Nanyuki Billionaire🇰🇪
@lewis_ngunyi
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Village boy from Nanyuki.
Nanyuki, Kenya
Joined June 2016
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
The protests in Nanyuki were never a personal matter for me. But now they are.
I was summoned yesterday at Nanyuki DCI offices to get processed for court, and took the liberty to drop this notice for Tuesday demos.
We will not relent! We go again.
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After we're done with the finance bill, we will likely want a discussion about refunds for failed Visa applications. Can't be profiting off wasting people's time.
We'll bring the protests to you, don't worry, just wait your turn
@USEmbassyKenya
.
US Embassy issues safety alert to US citizens over Finance Bill 2024 protests
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This guy pushes the biggest trolley at the supermarket. He has white earphones with wires running through his t-shirt, to the phone in his hand. He plants the trolley in front of me.
I'm standing in line with bread and some cash (I've recently been reduced to carrying cash).
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"Siku Moja mayouth wataungana" really did happen in my lifetime man.
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And we're collecting signatures to recall our MP and Women Rep huku Nanyuki kwa tamasha.
Gotha tena! ✊🏾
Private number just called both my lines. Picked on the second ring. A lady's voice telling me "they're looking for you, usitoke kwa nyumba"
Nanyuki is my home buanaa. I will be outside singing Daima Mimi Mkenya at midnight, kujeni mnichukue🚮
Also
#FreeBilly
na mkwende huko!!
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The idea that marriage is the end of the adventure rather than the beginning of it is such a bleak view on one of the most exciting experiences life can offer.
It's also probably why my generation spends so much time in pointless indulgence before taking their-
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The subtext of this interview, btw, is that the economy will get worse, deliberately, in order to make a point that we should have passed the finance bill.
He has to go.
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Mmenipigania ajab, haha you guys love me, najua mnablush mkiona tweets zangu.
Also, shame on
@randagalu
for trying to sound like me on that thread😂. My G that one.
I'm truly grateful to everyone. To LSK, to KOX, Nanyuki residents and
@DefendersKE
.
Rigarthless,
#RutoMustGo
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Linus Kaikai just confirmed Tuesday's protests on Live TV😂😂😂🔥🔥
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Na vile nilikuwa nazurura usiku Nanyuki waiting for them to abduct me nikuwe kama Kapenguria six kumbe ata abductions you need connections😒.
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He could have just said, "okay guys, I hear you. Let's recall and rethink this bill"
But his advisors told him we were powerless Gen Z idlers, now look who's about to get ousted.
Made his bed, let him lie on it.
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Private number just called both my lines. Picked on the second ring. A lady's voice telling me "they're looking for you, usitoke kwa nyumba"
Nanyuki is my home buanaa. I will be outside singing Daima Mimi Mkenya at midnight, kujeni mnichukue🚮
Also
#FreeBilly
na mkwende huko!!
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I had a cup of tea with my old man today. My treat. It's been a while since we last had a chat.
He walked in about 7 minutes late. He had called promptly on time to apologise that he'd be running late. He apologises again as he takes the mask off his face.
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He was found.
Dead.
At city mortuary.
Fatal gunshot wounds.
This is who the president called criminals.
Never forget.
May he rest in peace.
Has anyone seen Beasley Kamau.
We have tried reaching him but we can't find him.
Kindly dm me if you have any information on his whereabouts.
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You will never get networks if you're actively looking for networks. All you find are other regular people also looking for networks.
Networks find you in your element, doing your very best in life, and probably just talking trash about football at the most random of places.
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The saddest thing, Hussein, is that we all know that you know, deep down...that you're on the wrong side of history.
I hope the price for your soul was decent though. Shalom.
Finance Bill amendments:
- Proposed 16% VAT on bread removed.
- Proposed VAT on transportation of sugar removed.
- VAT on financial services and foreign exchange transactions removed.
- No increase on mobile money transfer fees.
- 2.5% Motor Vehicle Tax removed…
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He gets done, bids me good tidings (I've needed those for a minute to be fair) and bounces away.
I think about Dave Chappelle's quote, "You have to be wise enough to know when you are living in your dream And you have to be humble enough to accept when you're in someone else's"
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Will be dropping this tomorrow at the Nanyuki OCS Office. We're joining the revolution on Thursday!!
Viva!!✊🏾✊🏾
#OccupyNanyuki
#RejectFinaceBil2024
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UPDATE : He's been reached
Currently in the company of friends and family who responded swiftly.
