Lizz "Insufferable Wench" Winstead
@lizzwinstead
Followers
126,047
Following
3,987
Media
4,124
Statuses
99,566
Comic, CoCreator: The Daily Show. Podcast: Feminist Buzzkills, drops Fridays. She/Her #AbortionAF Booking:leslie @theshipmanagency .com Views my own.
The Lizzantine Empire
Joined July 2009
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I Wanna
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Christ is King
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TEN FIREWORK IT
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Trump is using a COVID drug developed by company that uses embryonic stem cells in their research. CRICKETS from the anti abortion orcs who want to ban it stem cell research.
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HEY ROLLING STONE: FAKE NEWS. You literally erased
@Madcowgirl1
and me, the women who CREATED IT from the narrative. Also, you left out so many amazing people who built the foundation. either you "forgot" or don't have a research team or, just wow.
‘The Daily Show’ premiered 22 years ago today. See why it’s one of the greatest TV shows of all time
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From now on I will only refer to Sean Hannity as "Client Number Three"
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SHAME ON YOU GREG for cheating on your wife with your secretary who also happened to be you wife’s best friend. Wake up AMERICA! 💩💩💩
SHAME ON YOU NIKE for siding with anti-American Colin Kaepernick. Wake up AMERICA! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
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REMINDER; POLITICIANS ARE FAIR GAME. Comics don't do this gig, or ANY GIG to bring people together. COMEDY is, BY NATURE, at the expense of others.They do the
#WHCD
for people watching at home, not who is in the room. and WE LOVED IT. BECAUSE THIS WH IS DESTROYING THE WORLD.
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I just turned 60! Happy birthday to me!
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I'd steal Michelle Obama's speech too if I was forced to think of nice things to say about being married to Donald Trump.
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AFTER BIRTH ABORTIONS ARE NOT A THING.
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Kevin Sorbo and the My Pillow guy are so hated in Minnesota that no one has bothered to create their portrait from seeds or carve their likeness out of butter.
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What's ENRAGING about Biden slamming abortion activists is the activists, funders, lawyers and providers, ARE THE ONES doing all the work. We're at a breaking point.The LEAST he could do is acknowledge our hard, very real work. We risk jail time and he comes at us with this? Wow.
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Hi! remember me
@StephenAtHome
I hired you at
@TheDailyShow
! I happen to run an abortion rights organization called
@LPJLeague
and would be HAPPY to come on and talk about abortion! Slide into my DM's friend...
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A domestic policy that forces people to have babies combined with a trade policy that starves them, pretty much sums up the Republican Party.
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I simply don't understand. If armed cops are afraid to confront a dude with an assault rifle, why are people allowed to have them?
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Louie Anderson flew back from LA to open for me the first time I headlined as a comic in Minneapolis so people would come to my show. He was a friend,mentor, brother and a big reason Minneapolis had a comedy scene and why I exist as a comic. I am shattered. I love you Louie.
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@AnaKasparian
I also am a woman, and proud of it and fight for us every day, but not everyone who deals with reproductive issues is a woman. Speaking with inclusion does not erase your womanhood and you actually can't support the trans and GNC communities without inclusion.
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My sister passed away today,from a long battle with ALS. It is the cruelest of diseases and her suffering was unyielding. I am shattered, she was my heart and home. At least she is at peace and will live I. Through her writing, her art, her brilliance, her humor and her kids.
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Also, walking the earth while female is riskier than your fucking hot coal bullshit, Tony Robbins.
#MeToo
#TonyRobbins
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Mike Pence says marriage equality & abortion go against God. So being the side piece for the pussy grabber in- chief is the Lords work?
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I'm backing
@ewarren
for president. I'll enthusiastically do what I can to make her the nominee. However, I'll support whomever the nominee ends up being. PS- I will also do everything I can to ensure Bloomberg and his racist, sexist billionaire ass is shown the door.
#TeamWarren
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If you are wondering why really talented women you used to see on TV or movies just sorta disappeared, it's safe to assume they were either victims of assault or tried to call out predators and were erased.
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John Kasich didn't deliver Biden votes, Black Women delivered Biden the White House. Remember that when you are inviting folks to the table. Please.
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Please God let it be Pence. And let Trump find out when Dems have taken the House and installed a new Speaker. Then Let Trump's ego go crazy and fire Pence as Impeachment proceedings wrap up. Trump is tossed out, we have no VP and the Dem speaker becomes president.
#DareToDream
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Dear Media: If I see one more story, or TV news convo about
#BrettKavanaugh
THAT LEAVES OUT THE FACT he wrote the DISSENTING OPINION on the DC court that a raped undocumented teen did NOT have the right to access an abortion, you're complicit in ignoring the humanity of women.
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The state of Ohio has ordered abortion clinics in their state to shut down because they are non essential healthcare. This is creating ANOTHER HEALTHCARE CRISIS. Needing an abortion is time sensitive and VERY ESSENTIAL to a person who needs one.
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OH STFU. You won't even play your ball out of the rough.
