Bimbo Pink Hoodwink 🧸🏓
@chappUHquiddick
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💬 Kooks or bust Ralph Lifshitz is cultural appropriation
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“Girlbosses” and their consequences have been a disaster for society
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As it was in the beginning, is now, and shall ever be: white boy summer
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Dudes coming out of the dive bar bathroom for the 56th time in an hour
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Men used to go to war. Now they whine about the lotion at their trendy gym
Just tried the
@Equinox
x
@GrownAlchemistU
products today and can someone explain what went wrong? This lotion is so fucking horrible it’s like sun tan lotion to rub in…
The cost savings from
@Kiehls
cannot be worth it for a product that is such ass
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Babe wake up a new season of Jerry Springer just dropped
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At the tradwife tryouts y’all need anything
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Tryna be like this just in our bag & genuinely growing together while being each other’s biggest flex. some fuck everyone else type shit
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First thing I will do as president is 10x student loan debt
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We saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe
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Okay but in what other city can I get $15 bagels and $20 coffees
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Adults who dress up for Halloween belong on the sex offender registry
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@callicrates_
wildly amusing how mad people get when they cannot know every detail about you. Can’t make an assessment based on their preconceived notions
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When God gives me the most inappropriate tweet ideas at the most inappropriate times
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@filadisruptor
that’s dope, don’t be embarrassed. I often travel with home cooked food, why buy junk in transit if you don’t have to
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Only people up rn are cabbies, fentanyl addicts, Dunkin’ Donuts employees, drunken sailors, lemurs, delta pilots, and south East Asians. Good morning
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Who up feelin festive
Good morning. Have a very merry Monday
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What’s the matter babe you’ve hardly touched the charcuterie board
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Good morning gm gm WAKE tf UP let’s go! have a great day everyone
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This is your brain on LinkedIn SSRIs and Costco wine
I love this idea & am planning one:
A night where all of your friends make a presentation on what they do at work and answer questions.
I don't know much about what many of my friends do for a living.
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Mfs are NOT ready for my 2023 drip
gm & have a great day
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Take you back to the hoe aisle
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tryna be like this, just in our bag & genuinely growing together while being each others biggest flex. some fuck everyone else type shit
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Me listening to HR read my Slack conversations out loud in our meeting about “appropriate workplace language and conversation topics”
Me listening to HR read my Slack conversations out loud in our meeting about “appropriate workplace language and conversation topics”
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Need an emperor penguin coat
Emperor penguins survive temperatures of -60°C thanks to their feathers, densely packed as seen in these pictures.
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One man’s nope is another man’s would. It’s called arbitrage
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Mfs every Monday talking about their weekend bender like “I got that dog in me”
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We saw you from across the bar and really dig your vibe
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among the most surreal moments of the past 2 years
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Pro tip: get married on leap day so that you only have to celebrate your anniversary every 4 or so years
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The lowest energy mfs be like “I got that dawg in me”. Yeah bro, a basset hound
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Mfs be like “last night was a movie”
Yeah bro, Home Alone
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Cam returning to twitter like
“sup foos, modelo time”
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Rise and shine mfs gmgmgmgmgm GOOD MORNING! It’s another magnificent Monday let’s get it
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TikTok ban during the adderall shortage gonna be an extinction level event
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First thing I will do as president is ban speaker phone in public
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This app is so castrated it’s pathetic Anyway gm
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It’s almost 2024 bro why are you still talking about politics
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Dad, tell me about the time Bröke catfished all of fintwit
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NYC mfs sporting their sample sale reject drip that they waited in line for hours to get
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Mfs literally make the nyc marathon their entire personality
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Lazy mfs love to say “Rome wasn’t built in a day” as an excuse to stop working
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grown ass men getting excited about a movie release
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Reply guys .00005 seconds after an egirl posts
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Listening to this new band
they’re kinda underground so you probably haven’t heard of them
pretty fire tbh
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Grandpa tell us about the Great Adderall Shortage
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Show her how much you love her with a lab grown diamond
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not even that into beer but the JAWS Narragansett is obviously goated
Anyway what’s up i hope everyone is having a nice summer Saturday
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Crime has a serious lack of diversity is anyone looking into this
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Women used to be homemakers now they sell pictures of their butthole online
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