Lawrie ✨
@indextwo
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Following
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Media
1,851
Statuses
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Opinions expressed are not my own and are exclusively the views of my employer. he/him.
The Moon.
Joined June 2009
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Pinned Tweet
I’ve launched another escape room adventure game! Play online, or grab a game as a last minute gift 🎁
Here’s here’s Archie to tell you all about it 👀
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@ErinPrivratsky
I worked at TABLE Boston serving their $125 meatloaf & hash browns and one time a man walked past with a dog and the dog barked and Jen Royle rushed outside and started screaming at the dog “FAKE BARKS! THAT NEVER HAPPENED! GO DO SOME YOGA, FAKE DOG!”
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@jbensnyder
@glozow
@triketora
I remember this when it first popped up and it’s still my favourite explanation.
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@dntmakeitworse
@ZREllor
Two things:
1) “women authors were unheard of”? Really? The Brontës? Mary Shelley? Agatha Christie? Maya Angelou? Virginia Woolf? Harper Lee?
2) ‘trans issues aside’ isn’t a reasonable position in light of what she’s saying. HOW can they be brushed aside? They’re a PROBLEM.
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@arthcmr
@iamharaldur
‘Show me Tim Apple as a member of the Rainbow Six team. Make him look kinda mad that he’s missing his soup at home’
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@B25Owl
@tokencarnie
@ClaryJessica
@reidsintern
ape PFP here to stick up for the landlords who are traditionally very oppressed people 🫡
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@Michaelareid03
@CharlTaylorPage
@LilyPinkBaker
I came here to say this. And he got it at Harvard! He probably has some idea about The Politics.
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@jarrettsleeper
…and here’s Waffle with Muffin, somehow simultaneously being the derpiest pair you ever saw.
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@pulleroflegs
@rjmartinITFC
@ianjgreen
@mshafiquk
I. I. Me. Mine. “I don’t see it as a problem, because as long as I’m not at risk or anyone I personally know, it’s not a problem.”
It’s really, really difficult to convey just how far you need to shove that opinion up inside your own bowels.
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@ElyKreimendahl
“My favourite time” implies the existence of, at the very least, a top 3 ruined Thanksgivings and we are HERE FOR IT
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@MLE_Online
My favourite feature is googling something, and none of the top results contain the words you’re looking for; so you put the important term in quotes to say THIS IS WHAT I ABSOLUTELY WANT and Google goes “ah! But that about ✨these✨ instead?” 🥴
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@javajoint
@jesslynnrose
@alicetragedy
*Backend CSS & strong knowledge of front-end PHP stack desired.
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@DaveMeles
@4everContrarian
@jbensnyder
@glozow
@triketora
that’s why china have a million sudoku cars to make all that sweet Internet heroin money
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As a full-stack web developer who has worked with some of the largest companies in the world, dealing with real-life scale surges & DDoS attacks, let me tell you definitively what is happening here; a brief 🧵: 1/
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@MuellerSheWrote
@ask_aubry
It’s one for each of the planets, obviously. This information is out of date now - since Pluto was downgraded to a dwarf planet in 2006, you only get 8 menstruations a year and one tummy ache that goes away after a big burp.
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@LouisatheLast
This young gentleman wore not just tank tops with the shirt buttoned all the way up, but was once INSISTENT on wearing it with a tie OUTSIDE of the tank top “so everyone can see it”
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@TheClarityPot
Why a screenshot of a live tweet? And as an image with no alt text? Just share the original 🤷🏼♀️
🇳🇱 Meanwhile in the Netherlands people have just started their own biological food coop bypassing the supermarkets and buying directly from the farms. 🔥
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@TheDavidDrake
I’d just started dating a girl and as we were walking home she invited me to her place for coffee and I said “oh no thanks I don’t drink coffee” 💀
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@TatianaTMac
This might seem super-specific, but: I went to a drum clinic with Chad Smith of RHCP. He grew up poor and his dad stole empty tubs from Baskin-Robbins so he could play on them. Now he’s famous, he gets free drum kits. He doesn’t need them NOW. He needed them *then*.
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@BethanMcConnell
@fesshole
This was my immediate reaction too. “Ah! Look at you! Empowering yourself and your sexuality! We ALL KNOW!” 🥴
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@rpersohn
@JoJoFromJerz
…because he paid $850k in a court settlement. Rather than, for example, syphoning money through his lawyer for a cash payment and then later reimbursing himself from campaign funds. One is literally a court proceeding and the other is proceeding to court.
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@HeroDoodlebug
@Esqueer_
Always the blue-checks just gagging to be blocked. Literally *squealing* for it.
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Ah, North America! Leaning in for some more segregation I see! *clown-car noises*
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@Lalalascivious1
@toomanycommas3
You’re going to have to guess at the number, but: RayBans make it work 😅
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2020 was last year.
2012 was last year.
2010 was a couple of years ago.
2005 was about 5 years ago.
2000 was maybe 5-6 years ago.
1990 was ten years ago.
