Sam 👁️
@SamtheNightOwl
Followers
11K
Following
251K
Media
1K
Statuses
72K
hi, i'm sam | cautious optimist | commie sympathizer | philosophy enthusiast | private alt for mufos:@SamtheTranquil. bluesky: https://t.co/UCuCsiRPM9
Los Angeles | he/him
Joined November 2020
use to break the paywall. copy your desired url for whatever ft story you wanna read and paste it into the archive. you're welcome.
It's insane how great Financial Times reporting is. Top quality, there is practically no publication that rivals it.
5
20
244
baklava, if made correctly, is probably the single greatest dessert in the history of humanity.
2K
18K
174K
children deserve parents who want them, don't they?.
149
19K
167K
hbo's decision to rebrand to max is arguably worse than twitter's attempt at rebranding to X. nobody's gonna know what you're talking about when you say "max" so you're gonna call it "hbo max" anyway.
674
7K
170K
this guy is so unstoppable that he has not only been in hospice care for over a year and a half, he beat stage 4 eye cancer that metastasized into his brain. at age 92.
164
7K
157K
why would anyone want to work a job like this.
Why aren’t we encouraging our girls to pursue jobs like this? We need true equality
889
8K
144K
his name is Gavin Christopher Newsom and he is the governor of California. he has been telegraphing a run for president for like 20 years and is ready to do it in 2028. he also probably drinks the blood of infants for daily sustenance.
The Dems/Progressives might need a sociopath.
750
7K
148K
one time in college, i knew a dude who once told me, in stone-cold seriousness, that you could solve racism by genetic engineering to make everyone in the world the same skin color. anyway he's studying to be a medical scientist at the Johns Hopkins school of medicine lmao.
596
7K
98K
98% of people who get arrested by the u.s. postal inspectors service are convicted at trial. don't fuck with the mail.
Authorities in Colorado would really appreciate if you DON'T copy this key that can open all blue U.S. mail boxes. Just to make sure you don't copy it, the news have provided a high-rez picture of the key that should NOT be copied.
129
5K
81K
when exactly did standup comedians become the whiniest bitches on earth
723
4K
68K
sick and tired of this world being ruled by early birds. night owls need to rise up.
188
8K
71K
i hate this thing where college grads implicitly assert that they don't deserve poverty wages but people without degrees do. i hate it so much.
Having a degree and getting paid anything under $20-$25 is disrespectful. Entry level or not.
492
7K
63K
like 95% of serious behavioral problems many students exhibit in schools is caused by this country's apathy to poverty, it's insane.
109
6K
57K
after i decided to quit coffee, i went on r/decaf to learn about any possible benefits to this abstinence from caffeine. that subreddit is almost exactly like r/nofap. no joke. it's bizarre.
261
1K
59K
this was the most intentional-looking pedestrian collision of all time.
OFFICER HIT: Video obtained by KTLA appears to show the moment a Los Angeles Police Department cruiser rushing to the end of a stolen vehicle pursuit in Sun Valley strikes a fellow officer running across the street. Full video & details:.
148
3K
52K
@vanillaopinions it's smart. i mean, everybody knows she's a woman, just as everybody knew obama was a black dude. just focus on everything else.
29
328
52K
I know we’re “breaking generational curses” but our parents got one thing right: don’t let your kids go on sleepovers.
198
3K
50K
so, 1 of my coworkers in accounting casually admitted to me that she's probably an alcoholic. i said that if you're not drinking every day, you're probably not an alcoholic. she said she doesn't drink every day, but when she does, she kills almost a whole wine bottle. i said "oh".
727
725
49K
even the biggest assholes on earth will still ask you "what floor?" when they're near the buttons.
A man walked into the elevator and said “six please”… guess I’m a bellhop now?
65
2K
41K
one of the funniest things i randomly think about is that jfk requested for the top of the convertible to be drawn down and the secret service strongly advised against it and he totally ignored their warning.
117
2K
39K
my unironic hot take on abortion is that 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘧 a fetus were a person in the same sense that i am or you are, it's still very much morally permissible to have an abortion.
