Ad meliora. π«
@Limorio_
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Real lovers we are being targeted. π.
A man in Gulu arrested for attempting to sit for his girlfriendβs examsπ
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Me tomorrow when I realize I boarded a plane going to India yet my friends and I had agreed to go to Indiana.
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Or else what?
Kenyans have 12 days to register for new medical scheme, or else.
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βOccupy National park inaweza kuwa a very interesting activity.β
Occupy National park inaweza kuwa a very interesting activity.
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"All those Spotify wrapped posts but I wanna be wrapped in your arms"
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How stable is the plane?.
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Joho listening to mining experts talking about Diamond deposits before saying βBtw ile ngoma yake ya Lala Salama ilikuwa hatari mwananguβ
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α΅Λ’Λ’.
Kenyans DO NOT like my ass lmao.
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βHuyo Vybz Kartel waachalie yeye tu bora asikuje kugusa murimaβ
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βThis is my territory, usijaribu kuuza huku mwanangu utakuwa umenizinguaβ
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Electric chair for the architect.
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After CSs next is PSs. .
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Sending my woman 1480 then 20 bob nabuy minutes za kumwuliza kama amepata. π«ΆπΎ.
Ukiwa na 1500/= what do you budget for?.
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8 eggs x 15 = 120.27 ndunyas x 5 = 135.5 oranges x 10 = 50.Half watermelon = 200.Chai flask = 250. Total = 755. Grow up man ππ€¦πΏββοΈ.
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Iβve watched this clip several times and I have decided to surrender my man card at the front desk, guys are fearless out here. Nothing but respect βπΏ
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Uzuri Elon is shameless, government ikisumbua story ya Starlink atakuja kuandika thread huku akisema vile hii nchi ni corrupt and the outgoing president hapendi aibu internationally.
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Using religion as a social control tool for the Gen Zs:
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What criteria will KRA use to determine whether money received in your MPESA is income? The whole idea is skewed.
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βNingekuwa na ule mwingine sahi sherehe ingekuwa imeshikaβ
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Ababu Namwamba trying to go for Olympics with his queens.
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The woman saw it in her dreams and it even directed her to the exact place where her sister was dumped alongside other bodies? Wtf is this?!!?!!?.
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Watoke, tungetaka kutembea zig zag kwa streets tungekuwa nyoka.
Iyo story ya hawkers kutolewa CBD nyinyi mnaiona aje?.
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Eldoret will never grow because the leaders treat it like a menjo, kitu kidogo inafanyika wakale wamewekwa kwa pikipiki waende town kuimba and cause panic among other communities yet it is a metropolitan. Ffs!.
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Did anyone notice how looking for dustbins in the CBD is almost like a quest? For a country that is loud on climate change, it is very ironical.
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If I send you this image just know I will not leave any stone unturned.
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If you asked me yesterday I wouldnβt have predicted that guys in Eldoret would turn out in large numbers like this. Remember, this is just the beginning. #RejectFinanceBill2024
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I think Mic Cheque Podcast are the only guys that have interviewed Stivo Simple Boy well without making it look like they are making fun of him.
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Kura yako ni siri yako lakini yangu ni ya Okiya Omtatah. βπΏ
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He has now been moved to the Ministry of Environment, please congratulate him.
MoD extends congratulations to @HonAdenDuale on his re-appointment as Kenya's Cabinet Secretary for Defense. @kdfinfo is a valued partner in our joint fight against terrorism. We look forward to strengthening the longstanding ties between our two nations.
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Matonya akisema βNasukuma sukuma, ili siku ziendeβ mlikuwa mnadance mkidhani ni jokes
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Zishage then umix na molasses na upeleke your former bosses, cows love it.
Mumelima? Experts please school me; what do I do with masakari?
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Daily naomba nipate patience ya wale wasee humaliza kupika then wanaenda kufanya something else kama kuoga kwanza before wadishi, mimi nikishazima gas hakuna foreplay, mchuano direct.
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Zangu zimenice ama hii ni uso?.
Only @Honeyfarsafi has the passion to change the face of Nairobi. How do you imagine Nairobi in 10yrs?
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Usiwahi think siku ingine juu haisaidii.
I think IDs should have an expiry date, what shouldn't be there is a high renewal fee.It should be affordable.
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πππ
BREAKING: Trump campaign office in Virginia has been broken into.
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Juzi mheshimiwa akiitana kumanina ulikuwa unadara pages za bible?.
Using vulgar language and showing total disrespect to others is uncalled for, in as much as we must hold our leaders accountable. Pass your message across in a mature, respectable manner. Adding insults dilutes the purpose.
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Kama hii kuimba kidogo imekasirisha watu hivi, imagine heaven kuko hivyo 24/7.
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The likes of Joho and Oparanya wakipewa CS we have to shut everything down, TF?!?!.
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You donβt speak for us.
On behalf of the people and government of the Republic of Kenya, I wish to add my voice to those condemning the recent attempted assassination of former U.S. President Donald J. Trump. I extend my deepest sympathies to President Trump, his family, and the families of the victims.
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You can do everything through Christ except kunibeba ufala.
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Worst pullout game ever wallahi, no wonder he has kids everywhere.
Breaking: . President William Ruto has declined to sign the Finance Bill, 2024. The Bill to be sent back to Parliament before they break for recess today.
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To the recording studio
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Supermarkets kila weekend kazi ni kusumbua na discounts za pombe, how about discounts za deodrants na lotion Kimani?
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Classrooms zinakaa hivi lakini priority ni kuweka cabros? Sigh
Mbiri Primary School is taking shape. We have 25 such projects ongoing in Kiharu this August Holiday in various Primary Schools. Landscapping and fixing of Cabros. We are African and Africa is our Business.
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Ukianza kusmile while texting wewe jua tu sasa umekuwa mtu bladifakin.
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Ata Mariah Carey hapendi rnb hivi πππ.
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Ladies, if I send you this image jua nimejichagua niwe wako.
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Jamani nisikilizeni, mnisikilizeni πΆ.
Lost 10kgs in a week. Wueh.
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Msisahau Lunchbox Kenyatta Avenue had some of its employees outside the premises and they were chasing people away wasikaribie hiyo square yao time wanahepa mapolisi.
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βHow did I do it?β
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Yani Ruto anafanya hadi tunaskiza space kwa Mercedes, he will crumble wallahi.
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Without even opening her profile I just know she is not in Kenya, no one living in this country can do this willingly.
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βHeri wewe unalipa 3 million pekee, unajua ule Saddam mwingine alinyongwa?β
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*James wa Bondo.
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"Yaani nakuomba gari unanipea ndege surely? ingia WhatsApp kidogo mkubwa"
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Naona phone ya kuorder food from Los Pollos Hermanos hapo kwa meza. π.
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"Says" because you never focus on such stories, kazi ni ku report when some random man from Bungoma finishes 2kgs of ugali.
American YouTuber MrBeast says he drilled 52 boreholes in Kenya, built bridges
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Jalangβo has voted No, the pressure increase or decrease? π.
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This is where the Cabinet Secretary for Mining comes in.
Coffee is no longer cutting it. imma need to start taking something stronger to stay awake.
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Using government resources to go after plates and sandals when the people who loot billions are walking around free.
DCI officers track down suspects and recover goods that were looted from Chieni supermarket during anti-Finance Bill protests
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