Georgia is a Verb
@georgiaisaverb
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Following
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Ambushed by adulthood and responsibility. Gin Enthusiast, College Football Moron, Former Intelligence Officer. W&L/UGA. He/Him.
404/540/202/404 for good
Joined July 2014
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“Tailgating my asshole neighbor’s house fire” has assumed a top-3 ranking in the Hater’s Hall of Fame.
A man using house fire embers to start up a BBQ. I present to Twitter the most Detroit thing I have ever seen with my own two eyes.
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@zachsdorfman
@kenklippenstein
“I, personally, am unhappy, and I demand to see my unhappiness reflected in everyone’s existence.”
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I believe this is what they call the “Vol Walk”
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This is five iterations of the same woman, and you cannot possibly convince me otherwise
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Police have issued an urgent BOLO for “The Coolest Fucking Dude In The Universe”
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The commercial landlords should attempt to brew their own coffee at home and eat less avocado toast.
Manhattan office vacancies the cover story for the next issue of New York magazine
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@loisbeckett
@tcfcenter
It is impossible to imagine a group of people having less sex than this group has had or will have.
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@celebrityhottub
While on vacation in Florida, packed up my youngest’s bag and my own, loaded her into the car, and drove for 20 minutes back towards Atlanta just to convince her that I would actually take her home early rather than continue to tolerate tantrums.
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@celebrityhottub
ALSO: when an Uber driver couldn’t figure out how to back down our driveway, got in the driver’s seat and did it for them
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Tuberville out here defending J6 white nationalists harder than the the South Florida offense that beat him by 25 at home
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@Miller_Congress
Wow, Mary! I didn't know IL-15 was such a big pro-Hitler district! But, I guess if you're standing for their interests and values, they must be.
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@amandamull
NARRATOR: "... and that's when Steve realized he needed to make a decision..."
IRA GLASS, AT HOME, TO HIMSELF: "So he went to therapy, right? Realized he was making decisions for his dad instead of himself?"
NARRATOR: "... so he shotgunned a few Nattys and called his ex."
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And a very special haha to this man. Sucks to suck.
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@edsbs
Yacht Crewman: Look over there — a porpoise!
Justice Thomas: I’m gonna name him “Habeus”
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@edsbs
My wife: Oh, is this supposed to be a good game?
Me: oh, no, it’s going to be hilariously bad
My wife: then why are you watching it?
Me:
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Been working on this, think it’s ready for peer review
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Softest fucking fan base on earth. Softer than Brie cheese left on a car dashboard in Americus, GA in July.
Can’t wait until Ryan Day calls out the EA developers after a close win against a mediocre team
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Like he believes in the fucking sun.
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Briefly, before I talk shit:
If I could be as good at any small element of my entire existence as Nick Saban was at being a college football coach, I’d be so proud I’d talk about nothing else.
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Reached for comment, a Waffle House spokesperson said, “shit, they went to IHOP? That’s on them. They could’ve walked in the door here on a Saturday, been cooks by Sunday, and been on the all-cash payroll by next Friday. No one would’ve ever seen them again. Fucking IHOP? LOL.”
Two men used “primitive-made tools constructed from a toothbrush and metal object” to tunnel out of a jail cell wall, Virginia police said.
They were arrested at IHOP the next morning.
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Great work to everyone involved. Just a top-notch effort here all-around.
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A guy on a conference call this am got chewed out by his boss over a bad spec he'd written; 15 mins later someone called his name and he didn't answer.
In the intervening fifteen minutes he'd hung up, drafted and sent his resignation letter, and cleaned out his desk. Go Chuck.
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Standing up after a 45oz margarita is a fucking journey
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Who's a character that didn't deserve their fate?
I'll start:
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Someone who is good at photoshop please turn this into a billboard for a personal injury attorney.
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Dumb MFer could jump out of a plane and miss the ground
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Please emasculate me with brunch.
I played college football, I’ve been to war, and I work in construction; I’ve done all the manly shit and I need brunch in my life on the reg.
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TIL that you can’t park a golf cart on Bourbon Street
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TWITTER: We are going to allow verified users to hide their blue checks so you can’t Mock & Block them
ALSO TWITTER: You will be able to Mock & Block literally everyone in “For You”
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Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh is here in State College. Looks like an emergency tarmac meeting.
