Emi Nietfeld
@eminietfeld
Followers
9,271
Following
5,354
Media
190
Statuses
3,879
Journalist, author of "Acceptance," keynote speaker Words @nytopinion @theatlantic @NYMag @washingtonpost emi @eminietfeld .com
New York, NY
Joined December 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Adams
• 786509 Tweets
روما
• 330579 Tweets
Cardi
• 309425 Tweets
Mark Cuban
• 153220 Tweets
Beşiktaş
• 104751 Tweets
CDMX
• 91661 Tweets
Mustafa
• 70391 Tweets
ESPN
• 64355 Tweets
Avrupa
• 52732 Tweets
Oakland
• 51142 Tweets
Ajax
• 51016 Tweets
#AJAvBJK
• 38528 Tweets
Onana
• 38185 Tweets
Hoca
• 32436 Tweets
Julián
• 32373 Tweets
Daniel Ricciardo
• 28841 Tweets
Ken Klippenstein
• 26920 Tweets
Mert
• 24924 Tweets
الزمالك
• 20415 Tweets
クック先生
• 20131 Tweets
Celta
• 15079 Tweets
#GHGala4
• 15002 Tweets
Cengiz
• 13905 Tweets
للأهلي
• 13837 Tweets
Lanata
• 13617 Tweets
Zach Lowe
• 11758 Tweets
Semih
• 11668 Tweets
En Nesyri
• 10705 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
When Yale rejected me early, I believed it was because I said too much about my psychiatric history. I edited mental illness out of my applications and got into Harvard. Guilt ate at me for years; I felt like a liar and a cheater. Now I know I’m not alone.
46
515
3K
13 years ago I was homeless, about to spend the final weeks of summer break recovering from surgery on friends' sofas, sleeping in my car, and at a shelter.
Today I woke up in my own bed, made pancakes, and saw my book reviewed in the New York Times
90
94
1K
I'm so grateful to the
@nytopinion
for giving me the the chance to write about my love affair with my ex-employer, Google, the harassment I faced there, and how being a "great workplace" can make it even more excruciating to report mistreatment.
62
232
1K
It’s residency application season! ⏳After getting rejected from dozens (and into a few!) I recently had the chance to judge. Being on the other side of the Submittable taught me a LOT that will change the way I write my apps. 🧵
1. Don’t assume you need to be uber-published
16
99
540
As a teenager, I hated feeling reduced to buzzwords: "homelessness" "foster care" "mental illness."
I longed to tell my story in all of its complexity and beauty and humor.
Today ACCEPTANCE is finally out in the world, 13 years after gushing all of my plans to this reporter.
13
30
424
Handling mental health in college apps fairly means recognizing that "the same crisis that leads to an outpouring of support for a wealthy child might cause a foster youth to be sent to a locked facility, prescribed antipsychotics, and forced to transfer schools"
1
43
408
✨COVER REVEAL✨
Psyched to share the cover of ACCEPTANCE! out 8/2
@penguinpress
It's a memoir through foster care and homelessness, Harvard and Big Tech, about the stories we tell about ourselves to succeed and survive.
Oh- and it’s funny! 🙃
Preorder:
44
42
382
Told all my friends I will have MADE IT when I see my book in an airport
Here is ACCEPTANCE at J-F-freaking-K!
24
7
324
I’ve been working on this essay since 2018. It’s the most important thing I’ve written. I'm beyond awed by the students I interviewed. Thank you for your courage, vulnerability, and stigma-shattering. I'm honored to share your stories. This one is for you.
1
37
295
After getting rejected to every single residency I applied for... So thrilled I will be going to sewanee as a nonfiction fellow! I haven't screamed about something writing related in a long long time - so glad I still have it in me 💪🏻
30
4
277
8 years after starting to write Acceptance - it's in paperback! New queer cover, lower price, exhausted author.
I hope this book comforts struggling teens, informs well-meaning adults, and scandalizes suburban moms.
