Nicole Melzack (they/them)
@nmelzack
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Spacecraft Engineer 🚀 Making batteries better 🔋 PhD Candidate 👩🔬 DID | Migraines | Chronically Unreliable | #ActuallyAutistic 🏳️🌈♿
Oxfordshire
Joined August 2011
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Me: don't call people the r word. It's ableist and not cool
Society: okay I'll call them a moron
Me: no, that's also ableist and not okay
Society: well how am I meant to insult people based on their cognitive skills and perceived intellect
Me: you're not. That's the point.
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Self diagnosis is often the first step to professional diagnosis.
People may think they broke a bone because the symptoms match that diagnosis. They go to the Dr to make sure. Same with ADHD, autism, infections, and most other conditions.
SELF DIAGNOSIS PRECEDES DIAGNOSIS
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Maybe the modern way of schooling actually doesn't suit ANY neurotype. Maybe the horrific policies that enforce obedience and compliance above learning and understanding. I think any neurotype would suffer in this. 1/2
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The acephobia around at the moment is awful, denying the existence of asexuality.
Just because you don't understand the difference between libido and sexuality, or don't understand how someone can be asexual doesn't mean it isn't real and valid.
Pride is for EVERY QUEER PERSON
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Did I just ask for the university to give all their PhD students a 'cost of living increase bonus' on top of their next stipend payment. Yes. Was it laughed at? Also yes.
@PhDVoice
@OpenAcademics
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In my autism diagnosis report it mentions that I didn't seem interested in the assessor, didn't ask questions etc as evidence. But it was an assessment, not a social event, feels weird to expect me to ask questions? Or is that just further evidence in itself?
#ActuallyAutistic
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I'm on benefits. I get PIP.
And sometimes I go for a run.
Sometimes I go to Tesco or Aldi.
I go on holiday - went to Japan recently!
Still disabled though...
Look at that happy disabled ice cream eating face. How dare they!
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The reason no doctor will say "you are disabled now" is ableism. They think disability means giving up. But it doesn't.
It would be so helpful if a doctor would say "you are disabled now, there are benefits you are entitled to, and I will support you in applying"
#NEISvoid
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Realistically for my PhD I work 4 days a week. I have physiotherapy and mental health therapy on one day and there is no way I can really focus after that. And then weekends are needed to rest and get ready for the next week. Am I under-working? Is that a thing?
@PhDVoice
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Insulting folk based on cognitive abilities and/or perceived intellect is 100% ableist, can also be sanist depending on what words you use. You can comment on someone's shitty beliefs and behaviour without inciting hate for those with intellectual disability or mental illness.
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I had a neurodivergent nurse treat me last time I was in A&E. Said I was autistic and she smiled and said she was neurodivergent too. And then made sure the lighting was okay where I was waiting and if I wanted to sit somewhere else etc... things I'd never been asked before :)
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My University seems to be setting up a 'reverse mentoring' scheme, where 'students from diverse backgrounds mentor senior staff about their experience in HE'. Why not hire an EDI consultant instead of putting all the pressure on minoritised folk?
@AcademicChatter
@PhDVoice
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Sorry what? Why can't I go shopping or on holiday if I'm on PIP? It genuinely makes no sense. If I'm disabled am I meant to never leave my house? I just don't even understand the implications here.
Are disabled people not allowed to go shopping or on holiday now? It’s not a coincidence these stories are coming out when the DWPs own figures show there was almost 0% pip fraud last year
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@CaraLisette
Or they are playing some make believe game we don't understand.. I was in Tesco the other day and a parent was angrily telling their child "this is not the place to be a frog" I didn't think the child thought they were a frog, I assumed they were playing a game and jumping around
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It's not about ADHD or autism diagnoses, it's about oppression of children in a place that is meant to encourage learning and exploration. And maybe we need to focus on that, and not about what the actual proportion of neurotypes we have in society are? 2/2
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I'm writing about how overwork is baked into academia, through it's culture and contracts. How it weaponises our 'passion' to make the overwork seem acceptable. I'd love to know of any examples or views people have on this topic
@PhDVoice
@AcademicChatter
@ZJAyres
@DrPetra
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Not saying that people shouldn't get understanding of their neurotype and specific support. But schools don't even support neurotypical kids so what hope do neurodivergent or disabled kids have right now!
