Me (to incarcerated client): why haven’t you called me?
Client: so, I didn’t know when you make your first call from jail that the name you say on the recording was permanent. I called my girl and said it was “Love Machine.” I’ve been too embarrassed to call anyone else.
None of the legal dramas ever show the part where the client calls the defense attorney at 6:45 am on Christmas Eve to see if he thinks the judge will let him take his ankle monitor off.
@F_Botha_USA
Im a lawyer, not a comedian. It was an actual exchange this morning in a criminal court in Houston where I practice every day.
Your efforts to piss on a moment of levity are admirable, though.
So
@kimoggforda
says defense attorneys are “enjoying the delay” caused by the pandemic. Seriously? Yeah, I’m having a blast with all my clients that can’t get their day in court. Shame on you.
The Superintendent of Barbers Hill ISD took out a full page ad in the
@HoustonChron
to defend suspending an African American student from school because his hair was too long. Wow. Just wow.
The face you make when you tried to sink all of your fellow Democrats through a series of press conferences, dishonest claims and attempted indictments . . . But they all got elected anyway. Can’t wait for 2024,
@kimoggforda
@GraceWhiteKHOU
@CenterPoint
@KHOU
I got an email saying that they were working in my neighborhood at around 11 am. Just received another saying to prepare to be without power for several days.
Seems like there is no rhyme or reason to what they are sending out at this point.
I’m thinking of creating a Kim Ogg Credit Card. With a
@kimoggforda
Credit Card you can make as many charges as you want and never have to worry about ultimately being held responsible for any of them.
This is incredibly misleading and buries the lead. He was denied bond on two of the charges which means he isn’t getting out. Period. The article is designed to create outrage and sadly, it does. It is grossly misplaced.
So
@kimoggforda
is handing out food and conveniently helping people register to vote at the same time. Her assistant DA’s don’t have to come but they will be evaluated accordingly if they don’t. So, support her campaign or be punished. Seems legal.
Rumor around the Harris County CJC is that lame duck 338th Judge Ramona Franklin is being considered by
@POTUS
for a Federal Bench,
Good God. Did they not even run her name through Google?!?!? She's an absolute disaster as a judge.
Write your congressperson!
@MWatkinsTrib
@keribla
Hmmm. The Law of Parties in Texas says that anyone who solicits, encourages, directs, aids or attempts to aid a criminal offense can be charged with the same offense. I wonder if that makes
@HotzeHealth
nervous.
Female inmate gets case dismissed. Other female inmates clap for her because she gets to go home.
Male inmate gets case dismissed. Other male inmates turn to their respective lawyers and tell them that they suck.
So, to summarize,
@ReElectDAKimOgg
hates
@LinaHidalgoTX
so she uses public funds to hire a crony (and disgraced former prosecutor) Rachel Palmer Hooper with the
@GOP
to come up with some BS charges against Hidalgo.
Me: I need your e-mail address to give to the probation officer.
Client: TELLS ME ADDRESS
Me: I'm going to need you to get a new e-mail address before I give it to the probation officer.
@alanalda
I was in 4th grade and it was the first time my parents let me stay up past 8:30 on a school night to watch. And then I started crying at that last scene. Remember it like yesterday.
Man, this is crazy and concerning. It’s like we should all create family passwords. I got a call once from a dipshit claiming my wife and kid were in an accident. Luckily, they were with me at the time and I knew it was bullshit. AI can be terrifying.
@kimoggforda
You shouldn’t be outsourcing the JP job. A lot of prosecutors learned how to try jury trials in the JP courts and develop our skills. Sad to see (yet again) how little having an experienced prosecutor means to you.
@houstonpolice
HPD: in the interest of transparency, we will give a statement so no one thinks anything improper happened.
Twitterverse: this can only mean that something improper happened.
HPD: sigh.
#LeaveChiefFinnerAlone
@markwstephens
@nonsequiteuse
@HoustonChron
There are some of us who believe that those rules that are made to enforce another person’s idea of what is right or appropriate are bullshit rules. Rules should keep us from harming each other. After that, they are just one group screwing with another because they can.
Dear Deputy Constable from a Precinct That Shall Remain Nameless. If you are going to list a busted headlight as your probable cause for a stop, you might want to make sure your dash cam doesn’t catch the vehicle with completely functioning headlights first.
@ASFleischman
I saw a lawyer that I hadn’t seen in over 20 years the other day and remembered I really didn’t like him. I couldn’t remember why. I just knew that I didn’t.