Please come out and celebrate before I sleep for 2 years!
12
20
199
Here's a gift link for folks hitting a paywall:
2
30
193
Much of the "quiet quitting" discussion makes my blood boil: Most people are not hustling to self-actualize. They’re hustling to survive.
So grateful to
@FortuneMagazine
and
@lestanberry
for giving me a chance to reflect:
41
22
165
One of the most painful parts of my situation at Google was being threatened that my boss could be fired if I talked to anyone.
I never realized that NDAs are exactly like that-- forever.
Great insight from
@IfeomaOzoma
and reporting by
@kari_paul
0
48
126
In 2017, an agency assistant found my query in the slush pile.
Three-and-a-half years later, that assistant is the editor for my debut memoir at
@penguinpress
I can't believe this is happening and can't imagine a better home for my words.
13
2
125
I've been so shocked by the response to my op-ed. I honestly didn't believe anyone cared.
I wasn't high profile. I wasn't advocating for change. I just wanted to do my job.
What
#Google
did to me wasn't extreme-- by every indication, it was the system working as intended.
NEW: In a letter Friday, several Alphabet workers ask Sundar Pichai to strip known harassers of direct reports and institute mandatory team changes. The letter follows
@eminietfeld
's allegations of harassment in a NYT op-ed this week
0
9
56
6
9
123
Galleys for ACCEPTANCE are here!!! 😭 It's finally starting to feel real, like maybe
@penguinpress
will actually publish this book 🤞🏻
Now I just need to wash my hair and keep my tongue in my mouth
16
4
133
Just gave my notice at Facebook, for the job that was just a job in my op-ed.
So grateful to all the people who shared their thoughts about loving work, so I could see how unhappy I've been.
And to 18-year-old me who learned to code so that, 10 years later, I could leave.
8
1
118
Thrilled that ACCEPTANCE is in such amazing company as one of Amazon's best books of 2022! 🤩
🎉🎉 Huge congratulations to
@eminietfeld
for Acceptance being named an Amazon Best Book of 2022!
1
1
4
23
6
114
Acceptance reviewed in print
@nytimesbooks
!!
Thank you so much
@jordan_kisner
for the close read and the wise analysis 🙏🏻
10
5
113
The first review for ACCEPTANCE is in... and it's ⭐️STARRED⭐️ from
@KirkusReviews
!
“A complex meditation on desperation, leveraging personal pain, and how the drive to achieve can be a gift and a pathology simultaneously."
I couldn't be more thrilled!
19
7
114
Love the chutzpah of this mourning dove who, instead of flying away when I opened my window, shoved her ass into my apartment.
6
4
110
Thanks so much to the admissions professionals who shared wisdom:
@BowdoinCollege
@drkatcohen
@WesttownSchool
Endless gratitude to
@eleanorbarkhorn
for sage edits and guidance in reporting,
@arielkaminer
+
@cassadyariel
for making it better, and
@nytopinion
for giving it a home.
2
5
104
Ever since older students helped me negotiate my first job, I've been on a mission to help women make $1m more.
Last night, I learned my friend BOUGHT A HOUSE with her extra stocks. Single female homeowner in Seattle. Every time I see this pic I tear up 💪🏼✨
5
2
81
Thrilled that Acceptance will be out in paperback 8.1.23 at a lower price- and she's cute! 😍
I dream of teens clocking this cover and sneaking it past the censors. I hope this book is the book I needed, and that I needed my parents, teachers, and drs to read.
Now let's party!
5
6
85
And huge thank-you to
@aprilaser
and
@CiCiAdams_
@NBCNews
for sharing the story that inspired this. And
@timnitGebru
,
@clairewaves
and so many others for speaking out.
2
16
81
I was named after a great aunt who had an unsafe abortion after being raped as a girl and then couldn't conceive.
My anti-choice parents always reminded me of this to say abortion is bad.
