Akiva Wienerkur
@Keev26
Followers
4,924
Following
258
Media
195
Statuses
8,688
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Last Seen Profiles
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Have an idea for the RAANAP mailbag today? Submit your ideas here.
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"Who's Ben Shapiro?"
- My very smart wife, making a great argument for never using social media.
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2K
Haven't done much Olympics tweeting, but here's a fun fact:
Katie Uhlaender, who will try to win a medal in women's skeleton today, has served as a camera operator on five seasons of Survivor.
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Two years ago people were making "Is that show still on" jokes about Survivor and now people are coming up to me at work and telling me they're watching Australian Survivor.
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The only funny part of this whole survivor season is that Jeff and the producers 100% spent the past six months thinking they NAILED this whole thing.
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When you realize you need to eat 32 flavors of ice cream in the morning.
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288
Watching Survivor: Amazon with my son and midway through the episode, when
@robcesternino
is on screen, he turned to me and asked "wait, where is Chester?"
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SOURCES: Akiva reaches newest low point yet as he pays $3.99 on YouTube to watch the 2019 film Cats.
11
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252
My sons are pretending to playing Among Us around the house and I just heard the six-year-old tell his little brother, "go kill dad and then vent to the kitchen."
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Just posted a picture of my son to the family group chat, with the caption “the cutest kid on the school trip” and my daughter responded to the chat saying that she was also on the trip.
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30 RHAP podcasters step into the ring for the most important event in the history of the internet.
It's....the RHAP Royal Rumble.
41
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Seems pretty unfair that so many people who are 65+ can't get the vaccine yet, but my son's imaginary friend named Banana "has been vaccinated nineteen times."
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Survivor: Oops, All Podcasters
Gabe Ortis
A radio host from Baltimore, Maryland. He was the host of the radio show "Two Way Talk" and the Flock Talk, a podcast about the Baltimore Ravens. He graduated from Morgan State University with a degree in Applied Liberal Studies. In 2022, he won a journalism award.
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Honestly, this episode is like no other podcast you've ever heard before.
It's also remarkable how Lindsay Wilson put this together by herself, with no experience.
Podcasts like Reply All and Serial have 10+ staff members and havent done anything half as interesting in years.
11
7
208
At work they asked us a few weeks ago to share a picture that shows the highlight of your year and to add a caption.. Totally forgot about it, but now I see they displayed them.
10
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201
I told my five year-old son he could only play on the phone during my daughter's basketball game when my daughter was sitting on the bench. He spent the ENTIRE game yelling at her coach to take his sister out of the game.
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About to find out what people who don't follow sports do for fun!
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9:30 AM: My two year-old walks into my room and hands me his barely eaten apple, saying "mom said you would finish it," which I do.
9:35 AM: My wife casually mentions that the doctor just called and our son has strep throat.
13
0
174
I borrowed my sister's phone for a second and a message popped up from a text group named "Wienerkur Family."
Only issue: I'm not in the group and did not know it existed.
10
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165
2016 Akiva cancelled.
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3
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Let me the first to wish my
#1
gentile
@robcesternino
a happy birthday. I know his dream has always been to have 84,200 followers, so hopefully we can get him over that mark today.
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Trying to convince a co-worker to let everyone in the office pick a potential baby name for his unborn daughter and then make a bracket of the 32 best names and invite his wife to the office for the contest.
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3-year-old son: My brother hit me!
6-year-old son: Self-report! It's a self-report! He bit me first!
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My grandfather bought Jets season tickets in December 1964, days after they drafted Joe Namath.
He first took me when I was five in 1988, though I asked to leave early when fans started burning giveaway hats with the Jets trailing Buffalo 31-7 on Monday Night Football. (1/4)
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149
@PFTCommenter
Explaining to Roger Goodell that the players will stop kneeling when you color-rush the American flag
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People truly don't realize how few Jews there are on Earth. There are religions you literally haven't heard of that are larger than Judaism. But we're one (small) family.
I am forever grateful for my non-Jewish friends who have allowed me to express grief without asking if it’s warranted, for my non-Jewish friends who continue to check in. I am holding many thoughts and feelings. I am scared, I am sad. I am tired.