218
2K
31K
i love matching with tons of beautiful women then finding out they'e like a couple of years older than me and becoming extremely depressed over this.
224
830
32K
one of the funniest pieces of discourse on this website is the attempt to make weed appear equivalent to alcohol in terms of personal and social destruction. these are not the same, at all.
259
2K
31K
ok so if you've ever seen the term "functional illiteracy" and wondered what it looks like in practice, this demonstration will give you a good idea, sadly.
116
2K
28K
i think academics shouldn't have to dumb down their work for the sake of adults who aren't even interested in reading the literature anyway
272
2K
29K
so out of curiosity and boredom i started listening to a true crime podcast to see why people love this genre of media so much and man that shit is so obviously designed to make you buckle in terror whenever you leave your house lol this shit is really bad for you.
262
938
28K
i can't count how many times i've seen a celebrity on there be visibly impressed with the originality of the questions shaun presents and say something like "wow, no one has ever asked me question before". mfs just say anything on here.
89
1K
28K
under communism, we will no longer have those fucked up nightmares where you think you're about to graduate from high school/college but suddenly find out that you never attended some class you were supposed to and needed that class in order to graduate,.
349
2K
26K
this person is mad because a teacher confiscated their phone last week.
teachers deserve all of this and 10x worse when you realize the total amount of life hours wasted away in a stale fluorescent lighting prison learning nothing instead of being in the sunlight and playing with your friends or developing real skills.
38
774
26K
@SlurricaneH english has one of the largest vocabularies in the world and she didn't cite any of these studies by name or even define what complexity is in the context of linguistics. she just said a bunch of things with confidence and it makes it seem like she's right. powerful BSing here.
63
294
24K
thinking about that time when i underwent my first colonoscopy and the anesthesiologist was like "alright so i'm gonna give you some propofol to knock you out. it's the same drug that killed michael jackson but don't worry i know what i'm doing" and i was like "what".
68
1K
23K
what is it about the suburbs that makes people so mentally ill and paranoid.
201
1K
22K
there's actually scientific evidence that using corporal punishment against children makes them much more likely to engage in domestic violence against their future romantic partners. why do you think so many abusers are like that.
70
2K
21K
descriptions don't do justice to how evil this dude is and how much he hates republicans lmfao.
52
252
18K
@RepJimBanks I appreciate your naked honesty about the predatory recruiting tactics the military uses and how they are undermined by investment in our people.
5
510
16K
i love blaming people for being lonely. it's your fault. entirely.
You don’t have community because you aren’t a good community member. You don’t host events, you don’t know how to cook, you don’t know how to dance, you don’t know how to sing, and you aren’t doing anything to learn. You can’t tell stories or jokes.
68
801
17K
you thought you saw garrison at his horniest when drawing AOC or kamala Harris. you thought wrong
254
774
15K
i love landlords. there's no hot water in my bathroom whatsoever and i call the after-hours number to request an emergency work-order. my landlord asks if i need the hot water *right now.*. you simply cannot comprehend how much restraint i exerted in that moment. i love landlords.
52
544
16K
favorite biden moment during the campaign was when he said "inshallah" in a debate with trump without skipping a beat. as if he always said that when the occasion calls for it.
Remember when Biden said “listen here, Fat. ” to that guy.
11
445
17K
man, idk what it is about me that compels people to reveal some of the darkest elements of their lives. i don't have a problem with that, but it never stops being surreal to experience.
84
302
16K
the odds of dying in a car accident in your lifetime is 0.93%, or 1 in 107. odds of dying in a roller coaster, based on the most dangerous estimate i could find online would be. 0.00000588235%. or roughly 1 in 17 million
227
568
14K
yes we should encourage gender parity in a field that causes a lot of injuries, seriously contributes to climate change, and doesn't even pay that well to put up with this kind of bullshit.
26
269
14K
there's something grossly offensive about comparing ordinary people who don't know how to read academic papers to people who are physically disabled.
this is like saying people in wheelchairs never come to my store that’s only accessible by stairs, so why should i have to add a ramp.
