Leila Register
@leilaregister
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Pinned Tweet
wonder what I’ll do today besides bring joy to my community
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just asked if it was possible to order a smoothie without the protein powder and the guy said “what are you afraid of?”
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Can some pls explain Alison Roman’s assessment of avocados in Dining In vs. her assessment of them in this interview?!! This has been driving me crazy for months!!!!! Not trying to be rude towards her I am just genuinely curious..
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subletting my room in crown heights for may and june. 🌺right by prospect park, great porch, great roommates. dm if interested!
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this is whitmer Thomas and his friends/ collaborators
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*eating 1/4 of a cbd gummy* guess who’s going to jaaaaaail tonight 👽
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excellent ep with some
@SocialistAlt
and
@RWDSU
members working to unionize at amazon in Bessemer, AL
‼️New
@BadFaithPod
: The Bare Minimum‼️
Does Rep. Jayapal's rationale for not leveraging her COVID bill vote to get a $15 min wage make sense following the revelation that progressives did threaten to withhold their votes over unemployment benefits?
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friendly reminder that when there’s nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire
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I have a new story out in Joyland. 🤠
"We picked up a fifth of Jim Beam at the corner store and he bought me a keychain with my name on it."
—from 'The Voice' by Leila Register (
@leilaregister
), new today on Joyland
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Hello I have a few very short stories in
@havehadhavehad
today - they are about neighbors, headaches, and desperate women. I can’t thank
@bud_smith
enough for making this happen I’m obviously freaking out!
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months ago I drunkenly replied to this woman’s ig story where she asked “what should we name our newest earring” and today i awoke to the incredible news
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Mark Richt spotted with a lasso trying to tackle the ominous tornado. "Not on my campus, pal" he yells to the sky
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i love when a new book comes out you get to see so many people’s thumbs
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omg
@lithub
blurbed one of my stories in
@havehadhavehad
!! so wild - (thanks
@AdamJeffreyJr1
for sending this to me)
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"It's a satire told from the POV of a one-armed barista in which coffee beans act as a metaphor for consumer culture"
@GuyInYourMFA
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Hello friends, Happy Monday - I'm making a movie about my mom, the most lovely and fascinating person I know. I wrote about why I'm doing it, here:
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PLEASE read: my comments on the most recent situation 🙏
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bf watched one of my favorite movies last night and accidentally had “Audio description” enabled the whole time
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My favorite thing to do is shut my laptop and run into the sea
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i have the best mom...i love that she wrote this like a news intro!
Like so many others - freelance artists are taking a huge hit.
Among them, a talented designer and illustrator who until a few weeks ago had countless projects.
She happens to be my daughter.
I'm posting Leila's website - in case anyone is interested.
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send me your fiction
@svjlit
🕊anything up to 1500ish words. anything you want. im lying down if that’s ok to say
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the locksmith i had to call last night just followed me on Instagram
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when a recipe calls for just ONE clove of garlic??? Grow up!!!!!
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Grown-ups to me when I was 22: OMG 😂 when I was ur age I didn’t even know how to *read* 🙌 and I stole cars 4 fun! U need to relish in ur YOUTH! Be drunk always! These are the good times 😍
Grown-ups to me now: And your husband’s name is?
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my first byline 😎👯♀️
“My faith is the biggest reason I have for climate optimism,” said Zahra Biabani, 24, an American organizer and author who is of Pakistani and Indian descent.
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Fav times for when things are:
8:30 AM (can get over with)
10:00 AM (can hav bfast)
10:30 AM (feels more chill than 10)
8:00 PM (feels like u can be late)
Least fav times for when things are:
11:00 AM (always late)
12:00 PM (traffic)
3:00 PM (depressed)
6:30 PM (unrealistic)
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To this day my grandpa will not let me near his computer because when I was 6 I made his homepage :/
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yesterday i drank 18 life-ruining beverages called “white claw surge.” sorry to everyone ❤️
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my "google home" didn't recognize my voice this morning
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I just ordered a gin & tonic at the bar and, without missing a beat, the STRANGER next to me shook his head and said, "god I wish I was 23 again" we rly do be transparent like that
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♥️♥️♥ ️
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wild how quickly someone can go from needing "just a super simple logo really quick - possible to do for free? :)" to "thanks for sending this! any chance we could try something with trees? i've been super inspired by the sky lately! good luck figuring out what this means!"
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hello! i am available for design commissions and even have a new website: (it's fun you can drag and drop things all around the screen) 🤠 don't - as they say - hesitate to reach out!
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loved this first issue of
@frwell_trans
. i have a few very short stories in it if you would like to read them. thanks to
@LobotomyRob
for letting me be myself
Issue One is up!
Thanks to all our contributors and staff
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my unpaid intern (who is like a daughter to me) is threatening to leak this photo to the press!!!!
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❤️❤️❤️ this was cool!