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Signing off for 24 hours in a few minutes, but I just listened to the first 2 minutes of the Sleepover Podcast and its a 72,000 out of 10.
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You might be good at your job, but you aren't 'Blake Shelton's publicist' good at your job.
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Just when I thought getting 4000 followers was the peak of my birthday, I received the greatest gift of all: a personalized birthday text from Jordan Kalish.
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My wife's brother and his girlfriend have been quarantining with us, and after being trapped in my house for two weeks, the girlfriend just walks around all day saying two things:
"Forget the mustard, it's karate time" and "my face is my job, my face is my job."
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Podcasts:
New
#NGOG
this week.
On 32 Fans, we pushed off the NFL talk for some sober discussion about what happened in Israel and what likely comes next.
New Rob and Akiva coming this weekend- form out soon.
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I say this with complete sincerity. This is rock bottom for me. Can only go up.
I’m so sorry if we know each other in real life and you follow me on Tik Tok like none of y’all probably understand why I’m making fun of two men pushing 50
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Yesterday in a family group chat, my wife's cousin posted that he just got engaged and like three minutes later someone else posted a picture of his brand new baby, born that second. Truly one of the greatest one-uppings in history.
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Should their title be revoked?
@CTCSquares
Congrats on CTC winning our podcast's live Cereal Tournament!
Where should we send your trophy?
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Twitter weirdly blocked my account for a day, and now I came back to this, and I wish it was blocked forever.
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Can one TikTok win a Grammy and an Emmy?
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Was hoping to spend the summer getting paid to watch the Olympics, instead I'm spending it getting dunked on by my podcast's AI Twitter robot.
Rob and Akiva figure out how to transform T-bird back to normal
The only problem is Akiva is such a baby
I know this episode is a little far-fetched but I wanted to put...
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There's always a 'Flinstones-meet-The Jetsons vibe' when your separate friend gorups meet for the forst time, but it was particularly jarring to hear my oldest friend say "Wow, I can't believe i get to meet Ali Lasher and Missy."
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Me, out loud to myself: Is hubris pronounced hyubris or yubris?
My daughter, overhearing: It's uterus.
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It's my grandfather's 91st birthday and out of caution he is taking it easy and not working today. He is a CPA born during tax season, so I asked him the last time he did not work on his birthday, and he guessed about 1956-58, before my dad was born.
Solid 60+ year streak.
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When I was a kid, golf & tennis were about equally popular.
Now, golf is exponentially more popular in the U.S. than tennis.
However, women's golf is essentially dead, while women's tennis is thriving.
Basically, Tiger and Serena have singlehandedly saved their sports.
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113
Listening to one of the dozen podcasts we're checking out for RAANAP this week and I just pinpointed the exact timestamped second where
@robcesternino
is going to delete the podcast, retire from podcasting and become an accountant or something.
12
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Part of the
#RAANAP
that
@robcesternino
and I just recorded is going straight into the 2020 Best Of.
No need for it to even be in this week's episode.
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My grandpa turned 90 today- he still works as a CPA. He told me he was most excited about the following two things, in order of importance:
1. Getting free pancakes and ice cream from IHOP when he told the owner it's his bday.
2. Outliving all his childhood friends.
5
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112
It riles me up when I see ppl mad online saying "I'm a diehard Eagles fan, but I won't watch games if players express any political opinions."
First of all, you were were never a diehard fan then. If Roger Goodell kidnapped my children, I would still watch the NFL that Sunday.
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Pretty sure my great grandchildren will be very confused when they Google me one day.
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114
If I'm at my daughter's basketball game and she fouls out in the first half, I can leave, right?
I'm not here to watch these other kids play.
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I've spent my whole life as a fan just praying for the Jets to make the Super Bowl once and Taylor Swift gets a title after three months as a fan.
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3. I just realized that both of the above tweets probably sound insane if you don't listen to our podcast. Oh well.
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I thought of a great tweet in the middle of the night, but I didn't write it down and I can't remember it, so hopefully this tweet does huge numbers to make up for the one that's lost to history.
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Eh. Sounds like a lot of work.
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I just finished The Irishman the true way Scorsese intended for it be seen:
By watching five minutes, then pausing to watch five minutes of 90 Day Fiancé, then searching Instagram to see who is still together on 90 Day Fiancé, then five more minutes of Irishman. Repeat 40 times.