1980 was 20 years ago.
these are FACTS do not CORRECT ME positive feedback ONLY
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@David_desJ
@paulnovosad
@lastpositivist
Have you bought the book, read the entire book, and then checked the sources & bibliography? Because otherwise it seems like you’re both-sidesing this to humanise a man trying to blackmail a woman into ‘knowing her place’ 🤔
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I made a handy comparison chart for the new Department for Education.
#reshuffle
#DofE
#education
http://t.co/9rguYxgCxQ
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@GrahamB47
Friends keeping that mf at arm’s length for a lot of reasons and none of them are his ✨magic sobriety✨
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@cassiecodes
jfc. That is horrific. Here’s another vote for that reality TV show where dudes like this have to read their messages out loud in front of their mothers.
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Last weekend I attended an awesome
#SVG
#animation
course run by the spectacular
@cassiecodes
. It took me almost 3 full days, but I did a thing! (Fair warning: it doesn’t look GREAT on mobile - iOS Safari screws up a WHOLE LOT of stuff, but 🙃)
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@ellie_html
Pricing is a super tricky one. I’ve been doing this for *cough* some years, and it can still bite you. Mostly it comes down to confidence in your own skillset first & foremost, BUT:
@tom_hirst
wrote a *great* article on exactly this point:
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Spied the cat out of the corner of my eye; started to say hi; realised it was my shoes. Quickly ad-libbed: "hi, shoes". Totally saved it.
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Here is a picture of Romaric Philogène. And also a picture of Barbra Streisand’s house.
I publicly apologise to Romaric Philogène and Qovery for assuming that a formal event they hosted would not support diversity efforts in tech.
I am also sorry that they felt insulted by a subtweet that was addressed at people in general not making an effort to support diversity.
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@jesslynnrose
@thecurlycoder
...I’ve been running my own web dev company for 19 years now. I am doing pretty well. I have a cat.
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@KyameronTV
@ellielovesdilfs
Yes you are correct no pilot or doctor or lawyer should ever have a sense of humour or ever do anything on social media that betrays the fact that they are anything but automatons for their jobs.
Your brain must be smoother than a bowling ball in olive oil.
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@jesslynnrose
@lordtweek
@thecurlycoder
That picture is old. He has progressed further towards his final form of potato.
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@___veronicacary
@piccalilli_
<div class=“behave-as-input” data-type=“textarea” contenteditable=“true”>lol</div>
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Totally forgot it was
#PancakeDay
, then made some absolutely *horrible* ‘protein pancakes’ for breakfast 😖
...but then I managed to knock out this
#animation
in 90 minutes before lunch 😅🥞
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I decided to take a look and holy shit her site is terrible. like so bad I'm surprised she hasn't tried to mint it as an nft.
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@AriNobleWrites
Weirdly enough, just this morning I watched season 7 episode 11 of
#StarTrek
TNG ‘Parallels’, and this was pretty much the entire plot & point: every choice made by the characters impacts the universe they exist in, all centred around how Worf experiences it.
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@jensimmons
I can’t believe no one has said this yet, but the first thing that came to mind was: parent selectors 😳
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@MuellerSheWrote
Weirdly I’d seen the video of Biden drinking from that mug but not his actual tweet. A CUP OF JOE 😂
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@jessicahische
This actually happened:
*Client sends screenshots of competitor site with MS Paint squiggles & annotations all over them*
Me: Great, thanks. I’ll work up initial designs for you next week.
Client: What design? You don’t need to do design. I sent you those files.
🤷🏼♀️
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Another lil Sunday
#GSAP
#animation
, and I'm pretty proud of this one: an interactive isometric keyboard 🤩 - and it even works on mobile (pretty much)!
(Note you might have to click/tap it first 😬)
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@gianluca_string
Honestly thought the exact same thing as soon as I saw his tweet. But on the flip side he’s going to need that extra retail space for all the ‘Verified/Blue/Official/Legit Verified/$16 Most Verified/Super Special Grimes Heart Plz Come Back’ badges
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@Blipdriver
@Kathy_Darling
@radtoria
That is, saldily, not the case. I just wumped there and knocked them all out like an unmerning stream of blerps. It just comes to me digontally and I can’t help it 😕
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@cstephens2
@dntmakeitworse
@ZREllor
The first thing my mind sprang to in the moment was ‘Genocide aside, Hitler was a vegetarian & nice to his dogs’, but invoking Godwin’s Law kind of kills the point. Manson was a better choice.
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you simply would not believe me if I told you what was on the cover of our local parish magazine
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@innesmck
Honestly, some therapists should be absolutely nowhere near people. (Told mine I realised was on the verge of depression because I *could not* console a friend about her messy divorce: “ah, because you’re in love with her? It’s just a phase. You’re cured!” - first session 🥴)
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@KimRennie9
@Ciarrai20
@2020shityear
@BBCNews
‘This is just ine view’ implies this is an opinion. It wasn’t a fucking OPINION that she died of COVID. jfc. The destruction of people’s ACTUAL LIVES is infinitely more important than making sure Alan Sugar gets his office rent. Get in the sea.
