the other geoff tate
@geofftate96
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you don’t win friends with salad! photo by @shaunnixpotography on ig
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Pinned Tweet
SPEED is one of the best movies ever made. don’t @ me. ill fight ya
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at least OJ rushed for 2000 yards and was in THE NAKED GUN. this guy only killed two people. never did anything else
Imagine that your only success in life is killing someone.
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you could loot for years and not do the damage to mom and pop stores wal mart has done
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KNIVES OUT is on amazon prime today and in honor, id like to pitch my sequel idea. arrest the cops who murdered BREONNA TAYLOR.
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wanting an assault rifle should be enough reason to disqualify someone from buying an assault rifle
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i generally don't think highly of myself but i'm for goddamned sure i'm superior to these motherfuckers
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jesus christ, we got rid of lawn darts for fucks sake
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the hero worship of donald trump is embarrassing and i have eight (8) tom petty tattoos
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I can't believe it took
#teamkap
haters to get
#boycottNFL
going & not decades of covering up for rapists, wife beaters and murderers.
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every willie nelson fan who’s mad is lying. they’re all playing mad. no way it’s 2018 and you don’t know willie is liberal af. the only conservative thing about willie is he didn’t pay taxes for awhile.
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I think the worst part of all this is racism, bigotry, homophobia, misogyny and white nationalism are now called "political leanings"
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I bet he doesn't know what drugs or candy bars cost. I do. I bought both today. candy bars are less than drugs.
Trump: "We are becoming a drug infested nation. Drugs are becoming cheaper than candy bars."
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i’m surprised paul thomas anderson isn’t on twitter cuz he loves telling a story with 280 characters
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i’ve never ended a friendship over political beliefs. i have, however, come to the realization we never should have been friends in the first place bc of political beliefs. also, racism & bigotry aren’t political beliefs, ya fucking useless bozo
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Can I sue Limbaugh and Hannity and FoxNews for how scared my dad is all the time?
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we better delete twitter so future civilizations will mourn us
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no cigs for all of 2017. first whole calendar year since 1993. don’t smoke cigs, kids. they don’t even get you high.
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your hobby kills children. your selfishness is astounding. i like watching family feud. if a watching family feud binge killed 17 kids, i wouldn’t put up a defense. i’d stop watching or admit i didn’t care about the risks. so admit it. you don’t care.
@PFTompkins
God Damn it, I love you PFT but, your extreme lack of firearms knowledge is not only ignorant, it's disturbing.
#everyweaponkills
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in retrospect, "deplorable" seems like a pretty tame way to describe these fucking trash cowards
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tolerating intolerance does not make you tolerant. it makes you complicit.
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i haven't smoked a cigarette in over a year. the last time i went a year without a cigarette, i was 15.
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everyone would be better off not giving a fuck what bill maher thinks about anything.
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i did a whole 45 minute stand up show in a mask last night. everyone laughed. all the jokes worked. nothing was different except we all had masks on and everyone was safer. wear a fucking mask. stop believing the prez. he’s an idiot. he’s been wrong about everything.
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i bet the fish know the reason
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charles barkley speaks with the rhythm of a man trying to convince a cop he isn't drunk
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every single dude mocking AOC has scared the fuck out of a woman and blamed her for being scared. every single one of them.
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guy coulda been the executive producer for another 30 years if he hadn’t tried to make himself host. who is icarus? for a thousand
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i ordered a plain waffle in alabama today. here’s “alabama plain”
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ballpark nachos have superior genes to this sack a shit
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i’m at a billy joel concert with my mom which is how you see billy joel.
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turns out some New England Patriots are actual patriots, too
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alcohol caused all my drug use. i’ve never gotten ripped then *wanted* cocaine. when will these old fucks finally grow up?
Where Presidential Candidate Joe Biden Stands On Marijuana: "I still believe it's a gateway drug. I've spent a lot of my life as chairman of the Judiciary Committee dealing with this. I think it would be a mistake to legalize."
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hey
@gop
&
@TheDemocrats
if y'all are debating whether or not someone is too racist to be attorney general, the answer is he's too racist
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i used to hate HATE the red hot chili peppers but after one week in los angeles i’m like TURN THAT SHIT UP. is this long covid?
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this is really fucking weird
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If you would like to be an enlightened and progressive dude, realize you don't know what it's like to be anyone but you and shut the fuck up
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tom petty gonna live through this then we gonna make i won't back down our national anthem and that's the end of my plan
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Lady at Starbucks all in on Ann Taylor's Sam Kinison Collection
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lots of my Qousins and unQles are pissed the fuck off tonight. finally.
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is there a such thing as “twice mast” for flags today?
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ivanka trump is a cunt. fuck your conservative regressive beliefs and double standards. it’s insane these thins are being equated. if you voted for trump, you never get to feign offense and anything said by anyone. get fucked, cunts.
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hey
@SteveMartinToGo
can I open for you in Cincinnati in September? I'm good at comedy for real and I'll do it for free. ask around.
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i’m not “suicidal” but i have been “disappointed when the plane lands successfully.”
straight from the act in honor of suicide prevention month. i wrote this five years and then started seeing a therapist and now i’m only disappointed when the planes lands “hours late.”
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ok everybody. bonkers shit went down tonight. My dad tried to stop my show tonight with 20 minutes left bc he didn't like my trump jokes.
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2022 resolutions
1. finally break 200 bowling (third year in a row-195 is my highest).
2. watch every columbo.
3. something work related probably.
4. maybe a personal life thing
5. definitely gonna watch columbo though
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sounds like an excellent argument for background checks.
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I accidentally bought polarizing sunglasses and now they won't stop talking about abortion and defending rape jokes.
