grug has dyslutsia
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trying to give it the ol’ razzle dazzle | brisbane broncos battler | she/they | 26 🌻
meanjin
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Pinned Tweet
i’m creating a thread with cursed tinder bios so that i never lose them:
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the violin was invented solely for Untouched by The Veronicas
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i’m still very angry that this rich white couple that’s ruined Christmas for an entire nation remains anonymous because of their race and class
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my parents met through one mum kicking the other mum out of the pub because she was too drunk. a truly beautiful, authentic Queensland lesbian romance.
how did your parents meet?
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hard to find love in brisbane when it’s truly slim pickings:
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WITHOUT GOOGLING name a famous historic battle
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well one of us has to change and it ain’t me. picture related
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this old lady came up to me today at work and said that she hated my eyes and that i was too pale to do anything creative with them. she then said that because SHE didn’t like them that i should stop with eyeshadow.
fuck off gladys i’ll do what i want
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why are we spending time worrying about the astrazeneca vaccine when every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north queensland
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call me radical, but hospital inpatients shouldn’t have to pay for parking lmao
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update: the police are now coming over to take the tooth and potting mix for investigation AHAHAH only me hey
um is my potting mix now a crime scene can dentist twitter please confirm
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what is your most hectic refund story?
mine is this woman who tried to return a skirt from 3 years ago, no receipt or tags, simply “change of mind.” i said i couldn’t do anything, so she threw it on the ground, spat on it, and said she was going to call p*auline h*nson 😌
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possibly the most intense customer complaint i’ve read about a grocery store in some time
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hello
@JetstarAirways
, if a disabled person misses their flight because they were 5 minutes late to boarding as there were no disabled parks, and the walk to the gate is longer than the Eyre Highway, please don’t say “that’s your problem, the next flight is $197 extra”
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this one of the funniest things i have ever seen with my own eyes on twitter dot com
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t.w
today i found out that my violent father, who my mum and i had to flee from when i was a kid, passed away last month.
he used to follow us wherever we went, send threatening messages, told my mum: “if i can’t have her [me] no one will.”
we finally feel safe.
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my mum is sadly going to pass away in the next 24 to 48 hours. they can’t stop the swelling on her brain. please give me your love.
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WITHOUT GOOGLING name a famous historic battle
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today on rank rentals that people think are acceptable to lease out:
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WITHOUT GOOGLING name a famous historic battle
WITHOUT GOOGLING name a famous historic battle
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me, a 23 yearold: i think we should raise the jobseeker payment to a liveable wage
australia boomers: THATS NOT WHAT THE AZTECS FOUGHT FOR
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sorry to be quite frank on the timeline but what is the go with “women’s” undies having the most NARROW front?? it’s like an echidna trapped under a floorboard
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me: so sorry, do you have a mask you can pop on while you shop with us?
them: no?
me: oh okay, um i’m sorry but it is a requirement of entry - do you want a disposable one?
them: no? i’m just christmas shopping?
me: oh! my bad, i forgot that covid is on it’s chrissy break! x
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T.W.
it’s been three years since my eating disorder.
i’m now the heaviest i’ve ever been, and i’ve never been more comfortable or confident. i never thought this possible, but holy fuck, i’m just so happy and in love. i have a life again.
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rural aussie boomers astonished to learn that flicking headlights to warn other drivers of coppers/speed cameras is acab
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the features of my 2000’s history education in australia:
- simpson and his donkey
- something about eureka
- gallipoli (as victory lol)
- anzacs (as war heroes lol)
- phar lap
- pearl harbour
- lamingtons
- japanese paper cranes
- the olympics
- the pyramids
- henry mawson??
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today i paid for my car service in full, without using any kind of “pay later” service, or borrowing money from friends for the first time in five years.
it might seem like a silly thing to celebrate, but this is a genuine win for me and my adhd 🤠
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i didn’t know this was a thing, but yesterday i got told that i’m in remission for BPD??? i battled that beast for 4 years, and never thought i would see the day 💫
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were you in the red sports house at school or were you a loser? xx
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idk why i have to clarify this but obviously covid cases should remain confidential 🥴 but u cannot sit here and tell me that if this couple weren’t rich and white that the Murdoch press wouldn’t be out to destroy their lives
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@patrickpoet
literally no offence but i don’t want anyone’s opinion if they’re from the U.S. like that’s just a whole new level that i’m not prepared for
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so my mum, who had two severe strokes and cannot talk and is still in hospital, is now on NEWSTART lmao
#centrekink
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@SlackfulCyclops
@hellaclitean
@PetreRaleigh
@em_aytch
white south africans are even offensive to white australians
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today at this regional NSW rally, an Aboriginal woman came up to me and covered my sunburned shoulders with a blanket and said “here ya go ya fair little whitey” and it was the most wholesome thing 😩😭
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today at work i paid for & monogrammed a memorial book for a mum who had just lost her son.
the mum & her other son both came back at different times to give me these, as thanks for doing something so simple yet so meaningful.
grief is rough - take care of your community 💛
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today on the checkouts i paid for three people’s shops by subtlety pay-passing my card. they were all bewildered but extremely grateful and it absolutely made my day to be able to help just a little bit.
