daddylonglegs
@huanirra
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So I recently spent the night at a nigga's house and he offered me a shower cap and a bonnet for my hair. My initial thought was “Aww how sweet...” and now that I'm reeally thinking about it......
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The mini-pan inside the big skillet is making me so happy😂😂😂
Coleslaw, Caramelised Onions, Beef & Pork Burger
80% beef and 20% fat ratio is the restaurant secret to juicy burgers. You can use readily minced meat but ensure your burgers are cooked well done.
The bun is crucial, I love mine soft & sweet &
#DPLFestive
buns have you sorted!
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Let's do Good pr for natural hair today. Please quote me with a pretty picture of your natural hair 🤭
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“I'm **** from **** and this is my art...”>>>>> “The writer // The writing...”>>>>>>>🥹 Creatives adorning my timeline fr🥹💗 might just pull out something from my folder🥹
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Same same. Every Sunday and physically too.
If it was possible to go to church just for the praise and worship then leave then I’d be doing it.
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He also had me sit down and explain my entire cycle to him using my app.... y'all....
So I recently spent the night at a nigga's house and he offered me a shower cap and a bonnet for my hair. My initial thought was “Aww how sweet...” and now that I'm reeally thinking about it......
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I have realized (to my great surprise) that I really really enjoy planning things 😂 especially dates and birthdays 😂 Manifesting endless money and a partner who loves activities🤞🏾
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I've finally permanently cut contact with one of my exes. I'm actually so proud of myself.
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Miss passenger princess at the back😭😭
Check on ya people. Red and yellow Hellcat flipped on 7th Ave by Snappers!!
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I'm tall.
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It's raining and I'm in bed juu niko OFF on a MONDAY love it here!!😍
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Once I reduced my sugar intake basically all manufactured juices and soft drinks had to go... Now I just drink water and tea like an elderly woman🧍🏾♀️
Once you stop taking sugar somehow everything you used to take normally tastes like it has too much of it, why am I diluting delmonte mango with water??🧍🏾♀️
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I adore his voice🩷
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I'm probably going to post every graduate I know tomorrow on my status because I'm genuinely as excited for everyone else as I am for myself😂😂😂
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Najua ni Monday but mark my words weekendi ijayo niko nje expeditiously. I deserve it.
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Last night was AMAZING OMG😭😭 Also it was further proof that all my friends are fun and attractive and hilarious ata wenye hawajuani I love it here!❤️
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Pulled a corporate baddie in a corporate fit we give thanks🤲🏾 Shida tu ni he sounded steadfast in the faith na vile mimi ni mtenda dhambi.
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The day I get a job and I'm finally able to move out ata kama ni kwa bedsitter ikona matress pekee I'll actually happy-ugly cry.
Doesn't involve anyone, but I just moved out man. I'm happy for myself🦍. Pray for me lakini😭. Send house warming gifts 😘
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‘Bumpy Ride’ kwa mat jameni😔 si nitasimama nidance😭 manifesting a mix like dis kwenye klabu leo😭
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You can be a lot of things with me but being misogynistic is not one of them. It's not even a mentality I enjoy arguing against I just quietly hope that you don't sire any children and it dies with you.
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Whatever happens in those offices tomorrow morning will determine my mental and emotional state for the entire week. Niombeeni.
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My baby sister last night.. *smells her own hoodie* “omg inanukia (sijui Warren or some shit)”
Me: Mbona?
Her: Alikuwa amenishikia.
🧍🏽♀️
When I catch that boy🧍🏽♀️
My baby sister is outside taking a call walking circles around the backyard I’m going to have to kill him 😭
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“Your generation got the terrible idea that it was best to vomit every thought and feeling all over each other. It's a pandemic of over-communication that's led to an absence of intimacy.” -Georgina Hobart, The Politician.
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Strathmore niggas nao wanakuanga interesting... Unakutana na mtu, mnapanga kwenda kuona movie so you can get to know each other, kidogo kidogo anapigiwa simu na “❤️Baby💍” anafinya power button. Eh.
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Good morning to me, y'all and the consequences of my drunken actions.
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So you see all the shit I be saying about the F&F franchise?? Yeah I take it all back I've seen the Fast X trailer and I am going to the premiere.
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Hio game nimepiga kelele hadi nimekalishwa chini na mzazi nikaambiwa I'm “bowing down to the gods and idols of football” na I need to “re-evaluate my priorities and value system”. I want to forget it and watch it again🔥🔥🔥
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@manlikesaiya
Last night I had to pass an iron over my sheets (while on the bed) because they were so cold they almost felt wet. Ni kugumu.
