SeaSnake ³⁵
@moyodre
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“never will I leave you, never will I forsake you”
dtx
Joined June 2009
I really gotta be there for my children so they don’t grow up making staged skits on social media.
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They might as well have served their initial sentences, they’d be done by now.
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Your WCW is on Snapchat, acting like she doesn’t know her friend is recording her walking. on her own Snapchat account. She’s 29.
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That’s you and 6lack’s problem
MY NAME IS PRONOUNCED NOTES. IT IS NOT “NOT 3sss” OR “NOT 3 S”. .
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Hotel room service on February 15th looking at y’alls rose petals all over the place
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Coworker passed away over the weekend, we were informed during a meeting, after 1 minute of shock, the meeting continued.
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That random guy asked Kaka to cut back to him and God took all sports away indefinitely.
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Y’all pray for jobs you’re unqualified for then go ahead and get upset your manager doesn’t know what he’s doing. He said that prayer too.
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1. Migraine .2. Hypertension.3. Stress.4. 👩🏾: Should I come over?. 🧔🏾: Yes. 👩🏾: But do u want me to comeover?
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Niggas sell 3 hats on instagram and start tweeting how 9-5 people are settling for less.
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make I use my own leg enter underground for Borno? Lmao.
This is underground pedestrian walkway in Maiduguri, Borno State, Nigeria 🇳🇬
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A black footballer with a black wife. RT for goodluck
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When you have the worst wife, worst side chic, dumbest son, worst lawyer, and the worst business partner in history
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Apparently, a lot of people don’t know that after a guy proposes with an engagement ring, she’s supposed to gift him an engagement watch within 30 days. A wristwatch valued at no more than 60% of the ring value she got.
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21,000 American dollars and you no even enter exam hall. That’s parental abuse.
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US troops.
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Tristan Thompson hasn’t had a basketball-related headline since he was drafted.
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I don’t plan on cooking my phone sooooooo this is useless information to me.
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Thiago plays like every Nigerian guy that plays midfield down your street.
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How many have you bought for no reason so far?.
I’d rather buy a man a Rolex for no reason than buy it as an engagement gift because again why???.
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Fellas, if you need some space, just tell her to get braids, she gonna be there all day.
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35 women “showered a man” with gifts worth $926.00.
A Japanese man has been arrested after reportedly dating more than 35 women at the same time in order to get birthday gifts from all of them. He gave each woman a different date for his birthday, ensuring a constant stream of gifts through the year.
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The main character syndrome is strong in me because I can’t believe AFCoN went on without Nigeria. I expected them to cancel it.
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Longest I can be vegan in Nigeria is 12 hours, cos once I smell suya at 7pm, it’s a wrap.
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“How far?” is the best Nigerian slang bc it has absolutely nothing to do with distance.
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Imma keep it real with you Chief, Nobody thought this was London, Dubai or Vegas
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I just know when a woman is about to cheat.
A person in 2 months can make you feel what a person in 2 years couldn’t. Time means nothing, character does.
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TL went from “I can’t cook for my boyfriend” to “why can’t I cook for your boyfriend?”. It’s crazy out here.
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She lived a Royal life for 96 years, died in one of her many castles and you think that’s karma?. She literally won life.
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I’m begging you to leave us alone.
I have a story,. I almost broke up with my then-girlfriend, my now forever wife, because I felt that our interests weren’t same. I thought I wanted someone who loved everything I loved, and had same interests as me. Looking back, I was foolish.
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When your girl creates a fake account and you DM that account.
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Harry Kane took all Spurs penalties, sacrificed his daughter and stole his teammate’s goal but still couldn’t beat Salah to the golden boot.
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My grandma and my great grandma. They're 67 and 87. Black don't crack
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Only ONE of those damn finals featured Messi. This is how history is revised.
For the first time since 2013, the Champions League final will be without Ronaldo or Messi.
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There’s no description of a Nigerian woman’s ideal man that you can’t use to describe a mugu.
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I appreciate the humor in this, but this is really Twitter in 2015
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There’s no justification to making your own pasta from scratch, grab a box in the store and stop acting crazy.
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Alex Iwobi could have been on England’s bench with Oxlade starting over him but now he’s sent Nigeria to Russia. Thank you Alex.
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Messi looking at Semedo’s international medal in the Barca dressing room
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Good morning everybody except Nigerian politicians and their families, you've stolen enough money to buy your own good morning machine.
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I feel like you should have an adult around you, all the time.
I think we should have A380s that fly between african cities like Lagos and Abuja. People stand in the plane (no seats), and it can carry 2,000 to 3,000 people in one journey at $7 a trip.
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My male intuition is tingling and that just means one of my old tings is about to move on. I better text her.
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If I had an extra $44b, I would buy this app and make sure all Nigerians are removed.
As a lady, you cant settle for a man with 800k as salary in lagos. One wig and your man’s salary is finished baby girl.
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Twitter said the guy that presented DNA test results to his wife should have just accepted the kid. So I don’t come here for reasonable takes.
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It’s thunder that’ll fire Dr Umar.
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These women had the nerve to form a victims’ association. I say he’s the victim.
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This nigga wander into the wrong neighborhood during Sallah, the story will be different.
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“I don’t have a big bum bum or nice breasts but my personali. ”
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My boy’s babe used to look at me funny because everytime he wanted to go play an away match he’ll say “Moyo got arrested again, gotta go bail him”.
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You login into twitter and someone says he pities people born into wealth because they won’t experience struggle. Lmfao I reallllllllly hate this place.
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Tinubu has been siphoning money from the Lagos State bank account for 2 decades and this toll gate money for one week is why they murdered civilians. This changes everything.
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You tryna get out of Valentine’s Day dinner with that other girl? . I have positive Covid test results for just $250. DM.
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6 years ago today, I signed the dotted line. It’s been an amazing journey so far.
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Eat the bag then
This guy in my dm talking about he wants to buy me lunch, I just bought myself a Birkin Bag.
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“You need a certain type of intelligence to listen to Brymo’s music”. Brymo himself:.
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There’s absolutely no way that hard work is my purpose, my life is for enjoyment.
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Knowing how Jonah Hill's weight fluctuates, these pictures could be from the same day.
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OgbeniDipo: The time you’re using to celebrate Nigeria’s victory could have been used to acquire a professional certificate.
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If Jose can play Carrick, Pogba and Matic with Rashford and Martial. ok now the ladies have stopped reading. Fellas, we need to regroup. These women are tryna fuck shit up.
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I’ve done my fair share of dishes during quarantine, there’s nothing worse than washing dishes with leftovers in the sink 😖. This is a game changer!
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I call it the Mona Issa.
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