The etymology of disaster is made of the words ill and star. It aptly captures the nature of my existence.
I've learned that my struggles with depression are lifelong. And I am fighting until the end.
No matter what happens. I just hope that people know that I tried very hard.
Imam Nawawi died without marrying. Does that mean he sinned a lot? Does that mean that he sinned more than people who got married?
Nobody knows the divine reasons why something happens or not happens.
I hate people who speak on behalf of God.
Polygamy is not an achievement. Wives are not trophies to be paraded.
In Malaysia, 2 out of 5 first wives are forced to find a job to support the family after the husband married to the second wife.
Most men get married secretly in Thailand. What's so brave about that?
This is why as adults, we need to listen to our children and teenagers. Don't dismiss their concerns. Matters that seem small to us, might mean the world to them.
As a society, we still have a long way to go when we still laugh at a video of a kid who's running away from home.
The most painful words are not told by strangers.
They are words told by our partner, friends, and families.
Our words mean a lot to people closest to us. Never abuse that power to hurt.
We should emphasize "anak adalah amanah" more than "anak adalah rezeki".
The responsibilities of parents are so heavy.
It's better to be scared we'd pass down our unresolved traumas to our children than to be overconfident that we'd make great parents.
Sampai sekarang saya masih dengar ceramah bahawa anak yang ramai akan membawa rezeki. Ya saya setuju tu. Tetapi kapitalisme tak akan menghadiahkan rezeki sewenang-wenangnya dan ini tidak disentuh, diceramahkan atau diajar malah ditunggang pada orang orang yang naif
Malay women don't even mind eating at mamak's.
Malay men get dumped ONCE, and they'll call women gold diggers just because they spent some money going out on dates.🤭
Bila diri sendiri bertuhankan nafsu, jangan salahkan fitrah, kononnya semua kaum lelaki macam kau.
Wanita tutup aurat nak cari keredhaan Tuhan, bukan sebab lelaki macam kau.
Kalau tutup litup pun terbayang, sila pergi terapi.
Setiap inci tubuh wanita boleh mendatangkan syahwat, jika bertutup litup menutup aurat pon masih boleh bayang apa mereka nak bayang.
Nafsu lelaki memang sebegitu, sebab itu Islam kata perempuan itu seluruhnya aurat, tak perlu diperlihatkan.
Cuba tahan nafsu dari post selfie.
This is a "fauxpology".
The analogy: A person who slapped you, apologized cos you are 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗽. Not because of 𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 you.
It's not a real apology cos:
1. They are not sorry for what they did
2. They blame you for feeling hurt
I hate doing this, cos it shifts the responsibility to women when men are the perpetrators.
I would urge angry men to go see therapists.
But since a lot of domestic violence cases is going around, I'm writing a thread.
Here are 7 signs ⚠️ to look out for in abusive partner:
Kalau jadi bapak, ajar anak lelaki jangan merogol. Sekarang ni ada 7 bapak tak guna, sebab tu ada 7 perogol.
Nampak sangat masalah kat sini bapak-bapak tak guna dan anak lelaki tak guna. Tak ada kena mengena dengan mangsa. Siapa-siapa pun boleh jadi mangsa.
@redzuanNewsMPB
Jaga anak perempuan ni lg mencabar dari jaga kambing 1 kandang. Tak di halang, jd mcm ni. Di halang karang memberontak jugak. Bagi la didikan agama yg utuh pd anak2 anda.
This is what happens when you don't respect women. Or at least don't respect women enough.
It's a Freudian slip as he scrambled to be funny. The only reason he called her a "used car" is because he thinks of women as objects to be used. Disgusting.
A few months back, there was a viral tweet about a man who said he'll force his future wife to learn to cook from his mom. The man wants to eat dishes that taste EXACTLY like his mother's cooking.
Malay men don't want a wife. They want another mother to take care of them.
I've seen first hand how a rape joke affected a person.
When I was studying in HELP, there was an asshole who told a rape joke loudly in the class.
It made a girl cry and exit the class.
The lecturer made a PSA after the incident, forced the guy to apologize.
Neelofa is in the spotlight again.
I saw people questioning her for "still drawing attention", that wearing niqab is "pointless".
