max :3
@gamergirlwesker
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Following
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Media
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19 | my brain is literally just autism soup at this point idk what you want me to say
he/him
Joined April 2023
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ooough,,
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hi guys
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im on a roll today
“how cruel. don't you have a human heart?” / “no. she took it with her.”
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:)
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date idea
(im hoffman)
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me rn
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i forgot that we open the film to johns jigsac. curses... i was too blindsighted by the promise of yaoi so toxic, so full of disdain and obsessession that you feel like youre intruding just by watching the damn movie, that i forgot about john kramers fucking TESTICLES.
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*leans against the wall*
heyyy gorgeous, wanna come back to my place so i can put you in an inescapable trap that youll escape by doing a self inflicted ballpoint tracheotomy, thus exceeding my expectations and causing me to be utterly obsessed with you?
I just found out something very interesting about the three people in the traps. They were all represented by lawyer named Art Blank.
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i wonder if you talked about me， as you went home， or thought of me when the moon rose.
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@saintjarna
putting himself in a situation where hes tied up and being fingered by a man... mark hoffman i wish to call you a word that rhymes with maggot
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the sucking sound was me sorry
[Strahm’s eyes shoot open. His face strains with pain, his mouth clenched shut. Strahm withdraws the ballpoint pen and blood spirts out. He takes out the inside of the pen and then reinserts it into his throat, allowing him to breathe. A SUCKING SOUND IS HEARD… IT WORKS.]
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if the merchant keeps praising me like this im gonna have to fuck him
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god hes so... special agent peter strahm i want you. i want you so badly please strahm we can have a marriage where we're like tom and jerry if thats what you want please just one chance
[The tape cuts out. Strahm slams it down.] Fuck you.
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why did hoffman do this? is he gay?
[CLOSE ON: Rigg’s red eyes SHOOT OPEN. They shift around. Rigg springs forward — he’s in a BATHTUB. Rigg frantically pulls open the curtain and climbs to his feet, totally freaked out.]
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hi everyone!
if you spend time somewhere， and leave a piece of yourself there... that's home enough.
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does this work... am i crazy??
i love you. i feel as though we were never strangers， you and i， not even for a moment.
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@peepeestrahm
...okay realistically he either died pretty quickly due to the shock brought on by the pain, or once his lungs were crushed because i think the walls got his chest before his head???
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smiles
you would choose him, even if it meant the destruction of the world. it’s a selfish, atrocious choice. and yet, it looks more like love.
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@peepeestrahm
imagine strahm just watching hoffman sleep next to him and he gets emotional bc he realizes at one point that he really isnt going anywhere and he allows a few tears to run down his face bc he actually feels happy and loved and he lays next to hoffman all content and- <--- insane
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bro was picturing strahm wearing nothing but this waiting for him on the bed im sick of his gayass
STRAHM: “Open the door. You will find me.”
HOFFMAN: What?
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i couldnt resist im sorry
it's awful not to be loved. it's the worst thing in the world... it makes you mean， and violent， and cruel.
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@peepeestrahm
i just think its hilarious to imagine them being best friends while strahm gives perez the most betrayed look
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hey guys...
who's the real you? the person who did something awful， or the one who's horrified by the awful thing you did? is one part of you allowed to forgive the other?
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what the fuck am i missing in that vc 😭
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god he's such a fucking hater i need him
[Hoffman winks to Perez and exits. Perez watches, she likes him. Strahm gives her a look, and she drops her smirk.]
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hes gotta be holding back a moan or something
We’re here to find the person your department couldn’t, Detective. The one helping Jigsaw and Amanda Young. [Hoffman nods, holding his tongue.] Excuse me.
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LOOK AT HIS FACE HE *HAS* TO HAVE HIM
[The attention at the location shifts to an EMT emerging with a PERSON ON A GURNEY. Hoffman’s battered survivor front instantly drops. He moves to the EMT, pushing through a crowd. Hoffman looks to see who the person is on the gurney…
It’s STRAHM, doused in blood.]
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@fangfilet
his consequence is getting ketchup on his face and not realizing it until someone points it out
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HE SAID THE THING!!! lets just hope the fbi dosnt try descrambling the voice later haha wouldnt that be crazy? surely that wont happen...
Right now you’re feeling helpless. This is the same helplessness you’ve bestowed unto others. Some would call this karma, but I call it justice. You served five years of what should have been a life sentence for murder.
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@peepeestrahm
i twirl my hair every time i watch saw 4 im like ahaha wow... youre so smart and sexy and handsome and im genuinely actually slash serious impressed with how quickly you figured this shit out peter strahm the intelligent, beautiful man you are
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guys im about to go crazy on this one
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@peepeestrahm
his eyelashes his greying hair the pierced ear... hoffman i get it id put him in situations for my amusement too
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can i say lbw hoffman
i didn’t save you because it was the logical thing to do. in the end, it was a selfish, emotional decision. but that’s okay. i'm not a hero, so i've never once regretted saving you. not even for a moment.
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lawrence gordon
[doctor voice] alllllllllllllright . now can you tell me how many fingers i have inside you
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@peepeestrahm
strahm would try deep frying a turkey if he was left to his own devices so hoffman has to put the tv on to calm him down and keep him out of the kitchen
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@peepeestrahm
in the hospital with strahm trying to seem cool and collected but his tail keeps wagging and it picks up the pace every time strahm makes a jab at him
do you see my vision am i painting a clear picture here
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GET A FUCKING GRIP!!!
THIS IS A CRIME SCENE, NOT A GRINDR HOOKUP.
PEREZ: Detective Hoffman.
