Leila Register Profile
Leila Register

@leilaregister

Followers
733
Following
671
Media
856
Statuses
11,108
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
wonder what I’ll do today besides bring joy to my community
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
just asked if it was possible to order a smoothie without the protein powder and the guy said “what are you afraid of?”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
Can some pls explain Alison Roman’s assessment of avocados in Dining In vs. her assessment of them in this interview?!! This has been driving me crazy for months!!!!! Not trying to be rude towards her I am just genuinely curious..
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 months
subletting my room in crown heights for may and june. 🌺right by prospect park, great porch, great roommates. dm if interested!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
this is whitmer Thomas and his friends/ collaborators
@SICKOFTHEHYPE
death metal housewife
4 years
midwest emo band
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
*eating 1/4 of a cbd gummy* guess who’s going to jaaaaaail tonight 👽
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
excellent ep with some @SocialistAlt and @RWDSU members working to unionize at amazon in Bessemer, AL
@briebriejoy
Briahna Joy Gray
4 years
‼️New @BadFaithPod : The Bare Minimum‼️ Does Rep. Jayapal's rationale for not leveraging her COVID bill vote to get a $15 min wage make sense following the revelation that progressives did threaten to withhold their votes over unemployment benefits?
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
friendly reminder that when there’s nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 months
I have a new story out in Joyland. 🤠
@JoylandMagazine
Joyland Magazine
6 months
"We picked up a fifth of Jim Beam at the corner store and he bought me a keychain with my name on it." —from 'The Voice' by Leila Register ( @leilaregister ), new today on Joyland
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
Hello I have a few very short stories in @havehadhavehad today - they are about neighbors, headaches, and desperate women. I can’t thank @bud_smith enough for making this happen I’m obviously freaking out!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
months ago I drunkenly replied to this woman’s ig story where she asked “what should we name our newest earring” and today i awoke to the incredible news
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
10 years
Mark Richt spotted with a lasso trying to tackle the ominous tornado. "Not on my campus, pal" he yells to the sky
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
i love when a new book comes out you get to see so many people’s thumbs
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
omg @lithub blurbed one of my stories in @havehadhavehad !! so wild - (thanks @AdamJeffreyJr1 for sending this to me)
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
10 years
"It's a satire told from the POV of a one-armed barista in which coffee beans act as a metaphor for consumer culture" @GuyInYourMFA
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
i'll be reading fiction submissions for @svjlit today and tomorrow and also the day after that. max 1,600 words. i like stories where someone says something i've never heard before. anyway send me anything you want: svjonlinefiction @gmail .com
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
8 years
"want to just shower here?"
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
putting on my earrings
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 years
Hello friends, Happy Monday - I'm making a movie about my mom, the most lovely and fascinating person I know. I wrote about why I'm doing it, here:
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
PLEASE read: my comments on the most recent situation 🙏
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
happy friday please read this
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
bf watched one of my favorite movies last night and accidentally had “Audio description” enabled the whole time
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
My favorite thing to do is shut my laptop and run into the sea
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
i have the best mom...i love that she wrote this like a news intro!
@asiehnamdar
Asieh Namdar
5 years
Like so many others - freelance artists are taking a huge hit. Among them, a talented designer and illustrator who until a few weeks ago had countless projects. She happens to be my daughter. I'm posting Leila's website - in case anyone is interested.
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
send me your fiction @svjlit 🕊anything up to 1500ish words. anything you want. im lying down if that’s ok to say
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
the locksmith i had to call last night just followed me on Instagram
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
had to get this off my chest ❤️
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
series i made for @MSNBC love how they turned out 🤠
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
when a recipe calls for just ONE clove of garlic??? Grow up!!!!!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
Grown-ups to me when I was 22: OMG 😂 when I was ur age I didn’t even know how to *read* 🙌 and I stole cars 4 fun! U need to relish in ur YOUTH! Be drunk always! These are the good times 😍 Grown-ups to me now: And your husband’s name is?
