JD Vance fkd a couch truther
@csmayhew
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Bicycle coach Kentucky native, Pittsburgh for now. I have a hard time reading tweets from people who don't believe in themselves.
Joined October 2010
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Pinned Tweet
"You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole." Raylan Givens
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@HeyImjustsayin
@Nicole_Cliffe
To quote a mother of 6 at my gym "most babies take nine months, but you never know how long that first one will take"
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@Nicole_Cliffe
There was a point when I was brought to the other side of the c section curtain but then left. I faced the wall like Blair Witch Project. They asked if I was OK. I told them I knew what was on the other side of that curtain and that I knew my limits.
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@SwiftOnSecurity
I worked in a college computer lab in the 90s. Inevitably during finals we'd lose power and a 1000s voices would cry out, their term papers silenced. Also, when Apples were exotic, someone would hit the power button to eject their disc, also losing their term paper.
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@Nicole_Cliffe
You must be fun to camp with. "you're looking a little peaked there, you feeling OK? "
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Imagine cycling getting so fed up with the UCI that all the pros and sponsors walked away, fate unknown. That's what's happening, in 24hrs, in CrossFit. It's pretty cool.
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@laurenancona
@AutSciPerson
Very early in our relationship my wife complied with my request to only give me one driving direction at a time. I just can't deal with more than 1 plus the demands of driving. She was really good about it.
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Your periodic reminder that the dude that suddenly has an opinion on fairness in cycling yelled at me to pull thru on a charity ride.
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@Nicole_Cliffe
Once heard moooooooooooooooom and our sensitive young son came running through the house. He had caught a Sarah McLaughlin and on cable TV at the grandparents'. He cried for an hour.
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Why y'all out here demanding disc brakes when you're on Zwift anyway.
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"Wear a costume for the Halloween race!" they say. I think a middle aged man in a skinsuit is quite enough cosplay, thanks.
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I think FTP tests should be 30 mins of you riding to a group ride you'll be 5 minutes late for.
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It does not matter how jacked up my bike is, the moment I unclip from my ride I completely forget about it all until it happens on the next ride.
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Buys a new Rapha jacket promptly refuses to ride in weather that would necessitate that jacket.
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@BengalsNation8
@fcutter
@PJMatt
I heard Phil Collins said it about a guy he watched let another man drown.
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Working the elections commission was one of the best and worst jobs I've ever had. And unceremoniously with a text it's over. Thank for the support yall.
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Full confession, I made a mistake on 11 ballots. An observer for the Trump campaign caught the error and it was corrected. The system works, as my boss's boss commented.
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They called us back. About to unf*** Allegheny County y'all.
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I think I should become a cycling specific therapist. Teach people that it's ok to take a day off from training or how to advocate for themselves at bike shops.
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Just put my PowerTap wheels (which needed to be overhauled) out for the trash. End of an era. I rode some version of that wheel since 2002.
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I never would have agreed to promoting a bike race if I had known it would involve talking on the phone.
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My bike watching me buy another Rapha jersey instead of washing the mud off it from that ride in March.
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Man good legs on the bike is such an addictive high.
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Very anecdotally Zwift has not been good for local handling skills.
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Shout-out to the guy on the bike path riding a rental bike who attacked me, taunted "try to keep up Indurain!" and then went "oh!" and blew up 3 ft past my front wheel.
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My wife keeps apologizing for not being in town on Father's Day. As if I wanna do anything more than ride my face off and watch Top Gun while drunk and eating ice cream.
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The one true power test is being 7 minutes late for a ride 30 minutes away.
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In an age where tubulars are going away I'm glad chain waxing is coming into fashion so we can still have something arcane, messy and dubious in cycling.
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Funny how driving around an area where 3 SEAL teams are stationed and I'm seeing less Punisher stickers than I would in Pittsburgh.
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Hopped on course this weekend. Did 4 corners and thought "man, this part of the course is tight". Then I turned another corner and was right back where I started. Turns out I hopped on the kid's course.
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I know we're supposed to be bummed about cross but I sat in the front yard with two sets of good friends and sampled bourbon and I haven't done that in the fall in my adult life.
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Today is the first ride I've felt good on this year and one of few I've enjoyed in the last 18 months. Good day
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Really digging Rapha's limited edition "cat 2 who quits his team in the middle of the season" collection.
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@schIepperex
@joe_antognini
Yes, Analog noticed a lot of subscribers at Los Alamos and Oak Ridge.
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Got a text after the work out today & made a noise. The guy next to me asked if I was ok. I told him I just found out my wife DOES NOT have cancer. He told me both his wife & daughter had a recent cancer scare as well. Point being, ya never know what folks are walking around with
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RACING BIKES (aka CRITS) is NOT a good idea. I've tried it (back in the day) and it was worse than anything that happened to LANCE. I "kitted up" with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Oostende, Belgium. With no idea what happened. DON'T DO CRITS.
SMOKING WEED (aka GRASS) is NOT a good idea. I’ve tried it (back in the day) and it was WORSE than anything that happened to HUNTER BIDEN. I “toked up” with some buddies in Kentucky and woke up 4 days later in Nairobi, Kenya. With no idea what happened. DON’T DO DRUGS.
