320k. .
2
83
996
The real meaning of "hit the ground running".
BREAKING:. Sworn in as President of Argentina, Milei signs his first executive order, reducing the Argentine government from 21 ministries to 9
7
228
676
It's uncanny how this is a near-replica of these infamous words by Judas Iscariot recorded in John 12:3-5. "Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred denarii, and given to the poor?".
15
365
659
On seeing my puzzled look, he explained that his residential neighborhood in Mpape was invaded by armed robbers the night before, and one of his neighbors got it real bad—his head was split open by the robbers—and had to be hospitalized. His hospital bill was 200k. .
1
59
550
@The_real_Teelaw @oluremisonaiya @PeterObi Very very unserious. And this is really really shocking coming from her, who has been with us from the beginning. This one she wan start to dey unravel like this, abi they've gotten to her via "back channels" too?🤔.
16
20
351
Peter Obi is giving us MKO Abiola vibes all over again. The overwhelming support from folks is organic and cuts across the country. This kind of candidate comes once in a generation. MKO Abiola 1993.Peter Obi 2023. 2023 - 1993 = 30 years. Is this a sign, Lord?
17
163
337
@HadeymolarS @tek_a_trip @SavvyRinu PO don enter "one chance", and na until the "danfo" reach Aso Rock we go release am🤭.
6
19
233
@JusttLit Yeah. That lady has earned her place in history as a heroine of the New Nigeria. She just doesn't really know it yet.
1
9
217
@newsline9ja @BuchijamesC This is UNVERIFIED. OBIdients, please don't retweet. It's part of the ongoing traps.
2
9
195
@FCB_forlife @GFFN So why not "retaliate" by burning the French flag? Why single out that phenomenal young man?.
3
2
196
@Ekwulu I think this means "silent endorsement" by the "powers that be" that he's inches away from Aso Rock and thus any harm done to him, fatal or not, will throw the country into serious crisis. Powerful people also value "peace" too, because their "powers" are untenable in anarchy.
9
14
183
@iam_ayooyewumi Actually, it's PO 3 : BAT 1. Doyin Okupe voluntarily and swiftly stepping down was the "equaliser". Replacing him with Akin Osuntokun, OBJ's man, and thus maintaining the SW "status quo" is a "brace".
6
11
170
@urchilla01 @_weyimi @chude__ @DavidHundeyin @FS_Yusuf_ @JaypeeGeneral @MrMekzy_ @Nkemchor_ @SavvyRinu @Spotlight_Abby @OlisaOsega E still dey call himself "President of Gabon", Oga Bongo fish wake up!.
5
6
158
@Letter_to_Jack @AlaibiNnana The funny thing is that "Nnana" is even a more igbotic name than "Osasu". If anyone should "invest" in this Igbo bigotry being championed by PDAPC, it shouldn't be a YOUNG man from the SS, from Rivers, from Okrika and from a party that had got nothing but bloc votes from the SE.
1
3
141
@ChifeDr Sir, the Yoruba have this saying which translates as "the dog that is destined not to be found will never hear the hunter's whistle". That is where Segun Awosanya is at the moment. I hope for his sake that the "30 pieces of silver" he got to mortgage his conscience is worth it😐.
1
7
122
@aunty_temi This same "mother" will likely support the astronomical inflation in the country right now so that "poor Nigerians" will stop "kwarapting" the rich ones🤔.
0
1
112
@hayateey1 Oh please! This is so July/August, abi you hibernate since then?. Go consult with your whatsapp group members for the theme for December, we dey here dey wait you. .
5
10
108
1
0
100
@JanefrancesIfu1 @von_Bismack I believe you. I'm not from Anambra/SE and I've never lived in any part of Anambra/SE. But God blessed me with divine intuition which has helped me most of my life. I can smell phony people from a thousand miles away. But you see this Peter Obi, na real "Odogood" 🌞😇.
2
6
98
@onoriode_voke I don't think the right word is "fear".I think it's more like "revere". I believe the Mafia revere the Catholic Church because of its "soft power". They can't fathom how an institution can wield so much influence on people without resorting to bribery, blackmail, or violence.
6
8
104
1
0
92
@Think1nine I told people this, that the BBN organisers will lose money if they don't postpone this year's own, but they said "no be yoots?, yen yen yen". The same way I'm now telling them that the usual "mathematics" that won previous elections for the old order will be scrambled this time.
1
3
94
@LailaAtiku Which "political lesson" again?. You mean the one that will make him and his household to suffer "multidimensional poverty"?. Because you guys already did your electoral worst on Feb 25, 2023 and yet still couldn't rain on his parade, so. .
0
4
91
@Brightgoldenboy No way!. So this thing that you people do in the stations una don carry am come twitter 😳. Someone makes an unsubstantiated claim and you, a police officer (a whole DSP for that matter), are making conclusions on that matter without recourse to proper protocol and procedure 😭.
1
7
85
This was exactly how I got my first and only job:. I saw company's services listed on signboard, went to the office to point out a complementary offering that was missing, got a consultant's role to deliver the missing service, and eventually joined the company full-time.
