just another girlie
@ebitdagirliee
Followers
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Following
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Media
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just living out my zillennial dreams and trending towards early career burnout
Joined June 2024
Me, a 25 y/old professional, telling the CEO of our portco that I need them to send me the numbers immediately
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perfect example of private equity ruining everything. many thanks to Apollo for acquiring Vail back in the day. now the ski world in the states is ruled by a duopoly that can do whatever they so please. I hate being at the whims of big snow
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@netcapgirl #3 is tried and true and I simply cannot rewire my brain at this point. In too deep!.
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Crazy how in PE you get a two hour training session one time on what to look out for in NDAs. And then you somehow find yourself in arguments with lawyers who went to school for 3 years learning how to most effectively fight you.
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What they don’t tell you about finance jobs (IB, PE, PC) is that you don’t get educated on allocating your own money. In fact, you are banned from selling/buying individual stocks due to MNPI. No, I can’t help you pick your stocks just bc I work in finance. I’m 100% in the S&P.
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just bought my ikon pass. need to let my monthly budgeting app know that this expense should be capitalized and amortized through May (my final ski day).
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One time during my banking years we were page flipping and my MD stopped suddenly on the deal team page. Looks at the phone number listed under my contact info. And is like: “I will pay you $5k for that cell number. It’s so cool”.
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company I’m diligencing has a finance dept that uses Apple computers (not windows). about to let my boss know this is an immediate pass.
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Our Department of Health and Human Services secretary may not believe in vaccines. But, he certifiably believes in zyns ‼️
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The concept of having a name for a deal always ends up being so cringe. Like why the fuck are 45 year old bankers calling this car wash rollup project strawberry??.
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Taking 2 turns off EBITDA multiple in this offer letter bc the VDR is on google drive.
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One of those days when ur MD asks to change growth to flat 6% and you have to explain the model is based on drivers not top down growth #s.
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My nightmares mainly fall into two categories:. 1) I suddenly become bald.2) I can’t get the EBITDA adjustments to tie out.
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@halfbackiso but I don’t like the casual skier. they clog up lift lines and are generally annoying on the slopes.
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@vanhaley_yt “It’ll be okay you just can’t see it now” … that is correct, I cannot see it now.
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Old banking team just sent a deck over that is 90% my work from when I was there 2 years ago. Don’t know if getting this being on the buy side is a new high or low.
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Subtle flex when you’re trying not to bring up where you work. Someone starts bragging about their “elite” fund or bank, which is not that elite. They ask where you work and get embarassed they were previously bragging.
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When asked whether I would bet my bonus on the numbers. No I wouldn’t. You are the one who told me to backsolve based on an IRR target.
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*claims to work in banking*. something isn’t adding up, flex!.
in the arena trying coffee for the first time since college
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like clockwork I’m slammed over a holiday weekend. and again, like clockwork, my family all chime in that I should switch careers. but guys, on a Tuesday a month ago I got out at 3pm!! I swear!.
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don’t you love how old investment banking MDs live rent free in your mind. i will be on my death bed still thinking about that one time they complained about my pages after I stayed up til 4am.
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wait until you turn 26, young grasshopper. everyone decides to start running full marathons.
why’d everyone turn 24 and just decide to start running half-marathons what’s going on.
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do boys post screenshots of hinge convos to flag to e-girls that they’re single or why is this all over my feed.
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Boys secretly love it when you warm up your freezing cold feet on them
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major upside of having 0 female co-workers is you can sit on your phone in the bathroom for however long you’d like and no one notices.
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I love when bankers send a message to the zoom chat during a management presentation being like “sorry, I have another call now, will drop and catch up with you all later”. Sir, it’s 3:17pm and this MP started at 3:00pm; I would bet my life savings you don’t have another call rn.
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Private equity rollups of family owned businesses are a net positive for society
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China being able to cut the medal count in these ~creative~ ways resonates with me. Just like when I try every alternative to add-backs before settling on the final adjusted EBITDA.
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The banking wine and dine culture is pretty hilarious. Thanks for this free 20 oz steak and 2 bottles of Bordeaux. I guess you can now join the bake-off.
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Shoutout to the 1,000+ people who follow me despite the fact that I refuse to post 1) MNPI or 2) boob / e-girl pics. Not sure what keeps you around, but you’re a real one.
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Pretty unbelievable how ~25% of CEOs seem to have failed upwards. Wish someone would teach a masterclass on this skill.
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Gm to everyone except the intern who put an 8:30am catch-up chat on my calendar.
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Realizing the potential EBITDA uplift when the target’s management team is expensing their private jet trips for vacations on the company. Me: 1, bankers: 0
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born to nap. forced to model businesses that are crap.
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Can erewhon pls come to nyc already. I really wanna see all the west village marketing girlies lose their goddamn minds on social media…. … and I also want a Hailey Bieber smoothie.
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When I get asked to model in revenue synergies I just wonder why we haven’t passed on the deal yet. If we’re banking on revenue synergies to boost returns, there are way bigger issues at hand.
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When I left nyc two years ago everyone was always minimum ~30 mins late . Now everyone all of the sudden is always on time and I’m the late one?.
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@zestular a lot.
Realizing the potential EBITDA uplift when the target’s management team is expensing their private jet trips for vacations on the company. Me: 1, bankers: 0
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@middlemarketmac Damn when he doesn’t get a return that’s gonna have been a VERY expensive snow cone.
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I wish @MTA would revert back to metro cards instead of credit card tapping. I would like to be able to easily identify the tourists and the summer interns by their inability to properly swipe.
