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gabbi (toxic version) Profile
gabbi (toxic version)

@its_GOP

Followers
7,248
Following
834
Media
1,204
Statuses
9,640

seltzer evangelist

NYC
Joined December 2010
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
he’s just like me fr
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 months
walking into the office and realizing you’re the only one in from your team
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 months
all the nyc vs sf commentary fails to take into account that people in nyc don’t think about sf like ever
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
Did you just wanna say arbitrage bc you thought it would make you sound smart so you just tossed it in and crossed your fingers
@MrFourToEight
Blake Rocha
1 year
I want to buy a $2 million ranch in Montana. Monthly mortgage, taxes, hired help, upkeep, amenities are $12k I’ll arbitrage 4 homes on Airbnb which will cash flow $12,000 month. I just covered the cost of my ranch with an asset. This is how you need to think 🧠💡
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
the male mind cannot comprehend this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
airlines? you mean plane-themed credit card companies?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
“yeah so it’s a midwest-based 3rd gen family-owned hvac business and what we’re going to do is buy out the family, lever it 8x, and then start buying up a bunch of other small hvac businesses in other markets — that’s called a rollup, right? it’s basically recession proo—”
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
3 months
“do you have bandwidth?”
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
11 months
suits is hilarious bc they show lawyers and bankers all working on laptops and no one has a single external monitor or real keyboard in their office
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
13 days
why are you as a man wearing shorts anywhere but an athletic or water adjacent setting? incredibly unbecoming
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
one must imagine sisyphus as a subway rat
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
17 days
cannot emphasize enough how low probability this scenario is
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
the european mind cannot comprehend this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
I am trying to be less condescending (condescending means talking down to people)
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
why did we stop making ads like this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
we are long overdue for a return to traditional values
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
10 months
this is literally what it’s like to work with the french
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
how to survive on a $150k salary in NYC (time tested) - post tax: you're at $88k - after rent on a studio in fidi: $64k - after taking ubers instead of the subway: $55k (back up to $59k after getting ~half expensed) - after you skip lunch 3x a week and drink iced coffee instead:
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
coming to the conclusion that many of you: 1) do not walk / live in an urban environment 2) do not have a job or understand what it’s like to have an office / desk to leave some of your things at 3) do not value convenience 4) have not found a good pair of shoes
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
you’re laughing? a personal finance columnist put $50,000 cash in a shoebox and gave it to a stranger and you’re laughing?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 month
I’m not the first to say this but you are the age you are until you’re 25 and then you’re 25 until you turn 28 and 28 until you turn 30. after 30 you go up in 5yr increments until you hit 60 and then it’s 10yr increments. no one is 29 and no one is 32, that would be ridiculous.
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
men only want one thing
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
9 months
one of my fave nba facts is that the heat have their g league team in sioux falls, south dakota to keep the g league guys from partying in south beach
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
“you’re the type of girl they write books about” the book:
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
how it feels to drop the phrase “whole enchilada” in a meeting
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
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@buffys
5 months
a duo that stood on business?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
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@spectatorindex
The Spectator Index
4 months
BREAKING: Jordan says it is ready to shoot down any drones that violate its airspace
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
I am so over student loan discourse like I’m sorry you weren’t smart enough for a scholarship please stop talking
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
why are you, as a 22 year old, worried about work life balance?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@AlbertoAlcal8 the last one
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
8 months
cornelius vanderbilt in the 1850s
@Amtrak
Amtrak
8 months
2024 goal: even more trains
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
private credit? my guy you’re a loan shark
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
if you’re still using vlookup and not xlookup or index match you should just stop using a computer altogether
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
Guys keep asking how they get a girlfriend. I tell them it’s simple — via a mixture of debt and equity* *debt = amex platinum, equity = your soul
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
hottest thing a man can do is be slightly afraid of me
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
emergency alert 40 min after earthquake is very much like taking yourself off mute at the end of a zoom to say thanks
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
9 months
she taught him how to tell his right from left by making L’s with his hands
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
we don’t talk enough about the memo bush senior sent out to tell everyone to stop giving treats to his obese spaniel
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@fetacheesepls yes and extremely walkable
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
having hobbies / work life balance in your 20s should not be a thing (working out doesn’t count as a hobby) my hobbies are 1) work 2) reading about things mostly related to work 3) drinking 4) my dog and 5) quarterly botox wdym you have a pottery class every weds??
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
why do you as a man even know this many brands exist
@rfkenmore
R.F. Kenmore
5 months
v2
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
my brother in christ, you don’t have to do this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
24 days
the bloomberg terminal
@m2jr
Mike Maples, Jr
26 days
What product has the most beautiful UI you’ve ever seen?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
3 months
hey boss can you pass the aux
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
9 months
today was such a perfect day in manhattan for rotting in bed like almost on a cosmic level
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
finding out the nuggets mascot is getting paid $625k a year has ruined my week
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
murray hill is like a halfway house between college and real life
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
10 months
was it a sustained high rate environment?
@nypost
New York Post
10 months
Bombshell new theory reveals what may have really killed the dinosaurs
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
mba associate headed to dinner leaving you with a ref’d out model and a pitchbook filled with colors and fonts that aren’t in the brand template
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 years
I don’t want to BeReal I want to Be a Drexel Burnham Lambert VP in 1985
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
before this goes any further let’s all just remember that we have two men furiously writing poems about each other
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
how it feels to move assets to an unrestricted subsidiary
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