But instead my very name reminds of the importance of choice and safe, legal care.
2
1
83
Who else out there is happily estranged from one or more family members? 🙋🏻♀️For an essay, I'm looking for a quotes about the **wonderful** sides of saying goodbye. DM me or reply below 👇🏻! Thanks so much!
11
8
78
And if you're looking for an opportunity,
@writehedgebrook
(for women-identified writers) opens next week!
4
6
81
When I was 16, I wrote college apps while sleeping in the back of my rusty Corolla.
Getting in meant convincing schools I had "overcome" - while I was *still* sleeping in my car.
Here's what it taught me about our insane ideals of "resilience."
4
13
71
ladies if you need an ego boost just try to do some work at the tables at Bryant Park. Haven't been hit on in a solid year and now it's twice in 20 minutes.
Must be my cute laptop.
3
2
72
In "Self-Portrait as a Human-Interest Story" I write about
#fostercare
and
#homelessness
to
#Google
and
#Harvard
and interrogate how "resilience" narratives minimize the suffering of vulnerable youth.
"Statistically, it should have happened sooner: someone’s boyfriend or father, anyone, could have attacked you anywhere, in any airport or guest room. But here? Now? After all of that?"
@eminietfeld
4
22
65
9
18
71
SO honored that ACCEPTANCE is an
@amazonbooks
best book of August!! Very honored to be on this list with
@papergirlmacy
@RasheedNewson
@bellamackie
@justjuliawhelan
@AvaGlassBooks
!
Clear your calendars - there are too many great books this month!
6
5
75
Such a surreal surprise to see my
@nytopinion
essay on rowing in print!! 🥺💕 My teenage self would be a WRECK
8
1
76
Chills all over reading this
@RachelAviv
story about the former
#foster
youth stripped of her Rhodes Scholarship.
I can't breath-- so many elements of her story hit so close to home. They're par for the course for ANY high schooler with a difficult past 🧵
3
17
69
Ever run into your high school teacher expecting them to be 167 but they're actually basically your age?
3
1
76
My insurance paid out $50k in 12 months for PTSD and the injuries I got self-medicating with exercise.
Since writing about this for the NYT, I've been thinking a lot about access to care - and how it's so much more than just financial 1/🧵 (cw self harm, sexual assault)
4
15
66
8 years ago today Mr. Nietfeld and I went on our first "date" - a 13 mile run!
Luckily our relationship survived our transitions from serious athletes to regular people. I like him even better now that he no longer looks like a skinny bird who desperately needs a worm
5
0
62
Since it's a new year, I thought I'd re-introduce myself! I'm Emi (née Margaret Frances Nietfeld) and I love penguins, buying used furniture, and making funny faces when people try to take my photo.
4
1
69
Thank you
@eleanorbarkhorn
for giving me this opportunity-- a long-time dream-- and providing such wise, thoughtful edits. I learned so much from working with you and the team. And I'm honored to have had such bomb photos taken by the incredible
@kholoodeid
.
2
3
65
Some great wisdom I've gotten in response to my op-ed:
- Love your work instead of your workplace.
- Love your work, but love yourself more.
What are other, healthy ways to love your work without hating yourself?
10
4
64
I called out my husband's expert Facebook-post-writing skills in our wedding vows and now I remember why. I cried. Can he please blurb?
6
0
58
Kudos to the 16-year-old who sent me her resumé with the objective "supporting Emi Nietfeld's social media presence as an intern," and followed up with the note, "I look forward to working with you."
I would've hired her JUST for her email chutzpah... but peek this graphic!!😍
5
0
55
Just got my first reader note that made me cry: a 17-year-old who saw her journey in a book for the first time.
...Then an email from a high school librarian who wants to stock Acceptance but probably can't bc I wrote frankly about being 17. Happy
#BannedBooksWeek
ya'll! 🙃
4
6
53
Folks on other selection committees said they’ve turned down folks who seemed to have all the opportunities, in favor of someone who they might uniquely help. So apply before you feel ready! (and don’t assume you got rejected cuz you suck!)
