jvst sam §
@just_samueli
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Glory glory Tottenham Hotspur 😂😂jokes Kwa umbali(furaha nyeusi😂)
Joined February 2023
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Nilishaa make peace na the fact that kukua na dem sio basic need
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"Gaitho nimesema ushuke hatuta anguka juu yako,nasitajirudia tena"
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Kesho nikipatana na Siah Wanja on my way to Arkansas pale aiport
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Hiyo story ya single mom imenikumbusha siku nishai kuwa na entanglement na single mother without knowing,so I meet this woman nikiwa shughuli zangu taoni,and we lock eyes exchange numbers and talking stage ikaanza, fast-forward three dates later naitiwa away match
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Hapo after kumaliza form four jamaa nilikua na kutu ya 18 years inanisumbua kama nonsense,hapo ni penye ungeniacha na mbuzi Kwa room moja ingeitana,so nikingoja ngoja results pale nikiwa malishoni I meet this fine chick,manze msichana akona kila kitu manze,
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I'm convinced women who lack a father figure ndio huset standards for men in an effort to recreate the father figure they never had
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Kama hutaki mambo yangu we sema bana,sasa "I need a favor" ndio kusema nini
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Unaingia mjengo ukidhani watu huko hawajasoma unapata foreman akona masters ya Medicine
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Aki sijaielewa how j.segera does it walahi,juzi tu hata si kitambo juzi,najipea moyo,infinix hot 10 yangu Kwa mkono, Kwa umbali naskia harufu ya my 100 bob cologne iki graze the air,I decide to approach this lady hapo Macha naivas mzee hapo nje,nilifika na "How are you?"
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Nataka mwenye tukikosana tuna argue alafu ananislap ,namshika mkono namvuruta mbele namkiss ,ananikiss back, alafu tuna guthana ololo, alafu tunasameheana
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My pal with one of the coldest and baddest spoken words of the century,if you can listen and give it a like,I promise you ni moto🔥🔥 ifikie hao makarao
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Nimetulia tu hivi narizz dem wa Kilimani akaniuliza "demure" ni nini,mi nikamwambia ni ule msee fulani wa Ochungulo Family,saa hii sioni dp
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@SirGlavan_
Mine😂
Kesho nikipatana na Siah Wanja on my way to Arkansas pale aiport
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Mimi nikiwaambia hakuna kitu sija jaribu kupata hii kalatas mnafaa mniamini,mimi na my pal mutiso tushai anzisha youtube channel pale Kathonzweni,tulikua tuna record in my neon kika na tuna edit na filmigo, Channel ilikua inaitwa "The Kathos ninjas" ,content naye ilikua...
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Nishai uliza baddie "can you come over?" Akanijibu na "aight bet", nikamwambia niliacha kubet juu muhindi anakula doo yangu sana akaniblock,sijai elewa nilikosea wapi
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My neighbor amewahi ninyima kamata nipikie mpoa ugali,na mimi sikuteta nikajua ni sawa, saw that luhya girlfriend of mine breaks up with me juu sijui kupika ugali,haikuniuma juu nilijua atleast nime save some few cents which could have been wasted on food ,so my neighbor..
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Shida yako nikudhani ni lazima utumie drugs ukuwe na a happy life,we umejaribu Yesu?