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You can't say you're inclusive if you wait for accommodation requests to act. If you make it impossible for people to request accommodations they need. If you make it hard to include people. It's not okay and it's rife in academia.
#AcademicTwitter
#PhDChat
@DisabledAcadem
1/
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A lot of the time if someone is suicidal they aren't actually in crisis. It absolutely sucks, and there should be support, but it's important to understand it isn't always an acute crisis to manage. It's not attention seeking, it's just reality for some to always be suicidal.
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So just chatted to my supervisor about dropping to 80% for my PhD. He said no, but because he doesn't mind if I don't work on Fridays, the work I am producing is still on track, so why get paid less if I'm still doing sufficient work in less time. 1/2
@PhDVoice
@DisInHigherEd
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@josierones
So many people who were part of this documentary have pulled out because of the name. It feels like the feelings of disabled people are being ignored in favour of a title that draws in non-disabled folk. Again disabled people being used as a prop and not respected as a group.
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I would not have gone to a Dr to ask about my symptoms if I didn't already think it was something. People know themselves and can read a list of symptoms and know if it describes them. Often they are right. Sometimes they are wrong. But often they are right.
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I self diagnosed my migraines before they were professionally confirmed
I self diagnosed my ear infection before it was professionally confirmed
I self diagnosed with DID (although didn't actually believe it was true until it was professionally confirmed)
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To those starting a PhD this year - you don't have to accept the overwork culture.
Learn to say no. Learn to cultivate a work-life balance. Learn to self advocate. Learn to plan ahead. Learn to look after yourself.
#AcademicChatter
#PhDchat
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I self diagnosed with anxiety when I was having heart palpitations. I was wrong, it was myocarditis. But I reckon if I wasn't always being gaslit about EVERYTHING being anxiety then maybe I would have had some idea...
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I'm not saying we don't need doctors. We do. I'm just saying often people have some idea of what is going on.
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A year into my PhD and I still love it. This has been the best decision I have made for myself. I am so lucky to have a supportive environment and supervisory team, that I know others don't always have. But I am loving my work.
#AcademicTwitter
@PhDVoice
@unisouthampton
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@AutSciPerson
Ugh, and reducing a life to a 'product' is really gross too. Like this is a whole being with a life and wants and needs, they don't exist as a product they are a member of a family, how dare you treat them with such disrespect. I'm so sorry.
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Psychosis is not an emotion.
A flashback is not an emotion.
Dissociation is not an emotion.
Mania is not an emotion.
Body dysmorphia is not an emotion.
Oh, and yeah, depression is not an emotion.
A rant for
#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek
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This. This is how transphobia is being spread by our politicians. Its hateful, horrific, and its going to lead to yet more hate crimes and worse. I hate living in a country where we are debating peoples right to exist.
They're using "I'm a biological woman" the way anti-gay campaigners used "marriage is between a man and a woman" in the 1990s.
On its face, a benign statement of fact. In context, a clear endorsement of a reactionary political view.
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@MaintenancePod
Babe we need to talk about alt text and making your posts accessible! I frikkin love the podcast but just wish you could be more inclusive
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@DisabledEliza
Even the "are you sure you need captions?" is basically accusing me of faking. Yes. I wouldn't have asked otherwise.
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Yes this sucks. But also I claim the same benefits and can run 5k, well not right now because of injuries and migraines, but sometimes I can run 5k. It doesn't mean everyone is faking.
