Hand to god, the woman in front of me at Chipotle asked the guy working there what kind of beans he would ~~recommend~~ and he looked at her with eyes deader than a Sam Raimi film, sighed deeply, and said “ma’am... they all beans”

@hammerito Tell them to use the battering ram bc I’m too weak to open the door myself

@hammerito I’ve never done or even heard of any targeted accessory work. My upper body workouts are all simply 8 sets of decline benching the bar to failure

@ThirdLegHung @emptytesticles You can too, don’t limit yourself

@Retribution1st @RobbieGramer If our government is so concerned about that why are they proposing massive cuts to Medicaid, a domestic program?

@KoehlerMaggiek @Ctrumpwasright @RobbieGramer I bet you wonder where the sun goes at night

@mitchstadt @jessesingal Girl that’s his JOB he wasn’t like on Zillow or something

@jailbreakscreen @KathyforMD @TorreySmithWR She lacks the capacity for shame

@hammerito I’ll show him increased knee pain

@Nathan_Redacted Beautiful pictures! Do you know why it’s lit in those colors?

Me sending dozens of detailed financial disclosure and reporting documents to DFAS for the love of the game:

@joenopain @emilyopilo @justin_fenton Please check what the current administration is doing to the federal Inspectors General

@philatticus Movie prop glass (for stunts where it needs to shatter) is often made from sugar

@CouncilmanYitzy @BaltimoreFire @LBHealth Also by both MHA and HCAHPS (Medicare) data, Bayview has longer wait times. Bizarre to single out one hospital here as if all hospitals in the city and STATE do not have to DRASTICALLY improve

I Am Legend ass alert

@hammerito I thought they were mad about “body shaming?”