Also, my son told us the other day that he thinks he’ll be able to beat me in a fight 5years from now. So I’ve put a reminder in my calendar. On 12th October 2025 I’m going to rock his jaw as soon as he gets up 😂😂😂
Every day when my son gets home he takes all his clothes off apart from his boxers. I thought he just enjoyed being near naked and that it was really cute. Today I found out that he does so that I won’t ask him to go to the shop.
Ovie is the most beautiful man to ever appear on UK reality TV. I still can’t get my head around the fact that the girls didn’t bare knuckle fight over him
Someone in my DM’s asking how much I charge for used underwear and socks on the same week that British Gas tell me that my monthly payments are going from £90 to £210. God, is that you?
As a driver if you see a car in front of you indicating to turn or enter your lane you slow down a bit to let them do so. Cyclists speed up so they can pretend you nearly killed them and post it online. No road etiquette and a lot of entitlement
Boys friendships are so simple man. That’s why they don’t fall out with each other. Their friendships revolve around love of sport, love of music/partying and whoring
I’m really confused, because Caster Semenya, (a woman born a woman) is going through HELL to compete against other women because of her “natural advantages”. But surely a woman who went through puberty as a man, has more advantages?
Weightlifter Laurel Hubbard will become the first transgender athlete to compete at the Olympics after being selected by New Zealand for the women's event at the Tokyo Games.
Why are you lot so shocked that Benzema’s current girl and the mother of his child (with said child) were present to celebrate one of the most important moments of his career?
@XianLoves
Lol I need a cut. He’s got a friend in school that sells burgers at lunchtime, the mum brings them up wrapped in foil and he charges £1. Kids are so smart these days
Some of you are too invested in Love Island. None of the applicants are there to find love, they’re there to find fame. And you’re arguing with strangers online about who picked who and why. Incredible.
Added up my Deliveroo and Uber eats purchases in 2019. LOL
Deliveroo - £1143.11
Ubereats - £511.47
That doesn’t include what my bf bought on his app. I could have paid to go to Jamaica for Christmas with that 😩💔
@KimTRILLY
This happened to me once. I was already in the meeting room working & a group came in & a man said “I’m sorry we have this room booked from 11 so you’ll need to find somewhere else”. He tried to say it’s because I looked young he thought I was a student. Big up mumsy though 👊🏽
Today I deleted Deliveroo, UberEats, JustEat, Easty, ASOS, Nike, Farfetch, and Zara apps from my phone. I joined David Lloyds and signed up to a local running club.
I feel brand new.
Kanye is pretending to fight for all black artists but really he just wants his own masters. Once he’s got them he won’t give a flying fuck about anyone else’s contracts. He’s so transparent
Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to announce pubs, bars and restaurants in England will be forced to close by 10pm from Thursday
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Me on the other hand. Im out here helping my friend wax her asshole a s putting her kids to bed whilst she has her ‘appointment’. It ain’t easy, but I gotsta do what I gotsta do for my Sis.
My Son has gone to work with his Dad today. Last night when his Dad said “have an early night because we have a 6am start” he said “if I’m tired it’s my problem” & stayed up late. Guess who was crying this morning that he didn’t want to go? 😂. Lol welcome to the real world Son
It’s my besties 40th birthday today and her man surprised her with a trip to Dubai. She’s been cussing him in the groupchat all week because she thought he hadn’t booked anything and we’ve all had to join in and cuss him too 😂
I asked my Son where he wants to go for dinner tonight and he said ‘Turtle Bay’. I told him it’s not even real Caribbean food and he said “well I got white in me from your side of the family so maybe that’s why I like it” 😂😂😂 Rude.
I need you to sit with my Son and break this down because he still thinks he can cook 10 King Prawns with a side of fillet steak as a SNACK in this climate
At least 10 times a day I scroll past a tweet that I don’t agree with and call the tweeter a dickhead, IN MY HEAD. Because so don’t need to tell everyone what I think of them, and neither should some of you. Not every day beef on the internet
Some of you guys are really ruining your market. You could have laughed your way into these girls pants with your witty tweets and intelligent threads, but noooooooo. You want to put your ugly face on fleets and relegate yourself to the friendzone. It is well.
It’s my best friends birthday today. She would have been 36. In the lead up to today I realised that I’m no longer grieving g for myself but for her. I’m sad about all the things she missed out on over the last 4 years.
Letting kids be kids - the freedom to play out with friends and explore outside and experience nature. Also keeping adult problems hidden from young ears.
I was in Zoo project (2014) with loads of Londoners from the TL. One of them had a random girl with him & she was fucked. She said she needed to sit down, so I sat on the step & she sat on my knees. Then she said, “babe, I’m so sorry” and pee’d herself on my lap.
I’ve been at an online auction today and the houses are going so far over the guide price.
Guide price: £71,000
Sale price £315,000
What exactly are you guiding, my friend?
I’m in Mexico and I’ve been posting the monkeys and Coati’s that are running around my hotel and this is what my DM’s have looked like all week. Guys I’m 38, I can’t give 2017 content because I’m fucking old 😂. Believe me, it’s not because I don’t want to, I cannae! 😫
I need to take my Son off the front door camera. I got McDonalds breakfast this morning and when I was at the door collecting it I heard a voice say “I see what you’re doing” through the doorbell