Disability benefits cheat secretly filmed completing 5k runs
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@latkedelrey
This is the weirdest part of the whole thing. It was so weird. Like oh. Yeah I do feel like I peed. I didn't know that was a feeling that could be felt without actually peeing.
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Reminder that it's mental health awareness week.
Not mental illness,
Don't conflate the two.
If you have a mental illness,
This week's not for you.
#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek
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@sylwestrowicz
I'm doing a PhD. My disabilities impact my ability to work but with certain accommodations I can. Never said I couldn't work. PIP is about ensuring I can live independently with my disabilities.
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Just did some maths
My private therapy costs me £4,160 a year
I've been paying for nearly ten years
I've spent nearly £40,000 on therapy that really should have been free on the NHS.
Ugh. It's amazing how much being mentally ill costs in the UK...
#MadTwitterChat
#MadTwitter
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@strugglingjulie
@DisabledStem
At an old workplace a colleague said 'people who buy pre grated cheese deserve to die' when I replied with 'that's me sometimes' it was met with silence. I went to HR and was told I was overreacting.
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My access needs are captions, recordings, and breaks. I like to know when the breaks will be so I can plan.
But captions distract people and recordings aren't allowed because of confidentiality and too many breaks would mean we won't get through the content. 1/4
@DisInHigherEd
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I email authors asking for advice/lessons learnt from their experiments when I'm thinking of doing something similar. They happily share knowledge.
Why aren't 'lessons learnt' a key part of research papers - or papers in themselves?
@PhDVoice
@OpenAcademics
@AcademicChatter
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I think if we viewed academia as collaborative and not competitive, then being inclusive and accessible would be second nature.
#PhDChat
#DisabilityTwitter
#NEISvoid
@AcademicChatter
@DisabledAcadem
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"If you know someone living with any disability or mental health condition, my best advice is to just believe them. If someone says they can’t do something, you don’t need to question it – disclosing is difficult and people are unlikely to lie about something so stigmatised. 1/2
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It's
#WorldMentalHealthDay
, so yeah look after yourself.
It's not mental illness day - we actually don't have one of those, because that's not palatable enough for the masses.
Mental illness is messy and painful and sticky and debilitating and CANNOT be cured with a cup of tea.
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To whoever is sending my posts to my PhD supervisor, it's a bit weird. I do keep him updated on what's going on, and if you're concerned it's cool if you want to reach out to me personally but like... It does feel weird.
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I have a severe
#MentalIllness
Maybe you wouldn't notice because you've worked with me on a good day. But on a bad day you wouldn't recognise me as the person you know. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, which means my mind has compartmentalised itself 1/6
#MentalHealth
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@BeingCharisBlog
I don't like it. I've started saying "enabled", because I think that draws more attention to the social model of disability. I'm disabled by this environment and someone else is enabled by it.
I think "able" or "able bodied" implies their body is correct, when that's not true...
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Do you include a photo of yourself on your CV/resume? I do, but I realise that because I am a slim, white, youngish woman, this may not be a disadvantage for me personally - but for others it could lead to rejection before an interview depending on the recruiters bias.
@PhDVoice
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@strugglingjulie
@DisabledStem
This was years ago and I remember it so clearly. The others sat around were also silent. Yes it was a 'joke', but it wasn't 'just a joke'. It was an ableist and discriminating disgusting joke. And I was the butt of it. Many others were also the butt of it. I just got to hear it.
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Submitted my first paper three weeks ago and already have the reviews back
AND THEY ARE POSITIVE
Obviously lots of revisions to make but overall I'm so happy!!!!
#phdchat
#phdlife
#AcademicTwitter
@AcademicChatter
@PhDVoice
@DisInHigherEd
@FrontiersIn
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I mean, maybe it takes me less time to do stuff, or I am more efficient and fit things around my medical appointments and being generally chronically ill. But I'm also grateful for his input and glad he is so understanding. 2/2
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Reverse mentoring puts burden on already marginalised people to educate those in positions of power that likely have discriminated against them in the past.