97
589
14K
it would be really really funny if it turns out in 20 years that ozempic *doesn't* have serious, hidden negative side effects like its opponents low-key wish it does whenever they hear about a new benefit of using ozempic.
275
377
14K
our society really hates teachers man lmao.
we gotta talk more about how elementary school teachers run psychological social expeirments on their students that would be deemed too cruel to be done in a clinical setting
158
292
12K
unrelated fun fact: Einstein wrote a letter to a philosopher in 1915 in which he said that there was a very real possibility that had he not read David Hume, he would not have discovered the theory of relativity.
It always surprises me how gleeful non-STEM grads are to subject engineering students to a course load that's 25% humanities. The reverse is never true -- I don't think liberal arts colleges should subject students to Thermodynamics & E&M!.
68
958
12K
@NielsKnk i work in a high school and i have to say that it's extremely weird to think about the high school experience in this way, and even weirder that you think most other people do.
20
86
10K
i don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that widespread incompetence at teaching math fundamentals in elementary school is a big reason why so many people don't like math when they get older and feel uncomfortable with it as adults. this should be a big deal to parents.
85
873
11K
one of the funniest responses i've seen dozens of folks give to this take is "well if you can't explain this in a way i can understand you're not nearly as much of an expert as you think you are" & it's just like, a profoundly anti-intellectual thing to believe. childish thinking.
i think academics shouldn't have to dumb down their work for the sake of adults who aren't even interested in reading the literature anyway
184
626
11K
@eeberquist @w1feguy 14 or 18 would've worked for me but 6 means i need to somehow act convincingly like a 6 year old and also deal with the severe lack of autonomy. that fucking blows.
14
100
10K
@BigLunchMan the "are you fucking kidding me" is a great way to signal that you can't handle rejection lmao.
6
43
10K
i think we should ban all private schools, even religious schools, and we should also bring back mandatory bussing. that's the only way to enforce brown vs board of education correctly.
493
567
10K
i wish more people would ask questions about stuff like this. example: "why don't you ever hear about people getting sick from keeping a toothbrush in their bathroom?". there's a pretty obvious answer here.
91
294
10K
I've talked about this before, but approximately 1 in 5 American adults are functionally illiterate. it says it indirectly in the QT, but it's worth clarifying. that means they're not good enough at reading to complete many basic tasks in everyday life, like reading a recipe.
Did you know:. 168,811,352 Americans can't even read to an eighth grade level. That's 52% of the population. And out of that 52%, over half of those (just under 85 million) can't read to a fourth grade level. In contrast, 98% of Cubans can read to a 12th grade level.
78
1K
9K
supreme court precedent this, supreme court precedent that. there's precedent to just ignore the supreme court, and more people should know that.
37
1K
9K
@tinywienerbabe Sasha you should've stolen it and claim it as your own. what is he gonna do.
8
19
9K
one thing that kills me about people being so flippant and evil about casually starting WWIII with russia was that even reagan took the threat of nuclear war deadly seriously & actually worked with the soviets to reduce nuclear stockpiles. how are you gonna be crazier than reagan.
42
700
9K
it should be illegal to require references for jobs. very stressful to deal with and also pointless for employers because any competent person will figure out how to give you bogus but plausible references.
48
393
9K
personally, I'd rather see oil pipelines destroyed by explosives than soup on art but hey that's just me lol.
152
684
9K
if you're dunking on atheists and you're left of center at all, you may have lost the plot.
105
370
9K
it just fucking kills me inside how regularly people will say that the nukes were necessary to force japan to surrender when it's not at all consensus among historians. like good fucking grief we are so easily propagandized as a people it is fucking insane.
78
619
8K
the job title for this work is apparently called "roughneck". go look up how much they make and tell me this is worth it.
59
113
8K
i'm surprised nobody in the therapy discourse has mentioned that the idea that bad people can weaponize therapy for their own ends was something explored very deeply by The Sopranos.
32
496
8K
this is not faked i promise. i genuinely owe the united states government one dollar.
27
28
8K
weed abuse makes you very lazy, potentially, and affects cognition. both of which can be reversed fairly quickly if you stop. withdrawal is mildly uncomfortable. alcohol abuse can kill you, and so can withdrawal! . these are clearly the same.