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Watching IT TAKES TWO as it was intended to be seen, on my phone in bumper to bumper traffic with my kids asking from the back why I'm watching an Olsen twins movie.
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Right To Left:
King of the Dorms, President of the United States
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Next
#RAANAP
episode will be in six weeks after
@robcesternino
and I sort through all this.
H/T
@lialeahh
and
@brianferrara
.
7
2
107
One year ago today,
@robcesternino
and I (and
@achester99
) went to Minneapolis to do the impossible:
record three live podcasts in one day.
I can't wait until 2023 when we can run it back again.
9
3
107
Huge congrats to diehard N.C. State fan
@robcesternino
on his squad making the Final Four. As a lifelong member of Wolfpack Nation, I know this means so much to you.
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2
104
If you haven’t listened to this podcast yet, I have two words for you:
Grow up!
This week on Episode 60 of
#RAANAP
I had a game night where
@Keev26
and I took on
@AMikeBloomType
and
@LianaBoraas
in a series of games hosted by
@kirstensaidwhat
.
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103
Watching Masterchef Junior with my kids and at the final-6, instead of sending home any of the kids, they eliminated "guest chef" Miss Piggy. My kids might riot. Truly the worst twist in reality TV history.
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102
Please fill out this year's
#RAANAP
census so
@robcesternino
and I can bet on the answers on this week's podcast.
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Some new Republican congresswoman said "Hitler was right about one thing" like four hours ago, only it feels like it was in 2017 and I've already forgotten her name.
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102
One year ago we named a baby. Kind of.
Would you let trust me or
@Keev26
to name a baby?
One couple trusted RAANAP with coming up with a name for their son so we brought in
@babynamesdotcom
to help us sort through your suggestions and give our picks to the parents
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104
If you start this podcast at 9:32 and 30 seconds tonight, you can ring in the new year with my Different Strokes joke.
With only a few hours left before we ring in the new year, I just dropped our BEST OF 2019 Special with the top listener suggested moments from the past year on
#RHAP
🍾🛎️
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In TLC Shows Are Trash, a special guest and I introduce
@robcesternino
to the queen of all guilty pleasure shows, 90 Day Fiance.
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102
Loud guy at my Super Bowl party said he has never heard of The Rock, so he is definitely not going to see this People's Elbow coming.
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If you are a regular
#RAANAP
listener, you can rate the first 64 episodes here, and
@robcesternino
and i will guess and discuss the rankings during an upcoming mailbag.
S/O to
@randyknup
for making the form.
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This week's
#RAANAP
has everything:
A blindfolded groom
@holli_p0p
&
@Chris__LeCompte
@robcesternino
in a suit
@Chappells_Show
&
@kirstensaidwhat
as Best Man/Maid of Honor
Two dissapointed moms
@WillFromAmerica
on keys
Me almost dying by laughing too hard at my own joke.
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102
A few days ago
@robcesternino
told me he wants to do a podcast with me, just without recording it....in case you thought human interaction was on the decline
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32 Fans has more Patrons than it has iTunes reviews proving that people would rather give you $5 per month in perpetuity than rate your podcast.
5
0
101
He replied, "Well they're definitely improved, but they're not really championship caliber."
Anyway, the Jets have the chance to do the saddest thing of all time this season. (4/4)
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Someone just came up to me at a funeral and said "I'm sorry, I heard about your big loss," and it took me a few seconds to realize that he was talking about the Gonzaga-UCLA game.
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We watched all nine Fast and the Furious movies in two days at 3X so you wouldn't have to.
We also did a 5 hour podcast about it, so you wouldn't have to.
When you crave adrenaline like
@Keev26
and me, you watch the 9 FAST AND THE FURIOUS movies for the first time at 3X.
I proudly present to you: 3 Fast, 3 Furious
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Finally, it’s the AnA vs. the BnB
Back in June
@AMikeBloomType
@LianaBoraas
@lashtweets
and
@keev26
kicked off pre-season discussion for the 40th season of
#Survivor
with a draft of the 20 returning winners.
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Just found out they're giving the vaccine to doctors and nurses BEFORE podcasters!
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