Why is this still a thing and WHY IS IT UNPAID
@DisInHigherEd
@DisabledAcadem
@AutSciPerson
@ZJAyres
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I made a mistake in my recent review paper. I used the incorrect units when reporting on a study, and the author has let me know. I'm grateful they corrected me, and I feel bad for misrepresenting the data, I made a mistake - it happens, I'll sort it.
@PhDVoice
@AcademicChatter
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The idea that the average human needs 2000 calories a day does not come from actual science. It comes from a mixture of people self-reporting how much they think eat in a day, combined with the desire to put an easy number on packages of food to help people do some maths 1/6
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CW suicide
People will have a go about how selfish suicide is and in the same breath talk about the burden on society of people on benefits...which actually implies you'd rather those people died, so would their suicide be selfless?
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@adamfare1996
I think people don't always get that someone who is suicidal may feel good about it, may feel as though they finally have a solution to their problems so might be in a good mood over it. Suicidality presents differently and is interpreted differently by different people
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Hiring a 'diverse' workforce into a culture that systemically works against them just causes harm. You need to change the culture or you are actively harming the people you say you are championing.
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Getting tired of non mental health doctors asking me about my mental health. They seem to believe I should be under MH services and when I say I'm not they assume that's on me - not that I am perpetually discharged with "nah can't help".
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It's
#DIDAwarenessDay
That's
#DissociativeIdentityDisorder
I live with DID. I hate it. It sucks. But I'm not a serial killer, and I'm not a danger to you. I don't have a secret 'evil' alter. I'm just living with trauma and my brain is doing it's thing.
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I made plots this morning.
Weeks of collecting data and I get to make one plot. Feels like such an anti-climax.
They look good though.
#LabLife
#PhDChat
@AcademicChatter
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@KatyElphinstone
I mean maybe it is but also it seems like a weird time to expect small talk anyway
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Diverse staff means better outcomes for patients.
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Every week in therapy I have to sit there and 'scan' my body and figure out how I feel and honestly most of the time I'm like... Uh... Fine...?
Am I doing it wrong????
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Mid haircut...
Hairdresser: You're so small, I bet you can eat anything without having to worry.
Me: well I'm vegan and have allergies so I do worry/check foods often
Haird: that's not what I meant
Me: I know, but I'm not going to have a fatphobic chat with you just to be polite
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To clarify, PIP didn't pay for the holiday, I know many people can't afford these types of holidays and I don't want to give that impression.
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1. Not everyone can work, capitalism isn't the natural human state
2. Being disabled sucks, benefits suck, being shat on by articles like this suck.
3. ATFHJGHHHHG
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So I've read some of the initial outcomes of some 'pilots'.
All they say is 'anecdotal response is positive'
Response from who? The minoritised folk scared to speak up for fear of being dismissed, or the senior staff benefitting from their emotional labour?
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If we're not exhausted, dissociating, or dealing with a headache, we're trying to fight for accommodations.
If I get a PhD it will be in spite of the system, not because of it. And I hate that, what a waste of energy.
@PhDVoice
@DisInHigherEd
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Hi
@PizzaExpress
your Gloucester Road location didn't have any calorie free menus and made me feel silly for asking. Its discrimination under the Equality Act not to provide calorie free menus, It impacts those with disordered eating/eating disorders
@RachelCDailey
@adamfare1996
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We don't need awareness campaigns telling us to reach out. We need awareness campaigns telling mental health professionals to meet us where we are when we do, to listen, support, and be there to help instead of scald, smirk and 'what do you expect me to do about that'
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One of the worst parts of crisis teams saying "just use your skills" is that they need to remind us of those skills, and stay with us while we practise the skills, and then debrief with us. Saying "just use your skills" is so dismissive. It's your job to help us use them.
