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@madsagascar

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4K
Following
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Statuses
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🧛🏻‍♀️ life is hard wear a helmet 🎤 @lastgoodthingil 🫵🏻 (she/her)

Chicago, IL
Joined April 2021
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@madsagascar
mads
18 days
keep up ⬇️
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
oh shit i forgot about the Fog that Kills Boys.
@HKatTimes
HK 🦅
2 months
women: “I feel so unsafe walking home alone at night.”. average male experience walking back home:
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
honestly if barry keoghan cheated on sabrina carpenter after “please please please” she should be able to kill him on stage at her next show.
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
if you see a therapist every week to vent about random shit and update them on your current situationship and you don’t have, like, severe mental illness, you are being scammed.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
there’s a lot of “if i was this bartender id give them bud lights” or “i would’ve dumped bar mat juice into their glass” in these quotes and like. i feel compelled to remind everyone that some people in the service industry like people and enjoy entertaining like this.
@sighyam
yammi
10 months
i asked the mixologist to make us drinks based on mine and bf’s vibes and this was what he came up with 😭
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@madsagascar
mads
8 months
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@fxcknxggafree_
Supreme Cancer Energy
8 months
Crazy as hell I cant get a new liver bc I drink? 😭😭 healthcare system just pure trash.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
we’re losing the recipe of meeting someone you think is either nothing special or unattractive and then as you get to know them they weirdly become magically the most attractive person you’ve ever seen. this shit is crush 101.
@girliniceburg
🂭
2 months
could never get in to this because she’s SO much prettier than him and he looks like the concept of a guy.
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
why does trader joe’s always have the most insane recalls like oh sorry there’s permanent marker in the soup dumplings. we got rocks in our frozen meatballs. what’s next you got a printer in cartridge in the everything bagels. the fuck you guys doing over there.
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
just to be clear like real therapy isnt meant to be forever. its meant to give you a toolbox to handle your life and problems and then once you have a handle on it you can scale back and return if needed. what a lot of you are doing is just like, having a friend.
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
like i think so many people could get the same experience they get through their therapy at a “psychic” who charges $50 a session to read palms from her garden unit studio apartment.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
steven lim at watcher hq last week
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
not saying that bartenders who don’t want to do stuff like this aren’t good just like this is clearly a bar where they accommodate these kinds of requests and likely hire these kind of bartenders.
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
sorry for being absolutely shredded and full of joy while i play ball (orange) with my son
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
[me, a person who is constantly a negative nancy] why are you guys being so negative!.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
what stardew valley fishing with no mods does to a mfer
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
started a new job and now i dress like an adult
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
i’m really glad i was a full blown self sufficient adult when this happened. people even 2-3 years younger than me turned out real weird.
@BNOFeed
BNO News
2 months
5 years ago today: A man in Wuhan, China starts feeling ill, becoming the first confirmed case of COVID-19.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
girlbossing today
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
hows this make you feel white boy
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@robb8rs “i’m never gonna love again” is quite literally the most generic lyric any artist could use i’m sorry.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
quarter life crisis haircut the day before my 25th birthday 😗
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
thats not a question
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@elevenpyres this goes hand in hand with people not being able to separate story/character traits that are morally bad and in turn calling the creator sexist/racist/xenophobic/homophobic etc as if by creating a character or world such as that means they are endorsing that behavior.
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
if you think im saying you should only go to therapy if you have severe mental illness, i need you to read every word again slowly.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
:0
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
big day for hair
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
not joking you should ask a doctor about lithium.
@blondieholic
sammi⸆⸉💋
2 months
oh my god i just blacked out and spent $2.5k on guitars. i can't even play guitar
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@madsagascar
mads
4 months
also we’re bringing skorts back this weekend in a big way 🧡
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
took two work calls right here before realizing there’s three naked women behind me
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
brie larson: *portrays captain marvel EXACTLY as characterized in the comics*. sexist marvel neckbeards for literal years: she’s the fucking worst i wish she were dead or a man what a bitch. brie larson: i don’t know if i’ll ever come back clearly everyone hates me. neckbeards:.
