Gas Nozzle Guy
@gasnozzleguy
Followers
211
Following
19
Media
61
Statuses
582
crypto guru, meme stonk afficionado, dead beat dad, real estate investor, desperate need of a job
bozo land
Joined March 2024
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Pinned Tweet
I know I’ve said and done some really disgusting shit but if you like this post I promise to take it to the next level this year
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@notlouisck
all i know is if i looked like hawk tuah girl and shoved the gas nozzle up my ass, my financial situation would look a LOT different
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@notlouisck
Yup but mine didn’t quite reach the band so I had to bend down between my legs and walk like Biden
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I’m so old I’m going to tell my kids I remember when Jake from State Farm was white
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life really starting turning to shit when sierra mist became starry
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i need some more dipshits to follow so i can roast them, like and ill follow
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Tbh when I get to hell I think there’s gonna be some fun mother fuckers down there. Man this weed is strong
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why is a blowjob while taking a shit called a blumpkin and not a crappy ending?
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but go ahead and throw that bag of Cheetos in the grocery cart, you deserve it buddy
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@notlouisck
If it was me, I’d stand up, rip my pants down and start violently jacking off. Because at the end of the day, that’s what will be remembered most
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Since abortions illegal now can we legalize jerking off in front of people? asking for a friend
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@ComedyExterior
They really gonna just steal my boy Paul from the wonder years and think I wouldn’t notice
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Honestly blasting ccr with a cig hanging out my mouth while getting killed in a gun battle in the Vietnam jungle seems like a just fine way to go out
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One of those days where the only solution is heavy drinking and light to moderate drug use to drown out the screaming sounds of your wife and kids. Cheers!
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@BrennanRay_
In my house whoever gets the gas nozzle furthest up their ass doesn’t have to watch the kids (It’s been close a few times but I always win)
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What do you think would happen to the number of rapes and sexual assaults if this happened?
Candance Owens is calling for the ban of pornography 👀
“It is a psychological weapon intended to weaken our men”
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My piss is Gatorade orange only way to fix this is to start drinking early I guess
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Yeah I can go to a bar and get a quality burger and fries for the same price as a happy meal, Mickey deez can kiss deez nuts
McDonald’s, $MCD, and other big brands warn that low-income consumers are starting to crack, per CNBC.
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@SamParkerSenate
@Cobratate
Sadly it didn’t stop your face from looking like stretched out ball sac skin
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Whoever put sunflower seeds on this everything bagel should be shot
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@ElijahSchaffer
i appreciate the absolute zero effort given to make his voice sound more feminine
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I’m finding myself saying that’s gay, retarded, and fag way too much these days. What did you guys do to me?!
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@ComedyExterior
Poor people say things like
- I shit my pants
- put code red mt dew on the list sweetie
- my back hurts
- what’s for dinner
- I hate black people
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@AuthorKimberley
@TheRock
Sweetheart no one gives a fuck who the rock votes for or any other celebrity who thinks they have some sort of power 😂
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Depends which one will let rub one out in front of them (gates for sure)
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@You_Forgot_You
If it hits your knee or elbow, then you go home a hero, get an award, get on disability, become an alcoholic or drug addict, die on the street with a cardboard veteran please help sign in your hand, you know the American dream
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Please god if ur listening send me the link to hawk tuah girls onlyfans of her giving hawk tuahs kthxbye
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@ComedyExterior
The Halocaust was caused by the woke mind virus loving vaccine propaganda Illuminati / far left Epstein island non binary Biden supporting fascists plaguing our country
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@ComedyExterior
They literally just took the tennis merch and put up a new sign and stuck a few paddles in there
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@BrennanRay_
Jacking off is so fun. Highly recommend blasting your cap as many times as you can before it’s GONE
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@ComedyExterior
She look like an elf, I’ve been frabreezing my balls since 8th grade, works still
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When was the last time you accidentally shat yourself, and what was the situation you were in
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@BrennanRay_
I think no matter what you focus on or strive for in a career, it’ll always just be an exchange of time for money. Even people with “dream jobs” are dissatisfied as much as anyone else. Get to a place of financial independence, then you can truly pursue whatever pleases you
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She got an incredible body but meth face what we doing boys
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im goin to hell for sure but at least im gonna enjoy the ride on the way down. cheers happy hump day
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7, 9 right?!
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