๐๐ฅ ๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐
@bradcasey4evr
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hope everyone is having a wonderful day, my birthday ๐ฅ
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some guy had a stroke while driving and ran into my parents house. no one was hurt thankfully, but my dad was home when it happened and he immediately called my mom and didnโt tell her anything just said โhow would you feel about getting a new front porch?โ
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thinking about this guy who, in the last restaurant I worked in, wrote in his reservation note โplease act like Iโm a regular and youโre happy to see me. I asked out this famous actress and she said yes, I donโt know what to do Iโm batting way out of my league hereโ.
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FKA twigs thinks sheโs Bjรถrk. Bjรถrk thinks sheโs God. God spoke to us through Grimes for three weeks in August of 2011 as she recorded Visions and then abruptly turned His back on all creation forever.
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person Iโm dating said theyโve never heard of The Strokes. I played โLast Niteโ for them and said you must have heard this before and they said โwhere do you think I would I hear a song like this?โ.
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told my friend that a good way to deal with a negative emotion is to imagine that negative emotion as a baby and youโre holding that baby and telling it you love it and he sent me this picture he drew
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just found this poster on the wall outside my bar ๐ฅ
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thank god I live in canada. which is systematically privatizing health care, closing off immigration, housing crisis, more money for cops, more money for israel, what else.
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Iโve seen a lot of things on here this year but nothing has haunted me quite like the Toronto accent video. Iโll be going through my day and hear โyouโre sick to my stomach famโ as if from the void of eternity
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@veryhotmomm tbh I donโt remember. she was in some tv show Iโd never heard of but I guess is popular? the rest of the staff seemed to know it and were impressed. and she was absolutely stunning and he was truly out of his depth.
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also please: 2-3 of you know my parents do not tell them you heard about this through twitter my mom would hate that.
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lotta good ones going around, I just remembered this one today from my favourite episode ๐ฅ
Gun to to your head, what is the *best* Simpsons joke? However you wanna define it; pics, GIFs, clips, and overwrought explanations welcome.
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man with the thickest Parisian accent Iโve ever heard came into my work tonight and asked for a Dr Pepper. it was a mess. sounded like he was drowning.
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Quebec is a deeply, deeply unserious place I stfg
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this look wouldnโt even get a second glance on rue Beaubien in Montreal, Quebec.
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feel like Iโm always work, watch movie, look phone, $87 grocerie.
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@fruitcontent yeah, my dad was out two minutes before getting the mail, my aunt had just left. pretty scary stuff but hey, my dad knows when to keep things light.
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that Quebec influencer story was so funny because it began with a simple comedic premise: that of the Quebec influencer.
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if you liked this tweet buy my book, I spent 4 years writing it and it came out a month into the pandemic which very sucked sales and ego-wise, itโs the best thing Iโve ever written and itโs good, very fun read .
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Montreal is known for its depravity but tbh one of the most depraved things you can do here is to eat a fresh bagel raw in the street, right outside the bagel shop, no cheese no nothing.
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okay the guy had a ministroke and is fine. also Iโve muted this, if you have a blue check Iโm hiding your reply and blocking you. also closing replies, stop. please buy my book if you like books, link in bio ๐ฅ.
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people like to say movie stars donโt have juice anymore but I think this guy does. put him in a Heat-style โtwo guys that love each other so much one of them will have to kill the otherโ movie with Robert Pattinson and Iโll fund it with wage garnishment for the rest of my life.
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people are being weird in the replies. restricting them now, stop being weird everyone thanks.
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Iโm sorry but this is the most Quebecois anyone has ever been. truly beautiful stuff right here.
One of the things I love most about Celine Dion is she is absolutely out of her mind and sheโs never pretended to be anyone else.
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I canโt stop faceapping Tony Soprano please help
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looks like this tweet might have legs. before people get weird in the replies and rts I want to be clear that I think theyโre all great, I love them, except God who cursed me with a beautiful brain thatโs always right ๐ก.
