Ewan
@jelly_pack
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Chief Ghost Investigator and Reiki consultant at Heckler & Koch.
Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Joined June 2009
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Chan
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If Hamas were constantly uploading clips of themselves collecting the underwear of women they kill and mocking the toys of their dead kids, itt would instantly be turned into *the* enduring image of the "conflict". It would be broadcast 24/7 as evidence of Palestinian savagery.
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TERFS: You either have a penis or a vagina. Male or Female. Simple.
WOMAN OF COLOUR: *does well in sport*
TERFS: Ah, yes, biological sex is an incredibly complex issue with many facets. You see, if we want to ensure an equal playing ground we must endeavor to properly regula
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blonde-haired blue-eyed person named something like Sabine Mengele-Eichmann: my country, Venezuela, yearns for freedom
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I genuinely love twitter because the rich and powerful who would traditionally float through life without ever worrying about what the peasants say about them are now utterly compelled to access this information and drive themselves miserably insane over it lol
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JK Rowling is like a month away from announcing Dumbledore has successfully completed gay conversion therapy.
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Got to say, Jeremy Corbyn's house being about the size of two stacked sheds, and that somehow being valued £1m, is a pretty urgent reason to vote for Jeremy Corbyn.
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YouGov are like "which choccy biccy do Brits find cheekiest?" and "if there was a genocide tomorrow, who would deserve it most?"
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the woke taxi driver elite are increasingly out of touch with the salt-of-the-earth columnist
.
@GBNEWS
were setting up this taxi driver to slag off the rail unions about this week’s strikes. Watch what happens next. Not surprised the questions stopped there!
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The IDF invitation-only snuff film is incredibly successful propaganda because everyone on all sides is trying to innovate new ways to be mad at Owen Jones and meanwhile I just casually on my timeline saw a video of a Palestinian 9-year-old getting shot in the head
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Corbyn did a genuinely refreshing thing last night when asked about Epstein by immediately centring the victims, but I guess he pronounced a letter funny so fuck it lol
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something darkly funny about the phenomenon of nazis ending their lives in a blaze of violence that they think will inspire fellow travellers and cement them as legend, only to be instantly, without fail, declared an undercover gay antifa-Marxist by their entire community lol
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One of those weird dystopian things that slipped by quietly in 2019 was 'Finn's Law', named after a Britain's Got Talent magic act dog, which means it is now an animal cruelty charge to physically resist, in any way, a service dog that is *literally mauling you*
Latest: UK authorities tonight in Bristol, England set dogs on demonstrators protesting new legislation that could ban any future street protests in Britain.
#coronavirus
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You: The Iraq War was unforgivable.
Centrists: What if we do it again but change one letter?
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In the UK we have our own version of Fox News that you are forced to give money. If you don't give them money they send vans to your street that pretend to know if you are watching TV using magic.
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The actual insidious thing here, deliberately or not, is this framing being engineered on the liberal side where urgent images of a tragedy are reduced to "gore" in a way that obviously no one would say about other historic images of atrocities.
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The theory that Hamas is strategically using civilians as human shields kind of falls apart after the ~7000th demonstration that it is not an effective strategy against a state that is OK, enthusiastic even, about killing said civilians
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Everyone is too busy focusing on Houthi ET with his extremely cool gripless bullpup Kalashnikov to also point out that Jar Jar Binks was extremely unambiguously on the good side
@DanMKervick
The people rooting for the Houthis are the same people that rooted for Jar Jar Binks.
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"chiropractor" is the funniest possible thing you could pick to make this point lmao
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I can't stop laughing at Tommy Robinson trying to pretend he did 20 years instead of *nine weeks* by growing a patchy last minute beard and scruffing up his half-inch-longer hair.
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"I identify as an attack helicopter 🤣🤣", chuckles entire nation that will absolutely flip its shit if you do not respect its self-ID as "not racist"
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Weird how cops are suddenly stoic, calm de-escalators when they're confronted in a situation where their immunity to consequences has been taken away
look who my sister caught at Cub Foods in Plymouth. J. Alexander Keung, one of the officers who lynched
#GeorgeFloyd
in cold blood.
