Just call me Les ❤️🇪🇺
@lesmartin7
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12,893
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cynic, left leaning, Labour member, trying to enjoy life. I apologise now for my rubbish jokes #NHS Sunak is like a fortnight, too weak. no DM's
Joined May 2011
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To prevent a water shortage I am announcing that all swimming pools must close two lanes immediately.
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BANKSY, if you are out there, please, please, paint a mural at a children's asylum centre, and let's see how Jenrick reacts.
Might be worth a retweet to catch BANKSY's attention.
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Hello, I'm Esther McVey I've got a made-up job with a made-up mission to manage a made-up problem. Yes my job is pointless!
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From next week:-
TV broadband UP 7.9%
Council tax UP 4.9%
TV Licence UP £10.50
Rent for social housing UP 6.7%
Water on average UP 6%
Car tax VED UP 6%
Rail Fares UP 4.9%
So there you have it, Sunak says he has a plan... to bleed you dry.
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Let me get this right, if I drop litter I get fined £100, if I fly tip I can be fined or jailed, if someone else dumps shit in the river, I'm going to pay them to fix it, thanks 😬
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"Hello, is that my mortgage provider, I can't afford to pay, so just hold your nerve, I'm assured by Risky Sunak, he's 100% on it, whatever that is".
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Another sneaky wheeze from the Tories, they are dropping the threshold when students start paying back loans at 9% from £27,295 to £25,000 AND extending loans payback from 30 years to 40 years.
Not seen Gillian Keegan on TV explaining this claw back have you?
Sneaky pillocks!
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It would appear that 3 by-elections will be 20th July, why has Sunak picked that date? because Parliament will be shut for 6 weeks from that date, followed by party conferences, his last pmq's will be 19th July, so he's running away and hiding from the electorate, WEAK WEAK WEAK.
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"I, as chancellor approved £2.6m on a media room to launch announcements, that's why, like an idiot I'm stood in the pouring rain with the Labour soundtrack blasting away in the background, making me look a pillock "
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We are promising 150 new GP Surgeries, but what I'm not telling you is that the Tories have shut 459 surgeries since 2013.
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Stamps up 13%, train fares 5%, rates 5%, food inflation 7%, car insurance 35%, house Insurance 25%, 12 hour waits for A&E, can't get a GP appointment, shortage of specialised teachers, few NHS dentists, and still 25% of the population are going to vote Tory.
I'm exasperated!
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"Hello is that the police?,I'm being burgled"
Police "Sorry sir we're very busy"
"He's still here!"
Police "We're still busy"
"He's refusing to move, says he holding a silent protest"
Police "We're on our way".
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I give to the weakest PM ever, he can't stop the boats, he won't sack Nadine Dorries, he doesn't speak out about rape victims, in fact he doesn't do much at all except take trips in jets and helicopters.
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You know the £140m we have paid Rwanda, well, they have used the money to build accommodation and they have put their own people in them. So we are actually paying Rwanda to build homes for Rwandans, well done Braverman.
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Here I give you
@KemiBadenoch
minister for equalities and women, why isn't she on the airwaves today denouncing what the £10m Tory donor said about Diane Abbot?
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I'm Gillian, and I want head teachers to pick up missing pupils on the way to school, no I'm not going to pick up Nadine Dorries on my way to parliament, who's been absent for a year (and been getting paid full whack)
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Where's Sunak?
Water companies in a mess.
Rwanda deal falling apart.
His MP'S in trouble over Privileges Committee.
Banks profiteering.
If anyone sees him, just tell him to resign.
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Went for a prostate examination today, trousers down, pants down, curled up, knees to my chest on my side, I drew quite a crowd in Boots on the perfume counter.
I thought you could use any pharmacist! Didn't get a chance to use my Advantage card.
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Last week
@RishiSunak
said mortgage rates are coming down and the plan is working.
This week Santander raised rates and tomorrow HSBC said they will also raise mortgage rates, what a brilliant plan Rishi!
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Sunak says he can't comment on Menzies because it's an ongoing investigation, but at PMQ's on Wednesday he commented on Angela Rayner, even though there's an ongoing investigation, double standards.
@RishiSunak
you're talking bollocks again.
