ʙᴀᴅᴍᴀɴ
@lyfeisgucci
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ⓘ This user is here for banter, wrasslin, and football.
closer to my dreams.◕
Joined December 2011
"How many KM's have you clocked so far?"."110K"."Yoh, not bad. Im pushing 160K" .I dont even know his name to this day, but I've known him for like 5 months. I saved his number as "Ranger nigga". We linked up every Sunday at this carwash & conversed about tenders & corruption.😭
how do boys start being friends with eachother???.
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Amanga wakho, my sister???
If your friends are hoes nawe you're a hoe bethuna akukho Dolphin ihamba ne giraffes 🤣.
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Her music is not my cup of tea, neither do I fake-listen to her just to fit in, but if there's one thing I'll do, is promote her story, her brand, her rise. It was beautiful to witness. Still is. She's also wearing our country's colors with pride & a good human being overall.
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Look at my pinned tweet.👍🏽.
Is it true that men can be friends for a long time without knowing each other's names?.
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I took her to Tasha's & she rubbed her hands together like a fly & said "Abashwe" when the food arrived. That's when i knew.💔.
"Danko" as a lady?.grounds.
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I bought my first(Ford Ranger) & my parents said congrats. My brother bought a Picanto & they hosted a braai for him. family members flew in from Cape Town. They even slaughtered a cow.
Comments in this thread shocked me. 💔😭why would parents treat their kids like this. 😭 💔. Open this thread >>>
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"Dermatologists are too expensive" trust me, the money you are going to spend over the course of 5 years for skincare that barely works, makes dermatologist money look like peanuts. It's THEIR job, they KNOW exactly what their doing. You guys side with consumerism, and wonder why.
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"Kelvin Momo & Babalwa breaking up is the worst that can happen to me😭💔" you failed all your modules, chowed your NSFAS money & still haven't told your parents, Khensani. You have bigger fish to fry.
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I’m so glad ngiwumuntu obona uthando through izenzo, you could tell me uyangthanda all you want but actions are everything to me🤭.
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"Muff"
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This gent is a stay at home husband bc he lost his job a while back. I linked with him around 11:00 today. He pulled up in his wife's car & guess who was driving? His baby momma from his prior relationship. he was giving her driving lessons while his wife was at work. NIGGAS!🤣.
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Someone said that this is Boss Baby, and I can't unsee it.😭.
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The big guy upstairs got me fr.😭😭😭
Just deposited R14 into my new car savings. God you got me.🙏.
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True. I haven't been the same man since 2021. I have accomplished so much in life since this heartbreak. To think I used to ask for lifts at groove during this era. I WAS that nigga.🗑. Now niggas ask me for lifts.🚗.God bless this woman.👍🏽
we all gotta fall in love with a hoe atleast once. it builds character.
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Me eTaxini as soon as i realize I'm getting close to my destination & I still haven't received my R1.
I am desperate for change.
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Niggas be 31 fighting a 21 year old for buying a Hyundai. Nigga, you were asking for lifts at groove at that age.😭.
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Is it normal for your girlfriend to pass out and fall asleep like this? And only on weekends.
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Once did this with 6 KM's left in my tank & R4 in my bank account. Izintwana kumele zijabule by any means necessary.👍🏽.
“Hello Chery, open the sunroof” won’t bring this much joy to these kids 😂🙏🏾
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I'm not from Pretoria, angisKhulumi isPitori, and my tribalism aside, kea vuma. Ake hutlwi 100% of ntswe bai khulumayo, but labafana baSavile Hip-hop.
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I remember going out of my way to cook for this one hun. I think I made an Shrimp Alfredo Pasta as a starter, then made a lasagna dish. umuntu had to ruin the good thing we had going on by asking "Awunayo iAtchaar?". Never spoke to her ever again.
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You guys are sleeping with McDonald's employees. There's no way.
Been having the toughest week but one thing for sure I know is that @McDonalds_SA will always cheer me up 🥹❤️
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I'll never recover from this.
Fumbled the love of my life. We was supposed to have kids together, man.
