Garrett Green
@garrettgreen
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Following
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Statuses
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Software Engineer | Made @PhishtoryToday | 👨💻 @BroBible @garyvee @VaynerMedia | 💚 @Phish @PredsNHL #BBN | 👨🎓 @BelmontUniv @Fullstack | LEX➡️BNA➡️NYC➡️CHI
Chicago, IL
Joined September 2009
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Pinned Tweet
Bishop of Rome
God blowing up my phone
Got your girl on her knees
For confessions not dome
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cancelling all my plans for the day so I can get stoned and watch this on repeat
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oh my god send this to every person you have ever met in your entire life
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serious question because I’ve never seen it… is this movie awesome? it looks like it might be awesome.
Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Freddie Miles has one of the best character introductions on screen ever in THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY.
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Bae: Come over, I’m ordering a pizza.
Me: On my way!
Bae: Just ordered Papa Johns.
Me:
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in honor of Easter - a top 5 comeback performance - here’s the greatest outtake in television history
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it's a tough day when the dictionary basically tells you to go fuck yourself.
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*[NHL Team] eliminated*
Coach: We had 3 forwards w/ broken legs, 2 d-men w/ prosthetic arms, & our goalie is a zombie - he died in round 1
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I managed to propose to her without making a single phish reference
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Well now he’s just showing off.
...I don’t hate it one bit.
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How long was The Rock in labor?
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“You take drugs, Danny.”
“Every day.”
“Good. So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know.”
42-years ago today “Caddyshack” premiered in theaters (1980) …
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This is amazing. Imagine it with the sound effect from hitting a banana in Mario Kart on N64.
#SB50
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"The name's Bone, Ken Bone.
I'm just a man with a mustache living a commitment free life."
#debate
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Vatican is my city
Never seen a titty
But I still spit fire
Drop Psalms like bombs
And prayers mad witty
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when you’re hungover and don’t think you’re going to throw up but you’re definitely not NOT feeling like you might throw up but maybe you won’t because it comes in waves
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you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
...because they've already slept together but then he was a jerk so she settled for you.
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HBO made a show about how fucked up the world would be if 2% of the population disappeared.
Corona virus got a 97% survival rate nd the whole country panicking
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HAPPY FESTIVUS!!!
#IGotALotOfProblemsWithYouPeople
#FestivusForTheRestOfUs
#AiringOfGrievances
http://t.co/wKnNxjaJeG
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bike bro vs short finance guy is an all time douchebag matchup
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good vibes/prayers/thoughts/whatever welcomed as I’m headed to a job interview I’m really, really excited about!
🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
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just call your mom today, there’s no need to post an instagram story like its becky’s 23rd birthday.
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shouts out to all the amazing, supportive twitter homies 🙏🙌💚
hyped to share i've officially accepted my first software engineering job and start at
@paro_io
a week from monday
good vibes/prayers/thoughts/whatever welcomed as I’m headed to a job interview I’m really, really excited about!
🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
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international house of baby, oh no what is you doing
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Run the church so long
Got two Testaments
Rap game so raw
Had to give it up for lent
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Glenny Balls, porn star Asa Akira, Mr. Balls, and Mrs. Balls do date night.
The world needs this content more than it needs anything else.
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@chrismelberger
@frankiegreek
When* chance the rapper becomes president he'll be Chance The Presidential Rapper
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@People4Bernie
@therecount
we need some ‘Official Mittens of Bernie Sanders’ in the online store ASAP, please
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News: Let's talk to some dumb local.
Guy: SCIENCE, BITCH!
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whos moms is this?
Insanely powerful vibes coming from this divorce photo shoot.
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what is going on?
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*smokes weed once*
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*extremely Jon Gruden voice*
‘Hey man - I gotta tell ya, man. This guy was crazy, man. He had a sandwich that, I tell ya, was as big as a football. Looked like he could feed an O-Lineman with that thing. Had a bite & I tell ya, made me wanna run a Flavortown 2 Y Banana Split.’
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you know the vibes
@desusnice
@THEKIDMERO
It's not a real Chocha Beach day without the complementary plate of sandy spaghetti.
@JBALVIN
#DESUSandMERO
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Hi all! I'm helping my bossman
@garyvee
sell books via
@AskGaryVeeBook
account, I'd ❤️ to help you order some books!
Preorder & get your copy ASAP!
Signed:
Amazon/Audible:
Book Barter:
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@therealfrenchi
@barrybutler9
@NWSChicago
@WGNNews
@billyweather
@ABC7Chicago
@CherylScottWX
@fox32news
@NBCStormTeam5
@1035KISSFM
@weatherchannel
@JimCantore
Yesterday was surreal!
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Happy Vaynerversary to
@davidrocknyc
!
@garyvee
's man behind the 🎥 & 🔑 part of
@VaynerMedia
.
Just ask
@CaseyNeistat
!
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This is the one day every year that the whole country looks at the state of Kentucky and is like, “eh, maybe it isn’t worthless”
#KentuckyDerby
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so excited to post my snapchat story on all 37 different apps.
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Happy birthday to friend and former boss
@garyvee
!!
Thanks for everything and enjoy all the love today.
#HBDGaryVee
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happy friday
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One name, Pope
Rhymes tight like rope
Used to cook crack
Now I slang hope
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TRACKLIST
1. Closer
2. Closer 2
3. Closer 2 (Reprise)
4. Closer to Paris
5. Paris
6. Something Closer to Paris
7. Paris Like This
8. Closer
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FUCKING LAVA
Colorado State's alternate uniforms incorporate the Colorado state flag. They are gorgeous.
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