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@CraigMSingleton
@TAMU
@neetu_arnold
@WSJopinion
@sharparoundtx
I’ll believe it when Sliced Bread reports it and Jimbo denies it
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HAHAHAHAHAHA DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW SMALL YOU PEOPLE ARE?!? YOU’RE TINY. YOU’LL HAVE SEVEN PINTS AND SAY SOME SHIT LIKE “I BELIEVE I’M MILDLY WOZZLED MATE” AND THEN LAY DOWN IN TRAFFIC. I’VE SEEN SORORITY GIRLS WHO COULD DRINK MORE THAN ANY DUDE I’VE EVER MET IN A UK PUB.
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BREAKING: Submersible taking tourists to the Titanic goes missing in the Atlantic Ocean
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A longtime warehouse employee retired about 10 yrs ago. A couple of weeks back, he called our 401K guy and said "there's $9000 left, and five women are gonna be fighting over it. You figure it out." He passed away Saturday.
This funeral's gonna be something.
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Our entire national experience over the last year-plus of COVID just got encapsulated for me as I watched three Boomers tell a very frustrated lifeguard that they didn’t have to get out of a pool if they didn’t want to, lightning or not.
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@bluestein
If only there was some kind of national “center” that made recommendations to help control diseases. They might have some ideas.
God, how great would it be if we had one of those in Atlanta?
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Citizens: Street racing is a problem!
ATL Law Enforcement: Eh.
Citizens: People are getting shot outside our malls!
ATL Law Enforcement: Happens.
Citizens: Oh, look -- the Krispy Kreme on Ponce caught fire.
ATL Law Enforcement: WE ARE ON THE FUCKING CASE.
The fire that occurred at
@krispykreme
Doughnuts (295 Ponce de Leon) on February 10th, 2021 has been determined to be a result of ARSON. We are seeking the public’s help in identifying & locating the suspect in these pictures. Up to $10,000 reward. 1-800-282-5804
#AFRD
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This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
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Elon in the Goodell box because Uday and Qusay don’t buy tickets anymore.
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Am I the only one who feels like everyone else on CFB/liberal sports twitter has been talking to each other for 20 years on Deadspin/EDSBS/Tumblr, etc. and then I wandered in three years ago and have been confused about the dramatics personae and the running jokes ever since?
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It is with a heavy heart that I announce that I will never again post anything as funny as this, The Buckeye Punisher
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You: “One-way ticket to Costa Rica”
Me: “Man’s gonna surf and fish and relax. Good on him.”
You: “One-way ticket to Italy”
Me: “Yes! Go in-residence at some hotel in Tuscany and learn to cook!”
You: “one-way ticket to Thailand”
Me: “uhhh… don’t take pictures, whatever you do”
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If they can’t find him in 30 minutes, they should have to give up
Man hid from police on roof after cannabis farm found in home
Full report:
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Love being in the middle of negotiating a multi-million dollar deal and the guy on the other side of the table whips out a tin and puts in four (4) pouches of Copenhagen at once and then doesn’t spit for the rest of the meeting.
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THE FUCKING ALT TEXT
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Go Dawgs.
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I actually know a few billionaires. Four of them, I think.
The answer is “all dead, almost immediately.”
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@edsbs
“Hi, I’m Tom Brady, and I’m here to tell you about Advocare’s new line of Copper Undershirts, designed to allow anyone to digest nightshades with no difficulty!”
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FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Ladies and Gentlemen we are *aware* of the temperature in the aircraft. By a show of hands, who is hot?
(Pause, followed by a multitude of raised hands)
*With* that *same* hand, if you’ll just reach up and open the vents over your seat, that’d be very helpful.
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Matt, tell me who this is and then you get to have a sports opinion.
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The Cybertruck will be the best product that Tesla has ever built & launched.
@elonmusk
$TSLA
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…aaand a Very Good Morning to
@roto_tudor
and ER docs everywhere, with a preview of coming events…
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@celebrityhottub
Also: while returning the shopping cart to the corral at Publix, an incoming shopper asked for my cart. When I handed it over to her, I involuntarily said, “I left some gas in it for you.”
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Just watched a 40-something mom from Valdosta mix orange juice and rosé, God is dead, Go Dawgs
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“I wanna look like the Macho Man Randy Savage of Palm Beach Divorcees.”
“Say no more, ma’am.”
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@HollyAnderson
That’s not fair — when Osteen thought his place was about to be flooded, he managed to install an effective defense.
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We have officially notified all of our vendors that their salespeople and other personnel cannot visit any of our offices if they aren’t vaccinated.
If we can do that in the building materials industry in the Southeast, I promise you that you can do it in your industry.
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@zachsdorfman
@kenklippenstein
“My advisor at Vassar said this was a valid model for adult behavior.”
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Out of milk.
Put a quarter-scoop of vanilla ice cream in my coffee and am now touching the face of God.
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