If you think that she should act in certain ways for wearing the niqab, then you're no different from the people who judge women by what they wear.
If your dad never lifted a finger to help your mom doing chores like washing the dishes, you don't have to follow his footsteps. Be better.
Be a king to a queen, not a king to a servant.
You are a poor communicator if you misread friendliness as romantic interest.
It's fucking selfish to ask people to stop being friendly just to accommodate your low EQ.
What I see is a society full of negligent fathers who failed to educate their sons to respect women.
And men who don't hold their friends accountable for being inappropriate in online spaces.
Check our friends. Kalau ada yang perangai hauk, lepuk dan basuh sedikit.
In a relationship, your words weigh heavier, have bigger impacts on your partner. I've seen men who abuse such privilege to completely destroy their partner's self-esteem by withholding validation. It's manipulative control.
DON'T EVER abuse your partner who seek your approval.
No woman had ever felt safer just cos men uttered the words "Stay safe".
The best way a man can protect women is by teaching other men to respect women, to treat them as equals.
Men. Start making your social circle safer. Educate.
Lawak poligami tak kelakar sebab ramai wanita dan kanak-kanak tertindas bila lelaki bermadu.
Bila kita melawak pasal benda yang orang perempuan takut, seolah-olah kita menidakkan (invalidate) perasaan dorang dan tak menghiraukan mudarat bermadu.
Honestly.
Men who want their wives to sendukkan nasi grew up with their mothers doing everything for them.
Semua benda mak buatkan.
They were so dependent on their moms. They fantasize about maid-like servitude in marriage cos it allows them to regress into a spoiled child.
As a man i never expect my wife to sendukkan nasi or buatkan kopi sbb aku ada tangan kaki nak pi buat sendiri tapi serious ke perempuan zaman sekarang tak boleh disuruh langsung? Pihak wanita jawabbb
Do you watch tv series with subtitles, even when you understand the language?
Do you often need people to repeat what they just said?
Do people often tell you to lower your voice cos you suddenly speak loudly?
Well, you might have central auditory processing disorder (CAPD).
The first wife lives with her 3 mothers-in-law. She was the one who did the marriage proposal. She must've been pressured to feel inadequate by her in-laws.
No woman deserves to be madu-ed. To feel that she's not good enough. To hide their pain behind a smile.
The answer is simple. He's not afraid of losing you. He thinks that you'll stay in the relationship no matter how he treats you.
Effort and attention are the currency of love. If he doesn't pay the rent, kick him out of your heart. 💁♂️
We don't degrade working moms. We don't shame stay-at-home mothers. We respect their decisions to choose what's best for their children.
Respect moms who sacrificed their careers to take care of their children. Respect moms who sacrificed time with their children to go to work
8K people judge women based on what they wear and think it's funny. Universities have more women than men. Have you seen their grades and OOTDs?
They've been reading books and serving looks. They are well-educated AND sexy.
Women keep slaying. Bitter men stay bitter. 🤧
If you ever feel that your partner is too clingy, you are not the right person for them.
A lot of men don't get this. But some women can be very independent, yet still be clingy as a partner. Manage your expectations before you proudly claim that you're okay with clingy.
The fact that this got 11k RTs and 7k likes is stressing me out. 💆♂️
The guy literally objectified his own daughters and called vagina an evil organ. Daughters are not commodities to be groomed for marriage. Learn some goddamn respect or don't get married.
KAU KENE ADA ANAK POMPUAN DULU BARU TAU APA ITU ERTI MENJADI BAPAK.
Haha. Anak first aku adalah jantan. Ingat lagi betapa eksaitednye aku time dia keluar, yeah skang aku sudah boleh di gelar bapak. Well, rupa2nya kepala bapak kau! Belum lagi bro.
It's easy to say "Just leave" or "Find someone new".
But some of us have abandonment issues. It's hard to think that we deserve better when we don't even think that we deserve anyone.
The feeling of not being good enough. No one should experience this kind of pain.
There are two types of men.
Those who wish for a world where women are covered from head to toe cos they can't control their dicks. So they impose on women.
Those who wish for a world where women can feel safe no matter what they wear. So they push other men to respect women.