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Here I give you air miles Sunak, with his head in the clouds burning 222 litres of aviation fuel per hour and he wants you to believe he's on your side. Integrity?
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According to the Sunday Times, visitors to Chequers were Richard (get you a loan) Sharp ex bbc, Sam (I've got £800,00) Blyth and Lord (No 10 flat refurbisher) Brownlow.
Also 2 friends of Carrie's who stayed overnight, when households couldn't mix.
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I won't be swearing allegiance, but the waste of money will make me swear, £100m they tell us for staging the Coronation+ £150m for security, plus the rest, bloody hell! When there's children going hungry, homelessness, everyone getting poorer, yes, I will be swearing all right.
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I saw a brilliant plackard held up by a doctor:-
WE HELD THEIR HANDS
AND WATCHED THEM DIE
WHILST YOU HELD YOUR DRINKS
AND SOLD US LIES.
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Here's one to watch this week, Rishi Sunak
@10DowningStreet
@RishiSunak
will publish Liz Truss's resignation honours list (9 months late) alongside new years honours list. This is very sneaky and underhanded, hoping no one will notice. He's a weak prime minister. Please RT
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I hope the constituents of Robert Jenrick paint over his election posters. What's good for the goose is good for the pillock.
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If Keegan's portacabins are so good, why did she blow £32m on her department's headquarters? She could have ordered portacabins for her own people.
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You couldn't make it up, refugees being moved off the Bibby Stockholm over fears of Legionaries disease. Braverman and Jenrick are a laughing stock.
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More good news for Sunak:
Chris (the arse) Pincher sleaze report is due within days. They are expecting a suspension that could trigger another by-election.
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From the 1st May prescription charges are rising to £9.90 per item.
Not heard Victoria Atkins shouting this from the rooftops.
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Now I'm in my seventies I might join Deliveroo, so if my doctor orders a takeaway, at least I'll get to see him.
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Remember me, I forgot what Dover-Calais is for, the sea was closed in Crete when Kabul fell to the Taliban, feminists are "obnoxious bigots" people using food banks "aren't languishing in poverty" and obviously I'm no bully after 24 different complaints.
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Just think about this: Tory law says if you're a rape victim, you have to hand over your phone and be interrogated on it's contents, whether it's relevant or not.
Sunak: No you can't have my phone, there's things on the phone I don't want you to see.
Who's the victim here?
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Soon to be out of work MP, are you going to give him 30p for a meal?
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Tomorrow, Sunak is going to make an announcement that the government is giving £1/2bn to make batteries for Jaguar/Rover (by a Chinese company I'm told) in Somerset, strange may it seem, there's a by-election in Somerset the following day, coincidence? bribery? No of course not!
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Does anybody else see the irony of millionaire Sunak getting fined £50 for breaking the law over covid and £50 for not wearing a seat belt OR a homeless person getting find £2,500 for 'smelling' or worse being jailed.
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Sunak and Hunt kept this quiet, living standards are on course to fall by the largest amounts since records began.
Worth a retweet me thinks.
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Nat West shares crashed worth £770m, which represents £300m to the taxpayer, yes you! Thanks to the frog. What a pillock.
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Help! Does anybody know how to cancel a bid on Ebay? I put £3 on a cowboy outfit, and now I'm 6 minutes away from owning the Tory party.
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Andrew Rosindell MP representing Romford. He was arrested in May 2022 suspected of sexual assault including indecent assault & abuse of a position of trust, which he denies. He's not entered parliament since, he's had his bail extended 6 times, he's never told his constituents.
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Hi, I'm Rishi and "I'm on the side of motorists".
No I won't lower the tax on fuel, No I won't reduce VAT on fuel or car insurance, No I won't touch road fund licence charge, No I won't subsidise EV's or charging points, but I can assure you I'm on the side of motorists.
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Wetherspoons to sell a further 39 pubs.
Tim Martin as been quiet lately.
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It's the budget on 6th March, you will be bribed by a tax cut, probably NiC, it's no good having a few extra pounds in your pocket if you can't see a GP or go to A&E and there's a shortage of doctors and nurses, no police to come to your rescue or teachers etc etc.
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Tory MP David Davies loses his shit on BBC question time over Rwanda, and personal attack on Bridget Philips.