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@danpjsheehan sheโs also used her platform to speak against against evictions and for tenant organizing / solidarity in Ireland
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I try not to angry tweet but the Ontario NDP just kicked Sarah Jama out of the party for making these statements. itโs so frustrating and sickening that the party meant to represent the progressive left would do something so spineless. fuck the NDP, much love to Sarah Jama.
Thirteen days ago, I called for an immediate ceasefire and de-escalation by the Israeli government, which had begun a horrific siege on Palestinians in Gaza. Since I made that statement, Israel has only escalated its assault on millions of Gazans. 1/
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love how how wikipedia depicts โwifeโ
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@Hezbolsonaro itโs an economy based on those memes where drake is like ๐ซ๐ค then ๐๐.
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apologies to the haters and losers but Montreal is the most beautiful city in the summer.
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this is the last thing Iโm saying on this subject ๐ฅ
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for the record Iโm not against it.
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showing my 67 year old parents around Montreal like thatโs where they filmed Azealia Banksโ 212 video, thatโs where Grimes played her first show.
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decided with some friends last night what the most / least attractive jobs are. most attractive jobs:.-barista.-concert cellist.-wood worker.-arborist.-construction worker. least attractive jobs:.-writer.-real estate agent.-DJ.-influencer.-โin techโ.
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Montreal is a cool place if you like places that are cold, dark, no sun, everything grey, the winter looming, everyone youโve ever loved has left you, nightmares every night, the mountain is pretty cool what else.
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@merry123459 I canโt stop thinking about this post. itโs one of the funniest things Iโve seen all day. like imagine basing your vote on how a guy looked sleepy in an out of context screenshot one time lol.
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@jakebrodes I remember seeing the end of The Assassination of Jesse James, how Robert Ford found success and fame as an actor reenacting the assassination in a play for sold out audiences and I thought no way. no way can that be what happened.
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this has to be one of the funniest images Iโve ever seen. might delete because Iโm sorry to share this in a public forum tbh
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@JesseBrown all due respect, describing Indigo as a โJewish-owned bookstoreโ is a bit disingenuous when itโs a chain store and the CEO and his wife are zionists funding occupation
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they should do construction that makes roads worse.
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some Montreal DJ NEEDS to sample the snow plow warning siren for like a house or jungle song or something, instant icon I promise.
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last night I asked a girl who her favourite Spice Girl was and she said โIโm 21 and a lesbianโ.
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quebec is so fucking weird sometimes omg
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just waiting for someone to do this for Montreal neighbourhoods and go viral on Montreal twitter (350 likes).
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how do you serve cunt in a maritime way?.
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whatโs everybody doing for Clean Air Day? personally Iโm going to go outside and breathe in all the clean air ๐
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imagine meeting up with the boys, cracking a beer with the boys, having a laugh with the boys, your mouth lightly grazing the cheek of the boys, whispering soft words into the ear to the boys, looking into the eye of the boys, lovingly.
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can't get over Anne Michaels using the term "in solidarity with" four times in her Giller Prize acceptance speech and not once using the word "Palestinians" and then also having the nerve to say "I write because the dead can read" like let's get real just say you wanted the money.
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I donโt want to have a โniceโ life I want to have crush on everyone and write my little poems.
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@_pem_pem itโs been like a week since it started and itโs still not exhausted. seems unprecedented.
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thought of this meme today walking around another downed tree in the sidewalk ๐ฅ
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sometimes in Montreal youโre just trying to get to work but thereโs a bunch of shit on fire on your route
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@thisyearsgurl six years ago a friend said to me โyou know, I like you because youโre skinny-fat like meโ I still remember exactly where I was standing in that moment, the whole scene is seared in my memory.
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@JoyceCarolOates Joyce youโre on fire right now, just dunk after dunk! love to see it ๐ฅ.
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there should be a french canadian AOC and they should call her Et Aussi.