1
1
55
🤯 ACCEPTANCE is on the front page of !
"Acceptance serves as a necessary corrective to what she notes is called ‘the gospel of grit’... an indictment of a society that only wants to hear from its most vulnerable when they exhibit post-traumatic growth."
5
2
55
buying my first non-Craigslist couch and I want to throw up, I’m so scared. No one tells you that even if you get a stable job, a home, a partner & all the money you need, the anxiety of a tenuous childhood doesn’t go away.
Now someone please tell me you love this sofa
13
0
55
Hi - I'm writing a piece for The Atlantic about fertility choices. Are you or someone you know:
- pursuing surrogacy?
- pursuing IVF for non-fertility reasons?
- taking a non-traditional path to parenting?
I'd love to chat! DM me/emi
@eminietfeld
.com Please share!
#journorequest
16
34
56
My heart breaks for all the teens who've faced discrimination and now have to try and prove it in their college essays.
In the same breath as you show admissions officers that you’re upbeat + winning, you have to convince them you’ve been harmed. Yet you're stronger for it! 1/
3
9
54
I learned I got into Harvard sitting at the Seattle public library. It was so special to read that passage
@ElliottBayBooks
and be in conversation with
@RoweReport
!
I feel so fortunate to meet such wonderful booksellers in these magical spaces ✨📚
1
2
52
If you care at all about tech, women, justice, caste, discrimination, please read Tanuja Gupta's goodbye letter to her team at Google.
0
18
51
Me, pre-pub: why do authors repost every single book photo?
Me, post-pub: I have not seen my book in the wild with my own eyes in 3 hours, therefore every bookstore has sent back all copies for pulping. I will never sell another book. My career is over.
5
0
51
Workplace harassment ends careers. Harassment at schools ends education. Shame on Harvard for giving a known harasser a slap on the wrist. And bravo to the undergrads and
@hgsuuaw
for organizing these walkouts.
1
16
54
Since this piece came out, I've received dozens of notes from men, mostly who appear white, describing how workplace harassment has affected them. Even if they were never victims in a situation, just witnessing it has a toxic affect. This is everyone's problem.
"As soon as my complaint with H.R. was filed, Google went from being a great workplace to being any other company: It would protect itself first," writes
@eminietfeld
.
3
9
31
0
1
46
Thrilled that
@AppleBooks
chose ACCEPTANCE as one of the
#BestBooks
of August!
The best part? This very cool graphic that matches the pink-and-purple tie-dyed backpack I got in foster care that's basically a character in the book
5
1
49
I grew up in a world where being gay was bad but being bi was worse. Teenage me couldn't imagine coming out
...or how amazing it feels to publish a book embracing bi, in the company of icons
@drjuliashaw
@AntoniaAngress
@jenerous
@RachelKrantz
Happy
#BiVisibilityDay2022
! 🌈
2
1
47
book lawyer asked if it was really accurate that I live in NYC with "my family."
how would YOU describe this assemblage of creatures??
3
0
45
Sleeping in airports -> my book in airports
2
2
46
For Teen Vogue, I'm writing a piece about the difficulties of explaining hardships to colleges. I'm hoping to chat with some fellow [former] foster youth, especially students of color, and also get their takes on affirmative action. DMs are open - thanks for sharing! 💞💞
4
26
49
ACCEPTANCE has a shiny new discussion guide and I'm obsessed! Book club questions, plus those for educators, students, health professionals and parents.
You can find it on my website under 'Book'. Hope you enjoy!!
4
2
48
I dreamed about missing a workout class and then I missed my workout class this morning, so I guess dreams do come true
4
0
49
Does anyone know someone who's great at making websites shine? Not so much web design, but making sure the copy is tight, calls to action are clear, etc. I'd be super happy for any referrals - please spread the word!