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Hata msiombe nimeshaa kula L😂
Sisi ugly niggaz kitu itatuokoa ni pesa tu, anyways kuna mahali nilituma picha saa sita nataka mniombee
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Jameni siutaua huyo dem na salamu,leo tuma hata za sadaka
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There's no need to justify your going or not going to church,if you believe in ancestors stick to that,at the end of the day only being a good person matters
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Moja Kwa moja mpaka Kwa mlaguzi, enough trauma for the day
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Nimejipata nikismile over texts za Maproso wangu,nimezima data na nikatupa simu Kwa corner ya kitanda, siezi taka kufanyiwa chenye Munga alifanyiwa
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Bado unasumbuana na corner ya blanketi na kwenyu ni wewe solo ukona smartphone
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Mahali imefika kama niko na deni yako itabidi uende kwetu uambie mama yangu akupee vifaranga mbili juu sioni nitatoa wapi pesa ya kukulipa
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Enyewe ma simp hukapitia,huyo alidinyiwa manzi na msanii,alafu akafutwa kazi publicly
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Unapatana na Dem Kwa line ya kuchukua bursary alafu anakuja kukuekea standards
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At least Mimi niko mjengo,Kuna mtu mahali akona tie ya 20k na Hana kazi
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Back in my prime simping days good guy syndrome ilikua imetandika mbaya sana,nakumbuka Kuna this fine chile wa hapo Macha uni I used to eye so one day nika decide I go for it,mimi huyo kijana barobaro wa 19 years nikajituma nikapewa number,fast foward we started talking,pale
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Huku shagz inabidi umeenda kutolea hasira kwa ng'ombe, mambo ya kubang mlango unaachia wazungu
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I remember pale nikiingia 1.1 ,nimeingia na ile saying ya eti "madem ndio watakukatia" wakukatie na hiyo sura yako kweli,after ku realize hizo zilikua tales nikaamua kujituma manze nisake mpoa,nikapata this sine Meru babe,akona nyash ingine wagwan yenye inaeza fanya uhamishe watu
Lakini naye kukeep a woman lazima ukue na doo,nikona story ingine moto nafaa niwaangushie😂👍
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Foreman akona jokes sana,nimeanguka ndani ya mixer akaniambia "unataka kujificha na ndio kazi inaanza"
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Sisi virgin boys tunakapitia sana,unaona tu magoti ya dem kigongi ishaa mbao ikafika Kwa kitovu
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Watu huku nje hawana huruma,mtu anaskia baridi na badala akimbilie sweater anakimbilia manzi yako
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Foreman saa zingine wanakuanga na jokes sana,nakumbuka during my mjengo days nishai aibishwa na mmoja Kwa site,so this day tunafanya koroga hapo lakini ile manual one,you get Ile ya kurusha cement na spade huko juu,hii haikua nyumba kubwa,so it was not that big of a deal
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Chances za kutumia akili after umepokea the "I miss you" text hukua very minimal
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Mbona hamkuniambia kuwork smart si kuvaa luku uende job,oneni sasa foreman amejam juu nimekuja na Clark's wallabees kazi
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Huyo mtu unachase sana akona ukedi,give it a rest will you
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Kuna reason mbona mayai pasua ya streets ni tamu kuliko yenye unajiundia Kwa keja, whatever you do with this information is up to you
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Back in my prime saa hii ningekua nimeongeza Good morning text chini ya Good night text yenye iko chini ya "How was your day?"
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Hakuna kitu hunibamba kama unyime Dem alafu ajam,like yeah sis,hiyo yako sitaki na hakuna kitu utafanya
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Nakumbuka in my baddie chasing era nishai pata mmoja wa kilimani,msishangae kijana ya Kathonzweni alijuania wapi na baddie wa kilimani .So huyu Dem alikua ananitext vitu hata sielewi,nikitext kitu anarudisha "wdym" ,nikimuuliza kama nikuje ananishow "ASAP", mimi naye siradi
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We are living in a country where most people end up never using their academic certifications. So guys what next after the degree?
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Independent women hukua na hasira sana,unaeza msalimia hata akupige kofi,kama bills zimekua mingi madam,siukubali mtu akushike shike tirries hasira ipungue
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Tech skills bila connection na beshte mkale block utatoka labda ya mjengo
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Unaangalia Dem unashangaa kwa nini anakaa watchman,kumbe anaitwa Linda
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"God leo protests zijipe,tusikule teargas Kwa wingi na maji ikue moto,Amen"
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Nyi huumake jokes about a girl crying to you alafu unambao na hii kitu ni serious,I remember sometime last year there was this girl tulikua friends not that much of friends ,ile ya Heying from time to time,so ilifika time the boyfriend cheated on her and she came to me ...