Breaking News: President Trump condemned officers outside the Florida school shooting who didn’t stop it, saying he’d run in “even if I didn’t have a weapon”
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If The Daily Show has made your life better in some way, you’ve benefitted from abortion.
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I am old. I had no idea how many people didn't know it was Rush that coined the term "Feminazi" So many of us were branded with it while defending and demanding our right to exist without having to tolerate abuse.
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Raccoon has refused an invitation to be honored at the White House.
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Today marks the 45th anniversary of Roe V Wade. Seems like a good day to remind people- There are no good abortions. There are no bad abortions. There is only the abortion you need. Please honor our autonomy by standing up for reproductive freedom.
#RiseUp4Roe
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IMPORTANT NEWS NOT ON YOUR TV: Today SCOTUS decides whether it will hear an Indiana case requiring mandatory cremation/ burial for abortions AND miscarriages based on "dignity of personhood" If they take it, & decide medical waste is a person, ROE IS DEAD. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION.
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If Barbra Streisand can clone her dog, we can clone Ruth Bader Ginsberg right?
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This
#Zuckerberg
hearing is a bullhorn to us all that we can't have 20th century lawmakers running a 21st century world.
#VoteThemOut2018
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BREAKING: Kim Kardashian has the tape of Michelle Obama giving Melania permission to use that speech.
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Alan Dershowitz nominating Jared Kushner for a Nobel Peace Prize is like Roy Moore nominating Jeffrey Epstein a Teen Choice award
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Congrats John Boehner! You have joined the pantheon of selfish bloviators who write books chockful of white supremacist anecdotes that you could have told years ago to save Democracy, but instead waited so you could make a buck.
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LOL.
I say we cannot continue to let Obama fly around on Air Force 1, at a cost of millions of dollars a day, for the purpose of politics & play!
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I'm super sick of people who have decided the way to defend birth control is by emphasizing that people use it "for other things" as though people who use it for preventing pregnancy are immoral garbage. That's what you're implying whether you realize it or not. It's got to stop.
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100 women have won seats in the house!
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My reaction to Omarosa recording John Kelly: A. Holy Fuck you can easily smuggle recording devices into the Situation Room. B. See A
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PUT ABORTION DOCTORS ON YOUR CABLE NEWS SHOWS! THEY ARE THE EXPERTS!
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Hey Democrats! VA ran people in seats they had left unchallenged AND ARE WINNING. RUN IN EVERY DISTRICT IN 2018.
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No, I’m not leaving Twitter. We all just watched what happened when there was no counter narrative to the anti abortion movement and I am not gonna leave and let this platform form popular opinion with unchecked fascism. Nope.
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Please send any spare strength you can to my family tonight. xo
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I am feeling really blue. The gaslighting, the uncertainty and the zero contact with friends and family is overwhelming me today.
#COVID19
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Wow. Instead of having compassion for the 4 women abused, You find a "Gotcha" moment as you hypocritically stand by another abusing garbage human. You really do profoundly suck at humanity.
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Then get out of our vaginas.
.
@SHSanders45
: "I can't think of anything worse than having government more involved in your healthcare."
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As a Minnesotan born/ raised,
@IngrahamAngle
should STHU about what it means to be a Minnesotan. With the most welcoming refugee policies in this country, we understand that being Minnesotan means welcoming & loving all who want to be part of our community, doncha know.
@IlhanMN
Laura Ingraham makes fun of new House Democrat’s accent in cringeworthy segment
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Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be on the cover this year but I would have to agree to a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. Thanks anyway!
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I am currently in Minnesota helping my sister with ALS. I wear two masks to a store and I am so afraid I will get the virus and give it to her. She relies on me so anyone screaming about their mask wearing oppression can go straight to Shove It Up Your Ass Fucktown.
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Obama called every innkeeper and told them not to rent to Mary and Joseph
#KatrinaPiersonHistory
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I will be tearing it up with
@ElieNYC
with
@JoyAnnReid
tonight on
#MSNBC
we will bring exactly what you need. No fools will be suffered.
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Dear
@NikkiHaley
Please point to a specific kindergarten that teaches college level courses on race AND any book or lesson plan in a public elementary school with the theme that “white children are bad” Ill wait.
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Christine Blasey Ford. Thank you for coming forward knowing what the animals will now do to you. I’m eternally grateful. I know what you have been through because I have been there.
#MeToo
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Amy Coney Barrett rejects a mask as protection, rejects a condom as protection, rejects abortion as heath care. WE should reject her getting a robe for OUR protection.
#LeaveTheSeatOpen
#abortionIsHealthcare
#SCOTUS
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Please send good thoughts to my family tonight. My eldest sister has been hospitalized and we could use good energy. This year can fuck itself in the ass with a broken bottle.
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Katie Porter explaining The 25th Amendment to Ben Carson:
Porter: Do You Know what the 25th Amendment is?
Carson: The 25th Commandment?
Porter: The 25th Amendment
Carson: The 5th Dimension?
Porter: Do you have someone who can drive you home?