#payitforward
#Coronaaustralia
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i got a job as a barista with four shifts a week in a lovely local cafe! happy days ahead surely ✨
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i am pleased to announce that i am officially obese under the BMI criteria
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🚩: your boss saying the words “fuck Fair Work” in a team meeting
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WITHOUT GOOGLING name a famous historic battle
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other than wanting a coffee and my hot water bottle, i am one VERY happy girl to have no more tonsils or adenoids. i can’t wait to be a more reliable friend, worker, and not be chronically sick from over 10 bouts of infections a year.
thank you to everyone who’s helped!!!💘✨
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boys want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting: to find out more about the tooth in the potting mix
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men only like two things and it’s DISGUSTING: friendlyjordies and sportsbet
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um is my potting mix now a crime scene can dentist twitter please confirm
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no ragrets ✨
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A very tough year personally and academically but we did it!
First Class Honours! ✨
#AcademicTwitter
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genuinely thought platypuses were the size of a crocodile until this year and i’m going to blame the 2000 sydney olympics for the misconception
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i’m going on a date tonight please hype me up xxx
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thank you for loving me, and for letting me love you for 21 years.
enjoy your snooze, Charlee. 💛
• 2001 - 2022 •
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gogglebox but it’s the royal family watching The Crown
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jet-lagged in perth and being really brave about it
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feel like pure shit just want to crack open a cold blue Pop Top with the lads
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i grew up so damn loved by two incredible women. i lost absolutely nothing not having a man in the house. there is no grief here.
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desperately trying to lose my kath and kim accent before my 4 hour job interview at Parliament House tomorrow
(((please wish me luck this job would change my life)))
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big thanks to the two dickheads who cornered me while i was filling stock and told me “you can come closer, i don’t care about social distancing” and asked me “is your number on special too?” and harassed me til i cried!!
just wanna do my job! and feel safe in public!
should i make a “please don’t sexually harass me” badge to wear at work? would men read that? no, probably not, what a silly idea.
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@CarriggLouise
wait until u find out that there’s only one set of change rooms and it’s GENDERLESS
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honestly glad that mindfulness works for some people, but it is the least helpful thing for me and i wish GP’s would stop throwing it at people as a cure
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obviously the news is grim, and we’re all feeling down, helpless, and frustrated.
so here’s a happy little vid of my champion mum walking after being told she would be paralysed from the neck down after her two strokes.
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mum just said her first word which was “no” when i beat her at a game of thumb wars 😭 they said she would never speak again. what a WOMAN!!!
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it’s not medically safe for my mum to fly yet, so sadly she won’t be able to come to my graduation and see me receive my First Class Honours degree in English.
so i brought my mortarboard and thesis up with me and we celebrated anyway 🥰✨
#AcademicTwitter
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i got my official ADHD (hyperactive/inattentive) diagnosis today and i legit cried in the car.
now i have access to appropriate treatment, and finally, medical validation and understanding.
honestly i’m in complete awe of past Ella, and now so excited for her future 💘
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what’s been on my mind lately is how all those beads from the millions of tswift bracelet things are gonna end up in landfill and in the ocean
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to think this time last week she was bleeding on the brain. goodness me!! 🥰
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yosemite not being pronounced like vegemite
What was one word you were humiliated to learn the true pronunciation of? One of mine was “bonafides”
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i just quit my retail job that made me so anxious and miserable the day before black friday. an inconvenient girlboss
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blows my fucking mind that this is one of very few residential treatment programs for eating disorders in australia
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my new boss is queer, neurodivergent, has tattoos, and is the union rep. i’ve never felt safer in a workplace 🥹
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my mum has been flown to hospital and will likely not make it. every time this happens, i just want her to be comfortable, and to know she is so loved, and that it’s okay to go if she needs to go. i know she hates this. i know i hate it.
shit is rough.
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i could break a grape with these thighs. not to be a wanker
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if you’ve touched a tooth in potting mix don’t worry about what’s in the covid vaccine
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i’ll take this moment while
#vegemite
is trending to remind everyone of Australia’s greatest tattoo
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