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'Tory Scum is the standard': Meet the young Conservatives abused for their political opinions
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[watching robocop-vision footage of a child recorded by a ubiquitous big tech owned AI surveillance system]
It is very disturbing and dystopian to me that the child picked up the little flag.
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LIBS: We'll revoke Brexit, but we support a referendum as a backup, but also we won't cooperate with anyone offering one.
MEDIA: *nods*
LABOUR: We'll get the best deal we can then put it in a referendum.
MEDIA: I'm SO confused. I have a headache. Can someone explain this?????
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Gotta say, 'Horrible Histories' - which is widely considered a beloved part of British childhood for generations - becoming essentially treasonous in the eyes of a big chunk of the UK *OVERNIGHT* is a pretty terrifying omen of how quickly things will spiral.
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This is such a beautifully illustrative clip of British class politics.
JHB condemns worker leverage as "holding the country to ransom" and 30 seconds later is laughing out loud at the concept of raising taxes on the rich in case they threaten to take their wealth elsewhere.
Julia: "Can the country afford the £14bn cost of everyone getting a 7% pay rise?"
Economist Ashok Kumar tells Julia why he supports the RMT rail strikes.
@JuliaHB1
|
@broseph_stalin
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Remember when Corbyn was *actually* publicly assaulted, and the entire media class either ignored it or turned it into fun little panel show joke
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This isn't groundbreaking journalism or anything but it does starkly demonstrate the sheer novelty in Britain of a politician encountering a journalist who isn't, at most, one degree removed from their dinner party circle. He genuinely can't seem to believe it's happening lol
Not a single English reporter at any of the major channels has ever grilled a PM like this
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BREAKING: The BBC's Gaza office currently engaged in clashes with IDF forces
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[SINGLE PARENT ON 16K]: Rising cos-
[80K EARNER]: Don't have kids. You don't need an iPhone. Plan your weekly shop in Excel. Skill up. Get a new job. Get a second job. Get a third job.
[LABOUR]: We'll raise tax by £10
[80K EARNER]: YOU ARE LITERALLY MURDERING ME WITH POVERTY
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Owen Jones could single-handedly Reverse Psychology every British journalist into eating a kilo of salt
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I'm pro middle-class people filling the trenches for climate activism, but I guess this kind of illustrates its limit. Access to one of the country's most hated men and they can't quite bring themselves to disrupt a posh wedding like they would a football match or whatever
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Crazy how switching from the Tories to Labour is such a lateral move ideologically now that the idea of mass defections is presented as an amusing little shakeup rather than a symptom of deeply sick mono politics and how utterly cynical and careerist everyone involved is.
MPs are cheering Tories coming into the Commons chamber in case they defect to the Labour benches 👀
#PMQs
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Genuinely nightmarish how quickly and successfully the police and media rewrote the narrative around Wayne Couzens into one where he was simply pretending to be a police officer
Any lone, plain clothed police officer who engages with a woman on her own will now verify their identity through a new process.
We know we need to regain women’s trust.
We fully accept the onus is on us to verify we are who we say we are & that we are acting appropriately.
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The version of World War II that exists in the heads of British people has got to be one of the most incredible achievements of historical negationism ever pulled off.
80th Anniversary of D-Day
Which country do British voters think did the most to defeat Nazi Germany? (5-6 June):
The United Kingdom 42%
The United States 12%
France 6%
The Soviet Union 6%
Canada 3%
Poland 3%
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The most beautiful illustration of how unprincipled right-wing weirdos are is that after decades of (continuing!) conspiracy theories about a billionaire elite putting microchips in your brain they are now all rallied around a billionaire who wants to put microchips in your brain
The FDA has approved Elon Musk’s brain chip company, Neuralink, to launch its first human clinical study.
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I think the Graham Norton thing is probably going to be the template for how the whole movement diversifies into more open homophobia. Keeping gay men in the public sphere under this state of constant public interrogation over whether or not they are a Dangerous Sympathiser
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New dystopian linguistic mind-torture just dropped: doing the requirements of your job is now a type of "quitting"
‘You’re not outright quitting your job, but you’re quitting the idea of going above and beyond.
'You’re still performing your duties, but you’re no longer subscribing to the hustle culture mentality that work has to be your life.'