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Life when Seth Gor had them long ass out-of-pocket and hilarious captions on his ig posts>>>>
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Just showing off that we're related nothing much... Congratulations Baby❤️ I'm so very proud of you❤️ You deserve all of it❤️
After five years of me and that CBD based Uni trying to see who will take who out first, I am finally done 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾.......Your girl is graduating with Honours 🥺🥺🥺. I am so grateful and excited!!!!!
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*introduces myself as Juanita*
*after repeating myself severally*
“so naezakuita kwangu?”
“na hio ingine?” always followed by “ei kwani we ni mnini?”
“Si Anita?”
I could go on and on...
*introduces myself as nicole*
"so utanicall lini?"
"nicoro"
"is your brother called nicholas?"
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@Seveyapain
Why oh why didn't they use Princess Fumblebutt?? Because I would rejoice at the opportunity...
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Me during extended family functions🧍🏾♀️
I hate being asked why I'm not talking. I literally just don't have anything to say pls leave me alone 😭
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Omg naenda kutembelea mwenzangu kumbe wanahost bible study kwao leo 😂 So not only do I have to be around other people but I also have to sit there and pretend my staunch traumatic hallelujah-drum-beating Christian background hasn't led me to damn near atheist opinions 😂
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In every aspect, this is exactly where I'm at right now.
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Wamesema flee from sexual sin na nimeona niwapitishie enyi mamalaya.
Omg naenda kutembelea mwenzangu kumbe wanahost bible study kwao leo 😂 So not only do I have to be around other people but I also have to sit there and pretend my staunch traumatic hallelujah-drum-beating Christian background hasn't led me to damn near atheist opinions 😂
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Steve married the woman he cheated on his ex-wife with, who has now cheated on him... Lmao circle of life love to see it fr 😂😂😂😂😂
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*Pathetically* being the key word smh...
No one’s pathetically yearned over someone as hard as I have
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Sukuma wiki na chapo> Sukuma wiki na mchele> Sukuma wiki na spaghetti> Sukuma wiki the baddest>>>>
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The wonderful story of Henry Sugar is such a lovely watch🥹 It's reminded me of how much I miss going to theaters to watch actual plays.
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Apparently I'm really pretty with my hair out (I already knew this)
Anyway ni leo tu wacha nitaftane na salonist turudishe braids.
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Real😭
My WhatsApp is so dry because we could literally send each other like 3 texts and you will end up on my “frequently contacted”😭
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REAL.
every week i’m like “Maybe i’ll make an instagram post today” and then four more months go by
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Anyway nilikuwa nasema nimeona size yangu huko engineering wacha niende nijifanye sijui tap ya samples ni gani (attachment rizz)
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I cannot wait to be financially comfortable.
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But kusema ukweli I am my own opp fr. Every weapon formed against me, is me.
Ei.
Wow.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Btw you... no.. no aki😂😂 Ffs each of them is like 2hrs+ long.😐 Ma'am.😐 HOW😑
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😂😂😂😂 The same thing happened to me today only she called me first to tell me she sent it by mistake na nisimuitishe pesa next week yote😂😂😭😭
Being a first born is worth less than a bowl of kamande Esau had the right idea🤝🏾👍🏾
Haha being a last born is good 😅
My mom just sent me a significant amount and I called her to ask heh what's up 😅
"You need it more than I do for now. Enjoy your weekend"
☺️😍
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I just need to kiss someone who's as good at kissing as that young man is so I can move on with my life. That's all aki.
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For some reason I'm really attracted to cocky nerds. Yk the skinny ones often with glasses very large vocabularies who think they're the smartest people in every room they walk in. Them lactose-intolerant niggas with 17 allergies. Sielewi why.
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PMS symptoms while I'm fighting horrible cramps is not how I would've liked this morning to start. Let me have aka-small weeping session alafu niamke nipambane na the day.
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@ft_makena
@dzzecai
I beg to differ 😂 most guys I've I know have quality time as a love language. What most guys do is use physical touch as sexual advance and/or in some way related to sex, not as a way of connecting with or showing love to someone they care about.
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Avocado on toast baddie 4L🤟🏽
If you like putting avocado on bread you should be in hospital bc you're sick.
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I'm actually a ridiculous person😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Today has actually affirmed that for me😂😂😂😂😂😂 acha nifikirie kwenda nsk I dance out this pain in my chest whew😂😂😂😂
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😭😭😭
Mr Beast gifts very different things in his channel and the fact that Africa got water…….
We’re never beating the allegations 💀
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Singing
Creative writing
Piano is more of a skill but I'll just throw it in there...
Dancing is a maybe 😂
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