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is it possible to start a gofundme so trans kids can move tf outta arkansas
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i’m fucking sick of pockets. i’m carrying a purse now. and whenever one of you hilarious people says “what is that a purse?” i’m gonna say yes. it’s a purse. what’re those some fuckin pockets?
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sinbad should host the oscars. no script. this would be the best oscars ever. no joke.
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consequences feels like persecution when you’ve never experienced either one
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your refusal to listen and believe another person's reality is why you are a terrible person.
In what ways exactly do wealthy, pampered athletes feel "oppressed?"
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put a fucking mask on and shut the fuck up you bitches i don’t care if you don’t like it just fucking do it and if you’re still mad afterwards i’ll meet you in temecula in six weeks and fistfight yo maskless fucking bitch face you fucking babies
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there are consequences to publicizing your racism.
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you are a pizza place and this is a political opinion.
@jwyattsports
@Titans
@NissanStadium
@JasonIsbell
@amandashires
@kulturec
@JasonIsbell
lost a lot of good people as fans with all of his political opinion bs. Just write good music and perform. Leave the politics at home.
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As a man, I'm offended by "this is just how guys talk." It isn't. I don't. My friends don't. this is not cultural. It's misogyny & gross
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sarah huckabee sanders lies every day while carrying water for a madman. personally, it’s hard to find anything more offensive than that. knock off this wife and mother shit. she shouldn’t get a pass bc she goes home to a family after a long day undermining democracy
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Vince Carter is 40 and he's playing in the nba playoffs and i'm 38 and sometimes i take a nap before i go to bed.
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#NothingMoreAmericanThan
moving to a new state & pretending I have a back problem so I can smoke pot as an adult
@midnight
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if roy moore raped a jr high school girl he found while trolling the local mall and she got pregnant and had an abortion, she could go to prison for 99 yrs and he could almost be a senator.
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you’ll wear a fucking gun to target but not a mask, huh? jesus y’all are selfish.
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hold up i gotta apologize to poetry. apparently i was thinking of something else this whole time that shit was incredible
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this is objectively the funniest thing a right winger has ever posted.
Conservative Hollywood is better than liberal Hollywood:
-Tom Selleck
-Jon Voight
-Tim Allen
-Chris Pratt
-Candace Cameron
-James Woods
-Gene Simmons
-Scott Baio
-Randy Quaid
-Dennis Quaid
-Dean Cain
-Ted Nugent
-Elisabeth Hasselbeck
-Melissa Joan Hart
-Joy Villa
-Kristy Swanson
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yo
@AOC
if you’re thinking maybe you’d go to the dc improv tomorrow about 4:20, i’ll put you on the list
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a job that requires a doctor’s note to excuse an absence should also be required to provide healthcare. bitch you know how much i make of course i don’t have a drs note i’m just barfing and shitting too much to wait tables rn
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i fucking love tom petty and his entire family.
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hey look at that. biden went to church this morning and he didn’t need directions or tear gas or anything
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i walked out of a movie in clifton and immediately saw a guy chase a girl across the street and tackle her and i yelled at him and then he tackled me. she took off before our business was concluded.
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john hinckley’s guitar should say “this machine injured a fascist”
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check out time is 11. don’t fucking knock on the door at 10. you know when check out time is. y’all the ones who decided.
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you know unions are good cuz they try to stop them
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friends was on tv a really long time for a show that used up "get a monkey" in the first season
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it’s been five years since i smoked a cigarette. that’s gotta be long enough, yeah?
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there's never been a terrorist attack at my house. i'm always stoned listening to tom petty. draw your own conclusions
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conservative righties are children who think saying let’s go brandon is clever. progressive lefties are people who voted for joe biden and have no problem saying out loud fuck joe biden
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honestly, who gives a fuck what ann coulter thinks?
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ask yourself why only one side wants less people to vote
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yo
@TheDemocrats
if you need help with a filibuster, let me know. i could go til 2020. there’d be some crowd work but whatever. it’s 2 1/2 years. you gotta expect some crowd work
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$1.6B is when i’ll finally get around to playing the lotto. if i win, ima buy some senators.
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damn dude Borders closed years ago. do you mean borders? what about boarders?
If you don’t have Borders, you don’t have a Country!
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sometimes when the news tries to cover both sides of a story, they forget to mention one side is wrong. not everything is a difference of opinion.
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i once went to target and bought a nice shirt, nice pants and a tie, put them on in my car and went back in for an interview, didn’t get the job and returned the clothes same day
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i get he was a bad person and bad to his gfs but boy i’d like to know what happened with those shrimp tails.
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Ronald Reagan=ignorant
George W Bush=willfully ignorant
Donald Trump=gleefully ignorant
and they don't believe in evolution
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when a comedy is described as “not afraid to go there,” i know it won’t be funny.
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god i hope that laurence fishburne’s “scheduling conflict” that kept him from being in THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS was the MACGRUBER tv show. like he got both scripts and was like fuck i wanna be in macgruber
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is this how people acted when shoes became mandatory or are we dumber now
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james woods is really into young girls. he can deny it. his apologists can refute it. he can promote a narrative that he is into only girls of an appropriate age. it’s a pack of lies. woods likes em young. always has. always will.
He is a Muslim. He can deny it, his apologists in the media can refute it, and his enablers can promote a narrative that he is a Christian. It’s a pack of lies. Obama is a Muslim and that is where his allegiance lies. Always has. Always will.
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father’s day is complicated around here. my dad was a selfish, fragile narcissist who verbally and emotionally abused my mom and my bro and me. however, he died a few years ago so the last few father’s days have been alright.
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