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PEOPLE ARE DISRUPTING POLITICIANS AT DINNER BECAUSE THEY SIT IDLY BY AS THIS PRESIDENT DESTROYS LIVES. Jesus, stop acting like it’s the same as mailing explosives, AND WORSE, quit acting like citizens don’t have the right to confront our elected officials IN PUBLIC.
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It's official. I detest anyone still identifying as a Republican. You are following the pied viper off a cliff with all of us chained to you. Fuck you for being blinded by your tremendous greed, misogyny and racism. It is destroying the world. The only world we all live in.
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@PaulBegala
For who? Get back to me when your body becomes government property and your future and destiny are on the brink of being destroyed so I can tell you to lie back, take it, and protest your oppressors in the way that makes them feel comfortable. SMDH
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Hey
@SpeakerRyan
- Is calling Haiti and Africa "Shithole countries", also a sign of "exquisite" leadership? Your entire party is a shithole.
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I think the only way to get a woman elected in 2020 is if the ticket is Warren Harris because it sounds like a white guy.
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If only there was something you could do...
I talked to a waitress in Bangor this morning whose husband works for TSA. They literally had to get a loan to pay their mortgage for this month. That's just wrong. I continue to believe that a compromise is possible because this is a problem that we have to solve.
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The fratty jock genre dominated entertainment and white dude executives helped it grow to a point where it took up most of the spaces in radio,TV and comedy for a long time. It shut out many talented women and POC. When U dismiss it as merely "lame", u ignore its profound impact.
Most of what Tucker said that has caused controversy are lame attempts at provocation, embedded in the fratty/gross context of the shock-jock genre.
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Reminder: While
#MorningJoe
was still normalizing Trump, having him on every day, people were working hard trying to show Trump was evil.
#DeNiro
didn't help elevate Trump, but your show did. A LOT of people needed the raw catharsis
#DeNiro
gave
#FUCKTRUMP
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This is very cool and I knew it would happen.
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There are twice as many IHOP’s than abortion providers in the United States.
If you have pancakes in your tum tum, does that make you a pancake mum mum? Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the moms out there!
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It was disgusting to watch post
#WHCA
analysis. It was pathetic to see journalists tweet and report on what they think they heard, rather than what was said. SHS is fair game and so are jokes about sex greed and lies because they are the cornerstone of this admin.
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ALT THEORY: Trump didn’t know about the raid until the last minute because the adults thought he would tweet the whole plan. They pulled him off the course, slapped a suit on him and took that shitty picture after it happened.
#alBaghdadi
#staged
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I feel really sad
@ewarren
is suspending her campaign. She was the FIRST progressive candidate to declare and she didn’t back down. I really love her ideas and her vision for all of us to live in an equitable world. Representation is important. I wanted this woman for president.
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When God closes a Fred Phelps, he opens a Cliven Bundy.
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My sister was everything and has gifted me with a niece, 2 nephews and a brother in law, all whom I cherish. Together we will learn to live with her essence and spirit always. I love you Mary Marge. Wish you were here to tell me how to handle this. 💔
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BREAKING SKETCHY AF NEWS: BUCKLE UP- The FBI has removed huge biohazard bags and coolers CONTAINING 5 FETUSES from the DC home of Lauren Handy, an anti-abortion extremist who was one of 9 anti-abortion clinic invaders arrested this week by the FBI
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The Hits of 1989:
- Nintendo launches Game Boy
-Exxon Valdez spill
-SUPREME COURT RULES IT'S YOUR 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHT TO BURN A FLAG.
Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag - if they do, there must be consequences - perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!
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"My fashion designer daughter and her husband are gonna do most of the heavy lifting" - Said no world leader ever until now
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Fuck this piece of shit president. I got nuthin’ left
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If you are a news organization that feels we need pizazz in our news, you have no idea what your role is in ensuring an actual democracy. The rest of us want facts and truth. If we want pizazz, in our news we go to
@RandyRainbow
.
#Pizzazz
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THREAD: These
#covingtoncatholic
students were attending the
#Marchforlife
busses down in the name of being prolife. They have no respect for any life. My team at
@LPJLeague
greeted them with these signs. Because they never show up to
#MarchForActualLives
it’s disgusting.
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my apologies. I forgot to mention he physically abused his wife as well and she had to go live in a shelter.
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Alternate take: Your family is a disease.
Ivanka Trump's commencement speech was canceled because social justice is a disease
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THREAD: As of today, Lady Parts Justice League is now Abortion Access Front and Lady Parts Justice is Abortion Access Force. We’re committed to defending reproductive rights of all genders and our name did not reflect that.
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Can’t believe Paul Ryan is gonna leave when there are still so many poor children to punish.
#PaulRyan
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25 witnesses. None called. All to protect Rapey McKegstand.
#KavanaughLied
#KavanaughResign
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Hard fucking pass. Quit asking me to find common ground with my oppressors. You can’t be feminist and anti abortion. And stop calling people who are oppressors “pro-life”
“Feminists who are pro-life and pro-choice can and must find common cause to improve the lives of women,” writes
@Tish_H_Warren
.
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4 hour wait. 8 block long line. Vote cast!
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