Pro tip. If there’s a company you really want to work for & they say they aren’t hiring, try packaging your skills as a consulting service and send them a proposal. Some companies can’t afford to hire full time but they hire short term consultants. It has worked for me many times.
2
14
95
Nursing Estate 1 Karu LGA Nasarawa State. LP - 521.PDP - 20.APC - 19.Invalid - 29.
6
53
87
@theofficial_p @Morris_Monye Good thinking, I believe since FAAN is federal maybe there are better chances of getting approval there than anything connected to 🦇's Lagos.
0
5
86
@jaybrizzy So, if he knew that as recently as last year, why's he trying so hard now to gaslight and emotionally blackmail the same "Southerners" for moving in the exact same way he accurately predicted they will move? 🤷.
2
31
88
@Letter_to_Jack As long as you're not a Supreme Court judge, why should anyone care what you find "insulting" or not?
1
1
85
@erondave26 @KeretiUsoroh @segalink Leave him ke. You saw what "leaving him" for that "insurrection" statement on Twitter caused for the #LekkiMassaccre right?.
0
1
75
I have a theory:. Men's attraction to "baddies" is less about the potential pleasure they'd get by "feeling" those FaB (Front-and-Back) "accessories" but more about the "power play" of "owning" or "accessing" that which many other men want so badly. It's all about the EGO.
10
39
77
@Uncle2Triplets @kofi_owusudyer You're joking, right? You meet a random guy from nowhere in the midst of a marital crisis and you think you can trust his judgement at that moment?. You think that would have been his verdict on marriage if you happened to have met him in the midst of a blissful marital moment?.
8
0
78
@OneJoblessBoy At this rate, we OBIdients will need to create a "protocol" department after victory at the polls to "force" Peter Obi to stay in the Presidential Villa and use the Presidential Jet because what in the name of Lamborghini is this kain humility nitori oloun? 😭.
2
3
76
@TheGreatestIFE So OAU doesn't have alumni from the SE right?. Abi Great Ife don become regional university wey dem no tell us?. What sort of a grossly unprofessional take is this?. "For Learning and CULTURE", remember?.
3
11
73
BAT has never lost at the polls. PO has never lost at the courts. BAT has maintained his record. Over to you, PO.
1
35
64
@ojoayomidem @Elkrosmediahub @urchilla01 This man, I'm guessing even you don't know how underrated this your tweet is. "Structure" is STATIC while "Movement" is DYNAMIC.
6
4
72
@YarKafanchan Interesting that I had a similar conversation with my barber earlier today. When "strategists" mock the "naivety" of PO's "diaspora tour", I just chuckle, because even me wey be "political novice" know say it's not about "coming home to vote" but "influencing" those back home.
2
10
62
2
0
62
@Morris_Monye That's the right play imo. Like Kwankwaso, we need Atiku to split the Northern votes with 🦇 so as to dilute the "incumbency" factor that Emilokan is counting on.
2
5
61
A true Omoluabi don't do bigotry. Yorubas travel round the world but suffer racism as Nigerian. Where were you when almost the whole country voted MKO against Tofa in 1993?. Or when OBJ (a Yoruba man) got more votes in SE than Buhari in 2003 even with an Igbo man as running mate?.
OPONU LO POJU LAARIN YORUBA, especially the youths. Yorùbá people are very good in destroying their own Stars. We have 3 leading presidential candidates in the 2023 election as at now; Atiku, Tinubu and Obi.
3
30
58
@5Linus @DavidHundeyin Oho, me I no dey chook mouth for that matter again o. Make dem dey find Arewa votes when your low-hanging fruits are Gen Z Southerners and Middle Beltans.
3
2
55
@TheoAbuAgada Let Atiku do a video condemning the murderers of Deborah in Sokoto first, preferably in hausa language. First come. First serve.
2
5
54
@obi_Nwosu @OkoroFinian Yeah, once the registration closes this weekend, the next "fight" is to get @inecnigeria to release EVERY SINGLE PVC before this year runs out. EVERY SINGLE PVC.
1
6
53
@Slimchineme @TOpemidayo @kingchyk I love this. My POV for the 2023 presidential election is that it's between the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
1
3
51
@OluniyiGates Exactly what I thought when I saw the tweet. If you wanna chase clout, at least do it on the wings of sense.
9
6
54
@Mz_Tosyn Everything is East vs West, Igbos vs Yorubas to you APC folks. Classic case of black-and-white thinking right there. Also, this is hypocrisy on steroids: your Oluomo and Iyaloja brethren have been forcing keke drivers to buy stickers and market women to close shops for rallies.
2
8
53
@TundeJamiu5 @Olayemmyy @agber_paul @CC_okoro Eyaaa, you want all your Yoruba brothers and sisters to vote for your candidate or else they are "omo ale" but you need votes from non-Yoruba "omo ales" for your principal to actually win.
3
1
45
@taadelodun Wow, what are the odds that a prominent world leader is planning to implement ideas similar to what I've been working on in the background for years?. Just goes to show once again that ideas are like radio waves (well, now that I think about it what are ideas if not brain waves?).
1
4
51
@j_joboru @cchukudebelu Yoruba will vote one of their own but Hausa-Fulani will vote the one that is not their own 🤡.