The next time you want to blame what women wear for the harassment that they get.
Just remember that you are actually DEFENDING these kinds of vile men.
Here's an idea. Instead of mandating a useless pre-marriage course filled with sexist jokes. All bride-to-be has to undergo a psychiatric evaluation to assess for any anger issues and violent tendencies that could lead to domestic abuse.
Body dysmorphia is real. Just because we don't perceive them as fat, doesn't mean that they feel the same way. Telling people with distorted body image they are not fat won't help them. But encouraging body positivity could. We can all be kinder with our words.
She was 3 years old. How early girls need to be told to "be safe"? WE need to make it safe for them.
Do you think rapists respect females? Rapists are misogynists.
Don't let ideas that oppress females spread.
This is why I speak up, and everyone should too.
'Cepat koyak' AKA 'You're too sensitive' is a common gaslighting phrase used by assholes.
You're an adult. Be responsible of your own conduct. Please don't force others to accommodate your lack of professionalism and improve your emotional regulation at work.
According to research, less tolerant couples who constantly repair tiny annoyances have longer-lasting relationships. Compared to couples who are more patient of minor issues but keep things bottled up.
That's why allowing some space to complain about each other is important.
Kenapa ye aku baca pun aku dah rasa penat? 😂 Ni mesti kakak ni taip sambil terbaring tersadai atas lantai sambil pinggang dia lenguh sebab baru mop rumah. Rehat kejap sebab jap lagi nak kena sidai baju pulak 😂😂😂
I think that everyone secretly hates me no matter how good they are to me. I get a bad feeling when something goes well. Sorry for being an annoying person. 😔
Nearly 50% of marriages in Malaysia end up in a divorce due to money problems.
Gambling your future away on a coin flip is not "brave".
Rejecting poor men doesn't make women any less great nor less brave. Poor men can't afford to have ANY opinion on any women. PERIODT. 💅
My first suicide attempt was when I was around 9 years old. My mother decided that it was a good idea to pacify my discontents by maintaining a long term lie that I was adopted.
Adults' lies could traumatize children in ways that you could never imagine.
We romanticize men to bottle up feelings and wonder why men are 3 TIMES more likely than women to commit suicide.
Also, the narrative "they pretend they don't care, but they do" only encourages victims to stay longer with their abusers.
🗣️ Normalize men expressing themselves!
Cigarettes are haram too. But you know they'll never give out the same amount of energy. 🙄
This kind of fake outrage and false victimhood only works for West Malaysians. Sabah and Sarawak are too religiously tolerant to even be bothered about this.
Because I saw the misery and regrets of non-sekufu couples.
When you're not sekufu, it means that one of you settled for less and needs to compromise.
People tend to overestimate how much they're willing to sacrifice. At one point, it all becomes unsustainable.
I wrote a professional response to IP theft allegations on behalf of Vivy Yusof. I think she should hire me instead of coming up with fauxpology on Instagram. Haha. 😆
Our education system includes 11 years of the English language. What does "acah BI" means? Pretending to be proficient in English than they actually are?
People actually use English because it's concise and to interact with a more global audience.
"Men are protectors of women" is a scam.
Because women need to be protected FROM men.
The only way men can truly protect women is by educating other men to respect women and to hold other men accountable.
A Chinese acquaintance told me she was harassed by a Malay client. He kept asking if she's "open-minded". And kept saying that he knows that she's "naughty".
I made a guess, looked at her phone and I was right.
The reason was cos he saw that she had Telegram installed. 🤦
Hmm... An attempt to run away from home shouldn't be taken lightly.
No matter how trivial the reasons might be to us as adults. To them, those reasons are valid enough to abandon the security of having food and shelter.
Treat children seriously on serious matters.
Men should pay attention to how hypervigilant a woman is on average.
They're already doing way more than your unsolicited "pencegahan" and sacrificed a lot to be safe.
Let's create a safer world by educating the men in our circle and holding each other accountable.
To every girl yang naik grab balik rumah. Jangan sesekali drop betul2 depan rumah. Drop kawasan jauh sikit. Before naik terus ss send to family group details driver and update setiap masa. Kalau boleh video call. Before naik grab deal sesiap dengan siblings utk angkat kol.