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
my first byline 😎👯‍♀️
@NBCNews
NBC News
1 year
“My faith is the biggest reason I have for climate optimism,” said Zahra Biabani, 24, an American organizer and author who is of Pakistani and Indian descent.
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
Fav times for when things are: 8:30 AM (can get over with) 10:00 AM (can hav bfast) 10:30 AM (feels more chill than 10) 8:00 PM (feels like u can be late) Least fav times for when things are: 11:00 AM (always late) 12:00 PM (traffic) 3:00 PM (depressed) 6:30 PM (unrealistic)
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 years
To this day my grandpa will not let me near his computer because when I was 6 I made his homepage :/
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
yesterday i drank 18 life-ruining beverages called “white claw surge.” sorry to everyone ❤️
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
my "google home" didn't recognize my voice this morning
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
cool images of me running late somewhere yesterday
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 years
I just ordered a gin & tonic at the bar and, without missing a beat, the STRANGER next to me shook his head and said, "god I wish I was 23 again" we rly do be transparent like that
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
♥️♥️♥ ️
@MarkDanowsky
Mark Danowsky (he/him) ✰✰✰
4 years
Meet @svjlit 's new Fiction Editor for the SVJ Online journal @leilaregister ! ! ! #fiction
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
this is how men should text
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
wild how quickly someone can go from needing "just a super simple logo really quick - possible to do for free? :)" to "thanks for sending this! any chance we could try something with trees? i've been super inspired by the sky lately! good luck figuring out what this means!"
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
11 months
what the fuck is this….
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
hello all
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
hello! i am available for design commissions and even have a new website: (it's fun you can drag and drop things all around the screen) 🤠 don't - as they say - hesitate to reach out!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
loved this first issue of @frwell_trans . i have a few very short stories in it if you would like to read them. thanks to @LobotomyRob for letting me be myself
@frwell_trans
Farewell Transmission
1 year
Issue One is up! Thanks to all our contributors and staff
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
my unpaid intern (who is like a daughter to me) is threatening to leak this photo to the press!!!!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
❤️❤️❤️ this was cool!
@itsnicethat
It's Nice That
3 years
Graphic designer Leila Register’s interest in mundane, everyday objects contradicts her wonderfully playful and lively designs >
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
7 years
Group of teen girls at work just collectively "awwwww"'d after one of them explained that her crush is "learning to respect women" ...ladies...........,..
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
when ppl who follow me don't "Like" or "Engage with" my posts it's because the thought of my death makes them smile and laugh
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
???? I’m sure “Adobe Photoshop 2020” would like to do a lot of things
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
just because someone decided i haven't been crying enough.....here's my mom interviewing my 84 yr old grandparents about how they're coping in the midst of a global pandemic which is a sentence i never actually thought i'd type!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
ppl will be like “back on my bullshit” and it’s a picture of a smoothie they made
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
Today I told my mom I want to have a job that’s “outside” and she said outside of what
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
i always listen to a podcast before meeting up w a friend so i can hear an example of how a conversation might go
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
Dying to know what a “headspace” prepared to receive “hurtful information” looks like
@YanaBirt
yana
5 years
I just want to say, a lot of y’all dump information on your friends at the wrong time without their consent. If you know it’s something that could hurt them, ask permission before you decide to be messy. Please.
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
I stand by this
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
I’m sure u could make the argument that I should consider Getting A Life.....believe me I’m trying
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
7 years
90% of my barista job is finding creative ways to respond to women who have recently come from yoga and look at the case of pastries as they announce "i shouldn't"
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
8 years
a preview
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
just texted crush In the most insane way due to the famous drug shrooms :-) wishing myself The best on this one
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
i have an announcement
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
doing Pilates on the sand while my bf surfs
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 years
delivery guy just delivered my order thru my back window!!! i heard a faint *rapping* behind me as i rested on my couch and looked up to see a man w paper bag smiling! i opened window, grabbed bag, said thank u, never even left couch. sorry, i absolutely had to tweet this.