I’ve decided that selecting a jury is kind of like getting a new puppy. You select it with the hope that it will be a loyal guard dog for you but in the end you’ll settle for one that just won’t crap in your house so much that you have to move.
Ten years ago this morning I got fired (for the second time) from HCDA for things written on my blog. It didn’t feel all that great back then but in retrospect, it may have been one of the best things to ever happen to me!
The moral of this story is that when prosecutors decide that a judge doesn’t fit their definition of “fair,” they have far more leverage than the defense bar or any other random citizen. I guess if you can’t win the game, blame the referees.
For the past two years, Harris County DA Kim Ogg has been trying to kick misdemeanor judge Franklin Bynum off the bench for what she considers "unprofessional and irredeemable bias against the State of Texas and its prosecutors.”
So to avoid an appearance of impropriety on the Hidalgo investigation, Kim Ogg is turning it over to a politician currently on a felony Pre-Trial Intervention who is also currently in a law suit against Hidalgo?
#SeemsLegit
Twitterverse: People should follow the rule of law. All of the rules of law. No excuses.
Defense Attorneys: how about the presumption of innocence?
Twitterverse: Not that one.
@ThisIsKyleR
I’m a criminal defense attorney and I’ve had clients acquitted of murder on self-defense grounds on multiple occasions. None of them used the horrible experience of taking a human life to try to be famous. They all tried to put it behind them forever.
I had the opportunity of working on this case for
@ColdJusticeTV
with
@SieglerKelly
This guy is one of the most frightening suspects we have ever come across.
"Cold Justice" helped Lawrence County law enforcement conduct its investigation into Timmons and the 1988 slaying of Cynthia Smith, Kelly Siegler told the News-Leader on Tuesday afternoon.
ME: Good news, your case is getting dismissed.
CLIENT: Aw man, thank you, Mr. Newman. I'm not going to lie, I was going to cuss you out before you told me that. I've got some anger issues.
It takes a lot of guts to receive treatment for depression or any mental health-related illness. It takes even more guts going public with it, knowing that your political enemies will attack you for it. Keep your head up
@LinaHidalgoTX
. You will get through this.
Strong endorsement of
@SeanTeareforDA
from the
@HoustonChron
We endorse Sean Teare in the Democratic primary for Harris County District Attorney (Editorial)
I want to thank
@SheriffEd_HCSO
and the deputies at 701 N. San Jacinto. Had a client in custody who was in danger and being prevented by other inmates from seeking help. Called the jail and they took care of the situation immediately.
During jury deliberations on a Continuous Sexual Abuse case today, my client mentioned to me that he was parked at a meter. Appreciate his confidence in the outcome! Glad it turned out as he anticipated and he drove away before the meter expired.
Watching
@kimoggforda
seek legislation to speed up murder and capital murder cases for trial is the definition of irony since the overwhelming cause of delays for those types of cases is the
@HarrisCountyDAO
not being ready or having not turned over discovery on those cases.
When I think of just the mere possibility of my 7 year old getting Covid because grown ass adults who are eligible to get the vaccine chose not too, my annoyance with anti-vaxxers shifts to rage.
Pretty damning evidence that
@ReElectDAKimOgg
buried a legitimate investigation into Jared
@woodfill
to protect him. Between that and hiring
@GOP
‘s general counsel, she sure does a lot of special favors for the Republicans.
(1)
@ReElectDAKimOgg
claims her investigations are apolitical & she follows the evidence. Here is a Federal Judge’s findings that helped kick off an investigation she conducted on Jared
@woodfill
. But a grand jury never got to hear it. Why? Keep reading.
#Comicpalooza
tickets: $70
Photo op with cast of
#TheMandalorian
: $250
Lightsaber: $75
Wait in Line to Have Picture: 1.5 hours
Having your child look like he’s about to strike down four lovely actors and actresses (and possibly his father) with his new lightsaber: Priceless
Man, if
@GregAbbott_TX
, the most science-denying governor and chief
@realDonaldTrump
sycophant is saying there is a statewide mandatory mask order, shit must be really really bad. If only he had done something similar two months ago before it got this far.
#fail
@FOX26Houston
Re-files are not “new charges.” This is irresponsible reporting. These are technical changes to existing charges. I can’t believe y’all don’t know that.
I got an angry lecture from a prosecutor in a smaller county today who confused “the way we do things here” with the actual law. I refrained from being obnoxious and pointing out that I had watched her get sworn into the Bar last November.