@samruzone
@qianxing_
Most of us have a good fashion sense. We just don't have the money to execute the looks that we want.
All of us can only wish we can afford our *actual* fashion sense.
@ojamoja
I didn't agree with her as well. But we shouldn't laugh at her. Some people don't have the privilege that we have to overcome their ignorance.
We're all mentally spent during this restricted movement. Before we tweet anything, it's best that we put on our empathy cap.
@anas_cik
Nak study kat McD boleh je. Tapi pandai-pandai la pilih waktu yang sesuai.
Jangan la sampai nak suruh orang lain ikut kehendak korang. Jangan la bolot ruang sampai pelanggan lain takde tempat nak duduk makan.
This is the consequence of a culture that shames young women for having unprotected sex instead of educating them. A shame so immense, they'd rather throw away another life.
As a society, we need to show empathy and acceptance to pregnant teenagers, not shun them.
Bayi lelaki yang masih bertali pusat dijumpai dalam tong sampah hadapan Kedai Speedmart Pandan Indah, Ampang pada awal pagi, Sabtu.
Bayi telah dibawa ke Hospital Ampang dan kini bayi berada dalam keadaan baik. Sebarang maklumat boleh terus ke IPD Ampang Jaya.
@501Awani
Stop scaring women to give up their online freedom.
Your ideal world where women don't post any pictures suggests that you can't control your dick.
Men's eyes and women's eyes are biologically the same. Men who believe otherwise are disgusting perverts like you.
@malissaali
Sifat-sifat perogol:
Tak bertanggungjawab, taksub jadi maskulin, pentingkan diri, lihat perempuan sebagai objek, lemah kawal emosi, suka kawal orang lain, percaya lelaki lebih hebat.
Cara ajar budak lelaki supaya tak merogol berdasarkan psikologi perogol. 👇
Let's be clear. This is victim-blaming. And victim-blaming contributes to rape culture.
Victims often lose their sense of autonomy. She shamed her offender to take back control, to make others back off. So she doesn't get any more of those dms.
Is that so hard to understand?
Nothing manly about using a child to hold your placard. It's also not manly to use false equivalence fallacy to disrespect women's autonomy to practice her faith at her own pace.
@nurmeownur
Fewer efforts don't mean lazier.
Typical gen X dinosaurs. They stay in the office until 5 doing nothing, but they badmouth people who finished their jobs and go home early. The concept of efficiency is alien to them.
Nah. It doesn't matter what women wear when the problem is men.
I recall there was a tweet about some Malay men superimposing their coursemates' well-covered pictures onto nudes.
What we need to do is to hempuk our hamsap friends, teach them about respect, decency and consent.
Girls,
Please take care of yourself.
Kurangkan post gambar2 yang tudung2 pendek nampak dada semua.
Tbh, sekarang ramai kaum kaum aku yang sampah.
Just based on picture pun dorang boleh masturbate.
Sumpah sampah.
Kawan perempuan aku ada cerita....
Cooling off is good. But don't sleep on your anger.
Study showed that memory consolidation happens when you sleep. Suppressing anger is harder after you wake up.
Never go to bed angry.
Talk it out over food cos you might be 'hangry'. 🍗
A few weeks back there was a tweet saying that hijab doesn't protect women. It will just change the demographics of the predators that you will get, and I'm inclined to agree. Hijab is a fetish for some men.
I have an anecdote to share about men objectifying women in hijab.
The line between abuse and love is clear. Seeing abuse as love is trauma.
Ever wonder why it's hard for domestic abuse victims to leave their abusers?
Because they were abused as kids and people tell them it's love.
🗣️Stop blurring the lines. Stop romanticizing abuse.
Women, pay attention. If a man ever "joked" about polygamy, he's thinking about it. You can already see one in the reply.
If he is willing to hurt your feelings for his own amusement, what makes you think he won't hurt your feelings for his selfish desires?
TW
One of the top comments was "The fact that she's laughing about it shows that she is a patient person 😂"
Society always frames tolerating abuse as a virtue and it disgusts me.
The people who are so vocal when women use profanity are also the same people who defend people who make rape jokes. 🙃
"Maybe he doesn't have a sister" isn't a valid excuse to make rape jokes.