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Nothing is wrong about a long distance relationship. Imoshwa yiloh ohlala eGoli.
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I just realised that i dropped R800 about 20 mins ago by a Shell petrol station.💔 Whoever finds it, I hope you use it for something constructive. Take your kid to college, build your mom her dream house or pay off your outstanding car payments.😔.
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Gin tastes like everything is going to be worse. What a horrible concept.
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You can always tell when it's a catfish account. Idk how to explain it, but I don't even have to skim through this account's profile to figure it out.😂.
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Angiyfuni kabi intombazane eDriva iMoto ngeSandla esiy'1. Be a lady, sgebengu ndini.
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" you know that I'm awera, you know that I'm awera, you know that I'm awera way " lmao.😭 to this day, lyrics to this song still remain a mystery.
Define “peak South African music “.
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I'm afraid it's @SpurRestaurant 's fries + Onion rings + The Spur salad & french fry dressing.🥹
what’s the most iconic trio of all time.
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A soccer jersey is all it takes. Men are simple. Idk why it doesn't register.
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We have to draw the line somewhere. I get that it's a collectors item, but R650K is pure madness.
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It's been 5 months since this dark day, and I am finally breaking my silence.
People in pretoria have inkani. You can clearly hear I'm speaking to you in Zulu bese wena ephendula ngesPedi/Tswana. Tf?😭.
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I just deeped that this nigga is actually enjoying all this attention. He's not pissed at all.😭.
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I dont think people know how heavy the moniker "head of the house" is. It dawns you with so much responsibility. One of those responsibilities is not embarrassing your family on world stage. Just look at what this bald headed b*tch did to his wife? Be careful who you marry.
This is your fat wife & mother of your children. This is what you sleep next to every night & wake up next to & greets you every morning. A fat woman. Look at her fat stomach poking through those linen pants.
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Being called "baby" , "babe" , "bae" , "luv" by someone ongasamfuni feels like a spiritual attack. Ngathi uflathelwa amadlozi.
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I'm sorry, but you can just tell that she was always physical. Umuntu onesandla uyambona. She was the face of fear, and you convince that she didn't terrorize other kids. Female version of Butch Magnus.
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I came to the doctor's because I have intense flu. HIV test yani manje???.
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I actually just realised that he introduced her to a vibe he can maintain. You don't tell someone something like this straight off the bat. It's not entitlement when he gave her breeding ground.
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•The brightness of your phone stays on 100% as long as you're in my presence.•Your phone stays on loud(no DND, no silence). •All calls must be answered via my car's bluetooth.•Videocalls must be answered at all times( ringing time is 7 seconds max).•Your location stays on.
Strict boyfriend 101:.
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It's actually mind-boggling that the only people paying attention to the fact that Burna Boy left with a girl who later came back in a body bag are South Africans. He has NEVER addressed it. Most unproblematic my ass.
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I have a theory. I think that men generally don't declare their sex life on social media as much as women, is bc men are doing it with multiple partners. If John has 5 girlfriends & tweets "just got the best rounds", he'll lose the other 4. I'm just spit spitballing.🧎🏾♂️.
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We went to the Fireroom at Monte & she didn't believe it when the chef rolled the gas stove to our table & started cooking our food right in front of us. She videocalled her friend & also posted us on her whatsapp stories. I changed her life. We never spoke again.
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North boy ,Donell Mbele, Says he is God's favourite child,living his best life there by Instagram,after he was released on R1000 bail at the Randburg magistrate court.
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You hop into my car, into the passenger seat, and turn your brightness down, i swear I'm dropping you off at the nearest police station, sgebengu ndini.
Strict boyfriend 101:.
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Olwami: "Josiah, I am deeply apologetic it was never my intention to put you in this situation. I hope you find it in your heart to. ".Josiah:
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😭
@OslinaM How when he wrote the car under his name behind my back, 2 days after we bought it ?.
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Not knowing how to swim is grounds. And I'm not even joking.