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@nicharry
@dieworkwear
This guy is just aggressively texting anyone who ever invited him to anything “WHY DON’T YOU REMEMBER MY SHOOOOOOES? 😭”
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This is kind of mind-blowing: a bunch of grifters figured out how to run the Winter Wonderland scam the rest of the year as a ‘Willy Wonka’ experience. I googled the company (House of Illuminati) and their whole site is AI garbage. Then I found the site for the actual event… 🧵
Police were called to an 'immersive event' inspired by Willy Wonka in Glasgow after furious parents complained about the quality of the event.
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Researching American ‘badgers’ versus actual real badgers and I would like to respectfully ask what in the fuck
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@MuellerSheWrote
Assuming everyone who voted yes will get suspended. So I smacked that ‘yes’ SO HARD
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@DatLe
@notreallyjcm
Calling 911 for a non-emergency is not only not ‘right’, it may result in felony charges. And you’d think, being a lawyer, they’d have known this. But I guess being a reactionary terf overrode those logic circuits 🤷🏻♀️
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@DanielleStasko
A while ago a friend gave me a *great* answer for this:
“Because it makes me feel good about myself.”
It’s not defensive, it has no negative connotations, and it brooks no further questions.
😎
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@Kathy_Darling
@DEADLINE
RIGHT? They can get James Woods on board as captain of the ragtag crew of poor misunderstood white people, roaming the galaxy in search of things they don’t want to understand that make them angry for reasons they can’t articulate.
Atlas Shrugged 2: Go Home Atlas, You’re Drunk.
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@PranavMatraaPPS
@historyinmemes
It’s actually kind of impressive just how wildly you missed the point of… absolutely everything. Just, all of this. Honestly, kudos. Absolutely staggering.
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Whoever writes in their recipes ‘1 heaped tsp’ has absolutely no clue about just how high I can heap a tsp
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In the course of my work, I once had complete admin control of Nirvana's official Facebook page. I cannot possibly convey the sheer strength of will it took for me to not *immediately* post "hey guys kurt here not really dead lol" 💀
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@StevieDougie
@david_r_morgan
@bknuth96
“AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED AND THE POLICE GAVE ME A MEDAL I AM NOW HONORARY MASK POLICE BOY”
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@dntmakeitworse
@ZREllor
The first HP book was published in 1997. Although, yes, a lot of *classical* women authors did publish anonymously or pseudonymously, JK Rowling didn’t magically make women visible in publishing 3 years before the millennium.
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Just rewatched Encanto and I can’t believe I didn’t notice before, but in the song ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ they do, in fact, talk about Bruno almost constantly. Absolute gaffe. Totally destroyed the credibility for me. Zero stars.
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@Cliicknick
@DrRosena
@johnsweeneyroar
Only if you do the exact same thing within the same deadline since, just like Dr. Allin-Khan, you are ALSO not a person who is immediately expected to lead the country at this very moment. Unlike Johnson, who IS, with all the aptitude of a wet cake.
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@lordtweek
@jesslynnrose
@thecurlycoder
It’s a perfectly piratey name. Short for Muffin the Malodorous, Pirate Lord of Chonk.
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@Figensport
@vespa2222
Are you… shaming people for getting old? Because a lot of these ‘older’ photos are definitely framed to make people look their worst and the ‘younger’ pictures are mostly glamour shots. So I’m just wondering why you thought this would be cool.
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@Giancarlo_Volpe
I never saw (your) Avatar when it was first on TV, but I’ve been powering through the series on Netflix - currently on season 3 episode 13 and honestly this show is so, *so* good on so many levels. Bravo.
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@sterlingcrispin
@davidoreilly
It’s weird to me that so many are saying that it’s actually *taught* as a ‘consciousness’ thing. I don’t know dick about science, but I figured (incorrectly?) it’s the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: measuring the thing messes with it because of how you do it (i.e. photons)...?
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@evenstar6q
@kobldexe
@kittynouveau
The effort though. The sheer effort and the absolutely derailed thought process that went into “She’s going to appreciate the annotated take-away points in this *and* the bonus free USB.”
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@karriehiggins
@NorbertElekes
I started reading this and was like oh wow that’s great! and then I got to ‘for companies’ and now it’s 100% 😐
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@AmandaSmithSays
@clapifyoulikeme
I will never stop telling people that alcohol is LITERAL POISON. Like, ingest as much of it as you want, but I mean… 🤷🏼♀️
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remember when everyone thought 2016 was the worst year. lol. lmao. you sweet summer children.
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@TheTiniestMeep
Did you swab ALLLLL the areas? I’ve seen a few studies where they say that just-nasal or just-throat isn’t as effective, so I do throat, cheeks, roof of mouth and nasal to be sure.
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If you’re curious what this pretty kitty sounds like:
I thought I heard him meowing earlier.
It was a crow.
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