38
4
49
one week later I'm still hung over
book launch success or failure??
4
0
45
Such a gift to reconnect with friends who have been with me on this grueling publication journey -- and to be reminded of what my goals were a few years ago.
Please hold your friends accountable so they quit moving their goalposts!!!
5 years ago, over brunch,
@eminietfeld
casually mentioned that she’s working on a memoir. Today, she signed my copy of
#ACCEPTANCE
! This labor of love is beautiful & vulnerable. From foster care & homelessness to Harvard & Google, it challenges society’s fixation with resilience.
1
0
17
5
0
45
4. Be clear about why you want to attend *this specific residency* *now.* This is part ego stroking and part common-sense: if you and a res are well matched, you’re more likely to have an LTR, give them money, spread the word, and boost their profile.
1
0
43
While people see the rags-to-riches stories about teenagers who go from tough lives to the Ivy League, you rarely see the way those stories have to be packaged for an audience that demands perfect victims. No matter how hungry you were, you must have never stolen food. 7/x
1
10
44
One of the awkwardest part of publishing a book is asking famous authors to read your book 🙃
One of the most fun is hearing what they say! 😍
4
2
42
had a legit breakdown today: crying, texting my husband ten times in a row, decided I'm a failure.
Turns out my tea was caffeinated.
7
0
40
2. Don’t send in a 40 page sample! (Unless the application demands it.) I’d heard “the first sentence/paragraph/page is crucial” but I did not believe it until I was staring down a pile of reading 👀
1
1
43
THREAD Since my op-ed, so many people have reached out to me asking for guidance on how to share their stories of workplace mistreatment. Here are a few things that helped me:
1
12
40
For "why this place," specifics show you read the description 🙃. What books are in the library? Is there research assistance? Open studios/readings? A great alum community?
"Why now" is harder, but if there's a burning reason you need to finish ASAP, it's harder to say no
1
0
42
Every year, the newspaper articles about teenagers getting into 57 colleges floods me with memory about being that lauded child - so fragile and brief.
Very grateful to
@longreads
for publishing this exploration that helped me find the heart of ACCEPTANCE.
2
5
41
one of the best parts of publishing a book is running into so many people I never thought I'd see again. Like this girl from summer camp... have we changed at all?
2
1
45
I can't believe I've been married 3 years. I kept almost calling off the wedding because of hell at Google, but I'm so glad we didn't wait.
3
0
40
@ChenSwc2010
I totally agree - though as a teenager, I had a very hard time "playing the game." Going through that developmental stage of finding your identity and dealing with authenticity, pretending to be this certain person was extremely taxing
1
1
43
In college I walked onto the rowing team, hoping to obliterate myself. Unlike my old vices, training was praised instead of pathologized. But it came at a cost.
So grateful to
@nytopinion
for the chance to write about rowing, cutting and exercise as socially sanctioned self-harm
“I believed I’d found the cure for the depression and trauma that had plagued me for years: Start running and just don’t stop,” writes
@eminietfeld
.
2
0
10
2
7
41
Give a concrete goal for the residency that could not, given the author’s circumstances, get done at home on the sofa). (This could be a lie and I’d literally never know.)
3
0
40
how bad is it that I wrote a letter to a famous author including the line "your work has speaken to me"?
7
0
33
At 17, I won a Horatio Alger scholarship and was feted by Clarence Thomas, Rush Limbaugh, Lou Dobbs, and a bald eagle.
BOOTSTRAPPED by
@lisquart
helped me parse the absurd "overcomers' convention." I wrote about it
@TheAtlantic
in my 1st ever book review
4
7
39
For
@TheAtlantic
, I wrote about the grief of quitting an all-consuming job.
An NSA agent, a mom forced out during Covid, and a former nightclub manager shared the thrills of their intense work - and the post-Great Resignation crash none of us expected.