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Someone asked me what it is I do for a living, and as soon as I told them my profession they said “ok…akufani nokuhlala ungayenzi lutho.”😭 Never has there been a time where I felt like telling someone how much I make per month because abantu bajwayelana kabi. Yoh.😭.
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I'm really a simple guy, man.
My nigga, what if it all goes right?.
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" I want that R250K as a lump sump. When can you make a payment? " .Olwami:
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@rosy_kbee Remain calm. 4 heavily armed policemen have already been dispatched to your current location. Act normal, and take deep breaths.
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Women can swallow 7 slices of bread but can't swallow their pride & say "sorry". Smh.
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I know that nobody's perfect, but that "livin" hurt me more than it should have.
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I was molested back in highschool at boarding school. My mom took me to therapy & it didn't work. I confronted her about it few weeks ago & she said "we tried all we could". It struck a nerve. I even attempted suicide shorty after & failed. Grateful I'm alive but it destroyed me!.
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@____justsihle Niggas be like "you changed". Fuck yes, I got DESTROYED, RAVAGED, RANSACKED & MY HEART GOT YANKED THE FUCK OUT.😭.
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People in pretoria have inkani. You can clearly hear I'm speaking to you in Zulu bese wena ephendula ngesPedi/Tswana. Tf?😭.
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Olwami probably read this & said "Iyanya lentwana yazi".
@OlwamiMadeIt the solution is to sell the Megane to cover some of the costs dude.
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"Can I pay for liqour? You really look like you had a long day. Let me do this kind gesture." & not even asking for her name or phone numbers afterwards cause you've seen her there before and know you'll cross paths again>>>.
Macking at Shoprite Liquor >>>>>> macking at Woolies.
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Ubers don't enter this place. Your request will be declined before you even unlock your phone to go to the app. If you have a package coming, they drop it off at the nearest police. Not at your address. It's up to you to go pick it up. Then yt politicians tell you how much of a.
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@15Asande Don't fold. I want to see the takes from abo magriza's who can't see that this is humor.
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Lol this is how real loyal lovers respond to DM's:
Real loyal lovers don't even say thank you when you compliment them in the dms they just like your message and keep it pushing.
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How it started. How it's going.
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@Navtreaks The Rock off air & social media promos???????? I am beginning to recognize the game I love all over again.
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Goodnight.👍🏽
Iqalile iLack of communication. 🕊.
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@YouDunnoVusi There’s a gent out there who’s got pure intentions and doesn’t want bums and I hope I meet that gent in 2025 🥺❤️.
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If you look like this, like this tweet & I'll clear your cart. (This isn't a joke).
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The dating pool would be just fine if married people stayed the hell away from it.
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One day you will test HIV positive because you keep on forgiving your cheating partner.
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I wanted to keep quiet about this, angeke. This is worse than uku 🐻🐝sa ind*ya.
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Bottle stores need to start hiring DJ's & also get some comfortable couches.
I’m judging everyone who goes to Konka. Y’all are idiots. Period!
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The Parlotones - I’ll be there .This song had me in a chokehold as a kid.😭 SABC 3 and this song were an iconic duo. I have flashbacks of my childhood every time I hear it. Top, top, top.
What’s a South African song that you feel was created PERFECTLY?.
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To call Musa Khawula “a menace” wouldn’t serve any justice.😭 yeses.😭
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@EzamaCirha I'm not laughing cause it's funny. I'm laughing cause I am in SHOCK.👐🏾.I didn't even bother to ask who was driving. He laughed & told me he's in a rushed & when I ask why , he explained & told me his wife's knocking off time is approaching.💀.
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@Fanoza2 This might actually be the very bottom of the barrel.🤮 It's like going though your girlfriends phone expecting to find incriminating evidence proving that she's cheating on you, only for you to find out she's throwing herself at niggas and just getting curved.🤮.
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When huns from Pretoria come over to your place and smuggle knorrox cubes into their mouths when they leave.
fellas, what’s gives you the ick? c’mon, this is a safe space.
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@__princess_tee He's already a chief. He has the experience. They will just have to change Wakanda to Ndakanda, and transition to Venda. Some tiny adjustments.
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