Diabetic of Enlightenment
@dee_of_e
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incredible stuff happening over at the Kevin Bacon anniversary post
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Introverts hate small talk. They wanna dive deep. Share your lessons. Your purpose. Your secrets. The stories of your spiritual journey. Discuss psychology, philosophy, and meaning of life. The talk that connects the mind and nourishes the heart. Soul talk. That's what they want.
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being a landlord must kick ass you can just say whatever the fuck and make up numbers
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I made my summary assignment into an in-class open book quiz that students could write freehand without notes or laptops and they still managed to use AI to cheat. I’m getting terms appearing that don’t exist in the reading and full on quotations that aren’t in the text lol
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my student evals had the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen in them. “I didnt like how he pulled up a chair and sat down at our level during discussions because it was awkward”, “he fiddled setting up his PowerPoints” stffuuuuuu
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like I don’t even know how they pulled that off but it’s funny to be so addicted to cheating in what is literally the easiest assignment imaginable
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the rise of these Red Scare type fascist adjacent philosophy girls on here is really weird because I never see them make any philosophical arguments, it’s always just like “entering the Kantian-Deleuzian degenerate goon cave will not save u babygurl” ok thank you _YungEvaBraun_
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hey dude welcome to my place, i guess you could say it’s a bit of a man cave so help yourself to a limited edition peach twizzler
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it sucks to see such blatantly sanist takes coming out of the woodwork when the president’s rhizomatic (one may even say “queer”) performance, unassimilable to Western colonial logics of “sense” and “rationality,” may in fact open us up to new ways of understanding the Human
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my cousin in religious studies sent me this article title
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damn, my Jewish mother was born in a displaced persons camp to parents whose town is no longer on the map because of the nazis and it never occurred to us that Israel is anything other than a racist colonial power, sucks to be you though!
I never thought I would say this. As a Jewish American. As a descendant of a holocaust survivor. As a person who loves Israel. But I believe it’s time to stop sending Israel arms and aid until Netanyahu is removed from power.
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“appropriating a montreal subculture” is not a real thing
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why is everyone always shitting themselves? not something I really deal with
Turns out if you casually eat about 4 cups of cherries and then go for a brisk walk around the block, you probably won’t make that very important and critical home stretch to the bathroom without projectile pooping on every fiber of fabric covering your body
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damn this sucks shit
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it’s so soothing finding another chat gpt student essay. the calm that sweeps over me as i drink deep of the smoothly grammatical sentences containing no key term definition or evidence, in a voice unlike any 19 year-old ever, style and detail-less, an analgesic for the brain
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at first the child chef appears incompetent…yet by the end of the video you will say to yourself: “from now on only babies will cook for me”
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she just arbitrarily agreed to $1200??? truly the dumbest job
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I easily have the most peer reviewed publications of anyone at this Laser Tag facility
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[awaking from terrible and incriminating dreams] luckily all that stuff is random and fake
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I would absolutely vet someone’s relationship to Zionism before dating them
A Jewish friend of mine, on her first date, was asked if she was a Zionist and then grilled on her position regarding Gaza. Pls don't do this!
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she’s quite a bad poet actually
Wow. Amanda Gorman “tomorrow is not written by our odds but by the audacity of our hope.”
“The American dream is no dream at all but a dare to dream together.”
God, she’s magnificent.
#DNC2024
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During this same quiz a student left the room for FIFTY minutes, and within the first five of those he has logged into our course website (computers weren’t allowed during the quiz) lmaooo he came back saying he felt sick and wanted to take it later bro open the damn schools
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[Hamas baby earmarking its much loved copy of Mein Kampf] oooooo chile this shit is fire
Me: you can’t be talking like that Hamas baby
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Columbia deans are gonna be like “what is kettling but a thinking of community otherwise, a rupture in the distribution of the sensible,”
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one time my US students said their favorite part of reading Orientalism was when Edward Said says he’s Palestinian because up until that point they thought the author was a racist white guy who was explaining how he was about to do Orientalism
Do not make lists of writers and color code them according to your interpretation of their politics, lol.