Defending rape jokes makes you the same as the assholes who told the jokes.
@Jackvladamir
@nonahilang
She seemed like she had a really tiring day, she didn't even have time to keep her things organized. Maybe something big happened.
You should at least acknowledged her feelings before your 1 line response. Just my 2 posen.
Your experience as an abuse survivor doesn't validate your bad advice.
Romanticizing suffering enables abusers.
Rationalizing abuse will only lead to victims blaming themselves, feeling guilty. They'll assume that God is punishing them, when they are completely innocent.
@zakariamon
Hey if you're reading this,
My whole life hadap family gaduh, teruk smpai pukul & ibu pernah nak bunuh diri. Smpailah skrg. Aku faham tak kuat, sakit. Tapi ustaz aku pernah pesan teruk mcm mana pun dlm rumah. Jgn pernah lari. Ada hikmah semua tu berlaku.
✅Liking porns on Twitter to "save them as references to do it with future halal soulmate".
✅Ironically use "Imam Syafie pun kalah dengan orang jahil".
✅"Jaga aib" culture that silences victims and protects abusers.
Basically just a bunch of ignorant "penunggang agama".
According to statistics, one woman is raped every 35 minutes in Malaysia.
The majority of rapists are someone the victims know. So, rape jokes from close friends/family are even scarier and definitely NOT OKAY.
Be a decent person. Don't defend rape jokes.
Some men in the replies refused to believe that women would pick a guy with a Perodua over a guy with a BMW.
We only have ourselves to blame if we value ourselves based on what car we drive.
From my experience, women are more attracted to men who can cook fancy food. 🧑🍳
“Tak kesah dia bawa kereta apa pun, kalau i nak dengan dia, i nak je dgn dia, Tak kesah!”
“As long as he can take care of my heart, is okay”
“sweet , romantic”
ayat ni terpakai lagi ke untuk hubungan kearah serious?
Credit - Jodoh Finder
There are several things to unpack here. To every Malay Muslim man out there.
Telegram is a messaging app, not a porn app.
Having it installed doesn't mean that the person watches porn. Normal people use Telegram to communicate.
Keeping your relationship private doesn't reduce the chance that someone will "steal" them from you. Loyalty is about trust, not control. Not even marriage will stop your partner from leaving/cheating if they want to.
If a man tells you you're "limited edition" just for having eyebrows, he's low effort.
Please have some self respect and not let men value you by your eyebrows.
Don't let men define what makes you special.
What I picked up from talking to old people. The most fucked up thing about him is he really broke the spirit of good people with his power abuse.
They gave up fighting corruption and stopped voting.
Still have some people saying, "Sejahat mana pun dia, dia tetap Islam". 🥴
Oh. So kena bising dan "campur masyarakat" la baru tak terkejut? 🙄
Being quiet and keeping it to ourselves are not bad qualities for you to make such contrast.
Stop being so shocked. Introverts are awesome. PERIODT.
Kalau senang sangat jaga anak lelaki, kenapa ramai yang jadi perogol?
Mengaku je la ramai bapak lepas tangan tak didik anak lelaki. Tak payah nak cakap jaga anak perempuan susah.
Women struggle to exist in public spaces because the burden of men's gaze is unfairly put on them.
Men struggle to stop controlling what women wear because they project their own lack of self-control as women's lack of modesty.
Romanticizing quantity rather than quality of friends.
It truly is an extrovert world.
I'd rather have one very close friend than a dozen barely-friends.
Men don't suddenly become stingy after marriage. They hide and frame their selfishness as "putting family first".
"Bukan kedekut. Utamakan keluarga sendiri sebelum kahwin" is a lie.
If he's gonna marry you, shouldn't he start practicing prioritizing you?
Too many women stay in broken marriages. Kononnya "for the sake of the kids". 🙄
So. Whenever I see a woman with children filing for a divorce. I will applaud her bravery and wisdom.
Cos she knows that a conflict-free household is the best environment for her children.
We could never know victims. They might be our friends, our classmates, our colleagues at work.
That's why we have to watch our words.
Cos they could cause deep emotional pain to some people.
Our ignorance could only be afforded with empathy.