Chelda
@legendofchelda
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Following
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Statuses
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artist/gardener/Joanna Newsom enthusiast❤️ I make art and plants🌿insta: legendofchelda
Joined July 2014
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Last Seen Profiles
god: here is a beautiful sunset to watch alone u stupid bitch
me: yikes ok
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I'm vegan now but I'm still gonna eat eight spiders a year on cheat days
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Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit
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There should be a friendly horn sound in cars so u can be like boop thank u friend
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Now when you ask people how their day is going you gotta be like "well I mean other than everything"
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I'm skeptical of god's existence but mood rings seem legit to me
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Damn, even took the seasoning off the fries
My friend used an AI photo app to “enhance” a photo we took and yall look what this app did to us?
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Puffins always look like they're gradually learning to love themselves despite the odds
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I think about dude from Men in Black asking for sugar water like way way way more often than I thought I would.
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One time I texted someone "what's up" and then I got high and thought they sent me that text so I responded to my own text "not much"
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I'm suspicious of people who only want to hang out at night. It's like, are you trying to fuck me or is this a vampire situation
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Time isn't linear we just perceive it that way bc it's beyond our ability to experience it all at once
Boss: k but you're still late
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Sometimes I hear my dad try jokes out on the dog before he comes to tell me
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Trump supporters bragging about the Boston crowds thinking it was their white supremacy rally is my favorite thing
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When he says he gets feminism but won't call himself a feminist
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@moongrudge
Ooh do u know that's his baby and the baby will become it's own version of the big guy eventually and u can pull it off and pop it in another pot 🥹
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Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie
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Toby passed away in his sleep last night. Before we went to bed I told him it was okay if he was ready to rest. That he had fought so hard and been such a good boy and that if he was tired of struggling it was okay to let go. He's not in any pain anymore now. Rest in peace baby
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I go out and I draw stuff and I try not to think sad thoughts
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You (basic as fuck): I love dril he's so funny
Me (very hip, in the know): dril is eating my pussy right now
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Good first date questions:
1) What do u do for fun
2) What’s your favorite food
3) Are you racist
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There is a huge part of me that thinks every English person I've ever met is faking their accent
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your boyfriend does not "love" you. he is food and comfort-motivated and has been bred to be affectionate. he is not capable of human emotion. nor should you expect him to be ♥️
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My ideal man:
1) Feminist
2) Will take care of me
3) Doesn't see the two concepts as mutually exclusive
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"Im gonna show this feminist that harassment isn't a problem!"
-Man, searching
#nowomanever
tag for women to harass
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Oops I got kicked out of the animal crossing fb group for sharing this lol
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Can't believe George Washington would have been 2016 years old today, truly inspired.
#America
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When I watch movies with with my niece, she asks every time a new man comes on screen “he’s a nice guy or a mean guy?” and it’s like aw welcome to life kiddo let’s wait and see
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Is it basic to say I wanna put an olive garden breadstick up inside me
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Just heard a very southern lady at the store say “I don’t want them organic berries baby I want the nasty berries”
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How to talk to a woman without being creepy: perhaps imagine she is a man or someone else you view as human
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Being a woman online is weird people r always trying to murder u
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Gonna hollow out a book and then hide a slightly smaller book in there
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Didn't even buy this dress just used it for the picture, sorry dress
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here’s something a lot of people don’t know about stuff. they’re essentially things. I will talk to you later
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Sometimes I hear my cat playing piano in the living room. He’s getting better
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Submitted my design today for a local poster contest. Cross your fingers for me! I wanna win so bad!
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I took my pigtails out before the pizza guy got here so porn wouldn't happen
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I hate when I get invited to an eccentric billionaires house to play a game and it turns out it’s not what it seems god damn it
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A boy just told me he doesn't like cucumbers because they taste like ghosts
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Guess who hung the paintings for her first ever gallery show today? (It's me I did it)
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Your most intelligent, beautiful, talented friend introducing their boyfriend
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Hate when I go back too far creeping someone's pictures that suddenly they have braces and are a teen
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My niece: (after walking by roadkill) Sometimes people get dead.
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My niece painted this and I asked her what she wanted for it and she said shells so I used seashells for currency today
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We can respect different opinions on stuff like crunchy or smooth peanut butter, not about cops murdering people.
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AOC was just like maybe we shouldn't forget which people were super racist and Megyn Kelly is acting like she made a hit list lol
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What did u think of that part after the credits where chewy and Rey fuck
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I forgot my vibrator at home so now I have to use my fingers like a damn pioneer woman
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@latkedelrey
Super weird that she didn't even mention acne once, like she's never heard of skincare being products for anything but wrinkles??
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PSA don’t hurt these lil evil Alf lookin dudes in your garden they are baby ladybugs
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Me: Ok better start actually being funny on twitter or everyone will unfollow me
Me tweeting: what's the deal with leaves
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Trump: Maybe we should all just eat human flesh
Everyone: Don’t worry he doesn’t have the authority
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