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fartcheeto

@fartcheeto

Followers
5,122
Following
270
Media
1,298
Statuses
8,213

honorary lesbian // cashapp: $poopfrito

Joined June 2022
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
The one thing they don't tell you about having a hot girlfriend is that the prettiest girls are also the sleepiest. Every morning i get up and do random side quests for 4-6 hours until she wakes up.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
UPDATE: she’s a Republican, im an idiot, and there is no such thing as love.
@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
POV: you’re the woman at the Halloween party i went to that flirted with me and called my shitty cowboy outfit “adorable” and i am staring into your eyes desperately trying not to say “i love you”
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
6 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
This is like if 9/11 was actually bad
@CantEverDie
onion person
9 months
WHAT THE FUCK. EVIL SOUL. NO WHIMSY
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER That’s on me, that’s my bad. Won’t happen again, just been a little clumsy this week
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
“You can fix her” motherfucker I cannot fix myself. That shit aint happening. I need you to learn not to be a Republican on your own, it’s not that hard. Just a sliver of empathy and a couple brain cells
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 months
@wedge_shaped I need to take a mondo duke there and walk away dramatically as the building collapses to rubble behind me
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
She's so hot
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
Wait, are you guys serious about this whole Communism thing? I was just doing it to get laid… i don’t actually have to read all those fuckin books, right?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
How did one of you get my address and what the fuck is this?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@jarvis He is an example of what happens to the human brain when u have no friends
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@ObviousWC oh he just like me fr
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
IM BISEXUAL I CAN SAY THE WORD
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Guys please stop following me. Everytime you like one of my tweets, you make me sink deeper into my mental illness through my sick, demented posting. Need yall to stop encouraging me, im clearly already in hell
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@dklmarxist I used to be him in High School, now I’m just bi and suck dick in a variety of scenarios, not just ones where my life is being threatened. It’s cool 👍
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
A bit personal, but here’s a poem i wrote recently about my addiction/depression: I got a glock in my rari 17 shots, no .38 I got a glock in my rari 17 shots, no .38 I’m like yeah, she’s fine Wonder when she’ll be mine She walk past I press rewind To see that ass one more time
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
@ArtJCFB That’s like a lot
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@CantEverDie Community Notes: None of the users present in this screenshot have ever felt the touch of a woman or known what it feels like to be loved.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
POV: you’re the woman at the Halloween party i went to that flirted with me and called my shitty cowboy outfit “adorable” and i am staring into your eyes desperately trying not to say “i love you”
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@BigChromie If only there was a sexuality that allowed for liking men and women… oh well, hope they add that in the next update
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
7 months
I've recently accepted that I'll never be able to understand or relate to incels bc as a pathetic bisexual man with mommy issues and a deep sadness in his eyes, women just have this inherent, fierce, unquenchable thirst for me that i can't explain.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@Srirachachau I, for one, am getting bad vibes from the guy that wants to kill a random woman for doing comedy and spare Hitler. Something seems fishy there
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@vanoreo_ Didn’t know the devil on my shoulder had a twitter account. Nice to see you here.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@CantEverDie Cillian Murphy was born to be a women’s basketball cheerleader, not an award winning actor. We were robbed of true greatness.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
This conversation has been a long time coming. It’s about time we discuss Jenny Tightpants and how she is the perfect representation of what the Online Left has become. A thread. (1/?)
@halomancer1
jenny_tightpants🪑
10 months
god forbid i influence the teenagers into not voting for biden
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
I hate my life
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
8 months
@Very__Regular Worked there for a bit and after DJ Khaled tapped out early, we realized we should essentially water down the sauces. We've been doing it ever since bc it makes for better interviews and happier celebs, but we don't water down Sean's. He thinks it's real, and we let him suffer.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@drmistercody Beginning to think he might not be a centrist
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
@Saeko_Cut I actually dirty my chicken before i cook it. I roll it on the floor. It adds flavor.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
@ph00tbag I understand, and I'm not complaining. It must be so tiring being that hot all the time, i imagine it takes a lot out of you.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
Accounts with 8 followers when they request your priv:
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@SamtheNightOwl I’m in my mid 20s and i would kill god with my bare fucking hands to match with a 35yo woman holy shit
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Got into an argument with my father about Palestine and i SHIT YOU NOT he goes, “Have you heard of Prager University? They have a lot of really good videos on Israel.”