@JJWatt
I hope you never underestimate what you’ve meant to the city and to the kids and families in it. You exemplify the best of what the NFL has to offer and we’ve been proud to call you one of us for 10 years. I hope you get the championship you deserve.
The Harris County Commissioners are voting tomorrow on extending the lease for jury selection at NRG for after the rodeo and through the summer. This makes no sense. The threat level is down and there is no reason NOT to return to picking juries in the courtroom.
I’m about to move all of my suits out of my bedroom closet into a storage closet. I have no doubt that the second I do this, the COVID crisis will end immediately. You’re welcome, America.
Me: Officer, you took my client's money and cell phone without a warrant and let him go. What's going on?
Cop: You can make an open records request, but there will be a procedure you have to follow.
Me: Speaking of procedures you have to follow . . .
And by the way, maybe as the elected District Attorney you shouldn’t be supporting methods of testifying that violate an accused’s right to confront witnesses. Just a thought.
Just had a talk with
@kimoggforda
's 1st Assistant
@VivianKingTV
who took time in the middle of the coronavirus crisis at the Office and yell at me for 11 minutes about criticizing her on Twitter. Apparently, I'm "evil and trying to damage the community." Nice!
The best judge I ever practiced in front of was Judge Caprice Cosper of the 339th.
When I was a prosecutor, she told me: “There are two types of defendants in this business - those we are scared of and those we are mad at. It would behoove you to learn the difference.”
The plan to start jury selection at NRG Arena is getting closer to becoming a reality despite the COVID crisis becoming more dangerous by the day. I'm hoping
@LinaHidalgoTX
will do something to stop that plan.
Oh, and if your Assistant D.A.’s weren’t sitting around worrying about pissing you off with a lower rec on a non-violent offense, maybe they could clear the runway for more serious cases.
From a police report: "I called the DA's office and spoke with ADA **** who gave me authorization to make forced entry into the apartment to interview the suspect and get his statement."
#UmWhat
#SeemsLegit
#Wow
I’m workshopping a couple of slogans for the card:
1. The Kim Ogg Card - it’s not safe to leave home while she’s got it; or
2. The Kim Ogg Card - Who’s in her wallet?
Maybe
@kimoggforda
shouldn’t be blaming judges for public safety issues when she’s the one who ran off all the prosecutors who knew how to prosecute serious cases.
I don’t get people saying both candidates were terrible last night.
@JoeBiden
was trying to have an intelligent debate with a petulant 3-year-old and somehow that reflects poorly on Joe? Give me a break.
This is Crimestoppers’ Andy Kahan, in conjunction with Fox 26 deliberately misleading the public on the law. This defendant was out on bond and he plead to a PSI (Pre-Sentence Investigation) hearing. When that happens, the case is reset pending the hearing.
Harris County judge allows convicted murderer to remain free on bond to get haircut
By allowing a convicted murderer to remain free pending sentencing puts law enforcement at risk if he fails to show up for sentencing
This is reality
20 years ago, I asked
@ColdJusticeTV
‘s Johnny Bonds to autograph a copy of The Cop Who Wouldn’t Quit for me and my then-wife. She got the copy in the subsequent divorce. Had lunch with him today and he replaced it for me.
My 7-year-old just ran in from outside, yelled “Ice Cream Truck!” and grabbed my wallet. He fished a $20 bill out, ran out the front door yelling “I got a $20 for everyone!” Apparently he’s decided to treat the entire neighborhood.
Pro-Tip to Attorneys logging into a Zoom docket: if you just logged into a room that already has 20 people logged in and the judge asks “Who’s next?”, it isn’t you.
So
@ReElectDAKimOgg
‘s partner apparently voted under Kim’s name on accident.
I’m sure that the conspiracy theorists will be out in droves in under an hour.
No word on whether or not Rachel Hooper has launched an investigation yet to see if Hervis Rogers is involved.
Harris County District Attorney Kim Ogg went into Love Park Community Center Tuesday morning to cast a ballot for her own primary race — only to be told someone had already voted in her name, according to spokesperson Michael Kolenc.
Prosecutor: since we are on the eve of trial, we are revoking our previous ridiculous offer.
Me: we already declined it.
Prosecutor: yeah, but now it’s like super revoked.
Me:
Pro Tip: if you are a prosecutor who just got a guilty verdict, don’t ask to have the jury polled.
It wasn’t my trial but I was in the audience. The look on the judge’s face was priceless.