1
0
49
@PeterObi Welcome to my state of origin, your excellency 🤩. Though I'm not currently resident in my home state, Kogi, my PVC will be used to "vote Peter Obi, vote LP" in the 2023 presidential election in Nasarawa, my state of residence. So help me God 🙏.
2
4
47
@deity__god @Mrczarr I don't think it's a "loophole" per se, considering the holy grail of AI is for it to attain human-level intelligence, which is the purpose of the Turing Test. A human would do the same in the given circumstances, except the human no know abi e no get "heart".
3
0
50
@Chude__ I think we have the emergence of Gen Z into Nigerian politics to thank for this. These ones are cosmopolitan and thus can't be blackmailed with "Omo Ale" rhetorics. They replaced partisanship with "stanship". They are "tribal" but theirs is based on personality, not ethnicity.
0
7
48
@MayomiAsuku2 @atiku @IAOkowa You're an "Ijaw man" and you're saying this? 🤦. Did your people "benefit immensely" after your feudal lord conspired to scheme out your "kinsman" in 2015?.
2
7
50
@Tee_Classiquem1 @adeyanjuCruise You people are still not done shifting blames?. Because GEJ wasn't "exceptional" you now settled for "reformed democrat"?. The antecedents of this man was out there for everybody to glean and take proper action but no, "anything but GEJ"😑. Own your mistakes. Stop deflecting.
0
4
48
@AbdulMahmud01 I don't think this could have been "written" by a whole SAN & AGF because of the numerous grammatical and lexicon gaffes. Even if he's too "big" or "busy" to write his own words, he has access to writing, editing, and proofreading hands to ensure that his words come out correct.
2
3
48
@ellacious9 @ChifeDr What do you want to hear from him that would make you unmute him later?.
1
0
49
@Esteembehemoth You're so very on point. But like you said in your follow-up tweet, if pikin dey call im own papa drunkard, im playmates sef go follow join dey call im papa drunkard.
1
1
42
It's pretty easy for a random "passersby" (or "wakapass", as we say here) to be seduced by the faux "neutrality" of this tweet here. However, a "seasoned" observer of the Nigerian political space since the advent of the fourth republic in 1999 will easily see through it all.
While I understand that we all hate injustice and brazen levels of corruption, I want to beg the Presidential candidate of LP, Peter Obi to kindly put out a statement to rein his supporters. Harassing Judges and employees of CSU is honestly not the way to win people over.
5
15
47
@theSavage_much @asemota Those in the know keep telling you guys that Anambra before PO was uncannily at the point where Nigeria is today. He contested with the dark-horse APGA, became the governor as a lone ranger with the HoA being almost 100% PDP, got kicked out twice, reclaimed his mandate both times.
1
1
47
@Sports_Doctor2 Me that one Obidient in Karu LGA was preaching one Zaza like that for SDP, like he's a closet Obidient and all that. When I got to the booth, I tried to remember whether he said HoR or Senate. Las Las, I just said "f**k it!" and went all kamikaze on LP abeg 😅.
2
4
45
@FabszekOaikhena @big_klaw One of them here said Remi is from Ogun State and Seyi's wife is Lebanese, can you imagine? 😹.
10
0
39
1
0
42
@FrankZephyr1 As if the pipelines constructed from the crude oil source in the Niger Delta all the way to Kachia Road are not "softer" targets for the same "vandals"😑.
1
4
42
@____sammyy Na dat one pain you pass?. What about the one that he "codeined" himself into a 3-day coma 😭.
4
2
44
Like a few others, I screamed and screamed about this matter, but since na small account almost nobody paid attention. Well, I pray this doesn't affect our chances significantly at the polls sha.
4
31
43
@MasterPackerPut @VictorIsrael_ I doubt they will "stop" Abati. The Oga PataPata of Arise (and also ThisDay) is a core PDP member. Now that I think of it, the relationship between Arise TV and Channels TV are like that of CNN and Fox News. They are counterweights to each other.
1
3
38
@SadiqMaunde It's not a mistake, it's called "differentiation" or "unique selling proposition". If he's inaccessible like what we're used to with the status quo politicians, then why are we here?. Remember, the opposition & their supporters are trying very hard to portray him as "one of them".
2
5
39
@Barthiwu Well, since Odense has blocked you, me I've followed you (and so will many others). Welcome to the club 🤝.
2
0
40
PDP forcing out PO and yet expecting the usual SE bloc votes and the potential neutrals votes in 2023 is like an "influenza" unfollowing you on Twitter but confident that you won't do the same.
0
13
39
@preencess_vicky @mickiebrownkie @EUinNigeria @UN @UN_Spokesperson @ilo @HillaryClinton @MaEllenSirleaf @realDonaldTrump @Brexit Silver and gold I have not to give. But please accept my humble "follow".
2
0
41
@drfatima84 You people still don't get it. When you guys put Buhari there in 2015 we tried to tell you the consequences you tagged us "Wailing Wailers" but no be everybody e touch?. If una like go put 🦇 for there next year, pim like this you no go hear from me. Na to activate Plan B kawai!.
3
1
40