This is quiet quitting.
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Jo if you pull this off you can have one (1) nuke
Esher & Walton, constituency voting intention:
CON: 46% (-13)
LDEM: 41% (+24)
LAB: 9% (-11)
via
@DeltapollUK
, 21 - 26 Nov
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Remember when some guy "confronted" Jeremy Corbyn by punching him in the head and instead of even slightly digging into or scrutinizing the politics and affiliations of the culprit, every melt journo had a wee giggle about it instead.
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People make the obvious point that in their world cis women who present even slightly masculine will be policed and deemed unwomen, but so will even the most traditionally feminine women if they have unacceptable politics or even *associations* lol
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British centrism is being so sure you are an expert in literally everything that you're like "ah, classic spontaneous combustion"
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It's very funny how quickly Jess Phillips managed to ruin her first W by *immediately* explaining she only did it out of narcissism lmao
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The quintessential British experience is being poor while constantly getting called "middle-class" by boomers with holiday homes because you said racism was bad.
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"We're doing le epic profits by letting trolls temporarily impersonate brands 🤣" is certainly a bold move to win those advertisers back lol
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Children of Men was way too optimistic in that it shows a Britain that has collapsed into apocalyptic dystopia due to something as serious like mass infertility, instead of something completely stupid like the Queen dying
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This name is a mathematical equation for the speed at which social services would remove the baby if they were poor.
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I'm genuinely rooting for these sorts of projects to happen. Preferably as quickly, as cheaply and with as many corners cut as possible. I want the absolute maximum number of billionaires contained in one of these on its maiden orbit.
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Do tell us about your lovely day at the Prole Zoo. What are their funny little hats like? Did they swear? 😍
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[Himmlerfan1488]: I die today for the white race. Please remember me by my manifesto
[Elon Musk quote tweeting conspiracy theory that the shooter is a secret liberal SJW to 150 million people]: Odd
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This is the single funniest reply I have ever received on this website
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remember like a month ago when the single most urgent issue on the planet was MPs hypothetically being made to maybe feel targeted or uncomfortable
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Weird how the insane horror movie stuff that keeps happening to Chris Packham never comes up in discussions about Cancel Culture huh
Harassment , relentless abuse , intimidation and now arson . And what next . . . ? I will not be cowed , I will not buckle , but can I ask for your help ? If you are an
@nationaltrust
member please sign to end hunting here and now .
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Book burning leads to fascism because the nazis did it and is therefore unacceptable, unlike pathologizing trans people which the nazis famously definitely never did.
So we’ve now reached the point where JK Rowling’s critics are advocating burning her books. Book burning. Remind me where that ends up.
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Weird how every single person who was posting "Je suis Charlie" and Prophet Muhammad cartoons 3 years ago is having an aneurysm over
@elivalley
right now
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This might actually be the first news story I've ever seen in the Guardian discussing the concept of transphobia that doesn't make gratuitous use of scare quotes and ultra-passive language. Weird. Very Peculiar. Odd. Couldn't possibly explain it.
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Your new GP in 2025 writing a £250 referral for Assisted Suicide:
We can build a future where AI drives growth, creates wealth and attracts investment in the UK, strengthening our position on the world stage.
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Excited for such cutting edge satire as "Putin is gay!!!" and "Putin and Drumpf (orange man) are fucking HOMOS together 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
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plane crash survivors have dodged being held accountable for too long
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Can't emphasise how important it is for anyone in the proximity of Tory politicians to film absolutely everything from now on.
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Even if this is true, it is even more monstrous and cruel to imply that explicitly stated policy is actually secretly appealable and people who have taken their lives over it should have simply divined this information in their panic and misery and shot off a quick email
A University statement on online reports about a student applicant.
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I have watched this twice and I simply can't believe it's real and that I haven't just been gassed by the Scarecrow's fear toxin
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Until about 2012 the main source of entertainment for the liberal media class in this country was calling Americans dumb and embarrassing for exactly this shit and now they're all Patriotism Grand Inquisitors lol
"Very odd"
That's what Jeremy Corbyn thinks of the decision to sing the national anthem at the Labour Party conference this weekend
Listen to the full interview with
@BBCNickRobinson
on
#BBCPoliticalThinking
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Everyone spare a thought for the true victim of Britain's brutal legacy of slavery
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Damn, if only there was a political alternative based on this exact sentiment that could have been given a fair platform at some point over the last few years.