3
2
38
Most chillingly, Fierceton might have been fine if she hadn’t gotten involved in activism.
They'll put you on a stage as long as you’re eternally grateful, but if you agitate for change, they will blackmail you with the same hoops they made you jump through. 10/x
2
5
38
It means so much to finally have this book in the hands of the people who helped bring it into the world! 💞
If you're looking for a writing class, check out
@readandbreathe
(Michele Filagate's) workshop at Sackett Street. It led to my first lit mag essay, at ✨
@The_Rumpus
✨
I can’t wait to read
@eminietfeld
’s memoir! 💫💫💫 Emi took one of my
@sackettstreet
workshops several years ago.
1
1
12
3
1
38
🧵If you're applying to college this year or helping someone who is, here are my tips for disclosing
#mentalhealth
challenges:
1. You don’t have to disclose. Don't lie, but mental health is your own private business. You don’t owe anyone all the details of any health condition.
When Yale rejected me early, I believed it was because I said too much about my psychiatric history. I edited mental illness out of my applications and got into Harvard. Guilt ate at me for years; I felt like a liar and a cheater. Now I know I’m not alone.
46
515
3K
3
12
41
The best way to procrastinate writing is pitching other articles you will somehow one day write
7
0
40
I feel like every essay takes me 4+ years to write. So grateful to
@jsilerauthor
who helped me with a ~literary~ version of this back in 2019
@commofwriters
and nearly melted me with her kind journalist mom energy
3
2
36
The first page usually felt like enough to assess "the quality" by whatever subjective standard
(And I would have killed to read a story/essay with an arc instead of teasers for a book I won't get to finish!)
2
0
37
Feels like yesterday I was cutting up draft after draft of ACCEPTANCE, rearranging, looking for “the point," certain that there was no point and my life was devoid of any larger meaning.
And here I am, with two weeks to go, repeating the entire process for essays! 🙃
4
0
37
Did you quit a prestigious job during the Great Resignation but feel a sense of loss? (🙋♀️) Are you ready for something more intense again?
I'm looking for folks for a story for The Atlantic - slide into my DMs or email me at emi
@eminietfeld
.com TIA!
#journorequest
5
15
38
So grateful for the authors who took the time to blurb ACCEPTANCE despite everything going on in the world 💕
Still hasn't sunk in that some of my favorite artists (including the person who made me want to be a writer at 12!) read my book. They wrote such beautiful things.
0
0
35
Should be required reading for parents, educators, guidance counselors and most of all - admissions officers.
Current high school seniors - you are not alone.
3
15
35
I’m going to on my first residency to finish up edits for ACCEPTANCE 😬 The best part? No internet for a month! Wish me luck with the woods and the insects and the eery silence… 🤞🏻
2
0
33
tearing up reading the first mainstream review for ACCEPTANCE!
It feels so special to have the project that defined half my life read so closely.
Thank you
@laurenbittrich
and
@clereviewbooks
for your eloquent words and sharp take
"In breaking from the Cinderella-story convention of social mobility memoirs, Acceptance by
@eminietfeld
achieves exceptional candor and beauty." —
@clereviewbooks
0
6
17
1
5
32
Started reading Roxanna Asgarian's WE WERE ONCE A FAMILY at 4 am and didn't even consider going back to bed until I'd torn through the whole damn thing.
What epic, important reporting on child removal and its deadly consequences -- wilder than any fictional dystopia.
5
7
33
When I was a teenager in residential treatment in 2007, I:
- wasn't allowed to wear "boys" shirts
- had my underwear thrown away and replaced with "appropriate" panties
- wasn't allowed to read books featuring trans or queer characters
2
3
34
Fierceton’s professor wrote: “I cannot avoid the sense that Mackenzie is being faulted for not having suffered enough. She was a foster child, but not for long enough. She is poor, but she has not been poor for long enough. She was abused, but there is not enough blood.” 5/x
1
6
33