Guys fuck nimekujiwa please help me , Niko kwangu in kahawa sukari, this is not a joke, it is serious PLEASE
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WE ARE LEGION.
We have no centers. We have no leaders. We have no sponsors. We have multiple heads. You cut one, 15 more spawn out of nowhere.
We can't be bought because it will cost you significantly more to pay all of us than to just fix the economy.
WE ARE THE RESISTANCE!
De facto leader of the Kenyan Gen Z youth protest movement.
@bonifacemwangi
He can mobilise and he commands huge following.
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We were distributing these fliers in Nanyuki town today and an elderly man told me, "Hii yenyu nimeona ndio mbaya zaidi. Wacha sisi wazee tuwaachie nyinyi, sisi tulishindwa. Endeleeni kabisa tumefurahi kupumzika"
#OccupyNanyuki
#RejectFinanceBill2024
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Nothing about dead children on the streets? Nothing about the reason people are on the streets? Nothing about 35 counties being outside saying "we don't want this thing"?
Just threats?? Damn!
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Having the United States as a standard for anything in life is quite possibly a very reliable sign of a useless person.
Kenya is such an ushago nation. In US do they have entertainment during inaugurations?
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I look at the random selection of shopping items and smile. I'm happy. I really see him. I see the pride, I see his feeling of "deserving" to push his own trolley for himself. The restoration of dignity that comes with economic freedom. I see the bounce in his step. I really do.
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The reason why men *generally don't like our (Kikuyu) women is because challenging your man is a more important marker of strength to you than cooperation.
You're angled for confrontation by default. Look around. Almost every other oppressive female boss in their 30s & 40s is
The reason why men don't like Kikuyu women it's because they hate being challenged.
A kikuyu woman will question you when you do something wrong which is regarded as "Disrespect " . Hawapendi kubebwa ufala
They are not afraid to walk away and start over alone
They don't beg
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On Lewis' instructions i tweet
My name is Rogers, Lewis' friend. As a precautionary measure, Lewis gave access to his X platform.
Following yesterday's events Lewis requested that the Advocates of Nanyuki bring him to the police station.
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Okay, I may have jinxed things👀
Apparently, DCI officers in Nanyuki went to a friend's home yesterday (a case of mistaken identity I think) and were harassing his mum to produce me (she doesn't even know me).
@DCI_Kenya
if you want me, just summon me, I'll present myself.
Na vile nilikuwa nazurura usiku Nanyuki waiting for them to abduct me nikuwe kama Kapenguria six kumbe ata abductions you need connections😒.
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The creators of this water company accidentally spilled milk in my packet of water.
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All this drama for wanting a better country??? What is this audacity man! Ati "Usitoke kwa nyumba"
In this Nanyuki that birthed and raised me??
Let it bury me as well. Now I'm pissed off.
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Our soja at the gate is a 40-ish something year old. That or life has/hasn't been so kind to him. I've barely ever seen him. In fact, I've never seen him outside his tiny hut at the gate.
He's always veiled up in his Maasai shuka. It's criminally chilly in Nanyuki at night.
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Very outside✊🏾
Private number just called both my lines. Picked on the second ring. A lady's voice telling me "they're looking for you, usitoke kwa nyumba"
Nanyuki is my home buanaa. I will be outside singing Daima Mimi Mkenya at midnight, kujeni mnichukue🚮
Also
#FreeBilly
na mkwende huko!!
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#WorldWarIII
#worldwar3
Yellow haired bastard provokes Iran
Iran gets pissed
US citizens: Wooorrrllld waaarrr threeee!!
The world:
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He might actually not make it past this week. This roundtable was an atrocious mistake, bloody hell💀😂
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In that moment, we were all living in this one man's dream. It was his moment, and we were the NPCs walking about, making his performance of himself, in his life, all the more real. I was humbled to be part of it. The restoration of a man's manness, I'd call it.
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There are
@DCI_Kenya
officers at my door disturbing my caretaker to produce me. You couldn't have summoned me during the day?
I am not in the house.
Okay, I may have jinxed things👀
Apparently, DCI officers in Nanyuki went to a friend's home yesterday (a case of mistaken identity I think) and were harassing his mum to produce me (she doesn't even know me).
@DCI_Kenya
if you want me, just summon me, I'll present myself.
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I haven't spent a considerable amount of time with my grandparents. I only know one. My mother's mum. The others went before I got here.
I'm named after her husband. She loves all of us named Ngunyi. Calls us "mûthuuri wakwa" (my husband). A lot of husbands those.
