Fake Mr. Kelce
@captbeardguy
Followers
3,523
Following
2,838
Media
10,092
Statuses
83,915
Not actually Jason Kelce. English teacher, actor, girl dad. Lifelong suffering 5/5 Philadelphia fan. Eagerly awaiting death and pancakes. We are.
Joined July 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#2024MAMAVOTE
• 1483555 Tweets
Liz Cheney
• 582030 Tweets
Mazón
• 378127 Tweets
Diddy
• 298058 Tweets
#HappyBirthdaySRK
• 241250 Tweets
Christmas
• 209449 Tweets
#الهلال_النصر
• 125844 Tweets
taemin
• 58368 Tweets
Noroña
• 52325 Tweets
Alito
• 52238 Tweets
Hugh Hewitt
• 37574 Tweets
Thanksgiving
• 30540 Tweets
للهلال
• 30353 Tweets
فوز الهلال
• 29320 Tweets
Interlagos
• 21663 Tweets
Nuketown
• 19159 Tweets
Nuria Montes
• 19008 Tweets
Murillo
• 16025 Tweets
القحطاني
• 14054 Tweets
Drudge
• 13498 Tweets
تاليسكا
• 11346 Tweets
مستر فيفا
• 10476 Tweets
مالكوم
• 10040 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Hey everyone! The school year is starting up soon and if you’d be willing to help fulfill my classroom wishlist, my kiddos and I would really appreciate it. Even a RT helps!
#ClearTheLists2024
3
55
31
Dallas would’ve won if Dak hadn’t taken the Pfizer jab smh
139
3K
24K
Understandable that a Giants fan would think scoring points is a bad play
13
251
2K
I give my students a survey to start the year. Have a good feeling about these two kiddos.
24
148
2K
The only person I’m not currently mad at is Jalen Hurts
33
120
2K
I’ll never forgive Al Michaels for how terrible this call is
5 years ago today in Super Bowl 52:
The Philly Special happened.
33
231
2K
76
82
2K
@celebrityhottub
After getting our tax return, I spent about three weeks going to different stores to compare different models of grills before buying. I made two turkey sized balls of paper to make sure the new grill could fit two turkeys. I brought these to every store to test grill capacity.
19
31
1K
4 years ago, my wife commented on a FB live video of me crying after the win and she said I looked more emotional than I did at our wedding.
I told her that "it wasn't that I love them more, it's that I've loved them longer."
Go birds.
14
69
1K
Been reading the Meg books. Yes, the Meg movies are based on books. The books are wild. The most wild part is that the author is from Philly and in the third book Pat Burrell beats Barry Bonds’ HR record and it results the deaths of several people due to a Megalodon attack.
26
97
989
Considering we had McNabb and Vick, this is a wild stat to me.
Jalen Hurts & Randall Cunningham are the only QBs in Eagles history with 2 rushing TDs in multiple games
14
47
771
13
122
897
Looking forward to seeing my student who told me the Raptors were gonna sweep the 76ers
10
14
813
Several students have convinced me to give everyone extra credit if the Eagles make the playoffs.
Their fate is in your hands,
@Eagles
.
Go birds.
9
44
734
You’d be shocked too if you saw something that big
Why is every coach that faces Nick Foles left with this face 😂
57
2K
7K
4
112
617
That's right. Go Phils.
1
45
596
go birds
A bald eagle took down a government drone in Michigan, state officials say, "tearing off a propeller and sending the aircraft to the bottom of Lake Michigan."
2K
4K
19K
7
82
554
Can’t blame Wentz. Imagine his shock when he realized Mack was open. Of course he missed the throw.
13
66
513
Howie like
Name to watch in trade if the Colts can't land Cousins or another proven starter: Gardner Minshew.
121
88
964
0
41
548
“Unfortunately, since that time, it’s been all Philadelphia.”
Love unbiased color commentary.
3
25
512
To Iranian President Rouhani: FOLES RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE LINE IT'S A DIRECT SNAP AND IT GOES TO CLEMENT WHO GIVES IT OFF TO BURTON THE TIGHT END WHO THEN THROWS IN THE ENDZONE TOUCHDOWN FOLES CAUGHT THE BALL ON A TOUCHDOWN PASS OF A YARD BY THE TIGHT END. WHAT DID WE JUST SEE?