fish in the chicago river this morning like
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 month
hinge profile of the average west village guy: — boat pic with five of his absolute boys (they all look identical and are wearing sunglasses but are of varying heights) — tells you he works in finance (he means ops) — grew up on long island (you will never hear the end of it)
@middlemarketmac
Middle Market Mac
1 month
Hinge profile of the average girl living in West Village: -sunset pic in Positano wearing a sundress and Cartier bracelet -works in marketing -grew up in an insanely wealthy CT suburb -first prompt:
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
you don’t see anyone popping off like this anymore
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
5 months
99.9999% of the time if someone has a flag in their bio you’re dealing with a lunatic does not matter which flag
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@cleonightxxx like I said…cannot be comprehended. the fact people think they are breaking after a month is stupidity on an unmatched scale
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
I am really glad I got all my activism out of my system with my 4 week fascination with kony 2012 in high school
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
extremely unbecoming to itemize a bill in a restaurant — everyone needs to just act like an adult and throw their card down for an equal portion plus it’s beyond inconsiderate to the staff!! learn some decorum
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
11 months
I’ll never forget my first year when one of the other analysts on my desk loudly proclaimed she had “just learned what a balance sheet was” that girl went on to become a single name credit research analyst and is now getting her MBA
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
22 days
once I withdraw cash from the atm, I treat that money as gone. it’s out of the budget, it’s monopoly money, I will not be using it for anything productive or accretive
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
for everyone being purposefully obtuse…the shoes purchased in earlier years are now coming to the end of their useful life. I keep two pairs at the office and two or three at home usually. the shoes purchased one-off were for emergencies (I was traveling and realized I forgot
@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@ddiiggss @fetacheesepls I generally keep 3 or 4 pairs on hand and rotate them each day so they’re all broken in the same
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 years
Children are the product of a low interest rate environment
@ParikPatelCFA
Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA Esq.
2 years
If you run the discounted cash flow model on a baby you will realize that having children is a bad financial decision
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
logan roy and cousin greg
@congdonsation
Johnny Congdon
7 months
Nick Saban departs from the Mal Moore Athletic Facility. @abc3340
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
I once went on a date with a guy who complained that the cacio e pepe was too spicy for him and looked at me like I was supposed to somehow fix that for him
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
the y axis can be anything you want it to be if you just believe
@buccocapital
BuccoCapital Bloke
4 months
this is my quant
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
whenever I start to get annoyed with my father I remind myself that this is a man who for two years drove 6 hours twice a week and lived in a holiday inn express to avoid moving his family to ohio and if that’s not indicative of love idk what is
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
libor was so based rip
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
8 months
be the systemic risk you want to see in the world
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
not getting a return offer from an internship is an interesting definition of quitting but ok
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
part of growing up is realizing you don’t want to be a socialist, you want to be a capitalist with tax breaks
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
with college football fast approaching, a quick reminder of schools that are definitely cults: 1. texas a&m 2. notre dame 3. penn state 4. michigan 5. ohio state 6. clemson (up & coming cult; awful color scheme requires indoctrination) who am I missing?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
could y’all focus on maintaining profitability instead of whatever this is
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
me at work every day of my career
@oldfriend99
josh (oldfriend99)
3 years
Playing around in calculator app. Some of these numbers are huge
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
11 months
instantly become highly in demand as every wedding guest asks you where their cocktail is
@shah_ddd
shahd
11 months
an outfit all men look hot in
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 years
private equity sponsor bf, disqualified lender list gf
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
why are you, as a man, carrying a backpack?
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 month
if this generation can’t be straightforwardly asked to complete tasks, we are so beyond cooked
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
missing option for “drinks at house parties” pls fix
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
the board of directors (the gc) has decided to go in a different strategic direction (I will not be texting you back)
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
11 months
christopher columbus did not discover america for me to have to go to the office tomorrow
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
hinge will give you an alert for your “most compatible” potential matches and then show you a literal goblin with no job
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
sick of seeing all this “meanest girl from your high school is a nurse now” commentary like first off I’m in finance
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
4 months
hey real quick before you set yourself on fire have you considered doing literally anything else
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
actually can’t imagine anything worse than working fully remote hunched over a laptop
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@ddiiggss @fetacheesepls I wear these basically every day to work and out around the city bc they are super comfy and go with everything, I like to keep a couple pairs in the office in case I wear diff shoes and want to change for a last minute meeting, walking around manhattan does a number on shoes,
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
when the bartender is dressed like he dabbles in sleight of hand magic, you know the martini is about to cost $28 minimum
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
10 months
in fourth grade I came home asking to start clarinet lessons with my friend and my father said “I’m not raising squidward” and that was the end of that
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
“so tell me about yourself” me:
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
23 days
summer in full swing folks
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
we lost her last night🥺 we were lucky to have almost 15 wonderful years with her and her last meal was indeed hand-fed boiled chicken and white rice🤍
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
7 months
this is what we feed to my elderly dog
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
hunter might be the closest we’ll ever get to a real life kendall Roy
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
2 years
amend and extend gf, loan to own bf
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
“can you just give a brief overview of the company?”
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
imagine if there were diet coke flavored zyns is anyone working on this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
does anyone actually like matcha or is it performative
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
6 months
the european mind cannot comprehend this
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@its_GOP
gabbi (toxic version)
1 year
@rennyzucker I am sorry no one will pay for your drinks better luck next time
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