Jasper James
@jasperjames_
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Booking Agent : booking @ninkasi .co
Glasgow
Joined June 2012
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I would like to thank David Attenborough and his voice for putting my anxiety at ease.
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So confused. This is pretty much identical to ‘Daddy’s Favourite - I feel good things’ with a pitched up tempo, which was produced by my dad in 1998. 😕 🤷🏼♂️
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Mind the time I took my first swedger. It was at Fabric, Friday night Andy C larging it. I was there with my new fake I.d, buzzing to have got in. My Jaw was doing the Gay Gordon’s, when someone shouted my name. Turned round to find my dad there.
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No word of a lie. I haven’t known what Day it is for 3 weeks solid. Just found out it’s Saturday. Fukin buzzin
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Just had such a belter of a KFC in Manchester Airport. I was fully involved with the fuker, so much so i didn’t realise it was final call for my Glasgow flight. I ran so fast I whiteyed it bak up. SHADY
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Gold Rolls Royce bars from 2014/15 would be a lovely treat for when we are allowed back out 🙃🚀
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Fukin hell, you know you’ve had a heavy weekend when your crying to Love Island.
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Why do all hotels tuck the duvet underneath the mattress. No one sleeps like that. If u do your a weirdo.
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Currently at an Altitude of 38,993ft in the Air and the WiFi is better than in my gaff. Chillin with a red wine FaceTiming cunts telling them they need to get better reception, mad.
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Strongbow Dark Fruits. A sweet nectar from the heavens above. 🙏
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I’ve been stranded passportless in Amsterdam for 4 days. Tell you something, it’s not a bad place to lose your shit. 👽
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Mad how gear is illegal and coffee isn’t. Both exact same drug. Anxiety!
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Currently so hungover in an hours taxi ride to the airport with the driver playing the worst EDM. It’s making me feel sick. I’m feeling too fragile to say anything as he is the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger and looks like he could eat me if he wanted.
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If anycunt needs me, don't bother. I will be asleep till Friday, waking up only for a curry and a can of Irn bru. Cheers
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How many sub genres are there these days?! Seen the genre ‘Future House’ in Beatport and thought oh I wonder what this is. Answer - absolute pish.
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I’m having a bath on a Friday night. Fuk going out and taking eccies. Just take them in the bath. If you get thirsty drink the water.
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Just had the best massage of my life. It’s what I’d imagine coming up on a disco biscuit feels like.
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Didn’t think I’d ever say this but I doubt I’ll ever drink Irn Bru again. They’ve really fukd it right up with the new recipe. R.I.P Irn Bru.
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Wee interview with my da!
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My
@boilerroomtv
set is now available to watch back. 🤓 I was super nervous before playing this set as I knew it was in front of my home crowd and it was being filmed but in the end I felt at ease thanks to you lovely ravers jumping about like lunatics and showing me support!
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Drinking all day on an empty stomach is not big or clever.
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There is no way of saying this without sounding like a soppy c**nt.... but honestly I count my lucky stars each and every gig i play. Thank you to everyone who comes out and supports the scene. What a blessing to play music for a living, I truly am so lucky. ❤️
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The amount I refresh between Instagram, Twitter and my emails is unhealthy. I know it but I can’t seem to stop it.
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Massive thanks to everyone who came out and danced at
@openairfly
! No one does it better than a Scottish crowd. On your fukin selves! ❤️🏴
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Just touched my private part after chopping Chillis. Best cure please. Quick.
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People often ask me how I keep my trainers so clean and how they remain so white. If you really want to know, you need to be an expert puddle dodger on a daily basis.
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What a Whitey my suitcase has been opened & robbed. If this happened in glasgow airport you better not cut around the town sporting that amazing trackie I just bought. Basturts!!!
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.
@jamieoliver
sitting in your restaurant in Gatwick airport. Ordered a Bloody Mary and got served warm tomato juice with no ice and Glens Vodka. Not even a drizzle of Lea and P. Sort it out fs.
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Danger of smoking a joint at this time is now I need a pizza.
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See when u chop some rudeboi chillies, forget to wash your hands and touch u know what... You’ve had a badyin! 🌶
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Canny wait till tonight. Gonna be double dropping chicken balls and curry sauce. Yasss
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Don’t know what I’m more gutted about. The fact I’ve been robbed or the fact I’m now gonna be one of those suitcase bubble wrap wanks.
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TIP. Sometimes you just need to lie in bed and sweat it all out for as long as possible.
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When the driver honks Darude - Sandstorm without realising.
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My pal Jonjo is so stoned he is trying to half a Cornetto so he can have some.
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I’m not a big Mcdonald’s fan in anyway. BUT, the double quarter pounder with cheese is a serious game changer. I’ve only ever had it abroad but I just seen the advert for it in the UK. Helfy
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Robbie Williams new song is shockingly bad!! 'I love my life, Iam wonderful, Iam powerful' fuk off ya bell end.
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Karizma’s track has been used in the new google chrome advert. Fair play bigyin
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When u wake up after a session, look in the mirror and realise you've lost half yer front tooth. Fuk right off!
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Sat down in one of the restaurants in Bilbao Airport. The waiter taking my order had pupils the size of the solar eclipse and proceeds to tell me how much fun he had at last nights gig. 10/10 for effort.
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From tomorrow onwards.... Sub Club, Sonar, Berlin, Glastonbury, Hideout. 👽👽👽👽👽
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When Jack used to be a Dubstep DJ 😂
"Subculture is a right of passage" -
@jackmaster
Check out the brilliant interview in full here -->
Harri & Domenic play all night long tonight, join us 😘
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I just lost a friend tonight. They order a Mc Chicken sandwich with tomato sauce.
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Hadn’t had a baked potato in years. So I made one, and it was bloody excellent.
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Somecunt get Attenborough out of the cold weather and get him a duvet pronto. Need to keep that legend going for another century!
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Half cut on route to subby to play some tunes. Just like old times 🙃
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Loudly over the Glasgow Aiport Tannoy this morning. “Anybody who has lost their dentures please return to security.”
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I'm excited to eventually share with you all the first release on my new Label, Mitchell Street Records. 🙂
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Been digging out a few briefs to play you all for my return at the Sub Club, Warehouse Project and Ibiza this weekend. C’mon 💿 😘
Friday - Glasgow,
@SubClub
Saturday - Manchester,
@WHP_Mcr
Sunday - Ibiza,
@ushuaiaibiza
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Don't think they realise they've entered the real life version of the film Bad Neighbours.
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🤣
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Developed a heavy taste for those clicky menthols. Fuk yer chewing gum.
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If your feet aren’t aching after a night out your doing it all wrong!
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