@OliverJia1014
Oliver Jia (オリバー・ジア)
2 years
Why does Brie Larson go out of her to be as insufferable and unlikable as possible in so many interviews? Probably has one of the most inflated egos of any actor working in Hollywood today.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
who up basing they ball
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
i wanted to take a fit pic but shrimp wanted to have a photoshoot
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
this looks like the last known photo a documentary about my 1999 disappearance would use
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
ppl be like “due to my new apartment not allowing animals i have to rehome my cat i’ve had for years! ☹️” like. i’d rather live in my car than give up my cats man what the fuck.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
i’m just so fucking sad you guys. i’m sad that people i thought were smart and compassionate are advocating for genocide i’m sad the vast majority of people are supporting a bloodthirsty govt deadset on wiping out an entire population i feel like i’m losing my mind.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
@luv2read13 like omg tell me you’ve never fallen in love before.
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@madsagascar
mads
4 months
this is my legally wedded husband btw everyone leave me alone
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
shana tova bbs
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@madsagascar
mads
8 months
gm chat
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
on the 90s mom shit today
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@madsagascar
mads
1 month
redownloaded just to show you guys how cute i look today. merry christmas and happy hanukkah
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@AsAnActivist modern day movies especially high action superheroy fun movies, have insanely short cuts, so when kids (anyone) is watching, it doesn’t trigger our shorter attn spans bc it feels like it’s always moving foreward. older movies and “art films” that take themselves more seriously1/2.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
you’re telling me someone who writes songs about comphet as a lesbian experienced comphet. youre kidding me. youre joking me right now.
@transleytanked
Transleytanked
2 months
Now lets get to the spicy part. I have contacted some Chapell Roan's friends from high school and they told me that throughout high school she always dated boys but her heart was taken by a particular boy ( I will not give his name)
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
ok fine
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@munvess
Ssefnum
2 months
USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO POST HOW YOU LOOKED IN 2020 VS 2024. LET'S GAURRR!! -rl.
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@madsagascar
mads
11 days
im back but i had to sacrifice my great tweet here it is in case you didnt get to see it
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
preparing for a target/aldi/trader joe’s run at 10am on a sunday is basically like training for the olympics
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@madsagascar
mads
4 months
be honest guys do i look like ronald mcdonald
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@AsAnActivist have longer time between cuts so it feels like the film is dragging. therefore the pacing of a 3 hr long marvel film with an avg cut of every 3 seconds vs a 85 min movie with an avg cut of every 30secs-a minute will make a viewer (younger espesh) feel like it’s moving too slow2/2.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@robb8rs like i’m pretty sure I’VE written that in a song at some point . insane is a big word.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
how i dress. generally
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@millerIowlife
bort (the fuck you guy)
10 months
how i dress
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
fit cheque
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
espresso martini on the patio ‼️⁉️
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
sorry for early morning party rocking
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
duality of man
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@madsagascar
mads
29 days
🙂
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
my life is cool in the way that i can yell ITS BEDTIME and anywhere between 2-5 cats will run to the bedroom.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
uhhhhhhh
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
cautiously breaking out a fall Fit
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@madsagascar
mads
5 months
a lil moment for the skunk🦨
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@madsagascar
mads
5 days
the bond between me and 90s-early 00s skate brand long sleeve tees is frankly unshakable
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
2019 / 2023
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@millerIowlife
bort (the fuck you guy)
1 year
2019/2023
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
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@madsagascar
mads
3 months
can we start doing the blue ones now.
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
ummmm hehe
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
“81 is not that old” is the most insane sentence ive read all day.
@ChiTownSam723
🪷💛🐝Samantha💛🐝🪷
7 months
I never realized just how much this country hates the elderly until the last week. It’s really shameful. And I don’t know what to tell you, but 81 is not that old.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
swelling is mostly done but i look like i lost a fight with a noose lmfao
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
do you see how in their sad pathetic faces they’re so focused on making sure everyone knows they’re dressed differently they’re not even having a good time. not chatting with each other. just ambling along nervously. i don’t strive to feel what either of these people feel.
@wolffdew
The cooking lady
2 months
I wish this was still the standard. now people are wearing pajamas outside
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@madsagascar
mads
6 months
i was heavily depressed and not sleeping at home during summer school going into my freshman year and kept falling asleep in class and my teacher took me in the hall one day to tell me verbatim “you are worthless to me right now” it was wild.
@poisonjr
galer than before
6 months
it's funny how if you're falling asleep every day in high school they'll treat you like you're being rude and weird and not like you're dying and need help.
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@madsagascar
mads
5 months
go crazy!!!!