That usually is a prelude to purging and murdering
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CNN and CBS both just did a gushing “amazing military coordination to pull this off,” “Hezbollah will think twice now”account of the Beirut bombings. absolutely psychotic but not surprising that this is just the mainstream view
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it happened lmaoooo
My friend received this email from NYU after they called the police and arrested her lol. You rlly cannot make this up.
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You’re 25 years old. your Concordia friend Xander is hosting a DJ night at his $800/month flat in Mile End and you heard one of the guys from Chromeo will be there. your v-neck is deep as hell,the coke is terrible, and you’re wearing molester glasses. The year is 2024 in Montreal
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What Happens When a Movement I Acknowledge With Condescension Gets Tainted By Qualities I’ve Imagined?
— my latest in The Atlantic 👇👇
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just overheard a couple on a date. the man is trying to explain Derrida’s critique of Saussure in Of Grammatology. woman says, “i translated that book into English in 1976. now I am sponsored by the luxury soap brand Aesop. Every year I hire an intern that hates me. I amGayatri S
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The semester starts tomorrow. Yes, encourage students to come to office hours, but also remember to give them examples of why students have gone:
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@alybrickey
Yeah it was still a summary assignment. My guess is they smuggled in notes where AI generated stuff had been pre-written
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— I was 7 when my first poem was published
— short story writer by 13
— phd program at 21
— tenured by 24
— lost virginity 37
— fired from job bc of tweets 38
— began a child labor startup 39
— extracted my first surplus value from a child 39
Do you. on your OWN time ✌️
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me when my butler asks for a free evening in town to visit his betrothed 🤣🤣
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Yale History Professor
Smiling as I watch Black men on my feed promising to stan
@taylorswift13
if she endorses
@KamalaHarris
. Culture loosening up, in a good way. Let’s go make a much better future.
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[contemporary novel im reading that has normie liberal politics] me: this fuckin sucks!!
[Japanese boston terrier instagram caption that says “work hard and have a good attitude so you don’t get fat and poor, lazy-chan!”] me: it’s good that these dogs are motivated
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lowkey it feels quite colonialist to assign my students *any* readings at all which is why I get them to assign ME readings and now I have over 4500 pages of furry hentai manga fanfic to read for Monday
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I’m a nineteenth century scholar so I’m always bugging my husband abt if he might be just a little bit neurasthenic
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one of the most common mistakes candidates make during the job interview is to reveal the day and time of their foretold death to the hiring committee. Avoid phrases such as “I will die on [X date]” or “beware that my time arrives on [date]”
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my TA badly injured herself voluntarily reroofing my lakeside cabin but she is still excited to grade papers for me in ENGL 389: Intro to Marxism! this is what solidarity looks like y’all 💪💪
#AcademicChatter
#AcademicTwitter
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I’m a first gen PhD in the sense that my parents’ research did not take into account the nonhuman turn and new materialism
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I don’t know how you can live in this world and be ok
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it’s clarifying that the ethically committed cringe millennial rapper is so much more nourishing culturally at this moment than the hedging, hair-splitting ramblings of the paragon of gen X high literary fiction
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just finished Lolita and it’s so fucked up. the guy gets a job at a community college with no previous institutional affiliation
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when I was his TA, Tim Bewes taught White Teeth to Brown undergrads as an instance of false Bakhtinian polyphony: a narrative structure offering the ruse of a plurality of multiple antagonistic perspectives but actually enabling a kind of flexible, liberal fantasy of assimilation
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it’s actually soooo important to be learning from our students about this important issue that affects us all
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“what exact time were you born” sorry i won’t be complicit in biopolitics
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as a historian i can tell you I’m strokin my shit rn
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college students should be made to try at least 100 dipping sauces per day
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sorry but if i was there it wouldn’t have went down like it did…
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Question for fellow teachers: any tips for dealing with students? they are always sitting in the classroom when I arrive and appear to want my knowledge yet they carry very little cash on them have nothing to offer me in the form of payment
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“Don’t blame the student” no trust me i do. this is the dumbest shit ever
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I will dunk on the undergrad
I’m not dunking on an undergrad. You can’t make me. “Student at fancy institution writes exposé of secret wokeness” is the most over-saturated genre of the 2020s and you just gotta close your eyes and refuse to engage
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every damn day poetry surpasses new heights of cringe
This style of writing, twee activities written in the second-person imperative, is known in the biz as Manic Pixie Guidance Counselor
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some of you seem to have forgotten that drinkjng 25 beers enacts an affirmative biopolitics of the multitude yet stepping onto the dancefloor reinscribes the carceral spatio-temporal logic of the beat
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the officer’s firearm became ineluctably entangled in a contingent process of becoming and its various unforeseen potentialities were realized (ἐνέργεια)
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“we’re gonna take it easy tonight”
me 15 mango white claws later:
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this is exactly what all of academic twitter used to be like I’m not even kidding
Maybe this is an oversimplification, but Ryan Gosling being nominated, but not Margot Robbie and Greta Gerwig, perfectly explains to me why we aren’t in the 8th year of Hillary Clinton’s presidency.