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Ukiamua kua non-chalant alafu ujidanganye u chalant kidogo madharau utaonyeshwa hutawahi heal
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Ugly and Single dudes hatunanga a shoulder to lean on,inabidi umepeleka masaibu yako ya mjengo and life in general huko PES,unafinyiwa mpaka unapata your senses back
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Niko mahali naenjoy chai yangu ya mdalasini,Bt hapa kando Ina blast fally Ipupa,mambo ya the gender that cost us eternal life niliwacha,Mpesa balance inasoma -237.06, lakini atleast nimeamka na boner
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Ukitoa bangi,warazi na masanse Kwa ngoma za wakadinali unabaki na prime Stevo simple boy
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Lakini mi hu wonder vile a guy unaeza pata depression juu ya madem bana,like download Pes finyia watu 6 waquit,ingia locals chapa jug zako mbili ama moja,whichever you like,ingia streets commission milaya hapo ulipe 500 with no feelings attached alafu rudi Kwa drawing board
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The "yako" in "Sina pesa yako" inakuanga silent,so stay guided
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Saa hii nikiingia kitchen nahakikisha nimeacha ikikaa clearance sale,mimi pekee ndio najua mahali narudi
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Sijai elewa mbona ufiche maboyz wako kwenye unatoa doo,ati "Ni God",msee kama unakunurwa mabuti na wazae wa Karen alafu wanakulipa niambie bana ,adui ni poverty msee,Wacha kundu iume nikiwa ndani ya porsche Cayenne bana
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Born to say "I know my rights" but forced to say "afande nikona chwani,utachukua?"
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Tulikosana last week, leo amenitext niende nipimwe. I guess anataka kusema pole na suti ama kitenge☺️
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In my prime saa hii ningekua nishaa pokea "Penda wewe sana" from my Kathonzweni baddie,nikambao mpaka kidogo nitoboe mattress
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Unaniuliza siri ni gani na nikikwambia tuingie koroga na wewe unakataa
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Mtu anasema anasaka peace of mind kumbe saa hizo anamaanisha dem yako
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Jana niliingia sherehe mahali in an undisclosed location,nikapiga jug zangu mbili na nikatulia niskize Ngoma za the infamous Fally Ipupa,niko hapo naenjoy the night then this Chile comes talks to me manze,when did girls get this bold,she even proceeds kueka her phone number...
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In my endeavors za kutafuta my dream body nilijipata Kwa gym,niko hapo sijalipia trainer juu najiaminia,hii masaa niliingia kulikua na madem kadhaa hapo,mimi huyo after warm up nikaingia benchpress,kilo 50 kwanza za kuanza siku,huyu Dem akakuja kunijoin tupige sets na yeye
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"Babe nilikua naona game",a statement that will never come out of my mouth
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Pesa babako haezi come up nazo in 3 days unatoa wapi audacity ya kuniitisha urgently saa nne usiku?
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Yaani udinyiwe Dem na bado muhindi akukule,alafu we ni fan wa Man U,kwani how unlucky are you?
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Nikama ile stage ya broadening of hips Kwa adolescence madem wa murima waliruka wote
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Leo usiku after kuwatch some Fulham Masterclass nataka niingie kwa keja nichape chapo zangu tano na ndengu nikiskiza Fally Ipupa with my Guarana on the side
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Naonanga dates zikiwa so unnecessary,si tuambiane tu chenye tunataka Kwa simu tumalizane
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Craziest thing someone ever told you when you asked them for your money?
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Unaingiza ya kwanza msichana anatetemeka kama kinyozi unadhani ume over perform,kumbe ni kifafa ime kick in
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Unaenda kumtext "I miss you" unakumbuka labda akona mtu wake hapo kando na wataisoma wacheke unaachana na yeye
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Mwenye alisema lazima ukue na doo ndio ukeep manzi anakuanga jaba ajab,so kuna my pal pale campus kwao wako madoo ajab, lakini ye ni wale wasee hawapendi show off si kama wewe ukipata 10k lazima kila mtu ajue ukonayo. He's also dating this girl,fine one for a fact
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Hata mimi 2019 I was in love,we all blame Corona right ?
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Ata uvae skirt yenye slit inafika Kwa jegi,siku hizi tunaangalia size ya mapua
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Her :Babe kuja ,roommate ametoka
Me:Ayaya siungetoka na yeye mimi niko FIFA na
maboyz
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We ukioa corporate baddie ni Shauri yako,atakua anatoka job saa tatu usiku after kufinyiwa na boss wake Kwa janitors cabinet alafu akiingia anasema hapiki,inabidi you order take out,ukienda kupewa your rights Kwa bedroom anakataa,asubuhi ana take off mapema bila kupika chai aende
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Unaenda kuteka fresher unapata the only thing fresh about them is the name
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Nimebonda mkate nusu hapa ikakaa slice Moja na nikauma mara mbili ikaisha mathe akaniuliza narudi Nakuru lini
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