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I've written my thesis dedication. And it's motivating me to keep going.
@TraumaPhDandMe
#AcademicMentalHealth
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I believe this is the main reason people don't mask. I've felt bad wearing a mask while with people, when they aren't, like I'm somehow embarrassing them. That pressure not to embaress someone is strong, especially when disabled folk are told to prioritise other's comfort.
To be clear: *It doesn't matter what other people are doing. You are not other people.*
I do wonder how many people aren't wearing masks because they don't want to *look weird.*
I believe in you. You can do it. Looking weird is okay, I promise, I've been looking weird forever.
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@cmaccoinnich
Thank you for sharing. When I was psych inpatient I was told to cover my scars by nurses so as not to upset other patients. The stigma just won't go away. But what can I do? It's warm, I want to be in the world. Most of this body is scars, am I not meant to do anything anymore
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Create the inclusive environment, use captions, use accessible fonts, consult accessibility consultants before you 'need to'. Make yourself inclusive and accessible - then you will actually be that. Make it easy and encouraged to request and implement extra accommodations. 2/
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@RussInCheshire
I love all the work you do, but I have to suggest that you add alt text to your images, especially these kind of images with so much information on them. People who use screen readers are missing out. Yes it's a bit of extra work, but it's important.
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@Imani_Barbarin
I also want to add that if they actually did think it was psychological they would try and find help and treatment for that too. But that often doesn't happen either. Psychological and psychiatric issues are real, they may not apply in this situation but they are real
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@adamfare1996
It's important that after every question PIP asks you add 'safely and repeatedly' to actually answer the real question. How far can you walk safely and repeatedly is a very different question but it's actually what they should be assessing
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@DisabledEliza
As a vegan I am really sorry that that's happened. It's okay if this society and your disabilities make it hard or impossible to be vegan. It's okay if you can't be vegan. Xxxx
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Waiting until you are asked means that you expect historically (currently) stigmatised and marginalised groups to make themselves vulnerable, make themselves risk discrimination, in order to be treated as human.
And even when they do that, their requests are ignored and they 3/
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This
#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth
remember mental health does not equal mental illness. Yoga is great for overall wellbeing - but it won't cure
#depression
or
#anxiety
or trauma related conditions. Suggesting it does can be insensitive.
@PhDVoice
@DisabledStem
@AcademicChatter
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As a disabled student (and I presume for many minoritised folk) it often seems like the burden is on us to make sure the people living with the most comfort remain comfortable. This often means sacrificing our health, safety and self-worth. It sucks.
#DEHEM21
#DEHEMChat
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@adamfare1996
What was that even in response to?
We aren't fighting our disabilities, we're hanging out with them, chilling with them, living alongside them. How can we be stronger than ourselves.
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Captions can be optional on many platforms online.
Recordings can be password protected, or people can sign confidentiality agreements.
And if you don't have any breaks planned then maybe you need to think about the course in general. That's ridiculous.
There Fixed it. 3/4
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I sent an email to my buildings mailing list to ask that they remind contractors not to block accessible spaces. A response I got?
"Dear Nicole,
kindly leave me out of these EDI campaigns.
Best wishes"
How patronising and dismissive. FFS
#AcademicAbleism
@PhDVoice
#DEHEM21
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Teaching suicide prevention in schools makes no sense. Suicide prevention is not an individual persuit. It is letting kids be trans without fear of their parents finding out. It's not shaming body size. It's being treated with respect, being paid, housed and fed.
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As someone who takes a lot of time off for generally being unwell, I am so proud of myself that I had two manuscripts accepted today. Proof that accommodations, understanding and support mean disabled academics can and DO achieve!
@DisInHigherEd
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@Shrink_at_Large
People don't understand what exclusion feels like . It's when people assume they're talking about everyone, but they don't mean you. They don't see you as part of 'everyone'.
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Just some photos of this beautiful artwork that now lives on our body!!!
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