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Cummings has said "Truss is properly crackers" and "Hancock and Truss are narcissists who turn to politics as a sort of low grade alternative to being a celebrity"
Wow, this is going to be fun.
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@Conservatives
@nadhimzahawi
I'm so good at maths I wasted £37.5bn on test and no trace to where the money went, I've wasted £12bn on fraudulent ppe contracts, £42bn on the Brexit divorce and we wasted £78bn on Kwarteng economics, that adds up to er....... a fu*king lot!
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It's just been announced there's been a £5 million REDUCTION in the so called levelling up fund for us here in Yorkshire. Thanks for nothing Sunak.
They're laughing at us.
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It's nice to know your taxes are being well spent, £300k per WEEK is being spent on an empty barge, it's been empty 2 months now, so that's about £2.4m down the drain, never mind the mooring costs and subsidies to Dorset Council. 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇
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Good morning, it's
#FollowBackFriday
#JohnsonOut46
I love the
#NHS
I stand with
#Ukraine
if you agree please follow, a retweet would be appreciated, have a great day.
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Shopping for OXO cubes, I saw beef, chicken, lamb, vegetable and a Liz Truss, so I asked the shop assistant "what’s the Truss one?" she said- "its new out, its the laughing stock"
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You Tory pensioners out there, how do you feel about the budget, did it for you? Because there was absolutely nothing for you, how can you trust Sunak?
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This is shocking! Alongside the new illegal immigration bill, custody officers will now be able to use force against children, so they can then physically remove children from their parents. Take a minute to read this.
👇👇👇👇🥴👇🥴🥴👇👇👇👇👇👇
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Menzies has resigned from the Tories, and will not stand at the next GE, I say we need a by-election NOW!
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There's a new game where you go to the loo, then jump in your car and head to the coast to see if you can beat your sewage to the beach.
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Sunak is just like John Major but without his charisma.
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Sunak is saying there's a plan for 300,000 extra doctors and nurses in 15 years, it'll be just like the EXTRA police, it swill consist of replacements not 300,000 over and above what we have now, it's a con from a CONservative. Don't buy it.
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This Sun story is a great distraction from high mortgage rates, Johnson's phone missing, asylum seekers, civil servants pay increases being blocked, cost of living, the list goes on, but the media is obsessed with the BBC. We're been taken for fools.
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Conservative run Kent County Council has been warned by it's external auditor that it faces bankruptcy. To avoid going bust it's considering cutting children's and adult services and leaving job vacancies unfilled.
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The Tories say we are the world's 6th biggest economy, you've a legacy of 4 million children in poverty, record numbers of food parcels, sewage in our rivers and seas, undrinkable water, potholes, NHS in continuous crisis, high taxes, releasing violent prisoners early, just go!
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Some of the Tories are describing Sunak as "having the charisma of a doorknob" that's not fair. Doorknobs are useful.
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@carolvorders
We've spent £42bn on Brexit divorce, £37.5bn on test and no trace, £12bn on fraudulent ppe contracts, £30bn on Kwarteng/Truss economics so surely you can't expect us to spend £1.2bn on paying nurses a decent wage, there's no magic money tree. unless you donate to the Tories.
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Well, it looks like HS2 is being dropped, which in turn the North forgotten, promise after promise to level up, business were told to invest in the North because the government was going to, lie after lie after lie. And still, the silly buggers will vote Tory, I despair.
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This is Shaun Bailey, he's both an arse and a tit.
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@RishiSunak
Hey Rishi, clamp down on tax dodgers too like Nadim says, Oops didn't realise he's been caught out!
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It turns out Johnson has spent £250,000 of our money on lawyers. Now he's sacked them because they were useless, revealing his "illegal " gatherings at Chequers. So if he hires some more, are we expected to foot the bill again? The world's gone mad!
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Will be on sale at all good charity shops from Saturday for 25p
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After reading
@JohnnyMercerUK
tweets and
@carolvorders
tweets, it's obvious Mercer is toast, he's failed to keep his cast iron promise for veterans, he's let them down. Goodbye Mercer at the GE in May (hopefully)
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@carolvorders
Breaking news: Michelle Mone has won a £200 million contract to recycle tents taken from the homeless.