Graphic designer Leila Register’s interest in mundane, everyday objects contradicts her wonderfully playful and lively designs >
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Group of teen girls at work just collectively "awwwww"'d after one of them explained that her crush is "learning to respect women" ...ladies...........,..
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when ppl who follow me don't "Like" or "Engage with" my posts it's because the thought of my death makes them smile and laugh
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???? I’m sure “Adobe Photoshop 2020” would like to do a lot of things
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just because someone decided i haven't been crying enough.....here's my mom interviewing my 84 yr old grandparents about how they're coping in the midst of a global pandemic which is a sentence i never actually thought i'd type!
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ppl will be like “back on my bullshit” and it’s a picture of a smoothie they made
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Today I told my mom I want to have a job that’s “outside” and she said outside of what
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i always listen to a podcast before meeting up w a friend so i can hear an example of how a conversation might go
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Dying to know what a “headspace” prepared to receive “hurtful information” looks like
I just want to say, a lot of y’all dump information on your friends at the wrong time without their consent. If you know it’s something that could hurt them, ask permission before you decide to be messy. Please.
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I’m sure u could make the argument that I should consider Getting A Life.....believe me I’m trying
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90% of my barista job is finding creative ways to respond to women who have recently come from yoga and look at the case of pastries as they announce "i shouldn't"
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just texted crush In the most insane way due to the famous drug shrooms :-) wishing myself
The best on this one
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delivery guy just delivered my order thru my back window!!! i heard a faint *rapping* behind me as i rested on my couch and looked up to see a man w paper bag smiling! i opened window, grabbed bag, said thank u, never even left couch. sorry, i absolutely had to tweet this.
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blurry pics of me laughing in a bar last night. i like them
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today i am the age 27 which is more beautiful as a number than 26
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guy who looks exactly like this is sitting in exit row. flight attendant just walked him thru what that means and he said “that’s kind of a vibe.” yes!
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I have a new story in
@havehadhavehad
about cheap cocktails, bad desserts, and trying to escape your own life (lol) - thank you again to
@Bud_Smith
for making it happen!!!! Happy New Year obviously!
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I love being khejalati
Love this picture of my then 9 year old daughter meeting former President Jimmy Carter. He was so kind to Leila who picked that exact moment to be khejalati (shy). Happy 95th Birthday Mr. President.
#JimmyCarter
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today was huge for couples hanging on by a thread - setting up rly elaborate picnics at the park and speaking to each other every 18 minutes to say stuff like “it’s so much warmer than yesterday”
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asking the question on everybody’s mind today...DO I wish my high school crush happy birthday
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earlier was sitting next to man writing a script. did not want to look too closely due to i think that's rude but the one line of dialogue i did see was a character named "Janitor" saying "I think you better run."
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im gonna start calling myself a “lover of words” and “sleep enthusiast” so normal guys will fall in love w me
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once again I want to make it very clear that I’m at a jam band music festival with my boyfriends mom
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three months into my job and i just sent my first email ♥️
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my favorite kind of bar is one where everyone seems to know each other but nobody knows me. a woman walks in and the bartender asks “how’s your leg doing.” a guy walks in and another guy asks “did you get the email from Ray”
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took my top off in the back of a CVS to receive my second shot - life is meant to be lived
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not to be wanderlust but i got lost on my morning walk today
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called AT&T to cancel my internet and a woman asked why i wanted to cancel - i said “i’m going to a place that already has AT&T” and she said “i completely understand where you’re coming from”
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the main thing i had to do at work today was make the letter "E" a little bit smaller in this company logo. 10 hours later? the E is definitely a little bit smaller. another perfect day. 👍
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gonna spend this evening doing what i do best: eyeballing measurements for a recipe that demands precision
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i have to post exclusively to close friends on Insta bc otherwise someone i haven’t spoken to in 11 years sends me a message that’s like “ha ha i have those same shoes in green”
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having once again the time of my life
Also omg everyone give a round of applause to
@leilaregister
for this gorgeous cover art. Only a true VPR fan could give us this masterpiece.
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scheduled telehealth appointment due to unbearable throat pain…final step of intake form was “photo upload”…i uploaded what u might call a “headshot”…doctor was like thank u for that but we actually just needed pic of ur throat
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huge congrats to the creative team over at anthem for putting together these stunning visuals 🙏 it’s such a privilege to collaborate with you guys
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my crush (27m) is bringing me (26f) to a “one Hundred” “gecs” show
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curiosity
sorry, what situation would call for one to “sort by price: high to low”
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Crazy how if our dentists didn’t meekly say “mk” a second time, we’d just be suckin on that lil thing forever
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Trying to manifest the things I need....
Health insurance ❤️❤️❤️
Twitter do ur thing!
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just received DM from the locksmith. “remember me?” with this emoji: “🙆♂️“ Feeling safe and amazing :-)
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oh i tweet too much? well have u considered i hate my job slash life......
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