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Jo Swinson gets more hostility and scrutiny from the media over the one issue she's actually good on, than all of the rest of her utterly horrific politics. I fucking hate this shithole country.
.
@joswinson
has no regrets over her policy to change the law to automatically recognise non-binary gender identities and allow people to self-identify without medical evidence
#Peston
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my favourite thing about this is all the people who haven't had a service job since they were like 19, if ever, being like "this is the peak evil of capitalism" and actual service workers being like "holy shit how do I get this job"
Rich people stuff like this where workers are made into anonymous hands serving champagne gives me the ick in a major way
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In a sane world multiple high-profile examples of the IDF summarily executing surrendering Israelis because they thought they were summarily executing surrendering Palestinians might spark some media scrutiny towards a policy of summarily executing people who are surrendering
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@SpecCoffeeHouse
"Lefties are fickle traitors with no loyalty to their country," says entire class of people who constantly fantasize about abandoning the UK to Teach It A Lesson the second something doesn't go their way.
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@RichardBakerr
@inthesedeserts
The UK is a country filled with people so heavily conditioned to despise the thought of other people being happy that it completely overrides not only the desire to be happy personally, but even a basic sense of self-preservation.
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Louise Mensch calling the police on a tourist pushing over the historic Tower of Pisa
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Poor people are generally not allowed to make it to 98 lol
I’m no monarchist but I’d love to know what you all think you’re gonna look like at 98
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Maybe Jo Swinson has killed thousands of innocent squirrels.
Maybe she hasn't.
The point is, if she wants to unite the country she must step down and be replaced by someone without all this baggage.
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[LIBERAL]: poor people be working at the racism factory
[ANTI IDPOL LEFT]: poor people be working at the racism factory and should unionize.
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Oh my god, they're going to try and make transphobia the thing they Corbyn-ize Bernie with.
A thousand shrivelled boomers who thought 'Gay Panic' was an acceptable reason to murder trans people until like a week ago are currently frantically putting pronouns in their bio.
Let’s be clear: Transgender equality is the civil rights issue of our time. There is no room for compromise when it comes to basic human rights.
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Genuinely glad British journalists are railing against the New York Times and lashing out so aggressively over the Trojan Horse thing. The more the rest of the world's media experiences first-hand how freakishly insular and cult-like ours is, the better.
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I'm sure the BBC and Emily Maitlis suddenly being all solemn and frank about the crisis of social inequality the nanosecond when doing so no longer risks validating a left-controlled opposition is just a crazy coincidence lmao
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Also a great illustration of how media-class homophobia manifests in 2023, that "I *am* homophobic, but I will keep it separate from my leadership" is considered a believable position that can (must, even!) be taken at face value, while "I am not homophobic" must be fraudulent
The repeated insinuation that Humza Yousaf is secretly homophobic despite his publicly stated views and actions in office is just straight up Islamophobia
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You are meant to look at this and conclude that the actor in this scenario who is most culpable and most morally responsible for the situation is the guy at the lever and not whoever tied a bunch of innocent people to train tracks.
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Someone will die, forcing the political/media sphere to do a big, introspective soul-search over how on earth we as a nation managed to let Chinese-Russian hackers cast their evil blood magic on us.
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I see we've reached levels of cognitive dissonance where the NHS leaks are old hat because they've been available on Reddit for months but also you can't have a go at journalists for not reporting it because how were they supposed to know?
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these freaks can't even imagine living in the real world without being like "and of course, I'd be the *manager* of the Lidl" lmao
I’d love to take a sabbatical from work to spend a year running a branch of Lidl or McDonald’s or something. Seems like extremely useful management experience and probably the closest you can get nowadays to being the captain of a Napoleonic Wars-era warship.
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fuck most liked tweet what was your most hated tweet. a tweet that ppl bothered u about for DAYS & sent u threats over. i probably have like 30
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i have pictures of bluey and sonic that my niece drew on mine
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Jeremy Corbyn must send me £1000 via paypal to prove he is not antisemitic.
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