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@CosmonautMarcus MARCUS ARE THEY WEARING HOODS OMG GET OUT OF THERE MARCUS NOOOOOO
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
This incident was just yesterday. Going out of her way to attack a user. I contacted said user, and he was clear that this was a lie. He definitely actually gets bitches like fr. He’s not a virgin, he’s has sex before. At least twice. She is spreading lies, like all leftists.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@CantEverDie I also think it’s made worse by some of the people that bring it up always contrasting it with the female experience. Saying “look we have it so much tougher than WOMEN” which makes it harder to take your point seriously. It’s a real issue, but a lot of those focusing in it suck
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@wokeydpronouns And that’s just a theory, a Gender Theory
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@JUNlPER Yeah, they’re definitely “targeting children” with this ad for a beverage u can’t buy unless ur 21
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
Presented without comment.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
The rumors are true, I have left the Left. Please read this in its entirety, and do not speculate about any parties involved. - Cheeto ❤️🇺🇸
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@ettingermentum I hope he had a little notepad and it just said “TELL NIKKI HER DAUGHTER SUCKS”
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
Randomly getting someone a gift for no reason is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Being out and seeing stuffed rabbit, getting it and saying “hey this made me think of you.” Worked with plants for a while, so I’ve always loved getting a partner flowers. It’s nice
@JasonSCampbell
Jason S. Campbell
9 months
Matt Walsh: "Buying a Valentine's Day gift for your wife a month early is the gayest thing you could do"
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
I’m not fucking “autistic” im doing a bit
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Can one of the wonderful lesbians that follows me explain why so many people are saying they’re shocked that this wasn’t tweeted by a lesbian?
@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
UPDATE: she’s a Republican, im an idiot, and there is no such thing as love.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
SOMEBODY DO A WELLNESS CHECK ON JORDAN PETERSON RIGHT FUCKING NOW
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
Things that I haven’t experienced: - winning a game of chess Things that I have experienced: - the loving touch of a woman
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@Ted_K_Enjoyer Politics affect everyone and are a reflection of how you think and what you value. That’s not something i can overlook. I’m also queer (bisexual) so i kinda don’t wanna date or be friends with someone that doesn’t think my community deserves equal rights.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER My first lady got a Minecraft fit on, hell yeah. Gonna vote twice for her husband next election 🫡🫡🫡
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
@tylerduran21 Not a huge bush fan?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
@BigChromie I didn't know you guys even knew what the word "girlfriend" meant
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
It’s been a few days, and im happy that we all had fun with Kissinger’s death. But im gonna need yall to keep this same energy for when Ronald Reagan dies
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
The package was addressed to “fartcheeto” and there was also a glock and a lesbian pride flag inside. There was no note. What does this mean?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
@bonnibloop_ *sweating nervously* umm uhhh… y—yes?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@The_sigma_fem Just spitballing here, but uhhh… instead of talking to a robot you could talk to a woman. Or maybe a therapist. A pastor. Just a real person. Please.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
She is also accused of attempting to forcibly feminize a man. I have been in contact with him, and he made it clear that he is a big strong cis man and definitely not a girl. He didn’t wear a friend’s skirt in middle school as a joke and like it and thinks about that a lot.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@wokeydpronouns I’m a slut for correctly formatted venn diagrams.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
This is just some of the overwhelming evidence that has PILED UP against her. This is not fucking ok. Jenny Tightpants is a diabetic, manhating gamer. We cannot let someone like that have power. The left has gone insane. END OF THREAD.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@halomancer1 Everyday I regret not becoming a right wing grifter. I could get on YouTube and say made up shit like “bubblegum is gay” and a fracking billionaire would pay me the same salary as a pro athlete. Where did i go wrong?