Amazed from my exchanges on Twitter today to find that so many Kenyans are imperialists, cheering on Russia as it tries to rebuild its empire and denouncing states trying to assert their independence. The irony is quite extraordinary, really.
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When I say
#RutoMustGo
, I don't say it because I know him as a person, but I know Rutoism too well. I see it in the lowly glances of people beat up and down by an economy they cannot seem to outwork. Today, I saw a glimpse of how it would look...if only things were done well.
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Everyone has known about the election date since 2010. Everyone has knows that schools are voting centres since 1963. Ministry of Education gives a 24 hour notice to close schools.
5,000 page CV.
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So we'll continue to press on, because that future, that utopic country we all so desperately crave for. It exists. We can all be happy. We should all be happy. At all our levels - it is the opportunity to contribute to a greater good. That's the gleam we won't stop striving for!
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I think audacity and shamelessness are skills everyone needs to learn very quickly if you're to make anything of yourself.
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He turns to me. It's his first time shopping on his card, he says. He just got a job recently, and the card on Friday.
Never pushed a supermarket trolley in his life either. He has never thought he was "allowed to". Turns out you just choose one and go, we both chuckle.
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Some of you just lack discipline and accountability.
Can't keep deadlines? It's ADHD.
Can't communicate effectively? It's the stars.
Can't stop being a hoe? It's childhood trauma.
Abuse drugs? It's the depression.
Everything's done to you, never by you.
Please just grow up!
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The Presidency has never "evaded Baba". He has just never learnt. After every election, instead of putting together a decent post-mortem to see what went wrong, he has always blamed someone else.
This time it's "Uhuru was playing him". No he wasn't.
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Hello everyone!
I'm okay. The DCI has my phone so I'm not very active. Been focusing on work these past few days and I'm in the house cooking as I type this.
Staying very dangerous as per very usual.😂
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Alice Ng'ang'a and Osoro successfully managed to overtake Ichung'wah and KJ as public enemies numbers 2 and 3. Incredible achievement!
Respect, and congratulations 🙌🏾
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One day after posting this, I handed in my resignation notice at work. A few things had changed that didn't quite align with the direction I wanted to steer my life towards, and it was affecting both my output as well as how I showed up. It was time for me to leave...
I think audacity and shamelessness are skills everyone needs to learn very quickly if you're to make anything of yourself.
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I walk into the butchery, knowing full well I was about to ask a very foolish question. It's the only shop with a chair. I want to sit. I have to do what I have to do.
"Niaje boss, hamuuzi snacks?" (What's up boss, aren't you selling snacks?)
He obviously isn't. He says no.
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I paid for my bread in my crumpled note, like the movie extra that I am. But I walked out, having had the most significant muted experience I've had in a while.
The flipside of that: Just how many such men, swept into a sense of numbness and cowering, simply because this economy
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"First time we have an administration that cares about young people"
This guy took 700M from Sports and added it to the State House budget. Took 1B from Youth affairs as well, added 1.2Bn to the Office of the Deputy President.
Gotha.
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Mkiwahi patana na video ya Larry snorting lines please mind your business. This schedule we've put him on must be hectic asf!
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...is being run for the sole purpose of paying for political sycophancy, and accumulating resources to buy their way back into power in 2027.
So many such men, robbed of a chance at economic freedom, and, subsequently, of simply the basic decency of being a human being.
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And singing Daima Mimi Mkenya at midnight as promised.
Huku juu na DJ.
Private number just called both my lines. Picked on the second ring. A lady's voice telling me "they're looking for you, usitoke kwa nyumba"
Nanyuki is my home buanaa. I will be outside singing Daima Mimi Mkenya at midnight, kujeni mnichukue🚮
Also
#FreeBilly
na mkwende huko!!
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Online wankers how are we all feeling today?😂
IG Koome's resignation is good. Now we want his prosecution, either here, or at the Hague. Personal culpability for the massacre in Githurai.
You won't be silently swept into some parastatal Board to safisha rada.
Anguka nayo!
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For those asking, yes I'm alright. In a safe location.
I will present myself at Nanyuki Police Station tomorrow in the company of advocates so that
@DCI_Kenya
can tell me why they're looking for me.
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Back in primary school, I used to do compositions in about 30 minutes. I figured very early on that I'm very easily distracted mentally if I don't have anything to occupy me physically.
The one thing I always did was walk into the exam room with un-sharpened pencils.
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When you think about it, you have to actually think very lowly of your future wife/husband in order to deliberately reserve the worst and least fun of your years for them.