7
136
463
It’s important to remember that the Giants are the hottest team in the NFL
14
44
489
It feels good to be the bad guys again tbh.
After Philly saved the election, things were too quiet.
5
51
464
Wow my daughter is doing an incredible Donovan Mitchell impression!!
6
19
438
Final grades are in. I graduate from Penn State with a 3.94 GPA.
41
11
385
9
13
395
@LaneJohnson65
@Eagles
@NFL
@NFLPA
Glad you're back. Even more glad that you prioritized your health and wellbeing first.
0
1
373
Wait. Is this clown bragging about Giants fans filling their own stadium?
27
8
350
Rush Limbaugh’s death is a good reminder that I’m going to try and live a life that doesn’t cause countless people to celebrate when I die
5
83
308
Just now realizing there's a Sixers, Phillies, and Flyers home game all on Saturday. 0% chance I'm parking at the stadiums.
12
10
346
She’s just watching Kork’s game winner for the 69th time
There was just a TON of water pouring out the top of One Liberty Place. Continues for like 5 mins. Anyone have info?
329
712
2K
9
33
292
I agree.
There’s no chance he plays week 17 after locking up the
#1
seed. He may even miss week 16 !
3
31
299
This explains Castellanos today
5
34
341
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Malcolm Jenkins Says Goodbye (to Brandin Cooks)
#Eagles
#GhanaSaysGoodbye
@MalcolmJenkins
13
97
300
Nick Foles is out of control
A woman got the "fright of her life" when she woke up to find a 3ft snake snuggled up next to her in bed
55
41
110
3
64
281
@07aerograd
@cs1891
@benphillips76
Hey Kathy, as an English teacher, I can tell you that his point was still entirely clear. Also that's not how Jesus would act.
1
5
266
Mark Schlereth has got to be the worst of the color commentary guys
38
9
273
Can’t believe we used to go through this from 07-11. How did any of us survive?
17
14
271
0
1
227
I've come to the decision that "America's Team" is, in fact, the Dallas Cowboys.
Why?
We have the highest incarceration rate in the world.
13
72
200
If they ever invent a time machine, I’m gonna go back to 1968 and cancel that Santa halftime show. I can’t take it anymore.
10
20
249
Let me tell you about the absolute badass sitting next to me in this picture.
This is Kim, my wife. She just earned her master's degree from Drexel.
(cont.)
15
4
198
Rams fans probably hate Wentz getting injured more than Eagles fans tbh
5
49
200
Like 5 and then I’m immediately fumbling the football and dying as soon as someone hits me
3
13
239
I end each school year with the students creating memes to recap the year/give advise to my future students. A few highlights from this year:
They know I give extra credit if my teams win. They also know that I am, unfortunately, a Philadelphia fan.
11
13
233
I JUST WANT TO GO TO BED ON TIME
0
10
232
At the hospital with the wife. Baby will be here soon. Mama is doing well!
14
1
208
Let's go Brandon???
Congratulations to
@brandongraham55
, named NFC Defensive Player of the Week!
#FlyEaglesFly
91
1K
9K
11
6
209
We gotta start a stadium wide “Fire Howie” chant in two weeks.
8
35
206
Update: we're going for a C section. Baby and Mama are both okay. Baby just seems to be caught up somewhere.
29
0
201
White parents, ya gotta do a better job of addressing white privilege with your kids.
I'm sick my my white students getting so uncomfortable just hearing the phrase.
I'm not going to stop talking about it in my classroom but it'd be nice to not be fighting the battle alone.
15
17
184
Sean McVay is so smart he managed to find a way to lose to the Eagles JV squad. Just incredible stuff from the young head coach.
6
28
168
I've always found the best way to avoid "being cancelled" on Twitter is to not post racial slurs.
6
17
178
@IanKarmel
I later found out that they tried recreating a lot of my own dessert recipes after I was fired based on the ingredient list I gave them when I was hired.
Unfortunately for them I never wrote my recipes down & I gave them some dummy ingredients in case of this exact scenario.
1
0
179
According to my students, this slide is needlessly threatening
17
6
192
Absolutely devastated that Dickerson isn't 69.
10
11
183