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@madsagascar
mads
6 months
in a few weeks ill be showing my hair girl a picture of gerard way in 2005 and a picture of goldie hawn in 1987 and telling her to go crazy.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
i need you all to understand that if they’re trying to push “the president can walk 20 feet without doing something weird” as a testament to his ability to run the country that is very very very bad.
@simonateba
Simon Ateba
1 year
SEE IT: President Biden unusually strong today, shows off some vigor. WATCH .
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@AsAnActivist don’t get me wrong i get it i love a fun marvel movie but people shit on some really amazing movies simply because they can’t stay interested in the visual. we’ve all been decreasing our attn spans over time but short form apps like vine and tiktok definitely didn’t help.
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@madsagascar
mads
5 months
hey looks like im not gonna make it in today. yeah its the existential dread again. yeah its gonna be all day.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
i am fucking killing my self
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@madsagascar
mads
1 month
at target playing the game of do i look republican or do i look gay
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@madsagascar
mads
29 days
proof of passionately singing paramore
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@madsagascar
mads
29 days
“that was okay if you like flawless vocals” the best possible fucking compliment ive ever gottsn from the alice’s KJ.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
anybody got any chapstick
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@elevenpyres i think art that’s fairly easy to understand and can be enjoyed by anyone is important and fun to have. but this weird movement of hating anything that is moderately challenging is so depressing esp bc it’s being spearheaded by the younger generation.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take (tiktok pulled it for review because i said i hope i die 😔)
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@madsagascar
mads
11 months
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@Jandies1
John
11 months
Just now sitting down to Dune 2. Packed imax theater. Haven’t seen a worm bucket yet. Guess those guys are all in the bathroom.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
@DonEladio308 @LolOverruled @Klutch_Kitten if that’s someone’s unfortunate view on suicide i really don’t think using a slightly different phrase that means the exact same thing is really going to change their mind on that.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
any excuse to post my favorite picture from our wedding. anyways
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@madsagascar
mads
3 months
yeah if you voted third party or abstained from voting i really dont want to hear from you. ever. about any of this. go fuck yourselves.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
mirror selfie wrapped 2024 (what does this mean?)
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@madsagascar
mads
21 days
unfortunately the only people who truly Get Me emotionally were young men making pop punk in the 2000s.
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@madsagascar
mads
6 months
ANYWAYS!!!!!
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
gm
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@madsagascar
mads
2 years
@AsAnActivist v interesting read on it, and my mistake the avg shot length of a modern movie (as of 2014) is 2.5 seconds vs 12 seconds in 1930.
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@madsagascar
mads
10 months
we’re regressing back to the wave of feminism where men can objectify women however they want and the ~cool~ women will respond like “agreed😍 and also this is me too🤪”.
@TheWapplehouse
Kristi Yamaguccimane
10 months
what it feels like watching a Sydney Sweeney movie:
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
mf got the suds
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@madsagascar
mads
4 months
don’t talk to me or my son ever again
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@madsagascar
mads
5 months
a little commotion for the start of wedding szn
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
endless constant therapy for the sake of going to therapy is not the point of therapy is the only meaning of this tweet. christ.
@madsagascar
mads
7 months
if you see a therapist every week to vent about random shit and update them on your current situationship and you don’t have, like, severe mental illness, you are being scammed.
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@madsagascar
mads
1 year
Please Excuse My Dope Ass Swag
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@madsagascar
mads
3 months
brutal honesty time do we like the pink
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
gonna keep it 100% sending violent and hateful dms to a stranger who had a different opinion than you is not very cognitive behavioral therapy of yall.
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@madsagascar
mads
7 months
ignore every article of my clothing in the background im stepping 🚶‍♀️ out
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@madsagascar
mads
3 years
@eurosievision also married names!! if you’re only calling people by their BIRTH names, why would you refer to someone as their partners last name they legally changed theirs to? 🤨.
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@madsagascar
mads
2 months
@firstDILF looks like normal human woman instead of barbie doll :-(.
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@madsagascar
mads
23 days
i know this is a stupid ass take but it feels weird that were still dealing with this guy. like the social network came out 15 years ago. why hasnt he sold the company and fallen off the face of the earth yet. how is he only 40.
@AFpost
AF Post
23 days
Meta’s Zuckerberg says most companies need more “masculine energy” and have been neutered by “feminine energy.”. Follow: @AFpost
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