HOFFMAN: Yeah?
PEREZ: I’m Special Agent Lindsey Perez. This is Special Agent Peter Strahm.
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@peepeestrahm
hoffman: haiii agent strahm X3
strahm: holding back the most vicious attack known to man
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fuck it, we're doing a chainshipping one too
however this ends， i want you to know， that right now， i love you forever.
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when was the last time YOU had sex, special agent peter strahm?
JILL: Would you mind—
STRAHM: (interrupting) When was the last you’ve been in a sexual relationship?
JILL: What—
STRAHM: Sex. When was the last time you had sex? You do have sex, don’t you?
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can i say this or,
however this ends， i want you to know， that right now， i love you forever.
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the killer when youre playing dbd:
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@turnipoddity
hey lawrence gordon mr gordon sir im free if you are lawrence please just one chance,,
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hes such a fucking cunt i want him so badly
Okay. Let’s review. Girl loves boy. Boy loves girl. Boy gets girl pregnant. Girl loses baby. Boy… turns into a serial killer. Jill, I’m not buying it.
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@peepeestrahm
i like that his hair forms antennas so it looks like hes trying to tune into the nearest radio station
his eyes say that he doesnt know what spotify is and he genuinely thinks that he has to beam the radio into his mind to listen to music
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can i say this
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@fangfilet
saw is a very porn filled franchise its just that... well. the penetration is offscreen unless its with a knife, then you see the Glory Shot in full ultra HD
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@peepeestrahm
on some fuckin light yagami shit talking about "the chess master of death" like 😭
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hoffstrahm
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looking him up and down... suspicious behavior. i know what you are.
[Strahm’s eyes drop, looking Hoffman up and down.] Look at you, though. A couple of scratches and a story about breaking your arm straps. Jigsaw doesn’t make mistakes.
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your worst sin is that you have destroyed ﹠ betrayed yourself for nothing.
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strahm baby just listen to the warning and get the fuck out, theres a crazy gay bitch waiting for you
Hello, Agent Strahm. If you’re hearing this then you’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for. But is the discovering of my body enough? Or will your insatiable hunger to uncover the truth push you deeper into the abyss?
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not me though, saw 3D lawrence gordon i want you.
If I was attracted to a blonde man I’d keep that to myself
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HOFFSTRAHM BUT STRAHM SURVIVING DO YOU FUCKIGN GET IT PEOPLE
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smiles
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@peepeestrahm
he only squeezes by hoffman by grabbing him by the hips and guiding him out of the way
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look at marks gayass im sick of him in that fuckin bdsm getup im gonna beat him with a hammer
Thus, preventing you from making the right ones. You wanted to save everyone. Tonight, I give you the opportunity to face your obsession. Look closely. Eric Matthews is still alive. The block of ice he stands upon is melting. He has but ninety minutes to save himself.
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@peepeestrahm
me who read "hoffmans dick" and got so horny i passed out: yheahb haha nme too,, hhnfng,,,
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@peepeestrahm
he somehow always overcooks his easy mac cups and he eats it looking like a kicked puppy
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i can kill all of them if i want. therefore， i can save all of them if i want.
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i am NOT paying attention to the interrogation
I’m just curious as to why. You know, there’s a lot of people out there looking for answers. Want to place blame on someone. That person is you.
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@peepeestrahm
perez is so horrified that she starts subtly snooping for drugs (excluding strahm's coke bc she already knows about that)
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@peepeestrahm
hoffman resting his hands on strahms hips when theyre both standing in the kitchen waiting for the coffee to brew... all sleepy and hoffman makes an offhanded comment about how strahm is softer and strahm smiles softly to himself before telling hoffman to shut the fuck up fondly
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real gamers only play resident evil in assisted mode (im too busy staring at leons ass to actually fight)
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@stjarnasty
strahm with his head thrown back, and when he looks back down at hoffman he has one of those barely there smiles going on and hoffman almost blows his load right there
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we're about to witness hoffman falling in love
[Hoffman makes his way from the meat processing facility when a RUCKUS takes his attention.] We have a live one!!!
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weskers ass in dbd is so fuckin fat you can see it under his gay lil trenchcoat and that makes me happy
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hoffman was simultaneously the most panicked and turned on hearing strahm start solving this shit so quickly
HOFFMAN: John Kramer was—
STRAHM: The bedridden cancer patient? He’s brains. Not brawn.
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smiles wide at you
oh， i could call you names now. list a hundred reasons for why you were awful. but what would that do? where would it leave me? i still loved you. i still have to live with that.
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@strahmwife
starts eating fistfuls of drywall followed by gnawing at the foundation of the house
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HE SAID THE THING
HOFFMAN: How did you?
STRAHM: On a gurney with a fucking hole in my throat.
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oh yeah lemme just change my username to fuck fuck real quick jesus christ
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STRAHM AND HIS FUCKING BEANIE OH MY FUCKINGG GOD IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS I GENUINELY FEEL THE URGE TO LET OUT A GUTTURAL SCREAM IF I LOOK AT THIS FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS
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this one causes me intense psychic damage every time i see it like im straight up getting beat over the head with this tweet
who got that benji peepeestrahm tweet
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its bc gay marriage wasnt legal at the time... sad!
but also his bride to be fucking hates him so
PEREZ: Boy or girl?
HOFFMAN: Girl.
PEREZ: I didn’t know you were married.
HOFFMAN: I’m not. It’s a short story, believe me.
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hi guys
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excuse me for a moment
[LOUD, MUFFLED SCREAMING]
Just fell to my knees for 2 entirely different reasons
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