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@Nicole_Cliffe
I offered to help a mom once. She said you can hold him. I said uhhhhh. She said hold him or nothing. I held him while thinking "something I know that you don't is this is the first baby I've held".
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@nigelgstephens
@ellenlikesbikes
@drdavehulse
🚨🚨🚨🚨 👮🚨🚨🚨🚨 thank goodness you got here before anyone laughed at a joke on the internet.
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The national media and dialogue has moved on, but your local poll worker still out here making it happen. Although at this point it feels like pole worker.
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Between family issues and bike related issues food gets weird this time of year. It was really nice to just eat and enjoy it today. My wife is an amazing cook.
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The new cyclocross warm up is sitting in your car with the air conditioning on.
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Remember when you could put your sunglasses in your helmet ?
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Laxatives ranked: 1 coffee 2 arriving at race venue 3 long sleeve skinsuit pinned to base layer 4 bib shorts
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Official: one minute to start.
Racer 1: I have to pee !!!!
Racer 2: it's the masters race, we all have to pee.
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My son just got a wrist watch. The degree to which he loves it, in the way my dad would have, brings me a lot of happiness.
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I'll be working an inner city polling spot for a day. One of my co workers expressed alarm for my safety. I would be far more concerned for my safety working a deep red suburb.
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You know you're racing in the Midwest when a kid falls over in front of you in the sand during pre ride, looks you right in the eyes and apologizes.
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The only thing I don't like about Rapha is how much it shrinks in the winter.
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@Nicole_Cliffe
We were only able to have one child. During the period in which people would ask us why we weren't having more I would respond "ain't for lack of trying *wink*".
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Did 100 push ups (not consecutively) without going to my knees & rode some stuff that would have induced a panic attack. Solid day.
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Punched myself in the junk putting on leg warmers. How's your day?
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@Nicole_Cliffe
I got diagnosed with ADHD about 8 years ago. My wife said she knew within two weeks of meeting me 20 years ago. My aunt said she tried to tell my parents as a child. I feel you on this .
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@Nicole_Cliffe
Our pre Cana was filled with young people full of hope. There was one couple old enough to be our grandparents. During a very basic 💰 discussion the man said of the hypothetical, "THEY SHOULDNT DO IT. THEY SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED" as his solution to the problem.
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I've been logging my calories for a day and a half now and I have no idea how anyone does it longer than that.
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My Rapha jacket is so old it has loops for a headphone cable.
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New (temp) job is win win win. Cheryl has set up goals for me "Each day you work we can pay for this". I'm helping the election happen at a local level. And it prevents me from doom scrolling for 8+ hours
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On the plus side I just turned in my biggest week on the bike in 2 years and my wife has been everything I've needed and then some this last week.
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@XhrisGhena
@heartlesslyR
@TheBabadesk
@michaeljwest
@ByrneHobart
@SnakeBucket
@ModeledBehavior
No. But Analog Magazine noticed large groups of subscribers at Oak Ridge.
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I did about 3% of this directly.
JUST IN --> New batch of votes in from Allegheny County, PA.
9,288 ballots.
Biden gets 7,300
Trump gets 1,875
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There Is No Dana Only Juul is going to be the name of my vape shop.
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Me riding for 15 minutes telling myself I earned this.
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I can't believe I spent years driving to races with nothing more than a paper map and my memory. I can barely find my kitchen without Google Maps these days.
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You spend so much time when you're racing bikes focused on how fat you are. Then you stop racing bikes and you'd kill to be that fat again.
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I'm old enough to remember when we were hopeful about 2021.
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Today in suburban problems; our rescue pit bull sunburned his junk after sleeping on the porch all day.
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It is so hot I am drinking my bourbon with two ice cubes.
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You'll never guess what I got to do tonight as a firefighter tonight. I have never been more prepared.
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The top of your car after a snow storm is all I need to know about you as a person.
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My wife leaving the bike shop vs me.
Melania making a dash for freedom as soon as she gets off the plane 😁
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If you vote in person tomorrow be kind to the staff you meet. We're all shoestring-ing democracy in a way that was charming and now seems fraught.
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I was asked to fix a bike at my gym today which means they have finally accepted me.
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Almost ran over a couple in the middle of the trail trying to have a reason to celebrate Father's Day 2024.
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Say what you want about Crossfit but I really enjoy the positivity encouraged in the culture. Very different than cycling.
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A bored endurance athlete is a dangerous thing.
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I really enjoyed those few hours my social media was nothing but Ellen Noble.
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I was told about a pro cyclist that was keeping shrooms in their fridge for retirement. I think about them periodically and hope they are living their best life.
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My PT told me to exhale during the hard parts but man that's just good life advice.
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I have eaten (& loved!) enough of these that
@ClifBar
has made their $ back on sponsoring
@JeremyPowers
@ellenlikesbikes
&
@JAMcyclingFund
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We used to be able to yell at people on group rides for minor perceived infractions. We used to be a real country.
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I think everyone should have to wear those plastic $20 rain jackets from 1999 for a year just to appreciate how nice modern materials are.
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There's still so much work to be done. There's no reason to think Joe Rogan won't be our next president. But today, today I'm gonna be happy.
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Buzzed on Wild Turkey 101 and reading Wahoo Bolt reviews. How's your evening?
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