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the premise that having friends is good “early career advice” is so fucking funny man academics are not ok
One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given at the start of my career was to have friends on the outside — people who love you & will try to understand because they care, but in the end are primarily invested in YOU, separate from anything you may or may not accomplish.
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I’m also sponsored by Parmesan cheese but the pictures they took of me with the cheese are humiliating
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please reach out to your admxnistrator friends right now, they are not ok. if you’re not part of that community you may not know that students can easily trigger the ancient ancestral urge to call the police. Please respect this form of situated knowledge
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I actually think it’s fine if academics only write for each other and if you’ve ever glanced at a STEM journal you’d know this is already the de facto case and it only becomes a talking point because of a notion of the humanities as fundamentally unrigorous
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I still laugh thinking about the premise of “hi I’m Edward Said and I’m about so do Orientalism at you”
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going back in time to prevent the Brontë sisters from drinking their graveyard runoff water thus saving their lives and facilitating the writing of 2 Wuthering 2 Heights: Heathcliff Unbound
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I’m on my school’s internal grants adjudication committee and by far the stupidest grants are from psychology, absolutely dogshit discipline with the dumbest possible “experiments”
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one time in grad school i was out for dinner and my phone started blowing up because a guy in my program was begging me to text him saying i put porn on his laptop as a joke because his gf had found his porn and I was like, “damn…so I’m the go-to porn goofster of the cohort”
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friend with normal job says he’s so busy at work because he’s “onboarding” this week. yeah buddy I’m onboarding over 120 new people every week. my frickin students. to become New Historicists
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I’m with Raygun right now and she says she was doing those moves to ironize her own act of colonial appropriation. “please read Homi Bhabha’s Of Mimicry and Man” she just said to herself smiling
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as a UCLA, Princeton, and Barnard grad who was going to give a keynote at Columbia today and just turned down a fellowship from UT Austin, I am frankly disgusted by very specific individuals at each of these illustrious institutions
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students can blow vape smoke directly in your face if their accessibility accommodations say they smoke more different than anyone
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one of the most timeless and universal goofs (or gags, if you will) is pointing out a weird guy to your friend and saying “that’s you”
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two things can be true:
1) My teen son Bohdan cannot read
2) He lunges at me in a darkened basement
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imagine learning literature from this guy
Reasonable people may differ with me, but I'd argue the greatest writers of fiction & poetry have been apolitical--provided we define "political" as meaning "partisan." I don't think Joyce, Beckett, Faulkner, O'Connor, McCarthy, Stevens, Melville, et al had any use for politics.
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another day teaching literature at the humanities university. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the books. buddy they won’t even let me fuck the books
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awwww is it raining in New York City?? should we just snuggle up??? should we invite Frank O Hara??
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2024 is gonna be all about deprioritizing health and relationships and recentering earnings and cash flow
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once again my department has rejected my $32,000 funding request for zine materials
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