one woman cult
@clickholebot
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adults loved to tell me i’d make a great lawyer one day when i was a kid which i realize now was their way of calling me a bitch
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i don’t want to jinx it by telling the world but i can’t keep this secret any longer. ive had a starbucks gift card with $12.51 on it for 3 years now. i use it and the balance does not change. i wonder if starbucks will ever catch on
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the most important lesson my mother taught me in life is that for any straight relationship to work, this has gotta be the dynamic
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babies are so dumb. they get a little light up toy and they’re enthralled with it. i’m only entertained by art house cinema personally
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my cat and my moms cat have never gotten along and yesterday i accidentally gave them too much pet hemp oil and they both passed out on the bed together for 6 hours and when they woke up they were friends
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when kate moss said nothing tastes as good as skinny feels i take that with a grain of salt bc she was british
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my mind also cannot comprehend this
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aging is one of the most beautiful thing a woman can do
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the first thing my roommate ever crocheted… like wtf man
I hate it when men actually dedicate themselves to a female task because they always end up getting autistically good at it
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i feel so bad for funny girls on here with huge tits
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the true shame of it is that i don’t even like starbucks that much (sorry, i’m particular about my coffee). i don’t know why the gods chose to bestow this particular gift upon me
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summer is so cool i wish shorts that look good on you were real
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kind of weird how a panera lemonade killed a developmentally disabled man and a young girl with a heart condition and everyone responded by giving them a bunch of business so that they could make memes about it
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this is also so funny to me because i very much did not want a relationship with this man.. we went on a few dates months ago and mutually ghosted each other. he could have just asked me for the name of my perfume? water sign men give me migraines
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girl who is probably going to be okay but can’t get herself to believe that right now
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i decided a fair punishment would be i lie and say it’s santal 33, a bottom barrel perfume with a top shelf price tag
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the hottest thing a man can have is really sad eyes. and full lips. and a strong jaw
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@gracebolstan2
i am both uniquely lucky and uniquely unlucky. it makes for an interesting life
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oh okay wow haha this is the perfume for everyone who asked <3
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broad city x hillary moment of 2024
Kamala Harris has followed Charli xcx on Instagram and Twitter following her support.
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not one hiss out of them… i guess the secret all along was just doing drugs together
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greenpoint father asked me for my number this morning for “babysitting or a drink.” what in the hbo original series
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If you’re gonna get online and talk about the score you got on an AP exam that far into adulthood it better have been a 5
Taylor Swift is for the girlies who got a 4 on the AP Lit exam and work in marketing now.
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hes the reason for the teardrops on my lenovo thinkpad
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@cicington
very cute and those kids will be surrounded by so many people who care about them
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just found out that you can turn your depthless wellspring of love inwards onto yourself
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average male cumtown fan (wait for the second half i promise it’s worth it)
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a year + a month ago i posted a pic of myself in this dress, today my boyfriend and i are celebrating our one year .. he has explicitly admitted this dress is the reason. god bless the hands that made this
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when i say a girl has dyson airwrap face do you know what i mean
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grades don’t determine people’s intelligence. i determine people’s intelligence after having one singular conversation with them
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mmm yeah let’s make the gear shift a big spinny knob and put it right next to the volume control knob, what could go wrong
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im pro blonde people dating each other because i don’t want to date them and i think they deserve love too
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me and my sister watching a former navy seal buy an amp, set it up in our front yard, and perform eric clapton’s layla with my moms name (kayla) subbed in to try to win her affections
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i mean she’s just rich
Alex Cooper’s (call her daddy) wedding looks were FAB. I didn’t know she possessed that much Diva in her. Vintage Dior, Archive Donna Karan and Alexander McQueen — custom Jimmy Choo!
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i’ve decided i’m pretty enough to ask for a one sided open relationship
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no thick long haired person has ever enjoyed the summertime
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dude what the fuck, did you just tickle my girl’s fancy!?!
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i don’t really believe in the sanctity of marriage but i do like the idea of someone having to pay legal fees to break up with me
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having a boyfriend who lies to you is not a bad thing he just needs to lie to you about the right things
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you know you just copped a good item of clothing when all the men in your life don’t like it
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@LongMasterWolf
personally i think we shouldn’t reward huge corporations for irresponsible business practices that end up killing and maiming people but maybe that’s just me
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the other night someone asked my friend for p*ppers and he gave him some and then almost as though offering payment he hands me (only girl in the group) his phone and goes “here follow yourself on instagram”
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we’ve all gotten our cartilages pierced before it’s not that serious
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for those asking this is the brand… i put it in their bowls with churu on top
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nevertheless she persisted (got on the L train to go to her white collar job despite being hungover)
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scrolling through a man’s likes and seeing how many egirl selfies are in there before i decide if i want to have a crush on him
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people online when someone wears a pair of shoes 4 times :
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need a moment to process the fact that ernest hemingway killed himself with an abercrombie and fitch gun
During the Fitch and Cobb eras, A&F rode on its association with elites, as they outfitted everyone from presidents to pioneers. They sold stuff to Teddy Roosevelt, Charles Lindbergh, and Ernest Hemmingway (who killed himself with an A&F gun)
Right pic is Lindbergh's A&F jacket
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@footballwithave
it literally did not. the girl who died had a heart condition, only drank one lemonade, and had been told by her doctors it was okay to drink one cup of coffee a day. it was marketed as having similar caffeine content as a coffee, and she died because of that
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@LilosSoberCoach
amyris femme by maison francis kurkdjian (much more refined than baccarat 540 i promise)
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women are not complicated we just want to be taken to the beach. that’s it
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gwen was sooo smart for having kids with a weird looking guy
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nice try but my life is actually defined by the love in it
its insane that your entire life is defined by 2-3 actually important decisions and everything else is a rounding error
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im so sorry but she should have been escorted out the office for that bejeweled diaper
vogue magazine creative director julia hobbs’ fit checks from the elevator at vogue headquarters
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lovebombing has always worked on me because I’m conceited and had no trouble believing someone could just be that into me
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@lostmyplanet
lol i’m not trying to get revenge on this girl.. santal 33 is a very popular scent i just personally don’t like it. if you want me to give away my signature scent act normal!
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my mom is always giving me advice that would only work if i had inherited her breasts
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you are a neanderthal who thinks hotness is all about collagen and fake tits bouncing around in a red swimsuit… if you truly understood, you’d be able to see the way this woman, now more than ever, radiates light (and sex appeal) like the full moon on a balmy summer night
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doing important work
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warms my heart to see. bring those rent prices down girls keep talking about how much it sucks / moving out
This is what happens when you come to nyc without any interest to be part of a community bc you bought the romanization of city.
#NYC
is a city not a sitcom production set
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my hottest take is if you can’t eat the mushrooms raw you’re too baby to be doing drugs
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yo who is going to cough up 400 dollars for this skirt that literally belongs on my body
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it’s crazy because 23 was truly rock bottom. couldn’t pay me to go back there
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hey what’s up guys just saw alexandria daddarios new orleans wedding photos and decided it’s time to start looking for a first marriage
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whoever put tomatoes cucumber onions feta cheese olive oil lemon and salt in a bowl together deserved a nobel peace prize
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