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a little over a year ago I put all my life and dreams aside to focus on working and paying off debt. it was awful. Iโm glad this chapter of my life is over and I can plan for joy again. I hope youโre all, like me, having a beautiful day with a now possible beautiful future๐ฅ
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@RabbitRichards cold comfort but it is illegal for anyone in health care to suggest MAiD. I donโt know how this applies to crisis lines but likely it falls into the same legal area. it could benefit to organize, lodge complaints, and press them on their policies
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was wearing my Bear by Marian Engel shirt at the gym and an older guy told me it was the first book he read when he moved to Canada. which, if you know about this book, is a wild introduction ๐
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restricting replies because this has left containment and people are starting to be weird. yes, I left out many important things, chill.
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I donโt know a single person who has listened to a Stars song since 2006, why do they get grants, why do they get polaris long listed, sorry to be a hater but why.
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imagine if I could be like โokay weโre closing the bar because Iโm sleepyโ and everyone was like โoh the bar is closing, the bartender is sleepyโ.
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living in Montreal and having a Toronto number is like living with the mark of the beast. god forbid I have to text or call anyone who doesn't have me in their contacts, it's instant attitude almost every time.
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a lot of people in the replies saying this is staged but Iโve lived in Montreal long enough to witness and therefore know that a man with a unicycle is an unstoppable force of nature.
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really love this story my friend just posted ๐ฅ
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the fact that conservative covid deniers are blasting Rage Against the Machine might seem antithetical but itโs actually so on point. for them itโs all about what it FEELS like and not at all about the substance of the thing
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@HaleyOSomething sheโs making an argument about the absurdity of colonial concepts of borders and for this she should be applauded ๐ฅ.
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@wolfkafka_ I agree. residential school deniers, ongoing cultural genocide of First Nations people, mercury poisoning in Grassy Narrows, the continuing assault against Wet'suwet'en land defenders, awful country.
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made this last week when I was drunk and put it in the drafts and forgot about it until now ๐ฅ
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canโt imagine dating a quebecois person. what if youโre having sex and they say โoh tabarnacโ or โah ouaiโ or something? too silly.
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just thought of this, donโt know if anyone has done it yet so ๐ฅ
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@JoyceCarolOates Ms Oates, Iโm wondering if youโve seen the movie Heat? itโs a wonderful film about friendship and love and the mysterious bonds that we form with one another. specifically whether or not one runs when one senses heat around the corner. it is โwell executedโ as you might say.
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look, I'm all for fun, I love it. but there's something about that game that people play in the park with the little trampoline and the ball that really drives me crazy. it makes me angry. idk, I don't think it's a me problem.
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what is happening in this apartment in Parc Ex listed as โnothing included, $1000/monthโ ???
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was at a bar last night and this kid in a McGill hoodie, this absolute hero, stood up from his table with his cheeks blown out, like obviously full of barf, and god bless him he WALKED to the bathroom and it was locked and he WAITED, full cheeks, to go in. incredible.
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these are a few poems by Xu Lizhi, a Foxconn factory worker in Shenzhen who jumped to his death from his dormitory, in large part because of exploitative working conditions. theyโre some of the most important poems of our century so far, I think
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@JoyceCarolOates this guy was cooked like three quote tweets ago at least, heโs got to know when to quit.
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in Montreal, in summer you dance to acid house. but in spring, only hyperpop. in winter you die, you dance to hyperpop and you die. you cannot even read the show posters. you donโt know where the venue is, who is DJing. in spring you must dance in skateparks and sewers
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disgusting to see @rickmercer trying to rip the signs from these peoples hands, people in the crowd smirking, to hear booing, what a shameful reaction.
BREAKING: Protestors disrupt @scotiabankโs Giller Prize Ceremony this evening. Scotiabank is funding the genocide of the Palestinian people through its $500 million stake in Elbit Systems, Israelโs largest weapons manufacturer.
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one must imagine Sisyphus happy. and jacked. maybe he holds me, sweetly, until I fall asleep. maybe thatโs his thing, that he holds me until I fall asleep every night for eternity yeah.
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true story: back in 2017 the hot dog girl from Hot Rod convinced me to move to Vancouver to live with her, when we were on MDMA together, and I did.
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โmove to Montrealโ they said. โitโll be fun!โ they said
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