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I think the secret is in how you show up.
How you show up for yourself, for your job, for a volunteer slot, for the internship...everything.
Because the higher the stakes get, the scarier it will get. The more difficult the job will be, and the more it will demand from you.
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Man, Austin is one of the least problematic people I know.
They've nabbed him for the crime of... offering free medical care??
These guys must fall!
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-absolute battered selves to their life partners and wonder why it doesn't work out.
"Living life" is used nowadays to mean unregulated debauchery and the establishment of a family becomes the death of that "life". A rude end to an exciting era.
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Also guys, since mnaniita "Nanyuki Protester" please also remember I run a Digital Marketing Agency (Social Funnel) for a living.
Kesho niko streets
Wednesday I'm in Court
Happy to take Discovery Calls on Thursday from 7:30am.
Wee DM tu.
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Your man's free time isn't an invitation for you to schedule your plans into his life. "Free time" means "no obligations time". Scheduling a Mountain climbing event into his free weekend is just plain demonic, unless specifically asked for.
Just be around and leave him alone.
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Thomas Markle is the exact depiction of people who believe the genetic coincidence called "family" gives them the right to abuse trust and just walk back into people's lives demanding attention and love.
Meghan Markle and prince Harry go on building that life💯💯
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I've been having a conversation with friends over the staleness of Kenyan content. Their argument? Writers need to play a more active role in content production in Ke. So I asked them to list their top 10 local creatives. 3 friends. 30 names. Not a single writer on the lists.
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Dear Governor Irungu,
We don't know who you have so far engaged but cool I guess. We are, at the moment, very keenly scrutinizing the County Budget. Once we're done, hopefully within the week, we shall be in touch.
Please don't skip the line, your time is coming.
Just relax.
Dear great people of Laikipia,
In light of recent events and the passionate advocacy of our youth through the GEN-Z movement, I, as your Governor and Chief Servant, wish to commend the boldness and vision of our young people. They are the bedrock upon which the future of our
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We no longer talk. Ideological differences though, not beef. But I think we met so that I could get closer to dad. Funny how life works, right? But at least it does work.
Alright, I'm done now.
And unlike my dad, I make my own meals, smh.
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"These are my best years, I need to have fun before settling down" directly means "I'll let you know when I get a lot worse, and tired, and broken, and then you can ship me off to whatever unfun life you wanted to show me."
It's bleak, it's sad, and an insult as well.
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This is the collective delusion that's ruining our generation.
Most of the time people quit on you because you're unbearable, indisciplined, dishonest and repulsive to be around.
Not because you were chosen by God to be better than the rest. Reflect and improve!
When someone quits on you, tell them Thank You:)…They weren’t meant to go on the incredible journey that’s in store for you. At some point you’re going to say “Thank you God for looking out!”
True story.
#Motivation
🫶🏽🙏🏽
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If men believe that fathers are so necessary in children's lives, then why do they have friends that are deadbeats and why are they deadbeats themselves?
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The state counsel later disclosed the charges levelled against Lewis and they include: arson, shop breaking and malicious damage to property.
Tomorrow he will be presented before Nanyuki Law Courts at 9.00am
Pardon if my tone is not the same to what you are used to from Lewis
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Final rallying call for Nanyuki (and hopefully the rest of the country)
We get up, despite everything, to fight for something. I'm personally very mentally drained, but I WILL BE THERE TOMORROW.
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Mambo ya Nanyuki haya
#RejectFinanceBill2024
In Nanyuki, tomorrow it's Gotha tena!!✊🏾
Stop getting distracted, stop getting divided.
Those doing abductions on behalf of looters, I'll quote your boss. "Power is transcient". Today you have access to it, tomorrow you don't.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
#OccupyNanyuki
#FreeShad
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Alliance High School Old boys Club
@AHSOBC
you've been begging endlessly for junior members to join the society.
You have access to networks that can find and free Austin. Your time to show us you care about the young guns is now. Do it!
#FreeAustin
#FreeJaPrado
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I bought this comb on my way to see her. It was the first time I was visiting. She lived far, flung out away from civilization. I hadn't known about rogue matatus back then. They made a 6 hour journey take exactly 12 hours. I was exhausted!
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We are counting on the wisdom of extremely educated and trained Generals of the Kenya Defence Forces (KDF) tomorrow.
You're adequately trained to handle high stakes situations. You've amassed international acclaim for integrity and peacekeeping.
The world watches. All the best!
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No matter how badly you want a happy marriage, the mindset that it's the end of the dance means you can't possibly have it.