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
8 months
*gulps*
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
*taps sign*
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@CantEverDie
onion person
10 months
WE’RE SO BACK
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@ettingermentum I have a stutter sometimes, i hurt my ankle falling off a bike earlier this year, and i spend about half my time just chillin not doin shit. He is by far the most relatable president of my lifetime
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER @jk_rowling JK Rowling blocked the goblin mode lady. “What?” U know on Twitter… the transphobic lady that wrote Harry Potter, she blocked the lady that did the Julia Fox Goblin Mode thing on Twitter. “Jesse what the fuck are u talking about?”
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
How it feels to be the only cis man in the group chat
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER I’m the guy whose job it is to put all the lead in, can confirm this is 100% legit
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
Deleting my account
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER This is their 9/11
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@funnymagicring I’m not a democrat, I’m a queer leftist. She’s apparently transphobic and made some recent posts supporting a genocide. I don’t actively wish harm upon her, but I’m not interested in dating or being friends with someone who lacks a half-decent moral compass. I think that’s fair.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@Liv_Agar None of these words are in the bible
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
6 months
Drake just posted this on his insta story in response to Kendrick's latest diss:
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Wanna make it abundantly clear that i stand by this and it was funny. I deleted bc right wingers found it and were quoting it saying to report my account. I don’t want a bunch of death threats again either. I’m not a pussy, im just tired and don’t wanna lose another account
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@halomancer1 I am being forcibly feminized by the Left.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
The best thing about one of your tweets going viral is the cool DMs you get
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
@wokeydpronouns There is a lot of evil and darkness in this place. But every once in a while a ray of sunshine breaks through the clouded sky, its warmth hits my face, and I experience true unfettered beauty
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@halomancer1 He 100% jacked off to that tweet
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
@CantEverDie They may have filled the rat hole, but they also created a new hole… in my heart.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
5 months
@beowyfe When we met, we had similar amounts of followers and were on similar paths. You got to continue growing your account and have had many many viral tweets. Meanwhile, *I* get to be happy. I think that's fair.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@UNSTABLEPOSTING Transphobes:
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER Think they’re less concerned with the popularity of weed and more concerned with how they can keep imprisoning poor black people
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER I can’t have Google automatically recommending “goon cave tutorial” everytime i type a singular “g” into the search bar
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@LolOverruled YOU HIT HER???
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@ettingermentum No, he was arrested after police found human remains and evidence of cannibalism in his LA home that he sold in 2013
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
New one dropped overnight, and it’s my favorite
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@JUNlPER Ok stand still, Steven… don’t move, this will make u feel better, i promise. U won’t think about the divorce ever again…
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
9 months
She a 9. We meetin up at 11. And imma give her a night she’ll Never Forget. Call me Bin Laden.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
10 months
Never wrong, just early.
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@BenjySarlin
Benjy Sarlin
10 months
🟡SCOOP: There was a SECOND Capitol sex tape investigation last year, @kadiagoba reports. This one was on the House side. Semafor has viewed some of the material, which included footage apparently shot inside the Capitol complex.
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
1 year
@drmistercody I love crashing my car by accidentally pulling up Angry Birds while im trying to put it in reverse
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER your honor im over here strokin my dick i got lotion on my dick rn
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
WHICH WAY WESTERN MAN…….
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@tyler02020202 Me when the person who was obviously grooming me and who everyone warned was grooming me turns out to have been grooming me:
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Slowly realizing that the only way my account will truly blow up is if i actually start doing estrogen
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
Thank you for your input “RabiesTheRacist” 👍
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
11 months
@skyboundyuri lmfaooooo
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@fartcheeto
fartcheeto
2 years
@JUNlPER I am white and my name is literally scooter what the fuck
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