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Dudes throwing shade as if they don’t rock their JPM banker bags and Apollo peter millar quarter zips at every damn chance.
KKR hat to an OSU bar during OSU v IU. This guy def provides diligence lists at 8pm on a Friday.
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One of the love island dudes just said “gotta do my DUE DILIGENCE on her”. WHOMST FINANCE BOY ON LOVE ISLAND.
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Kids these days don’t blackout the same. Won’t ever taste the OG 4loko. It’s a shame how times have changed.
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Everyone always talks about “exploring your passions”. Well cool, I found my passion and it’s delivering SH value to LPs.
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God I forgot how much I love NYC. Smoke shop guy had 11mg euro zyns in flavors I only could’ve dreamed about.
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@the_P_God Anyone who has time to post long rants on WSO is clearly not on the desk yet or their grind isn’t as intense as they’re quoting.
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the one thing tech and finance people can agree on. HOW ANNOYING VCs ARE.
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After hearing all of the Twitter discourse these past couple months, I have formally decided to leave SF for NYC. I am ~listening and learning~. Thank you to my haters who are just my motivators.
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Smoking a cig outside after getting kicked out for vaping
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Getting the bf to rewatch gossip girl with me (his first time). Him 10 mins in: “wait so which one of them is gossip girl, I missed it”. Babe, relax, you got over 100 episodes to watch before you find out.
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Crazy how we were all closing down dive bars holding Red Bull vodkas last year and now everyone is getting ENGAGED? So now we all drink espresso martinis and prefer jazz bars? Big sad.
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Latest version of Outlook prompts me to not send emails after 5pm or before 9am. I’m sorry but this WLB agenda has gotten a little out of control.
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imposter syndrome follows me around like a ghost (not just on Halloween, but all year round). at what level of seniority does imposter syndrome subside?.
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I love asking male co-workers for one of their logins bc without a doubt their password will be something along the lines of: LALakers!2020. And then they just act 0% embarrassed by this password.
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Honestly if someone could figure out AI handling cap table math, I may lose my job. But. At least I wouldn’t have to do this anymore.
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Strongly opinionated about P&L presentation. Actually pisses me off when people present expenses as positive and subtract them. Can we please call a spade a spade and make them negative numbers?.
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I miss living in a city where the temperature was the same most days. Why did NO ONE warn me that it was cold af this am. Do people actively look at weather apps every morning?.
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Listening to the debate as background noise while I push logos around a page . chat, I think we’ve hit a new low.
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I wish Twitter had an area where you could click on someone’s profile and see all of the activity between you (likes, comments, etc.). If I beef with someone how am I supposed to remember what sassy thing they said 2 months ago?. Does this already exist?.
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got a LinkedIn dm at 3:09am about meeting for drinks…. dating apps / twit / linkedin. 🤝.weird unsolicited DMs at strange hours
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Bf: “do you like this razor brand”. Me: “no”. Bf: “why, you don’t like their financials from prior look?”. He know me fr fr.
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Gotta admit, against all odds, funemployment turns out to be pretty fun.
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To Crowdstrike’s credit, they are making the “Summer Fridays” dream a reality for many. Computer doesn’t work? Well that work can wait until Monday thanks to Crowdstrike.
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On month two of having X and caught myself replying back “real” to my co-workers when they complain or rant about something on Slack. Brain rot has commenced.
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The biggest thing look out for when interviewing is for whether your future boss seems social or not. Land yourself an antisocial boss and all of the sudden he’s excited for you all to be “digging into the data room” for fun on a Saturday night.
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Best work week of the year is when manager review portals are open. Bosses rlly think if they protect your weekend one time you’ll forget the other 51 weekends of the year when filling out feedback.
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can someone just permanently fix the issue where datarooms won’t let me download files with namepaths that are too long??. or can management teams stop naming files unnecessarily long names like: compensation_john_smith_2024_10_30_8:01pm_final_for_project_strawberry_vF.
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Twitter is crazy bc I’ll see these three posts in a row. 1) screenshot of Bloomberg page.2) pic of a massive canister of whippets.3) trump meme. Going through the TL is an emotional rollercoaster.
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@the_P_God “Sorry MD, I missed our first three hours of meetings because I couldn’t make it past barricade.“.
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Seeing these 100 strips I created is making me eternally grateful to have switched careers lmao.
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Wonder what failure rate would be for startup CEOs on the $10 depreciation question 🤔.
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Girls will sit at the hair salon for like 4 hrs getting all sorts of balayage and treatments for $650. Co-workers will walk by them at work the next day and not notice a thing. Boys will show up w their $14 crew cuts haircut once a month and get flooded with compliments and dabs.
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Me going off video for 20 seconds during the MP to refuel
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girl next to me on flight home from 2 week vacation is on bamsec . ma’am you’re adding to my scaries, please stop.
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Linen should be accepted all year round. Not accepting this “no white or linen post Labor Day” propaganda.
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yooooooo.
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Bf just asked if pickleball is an Olympic sport 😭.
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tech twitter is crazy. someone will make a joke about y combinator and it’ll get 12K likes. I bet $100K+ has been made in Twitter payouts on y combinator tweets.
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Getting comments on Saturday at 5:30pm to switch the order of footnotes is actually sending me. I wanna quit my job.I wanna quit my job
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anyone else notice the marketing on the NYC subway is either for trendy pet food companies or new dating apps?. what happened to the Celino & Barnes injury attorneys? I miss them.
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Life is a nightmare without a work husband / wife. Currently accepting applications.
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My previous work husband ❤️ just sent me one of my tweets (not knowing it was me). Why do I feel like I made it lmao. Also still accepting work husband / wife applications.
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