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
blurry pics of me laughing in a bar last night. i like them
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
good morning All!!!!!!!! ⚾️🏆❤️😍
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
today i am the age 27 which is more beautiful as a number than 26
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
guy who looks exactly like this is sitting in exit row. flight attendant just walked him thru what that means and he said “that’s kind of a vibe.” yes!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
I have a new story in @havehadhavehad about cheap cocktails, bad desserts, and trying to escape your own life (lol) - thank you again to @Bud_Smith for making it happen!!!! Happy New Year obviously!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
8 years
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
pickled red onions are the tastiest little freaks
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
5 years
I love being khejalati
@asiehnamdar
Asieh Namdar
5 years
Love this picture of my then 9 year old daughter meeting former President Jimmy Carter. He was so kind to Leila who picked that exact moment to be khejalati (shy). Happy 95th Birthday Mr. President. #JimmyCarter
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
lying down making one of my classic faces
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
today was huge for couples hanging on by a thread - setting up rly elaborate picnics at the park and speaking to each other every 18 minutes to say stuff like “it’s so much warmer than yesterday”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
asking the question on everybody’s mind today...DO I wish my high school crush happy birthday
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
Had an incredibly restful night of sleep ❤️
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
earlier was sitting next to man writing a script. did not want to look too closely due to i think that's rude but the one line of dialogue i did see was a character named "Janitor" saying "I think you better run."
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
im gonna start calling myself a “lover of words” and “sleep enthusiast” so normal guys will fall in love w me
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
Montauk pilled 🌊😍
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
once again I want to make it very clear that I’m at a jam band music festival with my boyfriends mom
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
three months into my job and i just sent my first email ♥️
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
10 months
my favorite kind of bar is one where everyone seems to know each other but nobody knows me. a woman walks in and the bartender asks “how’s your leg doing.” a guy walks in and another guy asks “did you get the email from Ray”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
took my top off in the back of a CVS to receive my second shot - life is meant to be lived
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
me last night when I was in a dark place
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
not to be wanderlust but i got lost on my morning walk today
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
called AT&T to cancel my internet and a woman asked why i wanted to cancel - i said “i’m going to a place that already has AT&T” and she said “i completely understand where you’re coming from”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
10 months
some of my favorite collages i made this year <3
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
the main thing i had to do at work today was make the letter "E" a little bit smaller in this company logo. 10 hours later? the E is definitely a little bit smaller. another perfect day. 👍
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
gonna spend this evening doing what i do best: eyeballing measurements for a recipe that demands precision
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
i have to post exclusively to close friends on Insta bc otherwise someone i haven’t spoken to in 11 years sends me a message that’s like “ha ha i have those same shoes in green”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
1 year
having once again the time of my life
@DohaMadani
Doha Madani 🩵
1 year
Also omg everyone give a round of applause to @leilaregister for this gorgeous cover art. Only a true VPR fan could give us this masterpiece.
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
yes!!!!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
2 years
scheduled telehealth appointment due to unbearable throat pain…final step of intake form was “photo upload”…i uploaded what u might call a “headshot”…doctor was like thank u for that but we actually just needed pic of ur throat
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
huge congrats to the creative team over at anthem for putting together these stunning visuals 🙏 it’s such a privilege to collaborate with you guys
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
my crush (27m) is bringing me (26f) to a “one Hundred” “gecs” show
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
curiosity
@jillboard
Jill Gutowitz
3 years
sorry, what situation would call for one to “sort by price: high to low”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
6 years
Crazy how if our dentists didn’t meekly say “mk” a second time, we’d just be suckin on that lil thing forever
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
Trying to manifest the things I need.... Health insurance ❤️❤️❤️ Twitter do ur thing!
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
just received DM from the locksmith. “remember me?” with this emoji: “🙆‍♂️“ Feeling safe and amazing :-)
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
4 years
one of the worst things a person can be is “on a call”
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@leilaregister
Leila Register
3 years
oh i tweet too much? well have u considered i hate my job slash life......
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