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14th consecutive increase in mortgage rates to 5.25% and Sunak says relax, he's on our side. High inflation, highest national debt ever, highest ever NHS waiting lists, kids going hungry, increased homelessness and people still intend to vote Tory, what's wrong with people?
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Here we go again, Tory MP Steve Brine being investigated for breaking lobbying rules, what will Rishi (the weak) Sunak do?
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So Sunak,
@RishiSunak
what are you going to do now?
Integrity, accountability, professionalism.
Let's see some action.
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#FollowBackFriday
is here again.
If you follow me be aware that I'm anti-tory
#FBPE
Labour supporter and I love the
#NHS
I support the
#Ukraine
, my jokes are terrible, but I will follow you back.
Have a great day.
A retweet would be appreciated.
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Never forget what the Tories have given you. A RT wouldn't do any harm.
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Breaking news:- over 5,000 have crossed the channel this year so far, almost 10% more than 2022 and 32.6% higher than 2023
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Food inflation 18.3%
Inflation 8.7%
But the worst figure which won't get much coverage today is that core inflation ROSE to 7.1%.
Where's Rishi?
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Do you remember when in 2019 the Tories pledged to "fix social care once and for all " and £600m funding pot, this will now go to pay existing staff and recruitment.
Another Tory manifesto promise down the pan.
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@campbellclaret
@TWFDUFC83
Now everyone knows Huw Edwards has been named, I hope this will not be used as a distraction by the Tory media to deflect from how the Tories are mismanaging the country, especially high inflation, high taxes, high interest rates, NHS in crisis etc
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Since Johnson got sacked, he has picked up £4.23m for speaking, out of 190 votes in the HoC, he's missed 187, inc voter id, National Security Bill, Illegal Migration Bill and Online Safety Bill, I'm sure his constituents are happy... not. This is what he should be doing👇👇👇👇
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The juxtaposition of these two headlines in today's Guardian is not lost on me, what do you make of it.
👇👇👇👇👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
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Another Tory MP is being investigated by the police and IPSA over an alleged falsely pocketing taxpayers funds used for housing.
Watch this space.
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#FollowBackFriday
is here again.
If you follow me be aware that I'm anti-tory
#FBPE
Labour supporter and I love the
#NHS
I support the
#Ukraine
, my jokes are terrible, but I will follow you back,
Have a great day.
A retweet would be appreciated.
Please no DM'S
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Bloody hell! News channels sensationally say William has visited his wife in hospital, I did that for 41 days every day, travelling, parking, etc, and running the home. How come I didn't get a mention?
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5 new Sunak pledges
1) increase mortgage costs
2) don't stop the boats
3) guaranteed interview with Deliveroo for all pensioners
4)Reduce the the value of your home
5) make everyone poorer except the top 2%.
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Just announced on local news that in Yorkshire 25% of children live in poverty
@RishiSunak
, it's all going well.
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A record number of asylum seekers arrived yesterday, 711, the highest number for one day this year.
Hey
@RishiSunak
that Rwanda plan has certainly frightened them!
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I'm so good at maths I wasted £37.5bn on test and no trace to where the money went, I've wasted £12bn on fraudulent ppe contracts, £42bn on the Brexit divorce and we wasted £78bn on Kwarteng economics, that adds up to er....... a fu*king lot!
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If a man speaks in a forest and there's no woman there, is he still wrong?
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Sunak and Atkins have cheated (lied) claiming waiting lists are falling, by moving 7,000 people from referral to treatment data list to waiting lists for community services. In fact waiting lists increased by over 6,000.👇👇👇
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When I said earlier that Sunak is in for a 3 hour grilling today, he's already made an excuse to leave after 90 minutes for a "pressing engagement"
Might be for a chicken sandwich.
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@RishiSunak
If you earn below £26K you're worse off, very disingenuous of you
@RishiSunak
.You're not to be trusted.
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The Tories have known for months about Menzies over the allegations of using misappropriation of funds. Not until the Times published the story have they suspended him. WEAK.
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I'm watching Racheal Maclean on Sky news, somebody throw her lifebelt because she's drowning.
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Has Dominic Raab been found guilty of bullying yet?
I haven't forgot have you?
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