35
195
8K
ideally, a college degree is supposed to make you smart enough to critically evaluate the past and realize that people have historically always hated farming because it fucking sucks. she wasted a lot of money on that degree to still think like this.
64
401
8K
I've seen many children at work and I've wondered if their parents wanted them.
4
125
7K
one of the wildest things i've ever learned about contemporary fatherhood is that only like 3% of dads have never changed a diaper. back in 1982, it was 43%.
One thing I can say is our generation of fathers is better than the generation before us.
46
492
7K
the ettingermentum dude trying to predict with 100% confidence that buttigieg will be the 2028 nominee rn as if he didn't experience the greatest twitter pundit fumble of all time yesterday. beautiful stuff. never change man.
86
197
7K
your kid will be alright because he comes from money. it's ok. no need to get extremely mad over this. find a bigger problem to complain about than your son needlessly asking for fee waivers and getting dunked on at the office please.
Y'all. I'm annoyed. My son asked at his school if there's a waiver for senior fees that cover his yearbook and graduation gown. Dude at the office said to him: "Didn't you just come back from summer in Italy?" . Now, why is a grown man pocketwatching my child?.
52
218
7K
i don't even really have a dog in the fight because i haven't smoked weed in like 6 months or something, and i've only ever partaken occasionally in it. it's just so obviously the case that alcohol abuse is vastly more destructive than weed abuse.
18
107
7K
i think it's pretty cool that no one can seem to agree as to whether or not cover letters are worth your time when applying for jobs.
107
182
7K
one of the funniest thing i've learned about joseph stalin was that he was a big fan of john wayne movies. the 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘴𝘵 thing i've learned about him is that he wanted to have john wayne *assassinated* because of his vocal opposition to communism.
44
367
7K
this website will be fucking insufferable on the 20th anniversary of 9/11. many main characters on the horizon--i can feel it in my soul.
32
279
7K
thinking about how ruth bader ginsburg attended a wedding a few weeks before she died. in a pandemic.
60
248
6K
not everyone is as pessimistic about these issues as you are. it's really that simple.
I don’t understand people who are having children right now. The planet is cooked, there’s a virus disabling and killing everyone, we’re fast-tracking fascism, and I don’t think anyone is going to stop any of it. Why would you put an another human into this world?.
55
279
7K
we don't advocate for the prohibition of most other elective surgeries, like, say, lasik eye surgery because some people regret undergoing them. why should we prohibit sex reassignment surgery then? haven't seen a good answer to this question.
71
370
6K
@realteaemoji video games are already seen as too expensive at $70, and you already have a plethora of hidden costs happening in new games these days. this will not happen because gamers would be obnoxiously, tho correctly, outraged over this.
32
53
7K
hi! if you're reading this, i'd like you to know that there are microscopic insects crawling on your eyelashes right now. there's also a limit set by the FDA on maximum allowed bits of dead bugs in your food because it is impossible to avoid insects. alright good night.
74
374
6K
transphobes are some of the funniest monsters known to humanity.
8
95
6K
twitter is a funny place sometimes. like i wish my mind was as simple and beautiful as OP's is.
32
128
6K
@adamjohnsonCHI this just makes me root for lina khan to block that kroger-albertons merger attempt even more. absolutely evil corporation.
12
103
6K
@punished_cait the absurdity the hate for Skyler takes a whole new dimension when you learn that the actress who played her actually got death threats IRL for it.
16
65
6K
even people at McDonald's deserve to get paid like $50 an hour for all the shit they do. my hot-ass take.
50
362
5K
some of the darkest parts of people's souls have shown themselves on here these past couple of days on this website specifically. people literally dunked on a right winger for losing his child to a mass shooting and pretend they didn't do it for clout.
57
296
5K
@mediumproof medical bankruptcy is something that just doesn't exist in the 1st world other than in america and ben just doesn't seem to know that.
5
65
6K
I urge everyone not to make fun of him for this because it's not his fault he can't read well. the education system failed him.
41
95
5K