I've been presenting the news on Radio 1 and 1Xtra for 7 years now. But as someone once said, "when the curtain comes down, it's time to get off the stage." So this is my last day on air before I vanish behind the scenes for a bit. Thanks for listening if you did!
The only bit of
#LineofDuty
that didn’t ring true was when the crime boss said “get me a screwdriver” and his henchman just went off without checking whether he wanted flat head or Phillips.
If this helps put things into context - my mate Jason is a postman. He put long trousers on today for the first time in his entire postal career. When the posties abandon their shorts - that's proper weather.
#BeastFromTheEast
#SNOWMAGGEDDON
What a wonderful way to end a brilliant 7 years. Thanks so much for all the messages - genuinely didn't think the news was that popular. Ha. And now I shall go on holiday. See you on the other side! xxx
Can I just say: authors - especially if you have the great good fortune to be successful. Please NEVER refuse to sign a book for a young fan. It’s the height of rudeness and ingratitude.
What if people who made stupid mistakes just sincerely said sorry instead of trying to throw someone else under the bus? 'Reduced to clickbait' - what, the journalist's somehow to blame for reporting what you said? Come on. Sit down, have some sugary tea and listen to Folklore.
Friend comes round for a glass of wine.
Friend: have you ever thought about having your sofa along that other wall?
Friend leaves.
Jenny:
Me: you grab that end.
Here's a fun Christmas fact for you. Not many people know where cranberry sauce was invented, so I've done some research and found the answer for you. It was invented in hell. In the darkest, hottest corner of hell. 🎄
This grass snake was photographed a by a group of visitors to Stanwick Lakes today.
The nature reserve is the perfect habitat for these harmless reptiles, with its mix of lakes, rivers and meadows. Next time you visit, see if you can spot one!
#stanwicklakes
So many lovely, lovely messages about my time on the news but I love this one. Sometimes news broadcasts and especially papers can make it seem like the world is going to shit and everybody's horrible. It isn't and they're not.
Rather than having authoritative voices, newsreaders are best with voices that at once comfort us and make us feel that things may, eventually, be okay.
@itschrissmith
@BBCR1
has been the best in truly wretched times. We will really miss him.
After 4 years together I’m delighted to say we got engaged at the weekend. As
@SamVaughan
knows, I always said I didn’t think I would ever get married. But then I met you Sam. You make me laugh every single day, you support me in so many ways and I adore everything about you ❤️
I’ve been working for over 20 years, and this book is the first thing I’ve ever done that’s just had my name on it. Releasing the cover today was a big deal that made me intensely proud and very nervous. Huge thanks to you if you liked or shared and made my day less scary. ✌️❤️
<vent> hey you complaining about
#GameofThrones
, it was you latecomer squares that ruined it in the first place with your memes and your fan theories and 'shipping' and trying to spooge 21st century mores onto a fantasy story. It's Oasis at Knebworth all over again. </vent>
Despite it becoming an instant bestseller, I’d just like to reassure you all that there are plenty of copies of The Great Dream Robbery available. There is no need to panic buy. DO NOT PANIC BUY OUR BOOK.
“Pooh,” said Piglet, “what do you think about people who tweet Winnie-the-Pooh quotes that aren’t from the original books?”
Pooh thought for a moment. “Piglet,” he replied, “I judge the hell out of them.”
“Me too,” said Piglet.
See that's the problem with Twitter - no room for nuanced argument. The correct answer is clearly: fill 2/3 full, then get in and continue to fill. This enables you to increase the temperature and acclimatise gradually like a lobster.
So dress up, don't dress up. But please celebrate reading and literacy. And if all else fails, a stripy t-shirt and a frying pan makes a quick Kid Normal costume. Peace and books.😘We love you
@WorldBookDayUK
.
I've started this week by coming off my bike on the ice straight into a puddle and now have to sit at work all day in freezing, wet jeans with mud all down the back. Not looking for sympathy but just, you know. It's all uphill from here basically.
Massive
#KidNormal
news ☂️
@gregjames
and I have signed up for a further two books 🧡
Episode II: Kid Normal and Rogue Heroes- March 22nd 2018.
Episode III: March 2019.
Episode IV (the best episode in ANY saga) coming 2020.
Thanks
@KidsBloomsbury
for being awesome.
There’ll be times in your life when your road will be tough.
You’ll be tempted to say that you’ve had quite enough...
But those are the times when you’ve got to keep moving,
And with every small step you will see things improving.
#nationalpoetryday2020
We’ve been in Chicago for 18 hours. We have eaten hot dogs, pizza and tacos. We guerilla-signed a copy of
#KidNormal
. We’ve been to a ball game. Now we’re going to cycle to
@BarackObama
’s fave brunch spot. What next?