You don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems. And for most of you, your minds identify marriage with the death of fun.
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I read his face. I don't see malice in him. He probably just didn't see me in line. I let it slide. He has a gleam on that face, and keeps patting the back of his pocket as the cashier processes strangers through. Beep. Beep. My guy cranks his neck over the counter. He's next.
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Can't beat the entire Carnivore singing, "usiponipenda ntapendwa na naaaniii..." if we're being honest.
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Hi
@NPSOfficial_KE
your officers are trying to befriend my friend
@Saxian007
by force today.
He has enough friends and more are on their way so that they can all be friends together🚮
Guys fuck nimekujiwa please help me , Niko kwangu in kahawa sukari, this is not a joke, it is serious PLEASE
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So, careful. Forgiveness doesn't equal amnesia.
Your ancestors may have rewritten our history in palatable ways to absolve themselves of the responsibility of the injustice from which you currently tweet in privilege, but we had equally gifted storytellers as grandparents.
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He stares at her, almost confused.
"Ni hivyo?" (is that it?), he asks.
"PIN," she replies.
"Nikupee PIN?" (I give you my PIN?)
"Unafaa uweke PIN yako hapo" (key in your PIN), I chip in.
"Oh thanks," he says.
He keys in his pin and the receipts roll out.
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That's why your weddings are such a spectacle! It's all about optics, and showing the world that you're still having fun.
Or why bachelor parties are a thing. So you can "live life" one last weekend before sailing off with your equally miserable wife to endless misery.
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He places the contents of his trolley onto the cashier's desk, one item at a time. He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, pulls out his card then looks around. He rocks back and forth and fidgets, keeps staring at the card.
I'm standing behind him, obviously curious. We wait.
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He has bought a bunch of things. Snacks here, some spices there, Cocopine juice, yoghurt, two whiskey glasses, cereals...It was a very eclectic shopping list.
His total comes up and he hands the cashier his card. She plugs it, keys in a few things then hands the PDQ back to him.
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😂😂inject.
I’ve seen guys post about me being arrested
I’ve escaped
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Tulikuwa tunashindana na kina Osama kuprint banners in Nanyuki with personal money kumbe yeye ako na budget ya State House.
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They could build a nuclear reactor plant inside the 152 acres of Alliance High School, blow up Kikuyu constituency, evacuate everyone within 30 km, rebuild the school from nursery school like career mode 20,000 years later and the podium would still not belong to Mang'u niggas.
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"Mr President, people are saying you don't listen"
"Okay, they are wrong. Let me tell you about universities though."
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Assuming he spends 5 hours daily on calls, that would be 9,000 minutes per month. Safaricom offers 3,000 minutes for Ksh 2k valid for 30 days. Ksh 6k for 9k minutes.
4k for 50Gb bundles (30 days)
Total, Ksh 10k.
There is absolutely NO REASON anyone needs 25k for airtime.
Airtime ya huyu imeshinda mshahara ya Jss intern ya mwezi mzima
Jss intern earns 17k
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Doctors are not your mates. You don't have as important a job as them (you stare at excel sheets all day).
As much as we've been coddled as a generation, the unfortunate truth is that we're not equal, & doctors sit at the top of that pyramid, right next to the extremely wealthy.
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So my suit jacket had one of these in one of the inside pockets 😭😭
And the way I'm broke bana. 💔
This would have seriously boosted my
#ParteAfterParte
😒😒
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I occasionally look back at the life I lived and sometimes wonder how different life would have turned out had I told far less lies.
There was a certain part of my life where everything was falling apart and I created for myself a narrative to keep me going.
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I would have said coitus yourself pls but I was raised right, so I will not.
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As I looked across the table, I saw a reflection of myself. The pragmatism; the respect for solitude; the desire to be left alone; the expressionless stare; the independence; the disregard for indulgence in pointless desires; the principles; slow to anger, fiery when in it...
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Hi there,
I've decided to expand my WhatsApp storytime to anyone else who might be interested.
I've been scared of sharing because then I get the pressure to keep up and idk man😂. It's long, you can rt if you feel like adding unnecessary pressure to my life.
Thanks😁
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In Nanyuki, tomorrow it's Gotha tena!!✊🏾
Stop getting distracted, stop getting divided.
Those doing abductions on behalf of looters, I'll quote your boss. "Power is transcient". Today you have access to it, tomorrow you don't.
#RejectFinanceBill2024
#OccupyNanyuki
#FreeShad
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