isabel
@garbage_person
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1,415
Following
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Media
9,219
Statuses
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“I’m living the American dream, one mistake at a time.” - Kelly Killoren Bensimon
Hell, MI
Joined November 2012
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Pinned Tweet
tfw a guy tries being open and honest with u about his feelings
http://t.co/AsiKIfmhRe
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I’m looking into adopting a dog, and grill master dave……. he’s calling to me……..
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conservatives got mad at starbucks writing "happy holidays" on their cups
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"TikTok is not just China’s revenge for the century of humiliation between the Opium Wars and Mao’s revolution. It is the opium — a digital fentanyl, to get our kids stoked for the coming Chinese imperium."
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ike barinholtz is playing jeopardy. not celebrity jeopardy. just regular jeopardy as a citizen. incredible stuff.
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It's insanely unfair that we've put our black employees in this situation
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Barstool: The Official Account for Men Whose Wives Have Left Them
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resistance is putting a bandana around your head and getting mad online
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unfortunately dave is probably too big for my tiny apartment, but if anyone else is interested, here’s his foster link!
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lol
Bill Burr is trash and has always been trash. Not because he doesn’t raise valid criticisms in some of his comedy, but because he has always leveraged his ability to point them out to the detriment of change and the benefit of himself, and he can fuck off into the sun for it.
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netflix should have aired this instead of matt rife’s comedy special
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fascinated by this guy who just has an unconditional love for arby’s.
@Arbys
please notice him!!!!
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@rainer43211
@tayburgh7
@EmmalineClemen4
people don’t stalk and abuse others because they’re gay. don’t make excuses for him.
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you play a 17 year old who’s on the lam because he just escaped from a jail that only arrested extremely hot teens and also hosted an underground fight club, all run by your girlfriend’s criminal dad. also, the town is being run by a dungeons and dragons game
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I’m cracking the fuck up at katie and blake ALREADY breaking up. and we didn’t even get fucking greg as our bachelor out of it. truly the worst season of all time
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this show trying to make maria a villain when she’s literally the only cool one there
#thebachelor
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@ladytstanz
@chick_in_kiev
listen, don’t judge me!!!! I can’t even begin to understand the mechanics behind tik tok’s for you algorithm
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@willmenaker
in a constant state of anxiety every time I watch this show because the fictional world it takes place in will never know peace until he’s dead
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@heavygrape1
@rainer43211
@tayburgh7
@EmmalineClemen4
the court documents were released. there is literal evidence of him stalking her and putting a tracking device in her car. not sure what else you need to stop making excuses for that kind of behavior.
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love to shout at my tv, “NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” every time I watch an episode of jane the virgin
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*wakes up after night of excessive drinking*
*checks texts*
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my mom keeps showing me pictures of all the trump children before they got plastic surgery
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any guy who claims women are more dramatic should watch one episode, nay TEN MINUTES, of the bachelorette.
#TheBachelorette
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@jimgeraghty
I’d feel 1,000 times more comfortable in a workout class with a trans woman than I would standing 3 feet away from you alone at a bus station
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what is this graphic 😭😭😭😭
According to multiple reports, the Sixers have fired coach Brett Brown.
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having to work four jobs in order to support yourself or your family. welcome to america.
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this is the funniest thing trump did
Donald Trump, answering phone call from 7-year-old on Christmas Eve: "Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at seven it's marginal, right?"
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why do men think this is a good opening line? it’s not. stop it. go to horny jail. bonk
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*guy dies because his fraternity brothers literally made him drink himself to death*
ronnie: how can I blame women for this
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@ClaraJeffery
please don't blame men for this one. your strange fake child quote tweets are really, truly insufferable.
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lol some person in my mentions literally just took their blood pressure and reported it back to me to prove they're not mad.
#twitter
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brands online in 2012: please buy our product :) you are an extremely valued customer and we appreciate you :)
brands online in 2018: shut up and eat it, you virgin
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@ByYourLogic
her account is absolutely wild. she once doxxed a woman for making a joke about needing a fake vaccination card so she could travel
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GARRETT literally just said, “butterflies are like, small feelings. you don’t give me butterflies. you give me eagles.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? asksjxnsjdhs this man is AS DUMB AS ROCKS!!!!
#thebachelorette
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after
@jonny_is_good
’s terrible pizza post I did some exploring and I cannot stop fucking laughing. what the fuck is this. I’m dying
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lmao, anti fems always proving they are literally clueless as to what feminism actually is
I like men who hold my door,
Pull out my chair.
Then after dinner...pull my hair. 😈
#NationalPissOffaFeministDay
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a guy on here once literally tested his heart rate to prove to me he was in fact, not angry and actually very calm
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I think this is the one that made me laugh out loud the hardest
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the absolute best part of the
#TheBachelor
is when gorgeous, tan, thin women talk about how hard it is to find love
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probably an unpopular thing to say but I think this reunion would have been soooo much better without james and lala
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@cuntneykardash
I’m 1000% certain that kathy is doing BH now, after all these years, to distract from bad press after paris went public about her childhood trauma. kathy makes for great tv but it’s all VERY curated and very intentional.
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it's hard dating someone with a different religion. how do I tell my bf I want my children to celebrate honda days instead of toyota thon
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I honest to god thought lee was gonna say something like, "my grandfather- this is really sad, but- he was in the KKK."
#TheBachelorette
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my parents haven’t been able to see my bother since march. they weren’t able to see him or be with him when he was hospitalized with COVID in april. today, they were finally allowed to see him again 😊
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thank you for doing the brave job of standing up for billionaires and their yachts
Betsy DeVos might be terrible at her job
But not because she is really rich
Plenty of people on all sides of the political spectrum have tons of $
Whether you have a row boat or a yacht, it doesn’t deserve to be vandalized
And that act should not be celebrated
#togetherwerise
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just ordered some shoes from my favorite shoe place, Dance Hoes
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sorry, but it seems like this tweet just proves that brunch is actually good
just saw a drunk brunch guy try to pick up his gf like, wedding night style, and then immediately fall forward into their table breaking absolutely everything in sight. brunch is a cancer
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@realityyy_guru
@maggiebachstuff
there have been 26 bachelors. do you think every single one of them had a preference for only extremely thin women?
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remember, colton has never brought another girl home to meet his family before!!
#TheBachelorette
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@peggyinidaho
@man_respecter
shouldn’t you be asking this to our current sitting politicians?
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she then wrote her dissertation on gender norms and presented it to a panel of distinguished colleagues and professors
My mom mentioned to my almost 6yo daughter that one day she will have a husband. 🙄
"Well I might marry a girl and have a wife or maybe I wont get married.
Did you know some kids have 2 girl parents? Right mama?"
That's right baby.
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GOOD
They do 300,000 abortions a year. They do 300,000 abortions a year. They do 300,000 abortions a year. They do 300,000 abortions a year.
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@Brocklesnitch
I was SO shocked because the advertising for the movie REALLY made it seem like it would be a fun man-hating slasher
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I’m bringing the prison abolition movement to the bachelor subreddit
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so weird how they all have the exact same handwriting???
We can’t express enough how grateful we are to serve you, Austin. Our officers have been working around the clock during these unprecedented times and thank everyone who took the time to write and make our day a little brighter.
#OneAustinSaferTogether
#Thankful
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@BGaytion
1) he’s hot
2) women will go crazy for him
3) he’s funny
4) it will make katie mad, which in of itself is very funny
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I don’t care what society has to say about my curvy husband. he is beautiful
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john paul jones and tayshia are the breakout couple of paradise. I love them and would die for both of them.
#bachelorinparadise
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