It might help to remember that World Book Day isn't really about the dressing up. It's a charity that gets free books into the hands of kids. For many of them it'll be the first book they've ever owned.
No cheese and marmite toasties.
@gregjames
’ Sunday could not have got off to a worse start. Come and cheer him up at
@WHSmith
in Milton Keynes from 11am. (You don’t need to bring toasties)
We are delighted and honoured to welcome the former Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow to the Weidenfeld & Nicolson list, as we will publish his memoir UNSPEAKABLE on 6 February 2020
We can finally let this secret out! Greg and I have written a brand new
#KidNormal
story for
#WorldBookDay
2020. It’s an amazing charity that gets books into the hands of more kids. And kids who read become happier, more successful grownups. Win win win.
#shareastory
I love
@GBMofficial
so getting to hang out in the kitchen was pretty much my dream day. You can see
@gregjames
and I judging the puddings at 8 tonight on the mighty
@BBCTwo
🍰🍮🍭🍬🍫🍪🍦
I know how completely gutted
@gregjames
will be right now. Safety first though. Plus - hundreds of thousands of £££ raised for
@sportrelief
and awareness of such a vital issue raised - can't put a price on that. National treasure.
#Gregathlon
Happy 5000th episode to the breathtakingly brilliant
#BluePeter
. Been watching since I was tiny. Still watching now. And this was the best bit of the whole
#KidNormal
story so far for me.
#proudbadgeface
Well. I mean what to say? GUTTED! I first read the news for
@scott_mills
waaaay back in 1996. He’s the kindest, most talented, most modest presenter out there. And together with the greatest wingman ever
@Chris_Stark
- what an amazing show they do, day in day out. 📻 😢
We have some sad news to share..
@scott_mills
and
@Chris_Stark
have decided that they will be leaving Radio 1 later this summer.
Thank you from all of us for everything, we'll miss you greatly ♥️
Tune into their next show, this Monday from 1pm to hear what they have to say.
So what if it's
#HalloweenEve
. It's Christmas eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve. 🎅
Between all the lovely comments about Greg’s last show and my son’s final day at primary school today, I’m just about ready to curl into a ball for a month or two. 🦔
Wish my Grandma from Iowa was around to see this. The US edition of
#KidNormal
publishes next week. And by the way, we just found out that here in the UK, our books have sold over 100,000 copies. So if we'd made an album it'd be getting a gold disc! 🇺🇸💛🇺🇸💛
This is a popular children's book in Japan - The Bum Detective. He's a detective who "behaves like a perfect English gentleman" except his face is a giant arse. His catchphrase is "I smell trouble."
Apparently there are problems with the Batgirl movie because they can't think of a plot. Here's my idea:
Girl becomes Batgirl.
Batgirl has enemy.
It seems like she might not win.
Batgirl wins.
In 1938 a girl from America’s Midwest married an English boy and moved to Northamptonshire. Tomorrow her grandson’s heading out there to launch his second book in the US. Nanny’s not here to see it but I hope she’s proud.
The
#kidnormal
US tour has begun! We’ve made up stories with hundreds of kids in Chicago today and they were all awesome except the one who asked me “are you his dad?”
Unexpected addition to
@scott_mills
and
@Chris_Stark
's Whoovent Calendar today. It's me with the 1:30pm Newsbeat update. Chris Smith with the WHOOOOOOO?
If
#KidNormal
the movie is ever a thing, I'm going to write a hugely expanded role for the school librarian Mrs Fletcher and only
@DarcyCarden
can play the part.
Back in the day people were like "ooh, fascinating. You can either see a vase or two faces." Now in the age of Twitter we're all "it's Laurel!" "No, you're wrong, it's Yanny!" "No, I'm right, you're wrong, it's Laurel..." until we all eventually wipe each other out 😞
#KidNormal
comes to America this summer!
@gregjames
and I are following the Beatles, the Beckhams and The Office to see if we can make it across the pond. Check out the amazing US cover. 🇺🇸❤️🇺🇸❤️
@bloomsburykids
The
#kidnormal
US tour is over. We spoke to over 2,000 kids in 3 states and generally had the best time. Lucky boys. Home time... and maybe more news about Kid Normal soon. Apologies for
#blessed
-style tweet.
Team Normal signing off for 2019. Books have taken me to some amazing places this year... who knows what 2020 may bring🤔. Have a wonderful one and see you on the other side 🎄
Mini
@Podcastard
pod-union in the office. Ant told us a tale about spilling salsa all down himself at his birthday Mexican meal. Happy new year Podcastards everywhere! 🎺 🍆
Then he took the book out of the library and put it in his locker. Then he finished it. Then he started thinking about what to read next. There are no reluctant readers, only potential readers - and there's a gateway book for every single one of them.